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Now concentrate..... - 4/8/2007 7:05:34 PM

SLAVEBOY32

Posts: 122
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Ok so i want to know just how much you think about D/s. I think i am overboard with it. Everywhere i go, everything i see, i look at women and wonder if they are into it, anything tangible i size up for D/s play even if for a second. If i can relate it to D/s i do. I mean we've all talked about things we notice at Home Depot or whatever, but i'm having trouble turning it off. Here's what prompted me to post this, and this is so bad. I go to church today, i usually stand in the back, at the church there is a crying room for kids, with a rest room in it. A woman walks by, has a bag with her, and heads into the bathroom. 5 minutes or so later, she walks out with a small tupperware container with breast milk in it. INSTANTLY i'm thinking, "woah that's kinda hot i wonder if she used a tit pump to get that breast milk out." Then i think, "what the hell is wrong with me i'm at church." And that's just one example, it is like that for me all the time. I mean that wasn't the only time my mind wasn't on D/s during that mass. I constantly have to remind myself during situations to not think about D/s right now. In order for me to not think about D/s i have to be really involved with something, that leaves no room for my mind to think of something else. As soon as i'm done with that task, i think to myself, " haven't though about D/s for like half an hour." I mean it really gets in the way sometimes, and i'm not joking. Am i like way off the deepend here or what?

Post #: 1

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/8/2007 7:17:44 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32

Ok so i want to know just how much you think about D/s. I think i am overboard with it. Everywhere i go, everything i see, i look at women and wonder if they are into it, anything tangible i size up for D/s play even if for a second. If i can relate it to D/s i do. I mean we've all talked about things we notice at Home Depot or whatever, but i'm having trouble turning it off. Here's what prompted me to post this, and this is so bad. I go to church today, i usually stand in the back, at the church there is a crying room for kids, with a rest room in it. A woman walks by, has a bag with her, and heads into the bathroom. 5 minutes or so later, she walks out with a small tupperware container with breast milk in it. INSTANTLY i'm thinking, "woah that's kinda hot i wonder if she used a tit pump to get that breast milk out." Then i think, "what the hell is wrong with me i'm at church." And that's just one example, it is like that for me all the time. I mean that wasn't the only time my mind wasn't on D/s during that mass. I constantly have to remind myself during situations to not think about D/s right now. In order for me to not think about D/s i have to be really involved with something, that leaves no room for my mind to think of something else. As soon as i'm done with that task, i think to myself, " haven't though about D/s for like half an hour." I mean it really gets in the way sometimes, and i'm not joking. Am i like way off the deepend here or what?

yes, you are preoccupied, that's for sure.

so much that it gets in your way too often than not? you tell me.

you seem in desparate need of making that your reality.

and I mean desparate.

I wish you the best... _/\_

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 2

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/8/2007 7:51:26 PM

draba

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/22/2006
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I can relate to this. I have found that sometimes I dwell on it. Fortuately, I have shared this with my Mistress. She has helped me learn to cncentrate on other things. I am in graduate school and get very concerned when BDSM distracts me form my work. I tell Mistress and she demands to see me right away. Then she beats my ass and reminds me that she wants an A. She will restrict me from visiting until certain goals are met. With rewards.
But, I can agree with the delima. I once asked another Mistress about this and she said just keep busy to keep your mind occupied. Hope this helps.
Remember, this is supposed to be fun. If it distracts from you daily life and well being, then you need to question yourself.
draba

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 3

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/8/2007 7:58:09 PM

MistressDolly

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Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: draba

I can relate to this. I have found that sometimes I dwell on it. Fortuately, I have shared this with my Mistress.

You don't live d/s together?

(in reply to draba)

Post #: 4

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/8/2007 8:44:03 PM

SLAVEBOY32

Posts: 122
Joined: 2/26/2007
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yes, you are preoccupied, that's for sure.

so much that it gets in your way too often than not? you tell me.

you seem in desparate need of making that your reality.

and I mean desparate.

I wish you the best... _/\_

If this was something new, i might say yeah i haven't got any in a while so it is on my mind alot. This is nothing new for me, i've been this way for over 15 years, whether in a live together relationship, whether single, or anything inbetween. i mean if iwas in such desperate, and i mean desperate need of it being reality, why doesn't it slow down when i'm in a LTR? i may not always talk about it or say something out loud, but in just about any situation it flashes through my head way too often. it doesn't stop me from doing things, or even interrupt me, it just seems odd that i relate so many thoughts to it.

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 5

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 12:11:54 AM

MiladyAngelique

Posts: 107
Joined: 8/11/2006
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hehehe,

I went into Big W (think walmart) the other day to get some screws and they had these hooks there and they were nice and pretty big and all I could think of was these would work wonderfully to restrain someone, whether by screwing them into the timber frame of my bed or on the wall.

But yes even at work I stop and wonder if that person is into bdsm etc.

never thought of it while in church but hey I sit in the middle and we dont have parents rooms

Angel

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 6

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 7:53:03 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
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OK I'm going to out myself here.
I've spent 30 out of my 43 years being VERY active in church.
Since I hit puberty I have to make a concious and diligent effort to not crotch watch in church. I also have been very distracted when women in the choir facing the congregation don't realize you can see right up their skirts and are flashing their panties innocently (lol or not so innocently).
What I've decided for myself long ago is God knows me into the center of my being.
If I'm in a dungeon, in my bed at home, in church or any place for that matter God's spirit lives in me always.
My actions and thoughts in all places affect me the same.
Though I'm not always proud of my thoughts I think weather I have them in church or in the middle of the woods it's the same thing.
suzanne

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 7

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 8:18:42 AM

TigressFL

Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
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I must say that I frequently think of various kinky things. I find that I do not look at anything the same way as I did before I became aware of my dominant nature and my kinks. It also does not matter if I am single or with someone. As a single, I still engage in kink because luckily I do have people willing to be subjected to my torture <ewg> and to serve me when they are around me. In addition, I find that I am always "working on myself" in terms of being a better person and continuing to prepare my household and myself for a slave. I am always learning new things about myself and things I want to do. I attend many BDSM related public functions and I have many kinky friends. I am buying new toys and tools, preparing to turn my new garage into a dungeon and working on techniques and new skills all the time. None of it causes issues in my life in any shape or fashion; it is simply part of who I am and what I like to do. Unless your constant thoughts are causing issues in your life, I would not worry about it. Awareness brings about many changes in most people. Good luck!

Tigress~FL

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 8

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 8:25:40 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
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How is getting a hard on over a woman expressing breast milk related to d/s?

_____________________________

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Post #: 9

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 8:49:25 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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I'm going guess that you are fairly new to BDSM, Slaveboy32. I'm guessing active in any sort of scene for less than 5 years.

I think the newest of things often help us see similar things around us all the time.

One of the good things about BDSM, especially if you think about issues of consent and getting to know yourself, is that it can make us aware of power and authority around us. At first it may seem like everyone is into it or we may wish they were.

I think as we get more experience and we get to know ourselves more what we see around isn't Ds so much as survival and inequalities and thoughtlessness. We start to see how little people think about what they do and how much they just float along.

That might make us angry for a while. How dare those clueless people be doing things that look like what we do? Then we get rants about how the popularity of BDSM or the commericalization of it is making it less than some "good old days". People often look for "historical" models in this stage I think.

As we spend more time on this journey we start to let go of those feelings too and realize we don't have to find BDSM in the world around us if we are building our families and partnerships to benefit everyone involved.

After a while we can see that dog collar on the cute boy for what it really is: fashion statement. If it gives us a secret thrill, nice. If not, we just move along.

So don't worry about feeling like you see it all around you. I think it's a necessary stage on this trip of self-discovery and growth.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 10

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 8:58:12 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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My distraction level like the one you talk about is directly related to when I got my last "fix." I start to read into things more, see BDSM symbolism in areas unrelated, look at men like meat, etc. if I haven't scratched the itch in awhile.
Akasha

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(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 11

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 12:12:37 PM

SLAVEBOY32

Posts: 122
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

Interesting, very mixed answers.

Milady, you are just off the deep end, i mean really, perverted thoughts while in WalMArt...whoever heard of such a thing!

onestandingstill, your response is great and helps me alot.

Jasmyn, i didn't say got a hard on, i simply had a kinky thought pass through my head at what i felt was an inappropriate time, and breast milk does nothing for me, but, seeing the breast milk, instantly made me think, she could have used a tit pump, i associated the tit pump with other fun toys.

tammyjo, a really do appreciate the reassurance thoughts, but tnot too sure we are on the same plane. I am expressing concern about this, because as i mentioned earlier in the thread, this is not new for me. I knew i was interested in this at a really young age, but thought i must be just weird and figured id never tell anyone about it. At about age 10 through different avenues, i started to realize, there were other people into this "sort of thing". I started researching D/s at the local library right away, and it grew from there. Had my first r/t play when i was just out of highschool, and since 20 years old i have known i can not be with someone unless she is dominant. With that being said, i do often wonder, and coincidentally was just talking about this with a Domme friend last night, i am typically involved in LTRs. Every Domme i have ever been with whether it is one year together, or 5 years, again and again tells me D/s and sex is on my mind too much. If we play, typically my mind is clear for about half a day, but i'm typically back to my old self and preoccupied with it later on that day, or at most by the next day. I pretty much know that i can't share with my SOs how often i think about it. So that in itself sort of alarms me.

Tigress, the only time they seem to cause a problem, is in a situation like i just mentioned, where i stop myself from bringing it up cause i'm told i think about it too much. Otherwise it doesn't really affect anything.

AAkasha, it's been 3 months for me since the last fix and i think all of us are like you described. But like i mentioned, even after a fix, i'm usually right back to thinking and desiring it next day. Not sure if this is off the scale so to speak or not.

Which makes me wonder, how long are people involved in this lifestyle, usually content for after getting a "fix".

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 12

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 1:33:35 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32
...... i mean if iwas in such desperate, and i mean desperate need of it being reality, why doesn't it slow down when i'm in a LTR?

Maybe because you haven't found the type of D/s relationship that is right for you. Maybe you've been unfulfilled in your former LTRs and that's why it never slows down. (?)

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 13

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 1:35:45 PM

SLAVEBOY32

Posts: 122
Joined: 2/26/2007
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interesting thought, Mistress Dolly, gonna think about that.

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Post #: 14

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 1:38:44 PM

MistressDolly

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Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32

interesting thought, Mistress Dolly, gonna think about that.

always glad to help if you need.

edited to add: with helping "thoughts". lol. :o
lol

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 4/9/2007 1:40:02 PM >

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 15

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 1:58:53 PM

SLAVEBOY32

Posts: 122
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

always glad to help if you need.

edited to add: with helping "thoughts". lol. :o
lol

Nice backpedal/recovery there...lmao

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 16

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 2:19:04 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32
A woman walks by, has a bag with her, and heads into the bathroom. 5 minutes or so later, she walks out with a small tupperware container with breast milk in it. INSTANTLY i'm thinking, "woah that's kinda hot i wonder if she used a tit pump to get that breast milk out."

That's not too bad. Now if you had said that you were wondering if she would walk out with a water bottle with lemonade in it.....

;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 17

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 2:37:53 PM

Unrepentant1

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/25/2006
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I cant help feeling a lot is to do with attitude. A relationship in the vanilla sense would take work, so in the BDSM sense one would presume it is tougher, but the rewards are worth all the effort.

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 18

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 2:59:22 PM

SLAVEBOY32

Posts: 122
Joined: 2/26/2007
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ROFL sea, damn i'm impressed, not too many people can crack me up that much on this site.

(in reply to Unrepentant1)

Post #: 19

RE: Now concentrate..... - 4/9/2007 4:23:11 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Maybe what you need isn't a "fix" -- maybe you need to consider if you should be looking for a long term relationship that incorporates Ds and SM or bondage regularly into the dynamics of the relationship itself.

I don't really get the "fix" idea. I might have creative ideas, I might feel intense, but I'm getting what I really need and want from my BDSM relationship every single day.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)

Post #: 20

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