Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

A groupie?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A groupie? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
A groupie? - 4/12/2007 6:51:19 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Ok, I've been wrestling with this for a while now because I haven't been able to clearly define what I'm about.  I know I don't make a good girlfriend.  I'm way too pragmatic for that and don't really need to be taken out.  My vanilla interests are rather solitary and not the sort of thing one does with a companion.  I like sharing everyday activities, but can also do them alone.  I know I'm a good partner because I am so pragmatic; and I'm also loyal and committed.  Sometimes I think "slave" works, because when I think of a slave, I think of someone totally committed to their other and willing to devote themselves to them, but I don't have any compelling need to be in a relationship and I can't wrap my thoughts around the idea of a slave without a Master.  At times I think of myself as a barnacle just looking for a ship to attach to, but I'm not quite that passive, so that doesn't really work.

So, I've been thinking about previous interests and what's really worked for me and what hasn't and I realized I've very attracted to people with strong public presences, even though I don't have one myself.  I just like standing back and watching them, admiring them and stuff like that.  I don't want to be involved in what they do, except in a very secondary/ supportive way.  I just want to see them do it and succeed and be happy and all that.  My relationship with my ex had that quality.  And I was talking with an old friend I used to get together with and our relationship was very much organized around that kind of dynamic.  A couple times he took me to the casino and let me watch while he played cards, and I was in 7th heaven.  Another woman might have felt ignored but it was perfect for me.

So, I'm like thinking, maybe I'm not a submissive (though I'm very good at submitting) and maybe I not a slave.  Or a girlfriend or even a barnacle.  Maybe I'm just a groupie.  It sounds so right to me.

I dunno.  Its such a compelling idea, I had to share it too find out other people's thoughts.




_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 6:55:19 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Maybe a passive groupie as a groupie wants to be part of everything that the person they are fantasising about does and would jump to be centre of attention usually.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:03:38 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Perhaps.  I'm thinking more of the idea of hanging around back stage and remaining in the background. 

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:08:10 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl
So, I'm like thinking, maybe I'm not a submissive (though I'm very good at submitting) and maybe I not a slave.  Or a girlfriend or even a barnacle.  Maybe I'm just a groupie.  It sounds so right to me.

I dunno.  Its such a compelling idea, I had to share it too find out other people's thoughts.

I think you make a compelling reason here and if it feels right for you, embrace it.

Just be prepared to explain your meaning countless times.  I think it's nifty.

For a few months in DC I had an "entourage."  It was bestowed upon me by a few of my groupies and I fought against it for awhile, but they all seemed to like the idea and I had to admit that's pretty much what they were with me.  It was cool and I was sorry to see it fraction so soon.  Such is life.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/12/2007 7:09:19 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:13:55 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

Perhaps.  I'm thinking more of the idea of hanging around back stage and remaining in the background. 


Ahhhhhhh i'm with you - yes then good analogy.
And if you are happy with it ..........

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:24:12 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

Just be prepared to explain your meaning countless times.


Well, yeah.  For practical purposes, I'll probably stick with submissive.  But, it can't be any harder to explain than the Ship/barnacle dynamic I've been working with. :)

But, yes, the idea of the entourage is a perfect elaboration.  I've always been attracted to poly but I'm mostly monogamous.  I just think its fine and dandy for my partner to have others.  Like, every good Dominant should have an entourage.  It just seems to be in the order of things.


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:25:35 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Thank you for being with me. :)

Sometimes I feel like I'm really out there in left field.



_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:28:09 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Your welcome. I used to work with a rock band and was picturing the groupies i dealt with. I forgot about the ones you mentioned afterwards who hung backstage and watched.
Don't feel alone i'll bet theres more than you can relate to your thread

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:49:50 PM   
BondageTopJere


Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline 		"Devotee" or "follower" seems to be a more apt description than groupie to me.  Its sounds very much like you enjoy being in orbit around a charismatic person, but not so strongly pulled that you crash into them.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 7:52:27 PM   
hawkwolf7


Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Just one person's opinion, but to my (yeah, ok, twisted) way of looking at things, the way you operate fits well within my definition of submissive. You don't seem "out there" at all. While I personally am not one of them, I talk to lots of them who are looking for... no, who are desparate for what you have to offer. More precisely, I would say that the majority fall into that category.

One other comment, the way you are is very similar to how a well trained leather submissive/bottom behaves. The Dom who finds you won't even have to train you!

Best of Luck!
HawkWolf

_____________________________

p.s. Everything I write is simply one person's opinion: mine. Feel free to take what is useful and blow off the rest.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 8:02:02 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

Its sounds very much like you enjoy being in orbit around a charismatic person, but not so strongly pulled that you crash into them.


Yes, the orbit idea.  I even have that in my profile. :)  And, crashing is bad for me.  There's a point where the gravitational pull gets too strong and thats exactly what happens. 


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to BondageTopJere)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 8:05:24 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

One other comment, the way you are is very similar to how a well trained leather submissive/bottom behaves.


Ok.  I have no idea.  But, since I was a kid, like in my teens, I've had a thing about old leather.  I know its a gay male schtick, and I'm not, but still, all my early imagery of this stuff revolved around that.  I like the austerity of the Top/bottom dynamic.


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to hawkwolf7)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 8:38:08 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Perhaps you're "Support Personnel"? *chuckle*

I'm an exhibitionist. The idea of someone standing and just watching what I'm doing is kinda hot. Well, unless I'm like on the toilet or something. LOL But you can come and watch me spin fire sometime. ;-)

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 8:45:47 PM   
BondageTopJere


Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:


Yes, the orbit idea.  I even have that in my profile. :)  And, crashing is bad for me.  There's a point where the gravitational pull gets too strong and thats exactly what happens. 


 Thats what i get for reading too fast.  I have an annoying tendency to skip lines in a paragraph when I'm reading.
To be fair, it does seem that your looking for a dispassionate approach from a potential dom.  Its not that he does or doens't want you there, but one that is indifferent to your presense most of the time, taking it for granted while your there to provide him with what he needs.  Giving assitance if its required, but at other times fading in the woodwork, an observer at once close and far. 

Got a serious attraction to either black or grey, strictly neutral tones, by any chance?

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 8:48:53 PM   
hawkwolf7


Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

One other comment, the way you are is very similar to how a well trained leather submissive/bottom behaves.


Ok. I have no idea. But, since I was a kid, like in my teens, I've had a thing about old leather. I know its a gay male schtick, and I'm not, but still, all my early imagery of this stuff revolved around that. I like the austerity of the Top/bottom dynamic.




The good news is that it isn't just a gay male or gay female thing. There are lots of straight Doms (Men and Women) who are into High or Medium Protocol... they love the structure and discipline of it, especially in public venues. They will feel truly blessed to find you. I suspect that like them, you just like protocol.

HW

< Message edited by hawkwolf7 -- 4/12/2007 8:50:58 PM >

_____________________________

p.s. Everything I write is simply one person's opinion: mine. Feel free to take what is useful and blow off the rest.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A groupie? - 4/12/2007 9:30:23 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I may be pegging this wrong, but maybe not. I think you're fitting my definition of what I call a dedicated submissive friendship. When I was in Michigan, I wasn't involved with any dominants, but I became seriously involved with a woman for whom I cared deeply who was probably my closest friend. We spent great deals of time together, and I felt much like you state when you use the term groupie. She knew I was submissive, and as a result, she knew pretty much how far she could go with the two of us, and she never really did anything that enhanced that further, because the relationship worked fine without having to go deeper than that. I'm sure this is the male submissive counterpart of what you're describing, but she would drag me along with her when she was having drinks out with female friends, and none of them ever had any problem with me being there, and it was just very comfortable. I was almost always the only guy there at these types of outings, and it was kind of nice. Most of the women knew I was of a submissive nature, and a few times when it was unclear, my friend would just laugh it off as "it's okay, he's submissive," and there would be a small round of laughter, but not of humiliation; just comfortable clarification.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A groupie? - 4/13/2007 12:00:36 AM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl
quote:

Just be prepared to explain your meaning countless times.


Well, yeah.  For practical purposes, I'll probably stick with submissive.  But, it can't be any harder to explain than the Ship/barnacle dynamic I've been working with. :)

But, yes, the idea of the entourage is a perfect elaboration.  I've always been attracted to poly but I'm mostly monogamous.  I just think its fine and dandy for my partner to have others.  Like, every good Dominant should have an entourage.  It just seems to be in the order of things.


Holy Crap.. this is really thought provoking thread for me.  It's made me stop, think and realize a few more things.  I never really looked at or viewed groupies as being submissives or an entourage as being the same.  I always considered this to be part of the package deal with playing guitar in the bands.  However, I totally see where you are coming from.  At least from my own Dom experience and perspective.  In terms of people being there wanting to please me and in exchange for being accepted into the click of things.  I've even had t-bones steaks cooked up on BBQ's at 4am in the morning by Groupies hoping to get laid.. Wow... offers for all kinds of things.   Hell in terms of this, I can even see the straight guys that wanted to be of Service and fit in as well.  Wow, submissives...  I never put this connection together in my head until reading this post.  Entourages or should I say "The group"...  I never really considered this in BDSM Dom handbook.  Because Most of these I would never do a BDSM scene with.   I have a rule about not sleeping with groupies, who the hell knows where they have been.  However, when BDSM play and sex are removed.  This is a D/s relationship going on.  Even more so... Hell no wonder I am somewhat spoiled at times.  I can probally come up with Endless examples where these types like to watch and enjoy what one does, also are ready to do things at a drop of a dime unpon request, how they are looking for ways to serve and please.  Wow..  Alrighty now, my mind is absorbing this at an alarming rate...

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A groupie? - 4/13/2007 4:56:21 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline 		The few groupies I've met have all got one thing in common and that was not to be backstage and admire and support. They were in it to get their own 15 minutes of fame. They were in it to be able to put something on their "CV" so to speak. Based on that I wouldn't categorize what you described to being a groupie. 

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A groupie? - 4/13/2007 5:37:28 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Perhaps you're "Support Personnel"? *chuckle*

I'm an exhibitionist. The idea of someone standing and just watching what I'm doing is kinda hot. Well, unless I'm like on the toilet or something. LOL But you can come and watch me spin fire sometime. ;-)

Master Fire



There is something voyeristic about it, though not in a peeping tom way--not that there's anything wrong with that between consenting adults :).  Its more that I get vicarious satisfaction out of other people's perfomances.

And the idea of bottoming just so a top can demonstrate his skill is certainly appealing, and I love listening to a top explain their craft even though I have little interest in topping.  So, the supporting role does capture my imagination.

Spinning fire sounds really cool.  Exactly the sort of thing one would want to watch. :)



_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A groupie? - 4/13/2007 5:39:21 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:


Got a serious attraction to either black or grey, strictly neutral tones, by any chance?


Most definitly!


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to BondageTopJere)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A groupie? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.093