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What would You do? - 4/6/2007 9:55:53 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		OK fellow Mistresses, first I have a confession:

Recently I committed a crime in My eyes ... I spoke for all of You! I try hard not to do that, I hate politicians claiming that they speak for Me ... I try not to speak for anyone else ... but this time I did. So now, I would love to hear Your opinions and find out if I was "on the money"!

So here is the scenario:

I am seeking a slave, if I find the right one, he will be 24/7 with Master and I. However, as We have just moved across Australia, We weren't actively seeking at this moment. Recently I was contacted by a male would-be slave here on collarme who said all the right things. he wasn't all play-oriented, wasn't all about "what will You do to me?" but instead was concerned with what he would bring to the relationship. he was keen to perform domestic service, and to have his Owner take control. This has been his desire for a long time and he knew that in his own patriarchal country, finding what he sought there would be highly unlikely. Hence he was in the process of moving to Australia where he would be more likely to find a lifestyle Mistress, and already had his flight booked. he has an import/export business and explained that as it was internet-based, it didn't really matter whether he lived in a big city or a smaller town. While he had a few days worth of business to conduct in the big city he had the ticket to, after that he could move elsewhere. he suggested he move then to the country town near where We live, rent an apartment and so be near by for consideration and to start his training. All seemed sweet. Master and I discussed it, He agreed that despite the poor timing, it was worth trying.

he arrived in Australia, I was able to confirm the flight he arrived on, and his location in the city where he was staying. W/we spoke extensively on the phone and I undertook to book some accommodation for him in My nearby town. The day before he was due to fly up here, he said the airline had overbooked the special Easter flights and so he was delayed for 2 days ... certainly not an unusual situation, airlines do that with monotonous regularity. But in that 2 days ... he suddenly dropped off the air ... he didn't return My messages, whether online, left at the Lodge where he was staying, or on his mobile. I was frantic, upset, eventually when he didn't turn up on the second day he was supposed to, I cancelled the accommodation, feeling very bad for having held it at such a busy time.

That night he phoned. I was cold and angry, he seemed very confused, business wasn't going well, he hadn't received a payment required to have cash to buy the ticket to My area, and to set himself up in accommodation. he really didn't have a valid excuse as to why he hadn't phoned other than that he was upset by the mess-up in the plans. I nearly cut him off then and there. However he did have stock still to sell and he also could get money transferred from his home country after the Easter holiday. So I suggested he stay put, sort out his money problems, then come here when he could. But what floored Me is this ... now he would only come if "I would give him a real chance to prove himself". By that he meant that he wanted to move straight in with Master and I for 2 weeks, after which We could "kick him out" if he wasn't suitable. I told him no, as I had explained all along that 24/7 would happen ONLY when/if Master and I decided We wanted him in Our home full time. he became very obstinate about it, while I wore My voice out explaining about slavery, My will etc etc. he intimated that I couldn't be a "real Mistress" if I didn't realise I could only find out if a slave is suitable by having him serve 24/7. That's when I saw red and said "No "real Mistress" worth serving would take in a slave She's not even set eyes on in person without meeting him first and going through a period of training from a safe distance.

So Ladies ... was I right? How would You have responded to this situation?

I gather that he has now returned to his own country ... leaving Me disappointed and frustrated!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)
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RE: What would You do? - 4/6/2007 10:07:03 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		If you have never moved to another country you can't really understand what a big freaking deal it is and how cut off and alone you feel all of a sudden. I expect that was at least part of the problem. He found himself cut off and he wanted some kind of guarantee, something he could count on. You could not give him that. As you did not want a stranger moving into your home. He was taking a risk moving to another country to be with strangers. When I moved I at least knew the guy I was moving to marry, even if I knew no one else and had no job, etc. Your guy here had zip! It was too much and should not have happened. Someone should have realized you don't move to another country on impulse unless you have something stable set up with at least someone you can really count on.

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Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What would You do? - 4/6/2007 10:14:37 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		True, but why couldn't he simply have stated that in the first place, as a concern? Maybe other arrangements could have been made, and he has some responsibility to voice concerns if he has them, IMO. He supposedly agreed whole-heartedly to the arrangements that had been set up. Personally, I think he sounds very misguided as far as what I'd consider proper behavior. I think it was more than a little rude to simply not show up, and then at least not call, to let you know why.

How inconsiderate does one have to be not to realize, that when someone is expecting you to come to their town, and has gone out of their way to make all of the necessary arrangements to accomodate you, that simply not communicating after failing to show up, might leave your host wondering if you are dead somewhere? He sounds pretty dim not to have realized this at least as a possibility as far as your reaction, and I say you are right in your reponse.

On the other hand, if someone is really willing to give up their whole "other life" to be with you, and seems otherwise a good match, maybe you could call him, and hold a lengthy and somewhat stern discussion about what a better alternative behavior would be, other than the one he exhibited in this instance, should similar circumstances arise again?

This would also give him a chance to voice any possible concerns he has about the situation (although frankly, I am not one who beieves you should need to drag any concerns he has out of him, if he has them, unless you have really brutally intimidated him, for some reason).Your call.    

I once invited a friend to meet me during my Summer vacation at a lake. She was to bring her two UMs on a Tuesday evening, and I was meeting her at a train station. When she didn't show up, I was panic-stricken, thinking she had been robbed, or been in a car accident on the way to the station, etc.

When two hours passed, and she still hadn't phoned me to tell me why she had not shown up, and I could not reach her either, I called the local police, and they were downtown, searching the streets for her possibly dead body, as well as those of her two young UMs. I was in a total panic, on her behalf.

It turned out she had simply gotten the date wrong, as far as when she thought she was supposed to arrive, and then told me I "misunderstood", because I was a little miffed when she did (finally) arrive. I was more than a little irked, but I did forgive her, because getting the date wrong was certainly possible.

However, I also know how scatter-brained she can sometimes be, and asked her why she has simply not written the date we'd agreed on down on a piece of paper somewhere? Ahem. Does it really take a genius to decipher such mundane solutions, to these supposedly mind-boggling dilemmas? Why were Post-It notes invented?

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/6/2007 10:46:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 12:37:13 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies thus far. Actually Laura, I HAVE moved from another country, I came from UK to Australia years ago as an awkward teenager, so I do know what a big deal it is. And it is almost as big a deal to move 5000km within the one country to a town I had not seen until I bought a house here. I repeat that he already had his move to Australia in progress before he first approached Me ... so he didn't do so specifically to meet ME ... he came hoping to meet "A Mistress". And I did give him a guarantee, way more than I do for most would-be sub boys who have no promise even of an introductory session until I have met them at a coffee meet ... I told him I was willing to meet him and commence training in the hope that he would prove suitable. I was open-minded especially in terms of his being from a totally different culture, despite the possible difficulties that could arise with explaining his presence to Master's family. I told him I was willing to help him find accommodation, get his driver's licence here, buy a car and generally settle in. The only thing I was unwilling to do was to take him straight into My home. For all I knew he could have been a diamond smuggler and I'd have the police on My doorstep! And it was also for HIS safety, for all he knew, Master and I could be axe murderers! To Me, it would have been very poor protocol to bring him straight into My home and a very poor example to others. he also told Me he had extensively researched the move to Australia and was confident he had sufficient business contacts to make it work. he was also carrying a substantial amount of stock so should not have had financial problems. However, it transpires that his research was insufficient, he couldn't access his debit card here so couldn't easily get hold of the money held in his homeland, and was over-confident about his ability to break into business here. I was the one urging caution, telling him it wouldn't be as easy as he thought and offering what support I was prepared to give within the situation. My problem was partly with the fact that he went back on his OWN suggested arrangement of renting a place nearby ... and that he clearly wanted to do it HIS way in complete disregard to what Master and I wanted or would allow ... totally at odds with someone who swears he wants to be a slave, not a sub, a SLAVE.

Thanks Susan, yes that is precisely how I felt! I was worried, I was angry, I felt lost as to what to do. It was with a very heavy heart that I finally cancelled the accommodation, and that at Master's urging that it was the right thing to do by the owners of the very reasonably-priced lodge I had booked for him. The long and stern phone calls occurred, that night (about 3 hours!) and for at least another 2 hours the next day. Even when he phoned to say he had confirmed his return flight to his homeland, I still offered the same chance ... to come here and start training while living nearby. That despite all the hassle, I was still willing to try although I was fairly sure by then that he was still wanting his own way. When he objected, saying he couldn't be a slave for 2 hours and alone for the other 22, I pointed out that (a) training sessions were likely to be longer than 2 hours, I already had a lot of work lined up as well as plans for more intimate training and (b) that once he accepted the role of slave-in-training then he would be My slave 24 hours a day, whether he was in My presence or not. Just as i am Master's slave whether W/we are together or apart. As to intimidation, no, that is definitely NOT My style. I am very much the kind and caring type of Domme. he was the one wanting "hard slavery" ... I pointed out that giving up one's freedom of choice was the hard part, and I didn't want to spend My whole life being cruel. I had covered that extensively in the prior emails and he had made out that he understood that and was "wired" to be obedient and not to do wrong just to get My attention or punishment. he also said he knew when to speak up and when to keep his mouth shut ... that got lost somewhere along the way in the later phone calls too!

I feel for you with the situation with your friend, fortunately I didn't get the police involved though I admit, I considered it! And yes, not much of an excuse, if you know you have a poor memory, write things down! And then don't lose the piece of paper LOL!

Looking forward to some more comments.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]



_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 12:56:58 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, if that is the sort of "sight unseen" arrangement he really wants from someone, then my guess is that the odds are as good as not, that eventually, he may well find out the hard way that you actually had the ethical way of doing things in mind, if he persists in this kind of bull-headedness.

He sounds a little "hard-core" (and way too soon, IMO). I agree with your reasoning. He should have hopefully felt mostly confident, that you'd have his best interests in mind. I realize he didn't know you very well, but - that is even more reason (at least I'd think so) to not want to go 24-7 with a couple immediately.

At the risk of sounding jaded, it is possible he has some other, possibly sinister, plan up his sleeve, and is just waiting for someone to come along who is stupid enough to take the bait. Hence his adamance about moving in with you immediately (a bit like the Nigerian "submissives" that seem to plague some male Dominants on this site, who ask them to send money, before they can come see them, etc.).

I can't imagine what this plan would be, but frankly, I suspect something might be up in that regard, because his reaction just seems "fishy" to me. If he did have some not-so-nice plan in mind for you, then you are certainly better off without him.

Sorry this happened to you, though.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/7/2007 1:13:59 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 1:19:55 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay


... he seemed very confused, business wasn't going well, he hadn't received a payment required to have cash to buy the ticket to My area, and to set himself up in accommodation. he really didn't have a valid excuse as to now he would only come if "I would give him a real chance to prove himself". By that he meant that he wanted to move straight in with Master and I for 2 weeks, after which We could "kick him out" if he wasn't suitable.

So Ladies ... was I right? How would You have responded to this situation?



Hi Violet

Well, what a bizarre story!

Couple of observations:


1) If you want a "real slave", look around the Australian comunity. Master Cyp's site is probably the best place to find genuine lifestylers.  It has the highest standard of membership in terms of owners of BDSM clubs, BDSM writers, pro-dommes etc - www.bdsmaustralia.darksilk.com

2) Seems to me this guy came to Oz on business and wanted to give himself a 2 week BDSM holiday at your B&D B&B!!  Do you know how much it costs to be a full time slave for 2 weeks at, say, Salon Kittys in Sydney or the Correction Centre in Melbourne?  Thousands and thousands.  He wanted you and your husband to give him free accomodation and 24/7 playtime.....all for the cost of a side trip to Bundeburg :)

Nice try, don't you think?

3)  Be realistic - what kind of person would really agree to move countries for someone they had never met, much less some married couple?  To be their unpaid domestic? Not a sane person.

 I think you two dodged a bullet and should be happy that guy was a no-show. 

Slaves are very hard work and a huge commitment.  A slave from another country with financial problems?  Bad idea. 

Don't be frustrated.  Just chock it up to experience and get a local slave for a while.  Let them move in for a day or so and see what you think.

PS next time you are down my way, please come as our guests to Abode.

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 4/7/2007 2:14:06 AM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 1:25:43 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Wow. That could certainly be the reason (#2). He wanted to be in  Australia, and be a slave, but didn't want to pay for a Pro Domme. If that is the case, (and I can well imagine it could be) then yeah, count your blessings he's gone.

But, IMO, if you do suspect this could be what happened, don't beat yourself up for not seeing it. Most nice people might not see it (MsCMelbourne was a Pro Domme, so she probably saw this kind of thing happen more than a little).

I am glad I read her post, though. It pays to be cautious, and you sound too nice to get screwed around by someone who would do something like that.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/7/2007 1:55:54 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 2:00:29 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe there is some truth in Your suggestion MsC ... though people seem to be missing the fact that I didn't invite him to Australia, nor was he coming specifically to meet Me. I was very active in the scene in Perth and ran a Dungeon, so have been doing plenty of looking locally. I have met lots of Aussie sub males, had sessions with some, most I found were too "play with me" oriented and not prepared to be all-round subs/slaves. one special lad I played with regularly for 2 years until he ultimately found a Domme closer to his age and of his own ethnicity (with My blessing and to My joy!). Even with locals, I would NEVER let one move in for a day sight unseen, I insist on meeting in a public place, then a cooling off period before a first training session. I usually discount those from overseas simply as I am not willing to get into the whole LDR thing again. This one was different in that his trip to Australia was already booked and was imminent. Also he didn't present initially with financial problems, or unwillingness to pay his way. That he would have to pay for his own accommodation, food etc was clear from the beginning and was his own suggestion that I ratified. I am not a pro-Domme (though I am friends with several from Perth and have nothing against them), and I made it clear I wouldn't charge him for My services as I was looking for a lifestyle slave, which is what he professed to want to be. Sane people DO enter the lifestyle to be unpaid domestics ... as long as their needs are met in the power exchange.

By the way, You have made an assumption that Master is My husband which He is not. And violet is my sub name, Jay is My Domme name. However, I agree that We have dodged a possible bullet with this one! And so far, no other Mistress has come out to say that of course She would let him move in right away ... so I am feeling vindicated in that!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 2:11:41 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Apologies Jay.  I have never been a pro-domme btw but the extra facts helped somewhat. 

I agree completely that strangers should not move in for a day, much less 2 weeks!  The fact that you never invited the guy to Australia and you and your live in partner were not actively seeking a sub at the time makes me all the more sure he was the one pursuing you for a kinky holiday. 

I would not regret your decision to make him stay at his own accomodation





_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

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RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 2:19:51 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Oops. I thought you had been, at some point. Sorry (really).

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 2:23:51 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Oh no, no need to apologise!! 

I get asked all the time if I am pro-domme.  I was offered an apprenticeship once but declined. 

I am predominantly a BDSM writer and sometimes give workshops.  Thats about it.  Never run a dungeon (unless you count my own bedroom :)


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 2:29:33 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well I thought your opinion was right on, in this case.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 3:18:13 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I feel when someone has to start throwing your not a true mistress and a mistress would when they don't get what they want have finally figured you won't be manipulated.

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


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RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 3:20:21 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Great point, Feline.
 
- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 2:16:53 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		RED FLAG NO. 1: " he has an import/export business and explained that as it was internet-based, it didn't really matter whether he lived in a big city or a smaller town. While he had a few days worth of business to conduct in the big city he had the ticket to, after that he could move elsewhere. " 
Honey, 'import/export business internet based' means either drug deals or he's a fugitive running from one birdsnest on the ground to another birdsnest on the ground keeping one step in front of Interpol.

RED FLAG # 2: W/we spoke extensively on the phone and I undertook to book some accommodation for him in My nearby town. The day before he was due to fly up here, he said the airline had overbooked the special Easter flights and so he was delayed for 2 days ... certainly not an unusual situation, airlines do that with monotonous regularity. But in that 2 days ... he suddenly dropped off the air
After this disappearance he'd have never had a chance to get to Red Flag no. 3 with Me, I'd have ended communication without worrying about where the liar was for the 2 days in question.

Red Flag No 3: he seemed very confused, business wasn't going well, he hadn't received a payment required to have cash to buy the ticket to My area, and to set himself up in accommodation. he really didn't have a valid excuse as to why he hadn't phoned other than that he was upset by the mess-up in the plans. I nearly cut him off then and there. However he did have stock still to sell and he also could get money transferred from his home country after the Easter holiday.
Oh please, no cash to get the ticket; but he didn't bother to tell you, no excuse, but he can sell off some stock to come to you AFTER EASTER?  *rolls eyes* I can't believe you actually listened to him make excuses.

Red Flag No 4: ... now he would only come if "I would give him a real chance to prove himself". By that he meant that he wanted to move straight in with Master and I for 2 weeks, after which We could "kick him out" if he wasn't suitable.
See Red Flag No 1, in which he's looking for another temporary birds nest on the ground to hide from whatever drug lord is trying to smoke his ass or whatever nefarious line of smuggling he's into....
 
tsk tsk tsk
 
Maam Jay, I don't mean to be so incredulous but what was your first clue?
 
So Ladies ... was I right? How would You have responded to this situation?

*busts out laffing*   heh heh heh
 
I'd have blocked him from 'I have an internet based import export business....'
 
I don't mean to sound disrespectful but honestly, this is kind of a funny read.

 
TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 4/7/2007 2:28:01 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 2:26:26 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		on the money?

Let's you spent far more on this than I would have.

Ultimately you did the only right thing you could do... shut him the f*ck up & discontinue further communication. You just should have done it a lot sooner. You lost your voice with him? Why the heck would you even come close to this with him or anyone. There wasn't anything to debate. As soon as I found myself in a situation where I felt I had to defend my status or methods, the convo would have ended abruptly.

Make sure you don't open the door again because it is OBVIOUS that this one is looking to have things done his way rather than find where he might fit in with an already established scenario.

edited to add... import/exports may not mean anything illegal so that may not be a direct tip off.... but as to meeting I wouldn't have made any arrangements for him... if anything, give him the info to the lodging you might suggest since it is local to you & let him make his own arrangements. Let him make his way to you...



< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/7/2007 2:35:09 PM >

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MstrssPassion


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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What would You do? - 4/7/2007 7:00:52 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		"imports/exports business internet based so it does not matter where I live" = I scrape a living by trading on e-bay


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What would You do? - 4/8/2007 4:44:54 AM   
MiladyAngelique


Posts: 107
Joined: 8/11/2006
Status: offline 		the scary thing is I think I know which person he is, because he contacted me... and I told him to bugger off, but not because I am any smarter then Maam Jay, but simply because I had just been burnt and was not looking for anyone.

I used to let subs come to my home for usually the second meeting to play but I have stopped that 1) for fear of my safety, 2) my cats were getting upset by the screams (and we must not upset the cats)

I have discovered if a sub really wants to meet most times they will help pay for a hotel room and if not then that makes it easy I dont play, I try not to go to subs houses again for safety reasons, and you dont know what they have set up ie camera's.

personally I wouldn't have even booked the accomadation for him. If he wishes to come meet you let him book it under his name and leave his money for a deposit

Angel 

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What would You do? - 4/8/2007 4:53:08 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Gosh, me and mine sure break a lot of rules.

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What would You do? - 4/8/2007 4:16:48 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		I think it's crazy to open your home to someone you have never actually met. Stating that, i have been to someone's home just on a second meeting and have met just for play in a hotel, but i was incharge in all circumstances. Maybe i felt a false sense of security because of that. I know i definately would not let someone move into my home without knowing how well they would fit my lifestyle etc...

I still don't get how telling someone exactly how to dominate you and setting all the rules makes one submissive!

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Profile   Post #: 20
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