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SimplyMichael -> RE: lie of omission? (5/17/2009 11:13:32 AM)
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Thanks for the kind words guys.
There are no absolutes and someone can just outright lie without you being involved in that act. It is sort of like a picture in a newspaper. At one distance it is nothing but dots, at another it is a clear image. How we move through the world is like like.
Take an extreme case, rape.
A woman walking to her car at night gets raped.
It is not her fault and all blame lies with the rapist - Very true.
However, a woman walking alone COULD ask someone to go with her, could park closer, could do something to reduce the risk. Not having done those things does NOT make her guilty, however, some behaviors bring more risk than others.
Most things in life exist on some sort of continium from one extreme to another and often in a bell shape. Sitting in your house and someone breaks in and rapes you, that is pretty much all the way on the "not my fucking fault in any way" end of the spectrum. Being 18, going to clubs, getting drunk, accepting drinks from strangers is pretty much smack dab in the fat point of the high risk of getting raped. While it isn't the fault of the victim in any way, a bit of "what the fuck did you expect" comes into play when you are doing something highly risky.
However, the lesson I was trying to convey is that one can take a "its all their fault" approach which usually feels good but doesn't help you grow, or you can step back and look at your part in whatever happened and grow from it. Its like the doms who throw out anyone who doesn't obey easily from day one. If you instead HELP someone obey, HELP someone become better, they are likely to see you as someone special and the bond will deepen. Doesn't mean you should accept lies but step back and look at that lie in the context in which it occured and see if by changing the context, the need to lie goes away.
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