And now I'm a dom (Full Version)

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tahoe2004 -> And now I'm a dom (4/11/2007 11:23:42 PM)

I've been a sub for many years (decades!) and have 'generic' profiles on a couple of adult-oriented sites. Where the profiles refer to spanking, D/s. BDSM etc.  (without role definition),  I receive dozens of responses from beautiful and willing subs, bottoms and surprisingly - would-be slaves. My sense is that most of these women are experimenting with newfound interests.

This embarassment of riches offers a whole new lifestyle for me, which is probably a lot less physically-draining than my previous incarnation. :-)  I'd like to pursue the Dom role (but not to the degree of leather chaps and a biker cap). because the list of applicants is huge.  I have lots of toys - with which I am  intimately familiar (ouch) but am wavering about changing from sub to Dom. The new role would be hot, clearly less painful and totally piques my interest a "new" lifelstyle. However, the prospect also seems opportunistic. I'm past my  "mid-life role reversal" crises - - - but wonder if the transition from sub to switch to a-few-years-of disinterest and then the Dom role - is fantasy or a possible reality.

Thanks everyone.



kinkyviolet -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/11/2007 11:26:49 PM)

Why not? [:)]



damia -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/11/2007 11:48:31 PM)

I'm a married slave, submissive only to My Lord. I, also, am beginning to explore my Dominant side. With My Lord's support, it is very easy. He knows I will not leave Him; I am His slave 'until death do us part'. He does have jealous pangs sometimes, but He allows me to play with whomever I want, and is even getting to know a guy that is a potential pet for Me!

It is very possible to go from submissive only to switch, and if you have a Dom, talk to Him/Her first and see what His/Her feelings are. See if (S)He will support you in your exploration. If (S)He is the right one for you, they'll probably help you explore your dominance, and be there to catch you should you fall.

Good luck!

~jewel, slave to Wulf



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/11/2007 11:59:00 PM)

My brother was a sub/masochist for 20 years....then he met an uncollared female sub, fell in love with her, switched and they got married!

Weird but true!

You can dominate someone so submisisve she brings out feelings of dominance (protection, guidance, control etc)

Saddest thing I see is longstanding, self proclaimed "Dominant" men getting hen-pecked to death by their submissive wives after a few years.  There's lots of people in lots of weird relationships calling themselves Dom and sub. 

So why shouldn't you give it a go if you find someone you really like and are willing to treat eachother with respect.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained



MasterFireMaam -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 8:48:48 AM)

You don't have to be one or the other. And, being a Top (sadist) or a bottom (masochist) can be completely seperate from being a Dom, sub, Master or slave. Explore. Have fun. Then pick a mix...or not. Remember that things are often fluid...so even once you pick a mix, it can change.

Master Fire



TheShadows -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 11:37:17 AM)

I say go for it.  I did, and I'm the happiest I've ever been in this lifestyle.  If this is something you're really interested in and turned on by, why not?  Take responsibility for your own happiness.

Best Wishes,
~MrsShadows~



sweetstorm -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 1:59:18 PM)

Don't let a label define you. Experiment and find out what feels good. Isn't that how you got into this lifestyle in the first place?



tahoe2004 -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 5:16:12 PM)

What great answers. I really appreciate the interest - and will try this next exporation of the lifestyle . . . smiling all the way.  Cheers.



windchymes -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 6:20:53 PM)

Just a quick tip.....more than just a few of those many applicants will probably turn out to be men pretending to be women.  Be careful.



tahoe2004 -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 7:21:02 PM)

That was pretty much the perfect answer to my self-inflicted confusion.  Thanks for the explanation - and re-defining roles that are so often confused, blended and in my case, stereotyped.  The concept of a masochistic dom is about the coolest description (and kink) I can imagine. It would likely get me thrown out of "events", but at the same time, no one could call me a poser. I think.

Thanks for the sharp insight.



N4SDChastity -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 7:56:29 PM)

Tho many are LOATHE to admit it, there's a little bit od Dom/me and sub in ALL of us.



tahoe2004 -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 8:12:25 PM)

So I'm discovering.



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/12/2007 11:10:14 PM)

My personal philosophy is that everyone is on a D/s ladder. 

No-one is right at the top (100% Dominant) or bottom (100% submissive). 

You have others above, below and next to you on the ladder.  Some people expertly bring out the delight of Domination; others can make you feel submissive

As life goes on you wander up and down the ladder a bit.  Some of us jump right off swearing off D/s forever.....but we always come back

Tahoe, you have just realised that you are on a ladder.    Go for it :)



aldompdx -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/13/2007 7:34:51 AM)

Playing a role is not being yourself.
Both polarities of control and surrender are within each person.
Look within to find your natural balance, or "set point," and just be yourself.
When one plays games with others, some may return the favor. Those who play games sometimes lose.



Elorin -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/15/2007 8:14:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tahoe2004
The concept of a masochistic dom is about the coolest description (and kink) I can imagine. It would likely get me thrown out of "events", but at the same time, no one could call me a poser. I think.

Why would being honest about who you are get you thrown out of events? You might be surprised to learn that there are a HELL of a lot more switches in the world than you realize, and/or that there are way more who identify as masochistic Dom or sadistic sub than you realize.

Midori does a great presentation on that topic, actually, you might search for her website and read the description of it. Just because you don't fit a stereotype does not mean you aren't welcome at BDSM events.

~E



grlneedstolearn -> RE: And now I'm a dom (4/15/2007 9:51:33 AM)

i say Go for it and best of luck



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