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A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/21/2005 5:58:50 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		If you meet someone on the internet and talk to them for two weeks...even if you are talking on the telephone daily, it is too soon to fall into the mindset of "they are the One for me".

I can understand thinking that things are progressing very well...and perhaps feeling some of that New Relationship Energy (we are at that point in a new relationship ourselves where we are just meeting with someone in person this weekend), but to make statements like "I've found my One" or "this one is really my Master" is really a bit silly. Now they well might turn out to be just that, but why not take the time to actually MEET them in person before announcing it to anyone who will listen?

So my unsolicited advice for the day....wait until there is actually some interaction in person.

best regards,
fate

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Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size
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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/21/2005 6:12:04 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

If you meet someone on the internet and talk to them for two weeks...even if you are talking on the telephone daily, it is too soon to fall into the mindset of "they are the One for me".


So where was this advice two weeks ago? lol

I have to agree here, it happens and it happens to the best of us. You wanna believe in that person right up to the last minute. Then reality sets in... and it sucks. Ok, I know it isn't always that way, but often enough. And I know I sound like the skeptic here, but guard your emotions until you meet face to face and spend some time together. I know that's said all the time, but sometimes we don't listen to our own best advice and this is a good reminder.

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/21/2005 6:17:19 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Now THAT is how you write a post!

I agree of course. When I first met the Owner I was very excited and anxious and feeling this was going to be "big" but there was that grain of common sense saying to wait and see.

When most people start out dating in bdsm they act just as they did when they started dating in their teens. It's a lot less attractive, a lot more stupid and a lot more severe consequences as an adult.

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/21/2005 9:42:37 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks, great advice...
I try to keep it in mind, and this is why I like to meet sooner than later, because talking online/phone everyday becomes emotional investment (if not financial in long distance cases), and it becomes a major waste of time if face to face proves to be different. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/21/2005 11:04:15 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Each "relationship" goes at its own pace.
Some may take months and months
Some may just "happen"
I do agree tho that meeting someone at least once is a requirement fairly early on then see where it goes from there.


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Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/21/2005 11:21:53 PM   
ProScatman


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/28/2004
From: Ohio
Status: offline 		How would you like to get asked to travel the world with someone on the third e-mail? I have!

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The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

Have a good day, Mike

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/22/2005 3:55:05 AM   
FuriousAngel


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		LOL! I set my own record last night. Received, not one but two e-mails from someone inviting me to come and live in their home in California. I've never even spoken to him in my life!

Good thing this thread was created and I got the advice. Otherwise, I might have been packing my bags right now. LOL!

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/22/2005 11:02:54 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FuriousAngel

LOL! I set my own record last night. Received, not one but two e-mails from someone inviting me to come and live in their home in California. I've never even spoken to him in my life!

Good thing this thread was created and I got the advice. Otherwise, I might have been packing my bags right now. LOL!


i would have been in India as well...thanks for saving my sorry ass...

i got one solicitation after 3 emails that he wanted to "transform" me into his slave, never knowing anything about me....i replied...i might be married, have 6 kids and diseases, still want me? i never heard from him again... LOTFLMFAO!!

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i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/22/2005 11:05:25 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FuriousAngel

LOL! I set my own record last night. Received, not one but two e-mails from someone inviting me to come and live in their home in California. I've never even spoken to him in my life!

Good thing this thread was created and I got the advice. Otherwise, I might have been packing my bags right now. LOL!

I'll bet I know who it is too, that was one of the first emails I got when I came onto this post! LOL

At least I know I'm in good company Furious

cello

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/22/2005 12:35:02 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProScatman
How would you like to get asked to travel the world with someone on the third e-mail? I have!

Well, I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with someone spontaneously blurting something extravagant out if you've been incredibly honest with one another.
As long as he/she didn't say pack your bags, we're going next week... M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/22/2005 4:00:46 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So my unsolicited advice for the day....wait until there is actually some interaction in person.


I would say wait 3-6 months for the masks to fall off, to see the real person, to go through a few challenges together... then and only then can you say you have a foundation on which you can say just perhaps I found someone who I can see myself with for a long time...

People who fall in love too quickly (with me) freak me out.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 4/22/2005 6:30:01 PM   
satinn


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline 		*thinking here my didnt i find these messege boards sooner*
have been in the lifestyle for quite some time....thought no way will i get sucked in 'again' but i did...after emailing a Dom that contacted me through CM for the past 3 weeks(up to 5 maybe 6 a day) i finally ask him if he thinks we should meet ....after some thought on his part we met for a drink last Monday.....he was charming and made me feel at ease (also had a great bod) after the 2 hour meeting he said for me to go home and write him an email saying how i thought it all went...so off i go like a good lil girl and write said email then sit there patiently waiting for a reply ......am still waiting ......why cant people be honest is what i would like to know.....i guess the point am trying to make here is where has the honesty and respect gone??

satinn

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RE: A bit of unsolicited advice.... - 5/16/2005 12:11:12 PM   
SirSTRYKER


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/15/2004
Status: offline 		To Me, One who does indeed search various chat rooms for subs, the meetings take place at times, but never after one or two emails or phone calls. Also some I have refused to meet in r/l knowing that O/our relationship is better served on line. In any event, caution should be taken in ANY meeting. There are just as many dangerous and fatal attraction type females Dommes AND subs out there as there are men.

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B.O.H.I.C.A. (bend over here it comes again.)

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