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Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 10:20:34 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
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Don't worry if you are not normal. Normal is not all
it's cracked up to be. There is no right way or wrong
way. There is no one right way to be a good dom
or right way to be a good submissive.   What might
make a good dom for one sub, might make a bad
dom for another and vice versa.

It is all about two people meshing like gears.
We all have protrusions that push others away.
Some protrusions we may have retool. Subs
and bottoms should not think they have to accept
every protrusion. Of course, it's nice if they
try to accept that which they can without
experiencing resentment.

As a sub or bottom you have an absolute right to
negotiate what is and what is not acceptable. You
have a right to be loved and feel loved.   If you are
a female, you can find whatever you are looking for.

The only thing that matters is the acceptance of your
partner.   Every good relationship is about compromise
and flexibility. Dommes or Doms who insist it is their
way or the highway are just narcisistic, selfish, and
self-centered. Subs and bottoms have needs that ought to
be met. Each person is different.   Sub and bottoms
should not feel bad expecting their Dommes and Doms
to meet their needs and show a willing to compromise.
Totally one-sided relationships where one side
is uncompromising rarely succeed.   Good Dommes and
Doms know they need to keep their subs and bottoms
happy or they won't have them long.   The key is
compromise. Just because you are sub or bottom
does not mean you are the one who always has to
compromise. On the other hand, there are some
subs or bottoms who expect their Dommes or Doms
to do all the compromising. The more both
parties in a relationship are flexible and willing
to compromise, the greater the chance that
relationship has of succeeding.

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 4/11/2007 10:25:41 AM >

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 10:21:31 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i have always thought of worry as an inept and counterproductive use of the imagination.

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 2

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 10:23:44 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Hmmm I personally refuse to live my life any way other than my way.

If that makes me narcissistic, selfish, and self-centered, I'm ok with that.

Your post seems to be saying a lot of nothing (compromise, but don't compromise too much & live like you want but not completely just like you want)- or a lot of proverbs like:
Live like you want to live, don't be so rigid you can't breath, and don't submit to something just because you're the sub.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/11/2007 10:51:06 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 3

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 10:34:40 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Don't worry if you are not normal. Normal is not all
it's cracked up to be.

& you would know this how?

are you normal? if so, then how would you know what it is to not be normal or if those who identify as not normal would worry that they are not...

or is it that you aren't normal... but then if you aren't how do you come to know normal isn't all it is cracked up to be?

kind of makes one go hummmmmmmmmm

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/11/2007 10:38:40 AM >

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MstrssPassion

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 10:58:08 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Hmmm I personally refuse to life my life any way other than my way. If that makes me narcissistic, selfish, and self-centered, I'm ok with that.

I wish I didn't have such a crush on you.

Some people can get away with almost anything. They never have to compromise because they are beautiful, rich, talented or in high demand for whatever reason. Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Donald Trump, Madonna, drug dealers. Dommes and Doms can get away with a lot, and easily take advantage of a sub by convincing the sub they need to to this or that or they are not being a good sub. But yes, if you don't compromise, you are narcissistic, selfish, and self-centered.

> Your post seems to be saying a lot of nothing (compromise, but don't compromise too much

I wouldn't say that is nothing. I would say that is the key to every good relationship. This is fairly common knowledge, but because of the D/s dynamic some here would like to deny its applicability to doms and subs.

> & live like you want but not completely just like you want)

We all have room to improve. We all need to learn to accomodate others, and not just think about ourselves. Doms and Dommes who just think about themselves have a hard time keeping subs.

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 4/11/2007 11:02:42 AM >

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 11:12:51 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip
But yes, if you don't compromise, you are narcissistic, selfish, and self-centered.

I never said I didn't compromise.

I said I refuse to compromise on being myself and living my life the way I want.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 6

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 11:22:45 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

They never have to compromise because they are beautiful, rich, talented or in high demand for whatever reason.

Why on earth would you think that these kind of people don't compromise? Curious minds would like to know.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 11:28:38 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip.

If you are
a female, you can find whatever you are looking for.

And male subs cannot expect to find what they are looking for?

Dommes or Doms who insist it is their
way or the highway are just narcisistic, selfish, and
self-centered.

What if I like his way better? I know a few Doms who will flat dismiss a sub for trying to get her way all the time, and I can't say I blame them.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 8

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 11:31:35 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip: Some people can get away with almost anything. <snip>
Dommes and Doms can get away with a lot, and easily take advantage of a sub by convincing the sub they need to to this or that or they are not being a good sub.
<snip>
because of the D/s dynamic some here would like to deny its (compromise) applicability to doms and subs.
<snip>

Is this again something you have personal experience in or in doing?

rather dim view on others that you claim to find commonality with.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/11/2007 11:34:09 AM >

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MstrssPassion

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 12:21:30 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip.
If you are a female, you can find whatever you are looking for.

And male subs cannot expect to find what they are looking for?

That's what I hear. I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions that prove the rule.

Dommes or Doms who insist it is their way or the highway are just narcisistic, selfish, and self-centered.

quote:

What if I like his way better?

Does this question need an answer?

> I know a few Doms who will flat dismiss a sub for trying
> to get her way all the time, and I can't say I blame them.

Neither can I. Isn't that exactly what I said? That was
my whole point, that there needs to be give and take even
between Dom and sub. Good relationships are a two-way
street. Smart Doms and Dommes know this.

The easiest way to falsify a statement made by another
is to add the word "all" or "always" to their original
statement. I really can't understand why so many people
do this so often. Truth is nuanced. If you exaggerate,
twist and distort what others say, of course, your
restated version will be wrong.

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 12:23:41 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

They never have to compromise because they are beautiful, rich, talented or in high demand for whatever reason.

Why on earth would you think that these kind of people don't compromise? Curious minds would like to know.

Do I have to answer this?

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 12:29:44 PM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip
The easiest way to falsify a statement made by another
is to add the word "all" or "always" to their original
statement. I really can't understand why so many people
do this so often. Truth is nuanced. If you exaggerate,
twist and distort what others say, of course, your
restated version will be wrong.

I do hope your not saying I or anyone else that has posted to your thread have done this. We are only discussing what you typed. There is no reason to add words to your statements. They speak for themselves so to speak. I have not seen where anyone has done this to you.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 12

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 12:31:48 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip
But yes, if you don't compromise, you are narcissistic, selfish, and self-centered.

I never said I didn't compromise.

I said I refuse to compromise on being myself and living my life the way I want.

I never said I am egotistical or narrcasistic, I just think I'm the smartest person
and the most handsome guy in the world. I never said I'm immoral, I just refuse
to resign my position as an assassin for the Gambino family. Just becaue I refuse
to compromise, just because I don't think I need to improve myself, just because
I live my life the way I want, that mean I'm self-centered and blind to my own
imperfections.

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Post #: 13

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 12:52:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip
I never said I am egotistical or narrcasistic, I just think I'm the smartest person
and the most handsome guy in the world. I never said I'm immoral, I just refuse
to resign my position as an assassin for the Gambino family. Just becaue I refuse
to compromise, just because I don't think I need to improve myself, just because
I live my life the way I want, that mean I'm self-centered and blind to my own
imperfections.

I think you're missing the subtlety I'm getting at.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 14

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 2:37:49 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

LuckyAlbatross wrote:
> I think you're missing the subtlety I'm getting at.

I think you are trying to say we shouldn't have change for
others. We are who we are, and if others don't like it,
tough. I am saying, we should all try our best to change
things about ourselves for the benefit of our significant
other. I think we all need to make some sacrafices.
There needs to be give and take in every relationship.

But hey, if you don't like my answer, you can always
tie me up and whp the shit out of me till I agree with
you.

It is really unfair. No female should have that much
power over any male. The image you post to this
forum drives me crazy.

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Post #: 15

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 2:40:52 PM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Some people can get away with almost anything. They never have to compromise because they are beautiful, rich, talented or in high demand for whatever reason. Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Donald Trump, Madonna, drug dealers.

I'm going to frame that and put it on my wall. Friggin' genuis--just awesome.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 16

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 2:48:52 PM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

Greetings

I debated along time about responding to this thread; trying to find the words that did not sound to egotistical or harsh.

Much of what the OP has posted here I disagree with; but my outlook on my own slavery is different than some.

The OP states that there is no right way or wrong way. I will agree with this. For myself, there is only Master’s way; whether it be right or wrong, matters not. In this house, it really is his way or the highway. And this was something that I was very aware of from the very beginning. ( Granted, Master is quite lenient with me still, but the more I learn, the more strict he becomes in his ways )

As a slave in this relationship, I gave up rights when I begged to become his. In exchange, I am instead given privileges that can be removed at any time he deems necessary; and for any reason.

It is not the acceptance of my partner that is the only thing that matters. The only thing that matters in my slavery to him is that I be obedient, and pleasing. In all ways, and in all things.

And as a side note; Master is in no way narcissistic, selfish or self-centered. He is one of the most generous people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 17

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 7:12:54 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Greetings

I debated along time about responding to this thread; trying to find the words that did not sound to egotistical or harsh.

Much of what the OP has posted here I disagree with; but my outlook on my own slavery is different than some.

The OP states that there is no right way or wrong way. I will agree with this. For myself, there is only Master’s way; whether it be right or wrong, matters not. In this house, it really is his way or the highway. And this was something that I was very aware of from the very beginning. ( Granted, Master is quite lenient with me still, but the more I learn, the more strict he becomes in his ways )

As a slave in this relationship, I gave up rights when I begged to become his. In exchange, I am instead given privileges that can be removed at any time he deems necessary; and for any reason.

It is not the acceptance of my partner that is the only thing that matters. The only thing that matters in my slavery to him is that I be obedient, and pleasing. In all ways, and in all things.

And as a side note; Master is in no way narcissistic, selfish or self-centered. He is one of the most generous people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

I wish you well

melissa

I also don't believe your Master is in any way narcissistic, selfish or self-centered. He probably is one of the most generous people you have ever had the privilege of knowing. Were this not the case, you probably wouldn't be his slave. If he just looked after his own interests, I doubt you would even be with him. You can be 100% obediant to a Master who really cares for you, but make no mistake, whether you realize or not he probably spends a lot of time thinking of your needs, wants and desires. Would you really be with him if your needs, wants and desires went for the most part unfullfilled?

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RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 7:44:39 PM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

Would you really be with him if your needs, wants and desires went for the most part unfullfilled?

Greetings

since you asked me a direct question, I will answer in same.

Yes. I would still be with him. I did not beg to be his so that HE could do things for me.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 19

RE: Be Happy, Don't Worry. - 4/11/2007 7:53:50 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Don't worry if you are not normal. Normal is not all
it's cracked up to be.

& you would know this how?

are you normal? if so, then how would you know what it is to not be normal or if those who identify as not normal would worry that they are not...

or is it that you aren't normal... but then if you aren't how do you come to know normal isn't all it is cracked up to be?

kind of makes one go hummmmmmmmmm

(He's not normal).

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 20

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