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behindmirrors -> RE: Best Approach? Is there such a thing? (4/9/2007 11:05:39 AM)
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Note: bold emphasis added.
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ORIGINAL: pyrobabe
I'd like to hear from all the sub/slaves out there what is the best way for a Dom/me to approach you?
I'll get to this at the end.
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Though if you are a true slave you don't have a clue what you are looking for and you are hoping it will just find you.
*snip*
Though that is what a true slave really is about... a true slave only cares about what her Master/Mistress wants her/his needs, wants come second.
*snip*
Master and I are looking for a couple true service oriented slaves.
Here's what I've obtained from these quotes from your post:
1. A "true" slave does not have a brain, or any capacity to think for themselves.
2. A "true" slave has no interest in their survival or their happiness.
3. A "true" slave only has one goal- to serve- and if they die because their needs are not met for their own survival, it's really no big deal...nor does it matter if they are fulfilled by what they are doing or not, because they cannot think anyway, so are thus not human.
My first piece of advice: eliminate all these judgements about someone's "truthiness". Just because it is your truth, or the truth of your master, certainly does not mean that everyone shares that point of view. Personally, if I saw all this after reading an email from you or your Master, I would laugh at you- because it is rediculous. I'm a slave, and I'm true to the ideals of slavery that my Master and I decided on- not to some fantasy about a robot-like human with an endless supply of energy and no needs and desires of my own, nor any thoughts of my own. Every human being has needs, and every human being has desires, and those things will have to be fulfilled if they are going to stick around, or even survive. You are going to have to account for that, and show that you are able to meet those things.
Why don't you try figuring out what you can do for a sub/slave you bring into your home? What, exactly, do you offer? How are they going to gain satisfaction from being in a relationship with you and your Master? How are you going to take care of their needs and desires? What kind of expectations do you have, and what room for negotiation for their expectations are you going to have? You're making them an offer to join you- try making it one that is less insulting and a little more beneficial to the person you are offering it to.
Hint: stop seeking out people who fit into your stereotypes, and start seeking out people to adhere to the truths that they declare of themselves. Being true to one's own self is going to be a lot less likely to draw fakes than those who are given the impression that they must be true to your idea of them. Show interest in who they are, and how they define themselves. See if that definition fits what you are looking for, and don't give them an immediate standard to be jumping for.
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I've also found out that a lot of people on this site claim to be sub/slave and they are all about what THEY want and what THEY need and what THEIR fantasies are.. which is fine for those of you looking for that type of thing, but Master and I aren't looking for sub/slaves that are only in this for there own selfish needs/desires.
The essence of this lifestyle is selfish. Each of us is here because it fulfills something we need or desire. Think about that for a while- you wouldn't be here if it didn't work for you- and that is rational selfishness. Go buy a robot if you want someone without selfish needs or desires- because those needs are crucial to their ability to survive, and those desires are crucial to their happiness. A dead and/or completely unfulfilled slave is not going to serve very effectively.
This means: you have to find a way to accomodate them.
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Being a sub/slave means the word "no" is not apart of your vocabulary... so if you can very easily say no to others... chances are you not a true sub/slave.
This relates to the idea that a "true" slave is not capable of thought or survival on their own. Should we ask the slaves and submissives here if they are incapable of surviving on their own terms? Oh, that's right, they are not capable of independent thought. I forgot.
Saying "no" is a way for one to be able to determine what will and will not meet the standards they need for existence.
I can easily say no to others, and from your post and profile, I have seen no reason why someone would say "yes"- and I am true to who I am and what is expected of me because of that very capability- it's a question of morality, in a way. A person with no morals might never say no- but people who have a moral code of their own are going to have this ability. You're back into the judgemental and rediculous stuff again.
Remember, you are not in a relationship with this potential slave yet- and thus, they are not your slave, nor your Master's. They retain the right to say "no" to anything they choose to, and if they are intelligent, they probably will.
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*snip*
So to anyone that considers himself or herself a sub/slave. How would you like a Dom/me to approach you?
I would want a Dom/me to approach me as an equal, first and foremost, because I have not consented to their ownership.
I would want a Dom/me to take an interest in me, personally, and explain what it was that drew them to contact me, as well as to be curious about who I am and what I am interested in beyond what is in my profile.
I would want a Dom/me to treat me as an intelligent person that is deserving of respect, because I am.
I would want a Dom/me to tell me about themselves, about what their life is like, and about what they are looking for in a way that is well thought-out and not judgemental or critical of others, but simply explaining who they are, what they do and like to do, and what would improve in their lives if I were a part of it.
I would want any offers of ownership by a Dom/me to show me the benefits I will personally experience from being in a relationship with them.
I would want any offers of ownership by a Dom/me to tell me how I will be provided for, what will be expected of me, and what my place will be in their life. I would want to know how my needs and desires would be provided for, and how my concerns would be dealt with.
I would want to know what the Dom/me's ambitions were, both within and outside of the lifestyle. I would want to be with someone who was interested in my ambitions as well, and willing to support them.
I would want the offer from a Dom/me to be one that sounds good to me, that would show that I have their respect, and that does many of the things that you are saying a "true" slave should not be concerned with.
Personally, I would try answering some of the questions that are in my responses honestly, both you and your Master. I would also revise my profile, if I were you, to present yourself a little better- especially your second picture, which just looks sloppy, and the first one does not look like it matches your description of yourself as being a happy person. The text should also get some revision, because it gives off a poor impression.
I would also encourage you to listen to what the people responding to your messages are saying. They are the ones you are approaching, and the ones you are trying to impress and to offer what you are to.
Give this all some thought, and if you want, send me your letter for practice. I'll give you some feedback, and try to help you along a bit. I am owned, but I am good at this stuff, so if you want some honest feedback, I'll offer you my help. Your Master is also more than welcome to contact me about any of this through a message, as are you. I think you could benefit, and it will be fun for me to see what I can do.
behindmirrors.
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