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Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 3:22:40 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings A/all,
 
Folks, we have had a number of threads lately on the subject
of physical and sexual abuse victims and survivors.  How about
sharing the resources, research, information and links for
those needing help?  If you have a story you want to share
that is fine.  No need to disclose anything you do not want
to talk about.  I will start with a few links -
 
PTSD and Dissociation Resources for Survivors,
Supporters and Professionals
http://www.sidran.org/index.cfm
 
Child Sex Abuse Survivor Family therapy Resources
http://www.darkness2light.org/GetHelp/treatment_child.asp

Find a therapist at Find Counseling.com
http://www.findcounseling.com/

Abused Empowered Survive Thrive
http://www.aest.org.uk/
 
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
http://www.rainn.org/


National Sexual Assault Hotline  •  1.800.656.HOPE  •  Free. Confidential. 24/7
 
 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 3:28:49 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
This is not really a link to a therapy organization, although what they offer can be very therapeutic. 

http://www.impactsafety.org/chapters.htm

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 3:32:51 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		I thought I would include a couple links to Kink aware professional listings as well.

http://www.sfsi.org/links/therapy.html

http://www.ncsfreedom.org/

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom recently ( January of last year I believe) took over the control of KAP from Guy Baldwin and Race Bannon.

http://www.ncsfreedom.org/kap/index.htm

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 3:40:40 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline 		Well - I am just going to add the basic non-profit orgs who are absolute STARS

The Samaritans
 
plus -

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
(they rock)

http://www.survivorsuk.org/
(was recommended)

http://www.childline.org.uk/
(not just for children, but teens/young adults and concerned adults)





_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 4:11:59 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		This is a good idea Vendavel but can it somehow remain as a sticky so that it does not just get lost with all the other posts?

Im glad to see that darkinshadows has put up the survivors link because men have to deal with rape too.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 4:17:54 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		In addition to psychological counselors listed in Kink Aware Professionals, also consider Poly Friendly Counselors/Professionals --
http://www.polychromatic.com/pfp/psych.html

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 4:23:07 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I don't have a link but I did want to say this.

You are in charge of your recovery and healing. Take the time to find a good therapist for you -- remember you are paying, you can (and I believe you should) take the time to find a good match for yourself. Yes, you will have to pay for that first appointment to see if someone may be a good match and you will need to be as honest and upfront about everything you can think of in order to gauge their reaction.

I have never, ever felt bad about interviewing 4 therapists before I found the one I've been working with for years. She knew nothing about BDSM or poly but she was a good match for me and had turned into a wonderful resource for our entire family.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 4:23:13 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		That is a great idea, MariaB.  Would you like to make a
request to the moderators?  Great to see the UK and men
and poly being represented too. 
 
Thank you E/everyone for the posts so far, keep them coming! 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 7:17:32 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings,

i don't have any links to offer, although if any regular forum posters are interested, i would be glad invite you to a private forum (one i am a mod on) with a lot of survivors...it's primarily for eating disorders, but we have members who've dealt with abuse, self-injury, mental disorders of all kinds, and many of the regular members have ptsd and have been through sexual trauma and/or domestic abuse. cmail me on the other side if you think this might help you.

i would also like to add that if you are in college, take advantage of the resources offered by your school. a lot of people think that school health services and counseling services are useless, but here, at least, i have had an awesome treatment team with really competent and kind people, and i have barely had to pay for anything. some workplaces will also help out...see if there's anything offered by your human resources department. a lot of these kinds of resources go unused by people who badly need them because, at least as i've seen, most students automatically think they must be substandard.

vendaval, thanks for this thread. i think it's really important.

annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 7:29:59 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		i think this is great that you all are posting these links and stuff........... but

say some one was to call up about any of these issues.  What do you say?  "Hello, hows the day going?"  "I've had xy and z done - care to have a conversation about it?"    i dunno, but for me - the intro to any conversation relating to any of this stuff is JUST WIERD.  i actually find it completely wierd to talk about any of it.  Part of my problem is, the only place i have ever remotely been open about this stuff ........ was....... here.  i'm sure sounds odd, but its a place where you can interject any old thing into an already on going conversation... use whatever to take a stand....... yet at the same time..... its not a conversation.  Hell, half the time its just an outline.  No ugly details.  Who wants to dicuss ugly details?  i've gotten good where i can say "yes this happend and yes that happened" - but to actually describe it?  Yall are nuts.

Much easier to walk up to a doc and say "hey ppl think i'm bi polar what do you think?"  On top of that - how do you look at some one in the face and talk about it?  Do you do it matter of factly?  3rd person?  Do you just tell the tale?  AND - say you've told the tale.  Whats a doc going to say?  "Well yes, i'm sure that was very unpleasant for you"  and than what?  All better?  Something magical happens?  AND whats the point of talking about it anyways?  Its in the past, over done with, not happening again. 

See i realise that an important thing with this stuff, is to be ABLE to talk about.  To not hide it in a closet or something.  I've managed to do that here......... so bam......... magical stuff happens? 

the key is to "deal" with stuff right?  Why do people have to have another around to deal with stuff?  Why must we go and find some stranger, manage to strike up a conversation about icky stuff.... to deal with it?  Hell, i dealt with the crap when i was 15.  My Mother said "do you want to talk about it".  i said "no".  She called the cops, i called the triads.  Dealt with!

yeah.... i guess i just dont see the point.  i dont understand.  Why's it important?  Whats the need?  What do these people have to offer? 


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/13/2007 8:42:42 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		The beauty of humans is that we are all unique and we find different things helpful.  For example, some people may prefer to talk to their family, friends, doctor, teacher, priest etc about trouble they are having - they may prefer to do this on the phone/computer or face to face.  some people may prefer to talk to people they don't personally know - again face to face or through a chat group or forum or on the phone.  some people may prefer to address their issues on their own, some may prefer not to address their issues and some may choose to do a mixture of everything or something totally different. Pretty confusing huh! The key is to remember that there is no one correct way of addressing issues of abuse/trauma and and that if you have found particular strategies that are helpful and healthy for yourself, continue to use those techniques.

In regards to talking to a stranger - eg. ringing a helpline - the people on the other end would be aware that most of the callers may be experiencing anxiety, nervousness, shame, fear, hesitation, uncertainty, confusion, and a million other emotions including wtf am I doing ringing a stranger.  The telephone counsellor would let the caller guide the conversation and the rate of disclosure and let the caller choose how much, if anything, they do disclose.  sometimes people call up and talk about the weather... that's ok.

I like the idea of providing people with a whole lot of options which is what I feel that this thread is doing.... smiles. It is kind of like giving people a toolbox of ideas and contacts and they can use all or some or none of them, it can sometimes be comforting just knowing that you have them.

Some Australian links

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/
http://www.menslineaus.org.au/cms/index.html
http://www.havoca.org/HAVOCA_home.htm (UK site for adult survivors of child abuse)
http://www.kidshelp.com.au/home_KHL.aspx?s=6
http://ssdv.acon.org.au/index.php (domestic violence in gay and lesbian relationships)
http://www.ofw.facs.gov.au/womens_safety_agenda/domestic_violence_help/telephone.html (australian state by state phone numbers for men and women)
http://rainbownetwork.org.au/ (for gay and bisexual male survivors of sexual abuse)


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Devilslilsister)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/14/2007 1:52:55 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greeting to all

i am so happy to see this posted as a abuse survoir and one who life is forever change by it i am glad to see things that can help others it is hard to even talk about i am as confuse as ever but i found the inner child in me whcih help my twin and i learn to live and forgive yes forgive those who hurt us. i found that if you can forgive you can move on but i tell you all i never will forget it, my therapy is my doll house my dolls and my art i have not yet learn out to draw out my pain i only paint lovely things or people so i maybe be still in that place where i was abuse but i am growing i se a therpaist and he is  great i found i can not speak to woman therpaist only white male and i must trust them so i am ok now i hope other can heal a second at a time a mintue at a time evn a day at a time which is ok .

thank for listening and any adive is always helpful
mons

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/14/2007 1:55:45 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		A CM member contacted me on the other side and asked to have this group listed as a resource for Christian women who were in abusive marriages.

Go to Yahoo Groups and search for: choice-of-submission

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/14/2007 7:37:31 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		You don't ring someone up or walk up to a desk and say "this is my problem."

You call and make an appointment to talk to a potential therapist for an hour or so -- you will pay for that appointment. You should tell them that you are interviewing to find a good therapy match for you; if they don't like that idea, you know that is not a good match immediately, give them their fee for that hour, and walk out.

I know that might sound expensive to some people but ask yourself this: How much more expensive will it be to not find an appropriate match to help you with your mental health? A bad therapist or counselor can do a lot of damage or lead you down paths that will not help you heal. Not getting any help is just going to allow things to continue as they are -- if you are thinking of therapy, you know that is not what you want to continue to live with.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Devilslilsister)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/14/2007 9:49:41 AM   
santalia


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings

This isn't a link to anything therapy related, but it is an awesome teaching tool for unmentionables about stranger safety. It might help prevent their needing victim/survivor therapy later. :)  i have it for my unmentionables.

https://www.thesafeside.com/

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}t

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/14/2007 10:35:26 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		What a good idea, Vendeval, I wished I'd have thought of it on that other "abuse" thread, too. I don't have any more to add (any ones I'd have sent have already been). A good idea!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to santalia)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Support & therapy for victims and survivors - 4/14/2007 12:21:23 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		In addition to what TammyJo said I would also like to add that many people feel that $ is an issue as well in regards to therapy. Do not let this be an idea that keeps you from reaching out. Many, many mnay therapists will see someone on a sliding scale in order to help. Simply be honest when you find a therapist you click with and tell them what your concerns are in regard to cost. I've never known a therapist or counsellor that wouldn't adjust their rates in order to help someone. Just Ask..

If you have insurance, use it. You pay for it already and many times counselling is part of the services offered through your insurance plan.

Look into county health department services, many therapists volunteer there and understand that a client that comes from there via a referral cannot afford to pay the usual fees. They will usually work on a sliding scale based on income level. It's the whole reason they do list themselves as a referral through county services to begin with. To help others that might not be able to afford their regular fees.

Another resource as well may be your local victim's advocacy group. I was a rape advocate for many years and they can also help with a list of referrals for counseling and therapy. It doesn't matter that the abuse may have happened years ago.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
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