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FirmhandKY -> 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming (4/8/2007 4:38:57 PM)
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[:D]
In the spirit of the methods and concerns about global warming that many are trying to address, on this Easter holiday, treasure and I offer 10 almost scientific-like methods to very likely help eliminate or strongly suggest workable ways to reduce global warming:
Enjoy! [:D]
1. Eat more beef and pork.
2. Turn on your air conditioner and leave your windows and doors open.
3. Pave over swamplands with asphalt and paint it white. (For example the Everglades give off tons of methane a year which is at least 21 times a more dangerous greenhouse gas than CO2.). The asphalt locks down carbon, the white paint reflects heat into outer space, and the loss of methane from wetlands will all lower the earth's temperature.
4. Throw more virgins into volcanoes (this both reduces the human population, and appeases the volcano gods - or Gaia whichever you may prefer ... ).
5. Start more wars to reduce the human population (oops, we are doing that now, aren't we?).
6. Socialize health care to reduce the effectiveness of modern medicine, and reduce the average lifespan of the remaining human population.
7. Encourage more abortions (for the same reasons listed above).
8. Encourage the use of large, low mileage vehicles. This will accelerate the use of oil based energy sources, and since we will hit Peak Oil Production sooner, this will force governments to take action (of course, the Peak Oil year has been projected since the late 1970s, but I've been promised that it will REALLY be here soon ...)
9. Burn down the Amazon and other major forests to compact their stored carbon into charcoal. Activated charcoal absorbs water vapor (the worst green house gas). Then bury the charcoal with all it's dangerous moisture in a big hole. Replant the forest to draw further CO2 out the atmosphere. Rinse, lather, and repeat. (This has a further advantage of causing the buried charcoal to eventually turn into liquefied carbon compounds i.e oil, thereby replenishing a vanishing natural resource).
10. Legislate the use of "dry ice" (frozen CO2) as the only legal means of cooling and freezing. This removes large amounts of CO2 from the atmosphere, reduces to zero all fluorocarbons (which are worst than CO2 as a greenhouse gas). As a last ditch measure, use dry ice to stop the melting of the world's ice sheets and glaciers.
11. Eliminate all air pollution controls except for CO2. This will allow the sky to darken, and cause a greater reflection of solar radiation to outer space, therefore a reduction in the Earth's overall temperature.
Please ... feel free to add your own suggestions. Working together, we believe that we can all make the world a better place!
FirmKY
and
Treasure
p.s. We hereby donate these ideas to the public domain and retain no copyright on them.
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