Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me?

Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (Full Version)

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SubmissiveGirl85 -> Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 12:52:04 AM)
Ok, I am so confused. Lately the only when I can achieve an orgasm when masturbating is by thinking about this one fantasy. I have noticed in the last couple of years, my fantasies of humiliation and degredation have become more and more extreme... But this is pushing it even for me. ~~The Fantasy~~ I am laying hog tied and gagged naked by my Master's feet in the living room. All of his friends are over laughing and watching TV and drinking. They all continue to use me as an ashtry. First flicking their ashes on me, and then putting the cigarettes out on me. Then, one of Master's friends decideds he wants to use me. He pulls my ass into the air, but loses his erection. The only way he is able to get it back up is by taking my Master's cigarette and putting it out on me on my lips (down there [;)] ). My Master and everyone cheers him on and laughs while he uses and abuses me. When he's done, they all take turns peeing on me. Now, I like to think I'm a pretty normal person - but I'm really having a hard time wrapping my mind around what my mind seems to be into... My questions are, to those more experienced than I, is it normal to have fantasies about sex acts that are much more extreme then you would ever be willing to participate in in real life? And if I'm having this fantasy, does it mean that I do want to do it "for real"? The fantasy I described, is it considered "safe" play? I mean, are their general rules among the BDSM community (not just here online) that are accepted as what is ok and not ok to do? Is something like cigarette burning considered a "no no"? Secondly, if I ever did consider doing this in real life, and I found a man to act this out with me, would it be safe to play with someone who is willing/turned on himself by this kind of sadism? Is there danger to me in the sense that he might get off on pushing me further (i.e. G*d forbid getting off on killing me?) I hope no one takes offense to my questions - I just don't know what to do... [sm=ofcourse.gif] Sometimes what I fantasize about scares me... Thanks everyone!!

canupleaseme -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 1:10:28 AM)
I think we all have fantasies that sometimes can be shocking even to ourselfs. Thats why they are fantasies. What you described isnt the most shocking thing Ive ever heard of that someone has actually done so I dont think your fantasy is that warped lol Personally I think when it came down to it having a cigarette put out on my "lips" would in reality be way to painful, but some people enjoy that. I think you will get loads of different opinions as to whether or not that is wrong or a no no to do but at the end of the day its down to you really. I wouldnt engage in such an extreme with someone i didnt know extremely well or trusted, and then there is the whole other issue of knowing his friends can be trusted. As you said you dont want a situation to get out of control. I have a reacurring fantasy that helps me get off. I know its something I will never do in reality but I enjoy having a good ole play with myself about it. Sometimes fantasies are best left as they are just fantasies. I think sometimes we want it to be real because it feels so good in our minds. Maybe this could work out as a real time experience for you but I would be really careful who I played this one out with and maybe tame it down a bit with the fag burns (well i would ). I remeber telling my friend once when I was drunk about a fantasy I had and she was appaled that I would even consider doing it (strap on sex) A few drinks later she told me that she often fantasised about farting in her boyfriends face (seriously) That scared me more lol !!!!

lippyangelicsub -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 1:13:46 AM)
hi submissivegirl85 i am not experienced nor an authority on anything but aren't fantasies supposed to be erm wild n wonderful simply because they are fantasies and we feel safer from scensor from others with what goes on in our heads? Truthfully it doesnt sound that sadistic to me...but then i might be slightly odd in the head.....i do wonder myself. Wouldn't it be safe to say that you would only do this with someone you had ultimate trust in, and wouldn't He as your Master keep you safe and know where to draw the line\|? lippy

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 7:02:09 AM)
Who cares if fantasies are safe or real or appropriate? They are fantasies! Get coked up, slash a few chicks throats, run down a few little ones and climb Mt Everest in your mind if that's what gets you going. Now in reality- cigarette burns are certainly known and occur between people, but it's not as common as spanking. The issue with making any of this into real life is a sense of ethics- I don't want to be anywhere near an unethical sadist at any time of the year. But I'm fine doing plenty of stuff with someone ethical. http://www.collarchat.com/m_501892/mpage_2/key_fantasy/tm.htm#502582 Do you always want to act on your wilder fantasies? http://www.collarchat.com/m_746620/mpage_1/key_fantasy/tm.htm#747037 Which sexual fantasies should you act out?

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 7:06:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Who cares if fantasies are safe or real or appropriate? They are fantasies! Get coked up, slash a few chicks throats, run down a few little ones and climb Mt Everest in your mind if that's what gets you going. LOL...I swear you need to do an advice column for the vanilla masses that would cause seizures when they read your stuff.

sleazybutterfly -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 7:11:17 AM)
It seems like these are the ones I have the most anymore. I am sure we have all had some we would never act out for real, but in some ways wish we had the guts (at least I do). Some things are better left in your head, I have learned that over the years.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 7:18:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain LOL...I swear you need to do an advice column for the vanilla masses that would cause seizures when they read your stuff. LOL well I don't want to be insensitive. Before I got into bdsm I was freaked out by my rape fantasies. I know the feeling of wondering what your mind is capable of and wondering what that means about you. For me I realized that fantasies are fantasies and as long as I didn't start being out of control of my actions and did a good facsimile of a nice person for the most part, who the heck cares? Leave me to my bliss :) even if bliss isn't quite rainbows and butterflies.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 7:26:31 AM)
Someone called? Seriously, this is just ripe for a delicious mindfuck. Going to steal and twist an idea from John Warren. Not only could I have a group of men burn you with their cigars, you would feel the pain as they snuffed them out on your cunt. There are a few here who have the talent to already know the key upon which the mindfuck rests but if the OP asks me to share it I will.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 7:41:52 AM)
As you yourself noted, fantasies are just that...fantasies. By any definition, they are fantastic exaggerations of what we sometimes wish we could do and, for some, a way of bringing ourselves closer to it. I was speaking with a dominant friend a few days ago and we were discussing this...the idea of how dark and twisted her fantasies have become as she has grown more dominant...though in her case, her fantasies have her cast in the submissive role. They match things that I often used as bedtime stories/mindfucks when we were together a long time ago. My own fantasies are often fueled by taking the things I have read about or seen or discussed with others and laying them down as the foundation of my fantasy and building it. ~chuckles~...then I contemplate just how I would turn it into a mindfuck with the right submissive. [sm=evil.gif]

thetammyjo -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 7:58:19 AM)
Fantasies can be windows into ourselves. You don't have to act them out, you don't have to analyze them, you can just enjoy them. If a fantasy bothers or confuses you, I'd suggest writing it out as you have done and comparing it to other fantasies. My guess is that you will discover common themes in them, the really important aspects and they are probably not the things that distrubed you. I did this and discovered a lot about myself. I discovered my inner voyeaur and my need for control -- it isn't about the activities, extreme or not. Once I figured that out, I could enjoy the fantasies without the concern over whether or not I was getting darker or whatever.

AquaticSub -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 8:03:04 AM)
~Fast Reply~ I really wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. I have my little private dreams about being cut up, kept tied to a bed, being little more then a fucktoy for some demented pervert. But the bottom line is that I'm really not all that interested in doing that in real life. So I enjoy them in my head, but realize that it's only sexy for me in my head. After all, in the real world cuts can lead to stitchs (I hate needles, I hate needles, I hate needles) and being chained to a bed all day is probably pretty boring.

WhipTheHip -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 9:42:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SubmissiveGirl85 ~~The Fantasy~~ I am laying hog tied . . . they all take turns peeing on me. In my estimation fantasies like this are quite normal. Mine are much more extreme. > Now, I like to think I'm a pretty normal person - but I'm really having a hard > time wrapping my mind around what my mind seems to be into... Nothing wrong with having a wild sexual imagination. > My questions are, to those more experienced than I, is it normal to have > fantasies about sex acts that are much more extreme then you would ever > be willing to participate in in real life? Yes, it is quite normal even for vanilla folk. For example, a lot of females have a rape fantasy. But even if it were abnormal, so what? Who does it hurt? > And if I'm having this fantasy, does it mean that I do want to do it "for real"? Only you can answer that. > The fantasy I described, is it considered "safe" play? I have a different view than most. I don't believe play should leave permanent scars on the body. In my estimation this is not sane, but most people into bdsm will disagree with me. > I mean, are their general rules among the BDSM community Not when it comes to things like this. A lot of people in the community engage in edge play which is a lot more extreme. It is my belief that every group is controlled by the most extreme members. This is true of Democrats, Republicans, Christians, Muslims, enviromentalists, animal rights activists, gay rights, vegetarians, etc. I don't believe self-mutilation is sane or healthy. I don't believe any kind of mutilation is sane or healthy. But I need to inform you my view is a small minority view. > Is something like cigarette burning considered a "no no"? I would say, "yes" for the following reason. I allowed a female to do it to me. There was little pain, but it resulted in a surprsingly large very ugly burn that easily could have left a bad scar. It didn't. But knowing what I know now, I wouldn't allow it again or do it to another. Better to use hot wax made for this purpose. BDSM is more fun when done with a partner that has a beautiful body and is not all scarred-up from past "play" sessions. In my book, "play" should not leave permanent scars. > Secondly, if I ever did consider doing this in real life, > and I found a man to act this out with me, would it be > safe to play with someone who is willing/turned on > himself by this kind of sadism? LOL, that is hardly anything compared to many things routinely done. I have the most extreme fantasies you can imagine, and am turned on by many extreme forms of sadism, but I would never do anything that left a permanent scar on anyone. One, I believe it is immoral. And I am not going to do anything immoral just to satisfy a sexual craving. Two, it is an aweful waste of a sub and her unblemished skin. Why cook the goose that lays the golden egg? I see subs as a precious commidity to be preserved intact. I want a sub I can play with again and again, not one covered from neck to knee with unsightly, scars. For me, a scar is a turn-off. > Is there danger to me in the sense that he might > get off on pushing me further (i.e. G*d forbid > getting off on killing me?) You might be in danger of him pushing you further in other directions you might learn to enjoy. There is very little danger of finding someone who will kill you. There is great danger in finding someone who will get you sexually aroused by mutilating practices. Here are things some in the community consider sane: sticking needles through breasts or other parts of the body, sewing the vagina closed, and other such extreme activities. Many Doms will slowly try to push your limits till you are ready and willing to have such things done to you. It is my belief that not everything done in the name of pleasure is sane just because there is no damage to a person's health. I am an extreme sadist who finds ways to CONSENSUALLY push pain limits without inflicting scars or engage in extreme activities like those mentioned. The greatest danger you have is having some guy restrain you, then going beyond your agreed to limits. This can be worse than death. So it is important you play with people you can trust. Get to know the people you play with before you play with them. Here are some other recommendations: Have someone you trust oversee first time play sessions. Put your limits in writing and have your play partner sign it and keep it in a place he can't get to. Limit a first play session to one or two hours. This is a horror story I hear over and over again. Some female lets a guy tie her up. He starts whipping her as hard as he can, and this goes on for hour after hour thinking this is what females into bdsm like. Play with a safe word. I know what subs and bottoms like, because I am a switch, and know what I like. In fact, I would start out very, very slow. Better to find a guy willing to take things very slowly than push and rush you into a bad scene. Cheers, Michael

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 9:55:33 AM)
Fantasies are just that... Some like a way to explore the darker side of thier nature and fantasies are a safe way to do it. Some fanatsies are simply too dangerous in some fashion to actually play out. Nothing wrong with having fantasies and no just because you have them does not mean you will seek to enact them. Many have rape fantasies yet never go beyond the masturabatory stage. Being objectified as you have described is a common fantasy for having participated in something tabooo but not havng to take the responsibility for it. Enjoy Ross ©º°¨¨°º©

WhiplashSmile -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 10:31:35 AM)
OK, you are having this fantasy. I would try breaking down the different parts of it and trying them in small steps. Watersports for instance? Have you actually had any piss all over you body yet? If not, you should consider trying it first. Has your master shared you with others yet? If not, you might want to try this out to see how well it goes over. In regards to cigarette play, have somebody flick their ashes on you, and perhaps make an agreement to take a burn on some part of your body beside your pussy lips. Here's a few thing about cigerettee play, you can come near the skin with it, just to feel the heat. But not burn you. Somebody can hold it very close to your body and it will burn you. Somebody can quickly put the smoke out on your body, it will burn. But will not be a deep burn. If somebody takes their good old time putting it out on you, expect for there to be a deep burn. Deeper burns require more time to heal. Generally scars from light to medium burns disappear or fade away. Deeper Burns will leave scars that will take years to fade... If I was you, I'd find somebody who has experience in cigerettee play, and somebody you trust. Determine what spots you are or are not willing to take a burn. This way you will know what you are in for, before having it hit your lips. Also, it will make a difference if it's down on the inside or outside of your lips. You should be prepared to deal with a sore that will need to be treated just like any other burn. The thing in your fantasy, I bet you are not thinking about, is knowing the amount of pain you will be taking. If you can take a burn on some other place on your body. You will be able to know what you'd be in for on your lips. You might be rethinking your fantasy really quick or not after actually taking a burn for real on some other part of your body. In terms of your Masters Friends having to burn you to get hard again, well I don't know how realistic that one it. You might want to simply be used for having ashes flicked, and have people threaten to put smokes out on you, and play with your mind about burning you, while they hold the ends of their smokes close to your body enough so you can feel the heat. They will need to know what the fuck they are doing.. You will find that this can leave some very light burns on you, that do not leave scares. Think of it like being a really bad sun burn in a few spots, at best. It does sound like you are wanting to up the levels of your play in your mind a little. You can either keep it as a fantasy, act out parts of your fantasy, play act out the fantasy without actually getting burned, or go the whole way with it. It's not life threatening, however you have to be prepared for the level of aftercare you will need, should you ever go through with it. Some people reserve such deeper fantasies for somebody they are with in a devoted long term relationship. Meaning if you are going to go through so much pain, you'd better be getting something more out of it. If you know what I mean.

Jasmyn -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 10:58:02 AM)
quote: Someone called? Seriously, this is just ripe for a delicious mindfuck. Going to steal and twist an idea from John Warren. Not only could I have a group of men burn you with their cigars, you would feel the pain as they snuffed them out on your cunt. There are a few here who have the talent to already know the key upon which the mindfuck rests but if the OP asks me to share it I will. Mindfuck ...drool ... it's the reason I do what it is I do ... and why those I do it to...keep cumming back for more .. To the OP, your fantasy is, as Michael says ...just ripe for a delicious mindfuck

Olias -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 11:10:57 AM)
This all sounds very familiar to me. As a comparatively inexperienced sub male I still have some reservations about certain, more extreme, acts that I may be made to perform for a lady on the grounds that I may be physically unwell however, it is these things that I find myself fantasising about and becoming very turned on. Perhaps it's because (& help me out here) it's only partly the actually actions and partly the fact that you have no choice. With me I lean heavily toward the many aspects of body worship it's only about 40% of the thrill to perform the acts & the remaining 60% is in the knowledge that I am simply there for the lady's pleasure & whatever she orders then I must do.Beyond that is the extreme & intense excitement derived from the thought that I may be told to do something that I really don't want to & knowing that I will do it anyway. An ideal example is that mentioned earlier by "canupleaseme" of a lady farting in her slave's face & whilst I instinctively find this gross it is something that the prospect off excites me immensely. Is there anyone else in the north-east of england on this site??

SusanofO -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 12:29:22 PM)
I've had quite few sado-maso fantasies I know I will probably never act out. So what? I still enjoy having them. I don't think it menas you are "psycho" or that there is anything wrong with you. In fact, if they are really, really extreme, then if you were willing to act on them - then I'd think there was a reason to worry, for safety reasons. Just my two cents. - Susan

KaineD -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 1:05:05 PM)
As a newbie, the question of what should and should not remain a fantasy is something I think about frequently. SubmissiveGirl85, in my opinion there is nothing extreme about your fantasy. Though, a cigerrete on your "lips" might hurt too much. As for myself, I have alot of degredation fantasies. I have fantasies where my slave would lick the toilet rim. I guess in real life that wouldn't be too hygenic.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 1:23:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Someone called? Seriously, this is just ripe for a delicious mindfuck. Going to steal and twist an idea from John Warren. Not only could I have a group of men burn you with their cigars, you would feel the pain as they snuffed them out on your cunt. There are a few here who have the talent to already know the key upon which the mindfuck rests but if the OP asks me to share it I will. SubmissiveGirl85 Please ask him to share!!

Wildfleurs -> RE: Sadism Fantasy that is SO UNLIKE me? (4/10/2007 2:21:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SubmissiveGirl85 Ok, I am so confused. Lately the only when I can achieve an orgasm when masturbating is by thinking about this one fantasy. I have noticed in the last couple of years, my fantasies of humiliation and degredation have become more and more extreme... But this is pushing it even for me. ~~The Fantasy~~ I am laying hog tied and gagged naked by my Master's feet in the living room. All of his friends are over laughing and watching TV and drinking. They all continue to use me as an ashtry. First flicking their ashes on me, and then putting the cigarettes out on me. Then, one of Master's friends decideds he wants to use me. He pulls my ass into the air, but loses his erection. The only way he is able to get it back up is by taking my Master's cigarette and putting it out on me on my lips (down there [;)] ). My Master and everyone cheers him on and laughs while he uses and abuses me. When he's done, they all take turns peeing on me. Now, I like to think I'm a pretty normal person - but I'm really having a hard time wrapping my mind around what my mind seems to be into... My questions are, to those more experienced than I, is it normal to have fantasies about sex acts that are much more extreme then you would ever be willing to participate in in real life? And if I'm having this fantasy, does it mean that I do want to do it "for real"? The fantasy I described, is it considered "safe" play? I mean, are their general rules among the BDSM community (not just here online) that are accepted as what is ok and not ok to do? Is something like cigarette burning considered a "no no"? Secondly, if I ever did consider doing this in real life, and I found a man to act this out with me, would it be safe to play with someone who is willing/turned on himself by this kind of sadism? Is there danger to me in the sense that he might get off on pushing me further (i.e. G*d forbid getting off on killing me?) I hope no one takes offense to my questions - I just don't know what to do... [sm=ofcourse.gif] Sometimes what I fantasize about scares me... Thanks everyone!! I think that fantasy is totally hot. And yes I think it could be done in real life, but I'd be careful about who I did it with (I don't think its something to do early on in a relationship). C~

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