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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:38:00 AM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

separate from real life....there you might have a point....except then i find myself asking...why cant real life be lighthearted and fun?....and ....and what is real life?

Sometimes life is light and fun.  But when that becomes its chief purpose, its goal, then I think you are headed for trouble.  Life is not always light or fun... and those somber moments, those heavy moments are at least as important.  Some of the finest moments in human history occurred precisely when life became least fun, least light.  I look around and see a world increasingly pursuing only the light and fun and I find is saccharin and unpalatable.  A steady diet of such sugars cannot be healthy, we need our bitters too.


agreed. there is nothing wrong with fun and play, however if that is what your life is "about", if that is the focus of one's existence, then to me that is a life without meaning, enlightenment, growth or purpose.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:39:26 AM   
Padriag


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

no mystical aspect?...none?

For me, no... for you, only you can say. 

_____________________________

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:40:17 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
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From: Maui
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

why do you feel that roleplaying is automatically involved in bdsm or D/s? trust me, for many of us role play has no place in our lifestyles.


i am curious and would like to explore this more with you if you are open....is it the word role, or play, that has no place in your life?

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:41:28 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		to nobody in particular....:

why cant suffering be part of your game?

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:44:57 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

why do you feel that roleplaying is automatically involved in bdsm or D/s? trust me, for many of us role play has no place in our lifestyles.


i am curious and would like to explore this more with you if you are open....is it the word role, or play, that has no place in your life?


it is the term "roleplay" that has no place in my life. my Master and i do not "play" any roles, we simply are who we are, our relationship is what it is, etc. it is not a game, and it is not make-believe.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:50:32 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
agreed. there is nothing wrong with fun and play, however if that is what your life is "about", if that is the focus of one's existence, then to me that is a life without meaning, enlightenment, growth or purpose.

What about someone like me?  I consider the focus of my existence to be me- and I intend to be a joyful happy person.

I think it's important to realize you (general) cannot IGNORE the serious/dark/not fun part of existence just to be happy.  Ignorance really isn't bliss.

However, one shouldn't go the other direction either and completely ignore the fun/light/enjoyment.

And personally I do think we should choose fun and happiness at every possible opportunity.  That doesn't mean we ignore work, toil, hard short term crap- it means we balance it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:51:24 AM   
gypsygrl


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From: new york state
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quote:

gypy...can you share what one of those implicit rules are....?


The rules vary by activity.  Some times I have to make them up.  lol

If I go to the grocery store, I start with the meat section and scan the managers specials and then organize the rest of the shopping trip around what I find.  If there's nothing on special, I think about what's in the freezer which are basically manager's specials from previous weeks.  I don't know who the manager is, and I've never spoke a word to him but he decides what's for dinner every night.  The rule is "only buy meat if its on special" and everything else follows. I've got that game down pat, and it makes dinner time fun and easy.  I don't have to make any decisions.  The game itself is simple, because I pretty much made it up myself and the manager isn't really playing so I don't have to worry about him. And thank god for that!  The week I got veal cutlets on sale for like 50 cents each was hard because I didn't know how I was going to get my um's to eat it.  So, I breaded and fried it and told them it was pork.

If I'm at the gas station, I follow gas station rules.  I pump my gas and when I go inside to pay, I exchange pleasantries with the cashier without getting into a detailed conversation about something heavy and deep.   I don't bring up religion or politics because that would be against the rules, but its ok to discuss the weather especially if its very hot, or very cold.

If I'm at church for some reason, I follow church rules.  I pay attention to the service, even though I don't believe in god and never interupt the minister.  Even if I disagree with his interpretation of the bible, I keep quiet about it because, its against the rules to ask questions in church.

When me and my ex got a divorce, we had to change rules.  For a long time we operated under "married people rules" which worked for us as long as we were married.  But, once we separated, they didn't work any more.  We had to learn "divorced people rules."  I had to figure out how to stop being a wife and start being an ex.

In D/s interactions, alot of the early work is learning  the rules.  Sometimes the D will provide them, other times he won't.   Usually, he'll provide some of them and not others.  So, early in an interaction, I concentrate on figuring out the rules and providing my rules.  If the interaction gets beyond the initial stages, everything becomes a matter of working within those rules to further the interaction.  The rules provide the structure for the interaction.  As a submissive, my first rule is to give priority to the other persons rules and keep mine to a minimum.







_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:51:36 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i see

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:55:58 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
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From: new york state
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

to nobody in particular....:

why cant suffering be part of your game?


I think for masochists of a certain stripe it is a part of the game.  Even the whole point of playing. :)


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:56:07 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i loved you post gypsy girl....i esp loved the part wher the manager picks out your dinner every night!!!

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 11:10:18 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		game = play

serious = work

Work and play are antonyms according to thesaurus.com. Since a lot of people think that life is serious, it therefor is inappropriate to call it a game. Some, however, see that we get old when we stop playing and not the other way around.

As for religion, Master Steve's crew has often been called a cult. ;-)

Master Fire, Cult Member


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 11:42:55 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Not much to add...I take wiitwd seriously but I also find fun and enjoyment in it.  From one stance, it can be looked at as a game just as life can, but in other ways...the very real consequences of our actions, whether we consider the action to be part of the gamesmanship or not, whether good or bad.  Those have to be dealt with.  If they are good...hallelujah and pass the cocktail sauce.
But when they are bad...if you have chosen this day to play "bratty little submissive" and it has wound up causing your dominant confusion, anger and pain and maybe even a so-slight-as-to-be-imperceptible-but there-nevertheless belief in his notion that he can dominate you well...then how much of a game is it at that time?

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 12:09:20 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline 		Greetings
 
For some, if they wish to look upon it as a game, that is their choice and I respect it. However, for others, it is more than just a game.
 
For myself, I think of games as having an end, and then starting again. ( You play a game, it ends, you start another one ) My slavery does not have a switch that responds to that. It does not start, finish, and then start again.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 12:44:54 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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quote:

Master Steve's crew has often been called a cult. ;-)


well to be perfectly honest fire, i would shave my head and sell daisys at the airport if he wanted me to...

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 12:47:58 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		to me CD that is the part of the game where you go directly to jail and do not get to collect your 200 dollars...*grin*

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 12:49:54 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		super point about there being a beginning a middle and an end....thanks



_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to jauntyone)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 1:18:22 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:

Master Steve's crew has often been called a cult. ;-)


well to be perfectly honest fire, i would shave my head and sell daisys at the airport if he wanted me to...


I've got clippers...and a shaving fetish...you bring the daisies.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 3:17:46 PM   
BrutalDemon


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress


             what is so threatening referring to the bdsm lifestyle as a game?

             why cant it be a highly complex game, that you play your whole life?

             how does it being a game, devalue the person, and the persons experience of it?



Most people would define "a game" as something like...

"A competition, where the objective is to 'win' at the expense of your opponents."

How would you feel, personally, if your partner approached your relationship like that? Where he tried to score points against you, and inflict some kind of forfeiture or penalty against you, just because it's fun?

Doesn't sound very nice, does it, when you put it that way?

That's why I don't like bdsm being refered to as "a game" at least.

Sure, you can play at, and maybe even enjoy, bdsm casually... just as you can in any other kind of relationship... if you're both clear about your intentions up front. But because some of the things we do involve a LOT of trust, I'm not convinced you gain build that trust properly, without some sort of emotional investment.

You can run any amount of Background Checks on someone you want to... those won't tell you wether or not they're trustworthy, all they prove is that they haven't been caught... or even if they've been caught, and just not had the relevant records passed on to whatever agency is running the check!

I want to handcuff you, put a gag in your mouth, and drip hot wax on your nipples... for you to trust me enough to put you in that kind of vulnerable position, you'd have to get to KNOW me, somehow. Once you're voluntarily cuffed and gagged, you have no way of knowing I won't then toss you into the trunk of my car, drive you out into the desert, and wear your face as a mask while I do my little 'kookie dance'... unless you have made that emotional investment.

And what do we call people that play games with other peoples emotions?


That's right... politicians

_____________________________

Old enough to know better... but still young enough to not care

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 3:19:12 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		 i have a shaving fettish too....barber chairs with restriants,  strops, straight edges and beaver hair brushes with lavendermilk hard soap....mmmm...never did it yet ...but one day ill find an old barber chair in a thrift store....



_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 3:20:30 PM   
BrutalDemon


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

to nobody in particular....:

why cant suffering be part of your game?


Any insensitive arsewipe can make another person suffer... but you have to care about your 'victim' to make sure they enjoy their suffering. It's that emotional investment again... it works both ways.

_____________________________

Old enough to know better... but still young enough to not care

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 40
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