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Nikko1962 -> RE: 24/7 relationship (4/25/2007 5:04:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
quote:
ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32
MsC, just out of curiosity, am i to understnd that You consider the nature of his current relationship 24/7? I'm not saying You are right or wrong, was just wondering Your thoughts. i've had live together relationships with 2 women, who were my girlfriend/Domme. But didn't think it was what most would view as 24/7.
I cannot tell you what "most" would view as 24/7, but clearly you and your girlfriend did not think you were 24/7, right? Was that becuase you only did occasional role play in the bedroom?
What the hell is 24/7 anyway?
My submissive is also my boyfriend, partner and best friend.
he has to wear all those hats all at once all the time (24/7).
he does not spend 24/7 in my house at my beck and call. he has to go to work (he is in the US for 2 weeks right now on business).
he only ever calls me Mistress (unless we are in public or with his family)
he wears a silver cockband instead of a collar (far less showy, much classier) as his symbol of ownership 24/7
he was given to me by a pro-domme. That is often how I get really good submissives. The pro-dommes keep their eyes peeled for clean cut, professionaly employed, single men and if they prove themselves genuinly seeking a D/s relationship, flick them my way. (Digression: Our scene does a good job placing single kinky people. The senior Mistresses are the best match makers!!!! :)
We are monogamous. he has no other Dommes and I do not dominate anyone but him.
However, sometimes when we are, say, cuddled up on the couch watching a movie I forget that I am his owner and Mistress. I regularly defer to his view on matters in which he has more expertise. he has....egads....seen me cry and comforted me. And I must confess that we have .....shock horror....had vanilla sex!!!! AND we survived!!!!
EVEN I don't know if "most would view" us as 24/7. It seems to be a label you and your partner adopt.
Thats why I am interested to know what extra things the OP thinks will make their relationship 24/7 now
MsC,
Big validation relief sigh......thanks.
Being at the beck and call of someone 24/7 would be exhausting for me and probably more exhausting for her. I would expect that she is going to need her private down time, that doesn't explicitly include me. I hope that when she is at dinner with girlfriends, she is NOT dwelling on me. I hope she is with them in mind and spirit. I'll still be there when she comes home. The best that I could hope for is that they sparked in her a mischievous idea to come home and wake me up to torment me with. :) If the next day she told me that she missed me the night before, that would be just as good.
For me, the extra thing that would make a relationship 24/7 would be falling in love. Once this has happened, everything changes. That doesn't mean that I give up my self esteem, opinions, career, hobbies, etc. It just means that I have opened the door to all of those things being shared. Shared can mean vanilla or it can mean that there is an outside "influence" or "guidance". I like the idea that the relationship is 51/49% in general. She has the extra 2 shares of voting stock. The explicit and probably more important, implicit power. The undercurrent. When she is in a takeover mood, it's 99/1. When she is dealing with a difficult co-worker and family situation, then some other dynamic. I still want to be a partner for her, the classic provider, hero, cliche'. It's nice to be able to have a conversation based on mutual respect and admiration without the overtone if I say something "wrong" then I'm going to be reprimanded. When I'm at work, I can't imagine calling her to ask permission to stay late because we had an issue that needs resolving. I'll call her to let her know what is happening. Maybe even drop my voice an octave or two to let her know that I will miss being with her. For me (maybe not for others) without the balance, it's not a "relationship".
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