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emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 11:03:00 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
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I know that I am bad keeping up with my threads, but this is something I was curious if others ever noticed about themselves, on either side of the whip.

For me there is a huge connection between my spiritual/emotional energies and my pain tolerance levels. The more negative energy that surrounds and in part, is within me, seems to raise up the wuss status. When there is more of a positive charge things seem to level back out to my norm.

Does anyone else ever notice things along these lines?

lee

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I am so not right, that I left..

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 11:06:56 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Mostly with my partner. Frankly I don't want to scene if the energy is negative and not going to be productive for us both at all, but I do know that when he's happy/filled/focused, he can handle a lot more than when he's distracted/tired/anxious.

When I first started topping, I always felt like I needed a little boost of service to get my fill and THEN I'd be able to put my attentions elsewhere.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 11:09:57 AM

Celeste43

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Of course. If I'm already stressed out and muscles are tight, I can't take anything, including stuff that is usually wonderful. The better shape I am in beforehand, the better the play is for both of us. And him also, there have been times when he's thought that play might relax him but it doesn't and then I can feel he's not enjoying himself. And when he isn't having fun, I can't.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 11:20:28 AM

leakylee

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Thank you LA.

You hit the nail on the head with that total package breakdown. It just amazes me at how much it all can impact how we express ourself, even in this matter.

lee

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 11:23:18 AM

leakylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Of course. If I'm already stressed out and muscles are tight, I can't take anything, including stuff that is usually wonderful. The better shape I am in beforehand, the better the play is for both of us. And him also, there have been times when he's thought that play might relax him but it doesn't and then I can feel he's not enjoying himself. And when he isn't having fun, I can't.

Celeste,
I hadnt even thought about the physical expression of this. that makes a huge amount of sense.

Thank you
lee

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I am so not right, that I left..

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 11:34:31 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
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From: new york state
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I was just thinking about a time when a good friend gave me a paddling because I was close to having a panic attack. I had to get on the road to drive a ways home, and didn't have time for a break down, so he just picked up the paddle and gave me a few good wacks and it centered me so I could go home.

I think if the negative energy is between the two people doing the s/m, then yes, the play only intensifies the negativity. But, I find as a masochist, it can also clarify energy and neutralize bad stuff.

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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 12:02:19 PM

leakylee

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Joined: 7/2/2004
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Hey Gypsy,
I can understand and relate to some degree. When I was dealing with a really really stressful thing a few years ago. There was love and support coming from my family unit, and I had the support of Ms D. But I swung up to see her while I was home for a day, and the scene we did really really acted as an outlet.

So while the situation itself was negative, that scene, her support really acted as a reset for me. It sounds like it was something similar for you.

thank you
lee

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I am so not right, that I left..

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 1:04:51 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
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From: new york state
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Yes, thats about it. "Reset" is the perfect word for it.

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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 1:40:31 PM

Devilslilsister

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i agree on the reset. Yet at the same time, we engaged in things when i've been "off" and its difficult at first but eventually it all goes smoothly. Just gives alittle bit extra to go through before it goes smoothly

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 2:01:04 PM

leakylee

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let me ask you this, when you have been "off", was it just within that space and time, or was it more resounding through out your whole world? not so much a moment, but the whole world being a bit off.

i hope that makes some sense.

lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

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RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 2:07:49 PM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
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I don't want to scene with anyone when I am angry, that could lead to a dangerous situation.
If I am angry, that is usually a good time for a pedicure or foot worship.

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 11

RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 5:39:22 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
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When I'm in a negative place, my focus is upon more sensual scene play. Where I have my submissive give me long deep body massages, perhaps some body worship and the scene play is directed towards relaxing and unwinding. The last thing I feel like doing is picking up a flogger.

One the flip side when I know my submissive is in a negative place, I insist upon giving them a long deep body massage. It's a fetish of mine to turn somebody into silly putty beneath my fingers anyways. Nothing like the sight of sub droll all over the pillow. The last thing I want to do, is pick up the flogger and whip their ass. It's something that does not sit right in my mind about doing that. Hell, if anything I want to do everything in my power to get them out of the negative place. Be it telling jokes, making them laugh. I will engage into deep conversation about what is exactly on their mind, talk about things. Basically back off from being so Dom... but still maintain my Dom assertiveness. If there is anything they share with me that I have control over, or can take control over to get them out of the negative place, I'm all over it.

This way everything can be back to normal again.

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 4/10/2007 5:43:50 PM >

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 12

RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 9:42:27 PM

aurora31

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Joined: 8/18/2005
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I find that when I am in a negative place crave a good beating and that my pain tolerances are very high at that time. This is the time I need to really be pushed as far as I can go. To be able to let it all go. Afterward I am in a much better place.

aurora

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 13

RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/10/2007 9:53:09 PM

WhiplashSmile

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Joined: 6/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aurora31
I find that when I am in a negative place crave a good beating and that my pain tolerances are very high at that time. This is the time I need to really be pushed as far as I can go. To be able to let it all go. Afterward I am in a much better place.
aurora

If I were your Dom and knew this, I'd be all over it. Just goes to prove that
different folks like different strokes.

(in reply to aurora31)

Post #: 14

RE: emotions and our sado/maso selves - 4/11/2007 10:44:25 AM

leakylee

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Joined: 7/2/2004
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It is interesting how we all react differently to different situations and stimulus..

Thank you both,
lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 15

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