What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (Full Version)

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DrPleasure -> What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 4:23:40 PM)

this might be a hard question to answer, but i was wondering what you enjoy? 

in terms of bottoming, i like putting the sensations and emotions that i feel in the hands of another and experiencing what they have to offer.  its like being at a restaurant and ordering the tasting menu.  the chef has control of your palate for a few hours.



thetammyjo -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 4:27:31 PM)

Not having to fight for what I want.

Having the sense that I can be pampered without any required payment simply because it makes us both happy.

The ability to be selfish for a while without any negative connotations.



AAkasha -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 4:41:32 PM)

I get off on seeing a man willing to endure things he otherwise never would, just because he likes to see me pleased. I like pushing the boundaries of fear, pride and control through bondage, humiliation and pain.  Seeing a man endure all of that just to please my sadistic high makes me feel incredibly tingly. I also think, at the core, a lot of the fetishy elements of bdsm are downright sexy - it's a big erotic turn on.
Akasha



LadyPact -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 6:16:13 PM)

Simplistic answer.  I like the power.



Najakcharmer -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 6:28:11 PM)

It's a savage, raw, primal thing for me.  I have a powerful drive to be, as Jack London puts it, the dominant primordial beast. 

That and it's just plain fun. 



Elorin -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 7:03:07 PM)

I like...
...asking for what I want and getting it.
...the immense feeling of power when someone offers control to me.
...the surge of pleasure when someone tries something new just to please me.
...wearing thigh high boots and corsets
...hurting people and it being ok
...presents
...teaching
...the feeling of pride when a submissive shines at something I trained him or her to do
...the feeling of pride when someone else compliments my submissive
...sharing wicked ideas with other sadists
...relaxing and knowing my sub will handle things while I sleep

There's many more, but that's a start



TigressFL -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 7:06:31 PM)

Having the freedom to just be me and being appreciated for it :)



arayofsunshine55 -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 7:22:07 PM)

Many things b ut at the top of the list is running shit.  And listening to his moans as he suffers for me, for us.  Makes me cum.  I guess that is number 3 -- it makes me cum.



Cuffkinks -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 7:37:56 PM)

         To many things to list. But for starters, and in no specific order:

The feeling of power I get from having complete control over another.
Having that control handed over to Me willingly on a "silver platter."
Having My own personal plaything to do with whatever I wish, whenever I wish, wherever I wish and however I wish.
Seeing her endure whatever I dish out to her.
Seeing her face light up with pride and happiness when I tell her she has pleased Me.
The pride I feel watching her blossom as My submissive.
Taking what I want from her. And in doing so, giving her what she needs.

    As I said...just a short list for starters.



Mysti -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 7:37:57 PM)

its sublime peace. I tried to be a submissive, and tried to switch, but nothing feels as good as that rush of adrenaline that comes with knowing you're in charge



DivineEmpress -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 9:31:10 PM)

To be truly dominant Is to FEEL the power of your submissive who absolutely  gives it up to you. Its an element of trust outside of one's consciousness, its spiritual bonding, its profound!. To be a TRUE Dom, one experience the highest element of the universe, the total GIVING of the creator, the sexual energy that creates life.The POWER! It's the feeling of caring for the soul of your submissive. I have learned that to be a true dom, you must experience being a true submissive. Whatever you give to another, you give to yourself..............We are ALL One!!


Divine Empress.



MissSCD -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/13/2007 9:34:45 PM)

I like the power of being a Domme.  It also gives me a lot of self-confidence. I like the power.  I also like the fact that I am getting redemption for my mother and grandmother who were treated like dirt by their husbands.  
That gives me a lot of satisfaction.

Regards,  MissSCD



DawnFire -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/14/2007 3:50:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

I like the power of being a Domme.  It also gives me a lot of self-confidence. I like the power.  I also like the fact that I am getting redemption for my mother and grandmother who were treated like dirt by their husbands.  
That gives me a lot of satisfaction.

Regards,  MissSCD



Awesome, gotta love that answer as a feminist.

But I love the power, the trust, the rush of complete control, and the tingly wet feeling I get from it all.

-Dawn



MariaB -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/14/2007 4:19:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

I like the power of being a Domme.  It also gives me a lot of self-confidence. I like the power.  I also like the fact that I am getting redemption for my mother and grandmother who were treated like dirt by their husbands.  
That gives me a lot of satisfaction.

Regards,  MissSCD


Wow is this about redemption?



MariaB -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/14/2007 4:21:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivineEmpress

To be truly dominant Is to FEEL the power of your submissive who absolutely  gives it up to you. Its an element of trust outside of one's consciousness, its spiritual bonding, its profound!. To be a TRUE Dom, one experience the highest element of the universe, the total GIVING of the creator, the sexual energy that creates life.The POWER! It's the feeling of caring for the soul of your submissive. I have learned that to be a true dom, you must experience being a true submissive. Whatever you give to another, you give to yourself..............We are ALL One!!


Divine Empress.


I love this post... it just sent tingles down my spine



SusanofO -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/14/2007 5:24:14 PM)

Feeling someone cares a lot about my needs, and that making me happy actually gets them off, somehow. And being necessary, important, and influential in someone's life in a major way.

The whole idea is amazing to me. It is almost like being transported to another planet for me. I have actually not had a Domme-sub relationship yet, but definitely know I have a "Domme" side (I am a Switch) and have bought "toys", and am reading books on how to be a Mistress, and reading this forum a lot more often, etc. I've had "Domme" fantasies ever since I can remember having an interest in bdsm.   

I was married for years to someone I'd have classified as a male submissive (if he'd actually been even mildly interested in anything sexually related, that is. He was mostly asexual, and definitely not a Dominant; I am a Switch) but even then - he just wasn't into other people all that much. Not just me, I mean into anyone, even on a social basis, really. He was a nice enough guy in some basic ways, and I did care about him, but our relationship was way more about him, than ever about me (and I am pretty unselfish, most of the time, honestly). Eventually, I just got really sick of that, after years and years of dealing with it. We were a bad match (but, I a a Catholic, and it's a long, boring story...)

He was extremely, over-the-top selfish in major ways. My needs were never, ever at the top of his "priority list". But enough of my "whine" about that (sorry to rant). 

I am into being submissive, too, but my ex-Dominant (when I got one), in the long run, turned out to be a disappointment to me, and the relationship ended with an episode of non-consensual (and completely unexpected) physical abuse, after over 1-1/2 years. It was a strange, and unexpected ending, to what had been a basically fulfilling relationship in many ways, and it made me sad to see it end, as we both put a lot of ourselves into the relationship, IMO.

I am still partly submissive, and may meet a nice Dominant in the future, but -

Right now, I guess I am really looking forward to exploring my Domme side in an active way. I just think it is wonderful there are actually men out there, who are into the idea of fulfilling a female's needs that fully. What a concept! - and one whose time has certainly come, too.

One day, I just woke up and said to myself:  Hey! What is not to like about this whole idea? A man genuinely wanting to serve me, after years of me serving them, and-or only partly getting my own needs ever met? This is a golden opportunity!!  Don't put it off any longer - start exploring it! (or at least getting ready to take some action). So I am.

I genuinely want to see the other person fulfilled as well,  and think that I can treat someone in a "firm yet maternal" kind of way, and also a "sadistic, bitchy" (but not over-the top) way, and - in general  it seems very fulfilling to me to be in charge of what happens. I've always had a big "take chage" side to my personality, and I like the idea someone else would value that, instead of it being seen as some kind of detriment to them.  

I can be quite "firm", and I have some pretty interesting Domme-male sub fantasies in my head I'd like to try.  It's just a whole new and exciting world, opening up for me!

Although I am a Switch, I seem to have no problem controlling my ability (or tendency) to Switch (in my head anyway, But - I don't really foresee this being an issue in an active sense either, I truly do not).

As far as which "role" I'd consider more "important" in my life, I'd say they are "even" but - I realy feel I know that I am not going to "go submissive" with any male submissive, due to being a Switch; I know what I think being a "Domme" means, and am learning more every day, and would be very willing to hear about a partner's needs, and see how we could act on them.

If I do get into a LTR with a male submissive (not imperative), they will need to understand, though, that I probably will need an outlet (w/a Dominant) for my "submissive" side as well (I am Poly, and they can be, too, of course). IMO it could be a really fulfilling for all involved, as long as we are all "on the same page" re: Poly, Switching etc.

It might sound complex, but I am not intimidated. I am very excited aboout the future possibiities! 

- Susan



AAkasha -> Devotion vs. surrender - what's your kink? (4/14/2007 5:57:41 PM)

In reading the thread "What do you like about being dominant" I was surprised how much dominant women seem to seek things that could really, in many cases, be satisfied by a man who is not kinky, but is extremely devoted and loyal and simply likes to put his lady above everything else.  Have her needs met, bend to her will on decisions, be very proactive about making her happy, let her make the decisions, and ultimately worship her.

I have a few vanilla girlfriends who are in relationships like this and I know their bedroom life is not necessarily kinky. My sister comes to mind, and I know she's not kinky - but she has an incredible relationship with her husband and he clearly worships the ground she walks on and she never wants for anything (not material; I am talking about emotional needs, etc.)

What about the other side of bdsm; I suppose I am talking about "topping," or "fetishes," or "scenes"? Do any dominant women not really have much interest in those things, and could live without them, so long as the submissive fulfilled her needs in all the other ways?  Is the "scening" a way to keep the submissive in a subspace of sorts so that he will deliver on the devotion promises?

Sometimes it seems like "topping" gets a bad wrap on message boards and is almost a forgotten aspect to bdsm.  I am kinky as hell; I get off seeing a man uncomfortable on my behalf, and I am addicted to the rush I get from knowing a man is willingly suffering to please me.  I like bondage, toys, gear designed to deliver pain - not in order to make my man behave in any certain way, but just because it turns me on like nothing else.

The devotion, honesty, and his complete willingness to put my needs above his is more vanilla, to me, than kinky. It's the way he was raised, it's his moral code, it's the fact that he's a very good person and knows how to treat women.

Do sub men, who admit and recognize their own kinky/submissive sides, find themselves in relationships with dominant women who clearly aren't really that much into imposing their will on their subs, but just want to be treated in a certain type of way by their man?  Do the toys only come out (if at all) to try to get this behavior in return? 

Subs, have you submitted to a woman (in a non pro environment) who was energized and excited by the bending of your will, in a non-domestic, non-service way, and how important is that aspect of your relationship quest moving forward?

Akasha



SusanofO -> RE: Devotion vs. surrender - what's your kink? (4/14/2007 6:02:17 PM)

The idea of spanking or caning a male submssive (and pretty hard, too) and making him give me oral, and do foot worship for me, really gets me HOT.

Having him completely dependent on me, in some kind of "training" scenario, where he is learning a new way of pleasing me, and disciplining him physically, every time he gets it a little bit "not right", but praising his gradual improvements, and seeing him so intent on pleasing me, as this all happens, gets me really HOT too.

I have  lot of things I'd love to see happen, as far as bdsm activity w/ a male submissive, and some are very specific and detailed (if I even get to do a few of them, I'll be ecstatic).

I have no idea how this squares w/any male submissive's fantasies (and am not pursuing anything right this second, am not quite ready), but - Yeah - I'm into that idea, the whole physical bdsm "activity" side of  the relationship, as well as the emotional side (oh yes)! 

I also want to hear their fantasies (even if I am not obligated to act on them all, I'd definitely make some a priority, most probably.
I'd want any submssive of mine to be fulfilled. And making him happy would very much be important to me, too)!

- Susan



HutchGarahl -> RE: Devotion vs. surrender - what's your kink? (4/14/2007 6:19:15 PM)

It's a powertrip. I like being in control of every situation. Getting someone to do whatever is said without question. The desire of one wanting to all possible to please me no matter the cost...and the satisfaction gained when they realize they have is a big turn on.



KaramelGoddess -> RE: What Do You Like About Being Dominant? (4/14/2007 6:26:15 PM)

EVERYTHING!!!!!!! [sm=bust.gif][sm=crop.gif][sm=trident.gif][sm=whap.gif][sm=paddle.gif][sm=shake.gif][sm=book.gif][sm=hello.gif]
 
With Kind Regard,
 
~Kara



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