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RE: Do you... - 4/11/2007 8:43:26 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

I may not. we will see. I am fully aware of the consequences of releasing control, even temporarily. Thank You


Greetings D1979,
 
May I ask what your hopeful expectations are of this thread?
 
Always,
~curious~

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"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you... - 4/11/2007 9:36:47 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		Sir if she is seeking this then this girl thinks she will not come back.

minnetar

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 4:35:37 AM   
D1979


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		I honestly had no hopeful expectations, just kind of threw it out there to see what I would get. And honestly, I got exactly what I thought I would get.


D

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 4:49:18 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		If you give her to someone else to further her training, she will be trained to follow them.  What you are setting yourself up for is a disaster.  You now get her back (assuming she returns) with someone elses rules trained into her.  You can either follow another masters rules, or you can attempt to retrain her which you were unable to do the first time which was why you gave her up.  If you two are a bad fit, which is what it sounds like, than you are best staying separated and finding someone who can be content with the training you are able to offer. But allowing someone else to train your slave is not like allowing someone else to train your dog. A dog gets a standard set of instructions and things everyone wants them to do. If thats all you want of your slave than thats what you are going to get.  Someone brilliantly able to do generic things that benefit no one specifically. In order for her to serve YOU you have to train her to do so.  No one else can do that.

Good luck
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 4:57:23 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline 		Learning while doing might be your best bet in retaining your sub afterward.  MasterFireMaam said it best.  She wasn't telling you to be a mentor, she was telling you to be a student with a mentor.  While she is finding her soul, you take the time with her and whomever you are lending her to to learn how to train and see if it is something you want.  Allowing her to train via another person's style is not going to help you train her in the long run if you don't know how to train.    

For the record, 27 is no where near late in the game.  Some of us don't get started until we are in our 50's and 60's.

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"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 5:13:43 AM   
D1979


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		Thank You so much.

D

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 5:39:37 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		after reading over the OP's posts a couple times it really looks like the situation is this:

she wants & is going to play the field while she LET'S you believe you still have control.

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MstrssPassion


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 5:52:20 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I'm reminded of a friend of mine, when faced with a dominant that just wouldn't/couldn't see the light so to speak. She wanted out but didn't want to hurt him. He didn't want to let her go and did everything in his power to get her to stay. Evidently he really believed that if she wanted to go and he didn't want her to, that she'd stay.

So...she suggested they take six months to figure out what they wanted.

He agreed to "temporarily release" her for six months. He actually held on to hope for all six of those months and then some.

She forgot him in one (if that long).

juliet


< Message edited by julietsierra -- 4/12/2007 5:53:06 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 6:31:57 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Obviously I don't know you, don't know a thing about you, so I could be way off the mark. Your words suggest that you want her off of your hands for awhile for your needs, not hers. You seem very conflicted about your relationship with her, where it has gone and if it has any future. Handing her off to another Dom for a time gives you the breathing space to decide what it is you want.

I may not be reading you right, and if not just ignore. If I am, time to come clean and ask what is really on your mind if you are really interested in getting useful advice.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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You teach best what you have lived.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 6:51:10 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		i second what Dominic said - thats excatly what it sounds like.

to answer the OP's question........ sounds like a can of worms, but could be a good can of worms.  who knows?


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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you... - 4/12/2007 9:04:35 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		I think its a way good idea to find your sub a new home

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A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you... - 4/13/2007 3:36:17 AM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		Absolutely, unequivocally no. Aqua is the most wonderful thing that's happened to me in a long, long time, and I'd rather lop off a limb than give her up. That said... the lifestyle for us is a learning experience, and we've been making that journey together. I think that, in this context, it's that journey that is important, not the end result.

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There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you... - 4/13/2007 7:20:09 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

Do you think that releasing your sub to someone who is more experienced than You temporarliy will give them some release and make them more succeptible to accepting Your training long term? Or is it a can of worms best to left unopened??

thank you D

Human beings come in all different ilks, with different needs and skill sets. What is possible for one may not be possible for another. So I could answer yest to your question and you would still have no better idea if she could do it.  As to the rest?  I don't find my should through WIITWD so I can't really comment.  you say you are fully aware of the consequences but that seems to belie the reason for the initial post in the first place.  At your age you can always start over again.  Doesn't hurt to try and learn from whatever happens.


_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you... - 4/13/2007 8:27:52 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

she is looking for release, not training. she wants to see her soul, with no regard to attaching. I can give it to her, but not immediately. that is My predicament. I am late in My explorations. but My explorations are becoming enthralling.


Holy fuck--where do you people come from???

That ain't your predicament, sunshine.

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you... - 4/14/2007 4:43:43 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

Do you think that releasing your sub to someone who is more experienced than You temporarliy will give them some release and make them more succeptible to accepting Your training long term? Or is it a can of worms best to left unopened??

thank you D


Do you think letting your girlfriend leave you to be in a relationship with someone else would form a stronger and healthier relationship when she came back to you? (If she came back).

I also think you are very new to this and need to pull your head out of the clouds and get grounded a bit more in reality.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 4/14/2007 4:45:05 AM >

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Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

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(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you... - 4/14/2007 3:21:03 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Well, if she wants out, there isn't anything you can do about it. But if he released me, I would never come back. I would never trust him not to kick me out again.

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you... - 4/14/2007 7:27:40 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I met a couple brand new to the lifestyle, and the female submissive was right into it. As soon as they found BDSM as a way of life, she knew where she was and what she needed. Things that had been half formed desires in her mind up until then became WHAM needs as soon as she had the validation that ~others do this too~.

In the meantime, he was struggling with the conflicts with societal upbringing that say be sensitive, be polite, be caring, yada yada yada. A very ethical and loving man, he was struggling with the concept of not only hurting his wife, but hurting her intentionally and  then LIKING IT.

As a partial solution, she became my submissive. While he was coming to terms with dominance, sadism, and taking control without feeling guilty for it, I was able to provide her with control, S&M, and provide both of them with education and direction. She was my submissive for 18 months, but really I could have released her at 9 months, as he was completely ready at that point to be what she needed. The reason the relationship lasted longer was a case of mutual love and respect, and my submissive being bisexual and enjoying the dynamic she got with me that he would never be able to provide (that of another woman).

Suggesting that you release your sub sounds hasty. Acknowledging that you are coming into your own, and she needs more than you can give right now doesn't. Talk with her and find out what she needs. Possibly a situation like I was in will be able to satisfy you both and give you the time to come to terms with whatever you need to deal with.

Good luck

~Ms. Elorin

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you... - 4/14/2007 9:20:21 PM   
D1979


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		Now I know why I posted this thread. Thank You. It will not take that many months though, I am sure.

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you... - 4/15/2007 8:07:45 AM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Happy to be of help. ~curtseys and blows a kiss~

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you... - 4/15/2007 10:39:52 AM   
notlooking2


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		From this sub's point of view.  I will respect a man who is able to voice his doubts, I won't respect a man who will hand me of to someone else to do his work for him. 

< Message edited by notlooking2 -- 4/15/2007 10:41:51 AM >

(in reply to D1979)
Profile   Post #: 40
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