learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him

learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (Full Version)

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DemureMe -> learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 12:38:11 AM)
Greetings everyone....i would just like to ask your views and thoughts on a sub learning and exploring the aspects and nature of a Dom with the goal to better serve and please....

FukinTroll -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 12:40:06 AM)
I feel that it is a good thing to understand each side of the kneel.

BondageTopJere -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 6:34:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll I feel that it is a good thing to understand each side of the kneel. Honestly, not doing so seems as strange and unnatural as not trying to breathe.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 7:30:25 AM)
Why would you NOT do this? How could you possible serve well if you DON'T do this? scratches head It seems that this is the POINT of service to me. Master Fire

gypsygrl -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 8:39:03 AM)
From the s-side, I'm ambivalent. Its the sort of thing that I do naturally, and because of my background in social science, I've been 'trained' in systematic observation. So, I'm pretty good at it and am an astute observer. But, because I'm so good, I worry that I 'see' things the other person may not be aware of or only vaguely aware of and I find that I get uncomfortable being privy to such information. Plus, because I pick up on so much, I often get myself into a situation where I'm aware of things that contradict the other's stated intentions and explicit knowledge about themselves. Gosh, I spend a lot of time wishing I could turn this part of my brain off. I do tend to only act on explict commands in order to allow the person the space to be who they think they are and want to be. Sometimes, I'll ask if they want x, y or z.

darkinshadows -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 9:06:44 AM)
(Just so you know - you need only post once in any area, as the mods don't allow multiposts) Peace

Wildfleurs -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 9:32:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemureMe Greetings everyone....i would just like to ask your views and thoughts on a sub learning and exploring the aspects and nature of a Dom with the goal to better serve and please.... I don't see the need to do it. Given a finite amount of time I'd rather learn the specifics of what my owner prefers from the fact that he likes his food on the salty side, likes to put his toes in the ocean for any vacation, and the brand/flavor of water he prefers. Those things will help be serve better and please him better. Switching is a me focused journey that would help me learn more about myself, but doesn't do anything for quality of service. C~

gypsygrl -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 9:36:59 AM)
Oh, I didn't read this as a question about switching. My reply makes no sense.

steviemichael -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 9:43:03 AM)
quote: (Just so you know - you need only post once in any area, as the mods don't allow multiposts) Peace I notice the person post a differnt question which i am sure the mod notice the differnce

littleone35 -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 9:45:13 AM)
Every Dom/Master is different for instance my Master likes his coffee black no sugar another may like his light and sweet or not like coffee at all. As wild said i would rather spend time leararing what MY Master likes. If this is switching aint gonna happen i don't see the sense in it. Al least not from where i am standing. If it works for you great . Matt's littleone

gypsygrl -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 9:58:00 AM)
No, I didn't say it was switching or even that it worked for me. I thought the question was about learning about a particular dominant in order to better serve them and answered with that in mind.

littleone35 -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 10:04:15 AM)
Sorry gypsy that was a quick reply was not directed at you was directed to the OP. Matt's littleone

gypsygrl -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 10:07:09 AM)
Oh, ok. My mistake. :)

DemureMe -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 10:08:34 AM)
this is not in any way a question about switching, your thoughts would be highly appreciated and greatly help me in my search of the knowledge to be a better sub thus please my Dom....

steviemichael -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 10:11:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleone35 Every Dom/Master is different for instance my Master likes his coffee black no sugar another may like his light and sweet or not like coffee If this is switching aint gonna happen i don't see the sense in it. Al least not from where i am standing. If it works for you great . but suppose one day you decided to have your coffee without sugar would you claim because you change one desire that mean you are totally switching Matt's littleone

Wildfleurs -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 10:52:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemureMe this is not in any way a question about switching, your thoughts would be highly appreciated and greatly help me in my search of the knowledge to be a better sub thus please my Dom.... Have you asked him what he considers the key components of a good submissive? Have you paid attention to his reactions when you do certain things (or when other people do certain things? Those are good first places to start on how to become a better submissive for your dominant. C~

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 12:56:39 PM)
I'm not sure I understand exactly what you're asking, but I'll give it a shot. Pay attention to everything and listen. It's about learning what he likes and doesn't like, wants and doesn't want, needs and doesn't need, etc. Storing what you learn and using it when it's appropriate. And most importantly, him communicating to you what he needs, wants and desires from you.

Mustardseed -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 6:27:27 PM)
It depends on the Dom, really. Some dominants prefer that the submissive only react to what they're told to do, period, unless it's an actual emergency. They don't want to feel second-guessed, as though the submissive knows more about their desires than they do. In a less strict sense, they want the submissive to have an idea of what the dominant would like, but not to feel that they know exactly ... ala Kevin Smith's Dogma. Other dominants look forward to the time when they have a submissive so well trained that other than minor corrections for the sake of whimsy ("Actually, I'll have the green robe tonight. I'm not in a red mood."), the dominant gets almost exactly the service they want from their submissive from the moment they awake to the moment their eyes close -- without having to request a single thing. Do you have any idea of which way your dominant would like to go with these options?

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 7:45:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Why would you NOT do this? How could you possible serve well if you DON'T do this? scratches head It seems that this is the POINT of service to me. Master Fire Take this one step further. What does it mean to be in intimate relationship with someone you don't want to get to know. Whatever side of the slash -- he seeks to know me as much as I seek to know him. It's a two-way street and anything else would not work for me. Hell, without the slash, most people in relationship theoretically want to know the other -- friends, lovers, etc.

slaveish -> RE: learning the aspects/nature of a Dom to better serve and please him (4/13/2007 8:02:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemureMe this is not in any way a question about switching, your thoughts would be highly appreciated and greatly help me in my search of the knowledge to be a better sub thus please my Dom.... My direction is that of assuming you are brand new to this. If your Sir doesn't give you directions or orders, ask for them. Do things for him you think he would like. If he doesn't like what you're doing, he will tell you. When he tells you to quit doing something, quit doing something. When you address him, try addressing him by title, like "Master" or "Sir" - it shows respect that some D's and M's like. When you greet him, if you are in the proper venue (as in private or at an event where it wouldn't look odd), kneel before him, legs spread, palms open and upward, the backs of your hands resting on your thighs, eyes down. Some Masters like this, others will put you on your knees when they want you there. Beg to please him, whatever his kink is. Practice alone in the car if you have to. Practice until it sounds real. Practice until you feel it in your heart. "Pleeeaaasssse Master, please allow me to suck your cock" (and add your own embellishments). Ask him direct questions. Give him direct responses. If you don't understand something, ask for clarity. If you don't like something, say so (respectfully of course). Good luck to you. It can be a steep learning curve a most satisfying journey on the way up.

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