SusanofO
Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005 Status: offline
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True, but why couldn't he simply have stated that in the first place, as a concern? Maybe other arrangements could have been made, and he has some responsibility to voice concerns if he has them, IMO. He supposedly agreed whole-heartedly to the arrangements that had been set up. Personally, I think he sounds very misguided as far as what I'd consider proper behavior. I think it was more than a little rude to simply not show up, and then at least not call, to let you know why. How inconsiderate does one have to be not to realize, that when someone is expecting you to come to their town, and has gone out of their way to make all of the necessary arrangements to accomodate you, that simply not communicating after failing to show up, might leave your host wondering if you are dead somewhere? He sounds pretty dim not to have realized this at least as a possibility as far as your reaction, and I say you are right in your reponse. On the other hand, if someone is really willing to give up their whole "other life" to be with you, and seems otherwise a good match, maybe you could call him, and hold a lengthy and somewhat stern discussion about what a better alternative behavior would be, other than the one he exhibited in this instance, should similar circumstances arise again? This would also give him a chance to voice any possible concerns he has about the situation (although frankly, I am not one who beieves you should need to drag any concerns he has out of him, if he has them, unless you have really brutally intimidated him, for some reason).Your call. I once invited a friend to meet me during my Summer vacation at a lake. She was to bring her two UMs on a Tuesday evening, and I was meeting her at a train station. When she didn't show up, I was panic-stricken, thinking she had been robbed, or been in a car accident on the way to the station, etc. When two hours passed, and she still hadn't phoned me to tell me why she had not shown up, and I could not reach her either, I called the local police, and they were downtown, searching the streets for her possibly dead body, as well as those of her two young UMs. I was in a total panic, on her behalf. It turned out she had simply gotten the date wrong, as far as when she thought she was supposed to arrive, and then told me I "misunderstood", because I was a little miffed when she did (finally) arrive. I was more than a little irked, but I did forgive her, because getting the date wrong was certainly possible. However, I also know how scatter-brained she can sometimes be, and asked her why she has simply not written the date we'd agreed on down on a piece of paper somewhere? Ahem. Does it really take a genius to decipher such mundane solutions, to these supposedly mind-boggling dilemmas? Why were Post-It notes invented? - Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 10:46:54 PM >
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"Hope is the thing with feathers, That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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