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Politeness. - 4/18/2005 8:08:08 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

This forum, as far as i have understood it is a dicussion forum, where pepole discuss. The point is having pepole whit different points of wiew, expression their opinios. But some pepole can not handel that, different opinios, so they turn to personal atacks.

To day i had a rather unplesant mail waiting for me, by somone that obiously felt grately insulted that i did not have the same opinios as her. i have said not a word againt her peronaly, and was politely debating an topic, her response was in mail to call what i wrote drivel and that i had no clue aboute what i was speaking.

It is sad,realy, when pepole are not strong enough to handel reading aboute somone elses opinions, that they feel they have to atack the person, becouse that would somhw make their opinios more worth. Well guess what, this forum is not a contest, it is not aboute who is right and who is wrong, it is aboute discussing things.

Why do i write this post, is it just to complain, well in a sence i think it is, i do feel quite insulted, that is a flaw i have, i get insulted by such things, but i also write it becouse this is a problem on this forum. i have no number on all the treads that have degenerated into folish arguments, becouse pepole can not handel other disagreeing whit them.

i strongly belive that if we all showed one another a littel more tolerance, and acepted that we are not all the same, this forum would be a nicer, more informative and generaly a better place to learn, to disvuss and to interact whit others.

Post #: 1

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 8:21:58 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Nella, if each of us wrote a public thread every time someone wrote us privately in a not so nice way, we'd have no lives.

It's reality, it sucks, it's not going to stop, and publicly complaining just makes you look like you don't have anything better to do and can't deal with a little cyber crap.

I really don't understand why this KEEPS coming up- we ALL get nasty emails, we ALL get rude responses, we ALL are competent adults and no one here is going to stand up and say "Yes I wrote a nasty email and am now changed forever" because we're all just mannerful and sweet and kumbaya, right?

Ignore and block if you don't like, respond if you do. Online, your safeword is the off button.

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 2

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 8:23:11 AM

CaptivatingRenee

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Knoxville, Tennessee/usa
Status: offline

Hello Nella,
I totally agree with you. In my opinion, for what it's worth, if someone isn't mature enough to agree to disagree then, they shouldn't say anything at all. I am the type who ignores these type of people and never allow them to influence nor waiver my thoughts and feelings. I am so happy to see someone here who is capable of expressing things so maturely as yourself.

Renee

< Message edited by CaptivatingRenee -- 4/18/2005 8:26:00 AM >

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Post #: 3

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 8:25:38 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

Thank you Renee. Emerald, perhaps i should, it was just that this time it ticked me of, and i voiced my opinion, that it had been so much better if we all had tried to be a bit more tolerant and polite towards one another. A rosy wish that will never happen i know, but one must be aloved to hope.

(in reply to CaptivatingRenee)

Post #: 4

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 9:02:00 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

A rosy wish that will never happen? Perhaps. But encouraging tolerance and respect may be necessary once in awhile to help hold the forums to high standards.

This is neither here nor there, but the fact that someone sent you a nasty private email says a lot about their character and also about their inability to discuss politely in a public forum. Sadly, there are many people such as that. All we can do is sigh, decide whether to block them, and move on.

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 5

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 9:53:23 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i guess you are right, but it is hurtful, especialy when i am here simply to discuss the topics of this site. But then she is more popular mand me and tells me most here ignore what i write so perhaps i should not be here at all.

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 6

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 10:01:47 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

No, nella, I wasn't insulted that you have an opinion that differed from my own. I'm tired of what seems to be a highly uninformed opinion, and your need to post on everything.

So, I'm glad you've found yet another place to whine and moan about how people don't understand you, etc.

Let's not forget that you drove Jules away from actually posting on the boards, however, I know she still reads them. Let's not forget that you insulted her, whined and moaned until she couldn't take it anymore and left.

This is not just your playground. Perhaps if you were more discreet about what threads you posted to, people would be less irritated.

And not for nothing, I took my bitch with you privately. For someone who wants to seem so persecuted, how polite is it to have made your own thread for it? Well, it's certainly typical of your need to see your own words on the boards.

Lily

< Message edited by ProtagonistLily -- 4/18/2005 10:04:59 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to nella)

Post #: 7

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 10:10:20 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i express my opinion i do not atack pepole. Yes i got into an argument whit Juels, angers were headed and we both misunderstood the other, like often happens in arguments. i did not drive her from the boards, she nerly drove me away. i am not here to argue, and i am getting tired of this, leve me alone Lily, if you do not want to read my ponsts then ignore me, enyoy the forum and let me do the same.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 8

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 10:12:37 AM

Synocense

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

Whoa. So is that your gripe, Lily? That Nella has an opinion on every topic? Truth is, we all do, don't we? We just don't openly express them as she does. I don't think that makes one wrong or one right. Or maybe you feel Nella is hypocritical? If that is the case, don't read her posts : ) Seems a simple enough solution.

Well wishes,

The reappearing Syn : )

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 9

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 10:15:53 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
No, nella, I wasn't insulted that you have an opinion that differed from my own. I'm tired of what seems to be a highly uninformed opinion, and your need to post on everything.

Hmm well I pretty much post on everything, though I do try to have an informed opinion. I'm curious why you needed to email someone privately just because you were tired of them posting? Did you think it would change the behavior?

quote:

Let's not forget that you drove Jules away from actually posting on the boards, however, I know she still reads them. Let's not forget that you insulted her, whined and moaned until she couldn't take it anymore and left.

I don't know who Jules is but I don't think we can place responsibility on someone posting or not to a cyber board on someone else. This isn't a fuzzy bunny playground where we all hold hands. Some people will thrive in this environment and some won't, if they can't hold enough personal power of their own to deal with an anonymous online poster, it's hardly the posters fault.

And I can't help but see the similarities in this post to what you are accusing Nella of doing?

quote:

This is not just your playground. Perhaps if you were more discreet about what threads you posted to, people would be less irritated.

That's doubtful, people always find something to be irritated about. I post on tons of threads, I wonder if people are sick of seeing my name pop up.

quote:

And not for nothing, I took my bitch with you privately. For someone who wants to seem so persecuted, how polite is it to have made your own thread for it? Well, it's certainly typical of your need to see your own words on the boards.

Lily

I certainly do think it's preferable to keep private things private and a passive aggressive mess to take it public, but this is how things are. We've seen this kind of retorting many times before and I'm sure it won't be the last. I'm sure you both will sometime in the next few months post on the next "manners in the scene" thread about how we need to simply ignore the ones we don't like and be happy in our own lives, tolerant and friendly.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 10

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 10:42:57 AM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Nella, if each of us wrote a public thread every time someone wrote us privately in a not so nice way, we'd have no lives.

It's reality, it sucks, it's not going to stop, and publicly complaining just makes you look like you don't have anything better to do and can't deal with a little cyber crap.

I really don't understand why this KEEPS coming up- we ALL get nasty emails, we ALL get rude responses, we ALL are competent adults and no one here is going to stand up and say "Yes I wrote a nasty email and am now changed forever" because we're all just mannerful and sweet and kumbaya, right?

Ignore and block if you don't like, respond if you do. Online, your safeword is the off button.

Darn! I must be doing something wrong. I *never* get nasy emails...lol.

Nella...honestly...the opinion of someone who doesn't know the first idea about you or your life should be the last thing that has an impact on you and your life.

Lily...OMG...it was YOU??? <giggling> Play nice now....we don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt.

f

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(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 11

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 11:13:56 AM

CitizenCane

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

I really don't understand why this KEEPS coming up- we ALL get nasty emails, we ALL get rude responses...

Actually, I never get nasty emails. People only rag on me publicly. But you could be my first...

_____________________________

Citizen Cane

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 12

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 11:21:35 AM

cellogrrlMK

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nella
i strongly belive that if we all showed one another a littel more tolerance, and acepted that we are not all the same, this forum would be a nicer, more informative and generaly a better place to learn, to disvuss and to interact whit others.

nella, I agree with you 100%. I admit that I have gotten caught up in some insult hurling over the past week or so, and for that I apologize to all of the readers and contributors to these message boards.

I am sincerely sorry for letting my temper get the better of me.

cello

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 13

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 11:35:38 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

I give Lily a lot of credit for stepping up as the sender of the note that upset poor little nella. From the original post, you get the impression it was from somebody who didn't have the nerve to say what was on their mind publicly. So, Bravo Lily!

Of course, I'm really responding because nella has been around long enough to know just how much we enjoy politeness threads, yet she felt compelled to start another because her feelings were hurt. Well boo hoo! What you see as a problem of other folks being impolite, I see as your own problem of childishness comounded by whining. If it is too rough here for your delicate sensibilities, then perhaps you should try to find another playpen where folks will always give you a hug no matter how ridiculous your ideas. But good luck finding such a place, because from what I've seen this place is about as gentle as you'll find on the net.

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(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 14

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 11:50:10 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

Perhaps i should not have started this tread. i was hurt and wanted to speak aboute what botherd me, and the general lack of politeness i often see around here. perhaps i should have just ignored the nasty mail and continued whit my day. but i did not, so i am not perfect.

The thing is happypervert it can be a bit tiresome whn one ask basic politeness and is told one is childish, is it childish to belive that a forum would function mutch better if pepole tried to be nice to one another?

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 15

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 12:19:01 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline

nella,
perhaps you should take your own advice. You told lily to ignore you if she does not want to read your posts. Don't you also have the option to ignore her?
Lets please not have another situation of personal attacks on these boards. This is a place to express opinions, share and learn, and have (hopefully) pleasant conversations with other adults. If you have a problem with somebody please keep it private, or if you must, contact a Mod.

_____________________________

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Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 16

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 12:27:32 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i have not atacked Lily on the board, i spoke in general terms aboute pepole not being polite. The case is she has mutch interesting to say and i want no argument whit her.

(in reply to liltxsubby)

Post #: 17

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 12:28:13 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Lily...OMG...it was YOU??? <giggling> Play nice now....we don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt.

OMG Yeah it was ME!!! ~laughing~ You know, I did play nice. I wrote her a private note, expressing my frustrations in a very decent way and when I was told to basically "Stick It" It got my dander up. I expect adults to be able to disagree privately and be done with it.

nella, for what ever it's worth, I think Happy Pervert and those that followed gave you some very good advice. I find your need to post this publically rude and fairly reprehensible, however. You could take your own advice and learn a few manners.

Or you could just continue to whine about the injustices of the internet and not learn a thing.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to stormsfate)

Post #: 18

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 12:37:09 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i have not given up on internett, i do not say becouse it is internett one can be as rude as one want, and no Lily the mail you sendt me was far from polite. i did hover get angry and answer just as rude and i apology for that, there was no reason for me to be have just as rudely as you. BUt realy i want no argument whit you, why can we not just agree to disagree, and continue to enyoy the forum.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 19

RE: Politeness. - 4/18/2005 12:40:23 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i have not given up on internett, i do not say becouse it is internett one can be as rude as one want, and no Lily the mail you sendt me was far from polite. i did hover get angry and answer just as rude and i apology for that, there was no reason for me to be have just as rudely as you. BUt realy i want no argument whit you, why can we not just agree to disagree, and continue to enyoy the forum.

I already did several posts upthread. You keep wanting to keep this up with all of your little replies and explanations as to why you felt it necessary to bring this into the general post pool instead of keeping it private.

So, if you really want to let this die, and agree to disagree, then do so and stop posting on this thread.

Lily

< Message edited by ProtagonistLily -- 4/18/2005 12:41:16 PM >

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 20

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