RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking?

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pixelslave -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 9:41:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: basque48 Its truly a puzzling issue to me. Could it simply be that FemDom in general has taken on so many hard line connotations? I think you are truly quite right! There are several schools of thought that seem to abound here. Some of the ladies here are very rigid here in their expectations and not at all willing to compromise in the least. They seem to be looking for total submission from a man. Frankly, it is indeed very rare to find a man who is capable of giving a woman (or another man) that kind of submission. Like anything, there are degrees to which men & women are submissive by nature. [&:] There are those, who seem to be less common, that are looking for more of a submissive, but partner oriented kind of relationship. Personally, I think they have a better chance at successs, provided they're still willing to compromise at least somewhat in what they seek. [8D] Then there seem to be those that are looking for service slaves of some kind, cuckholds, non-sexual submissive relationships, complex poly relationships, or multiple subs with varying purposes for each. Clearly, there's a large variety of what women are looking for out there which is difficult for some of us to discern. On the flip side of the coin, I'm sure it's probably as varied with the men. What I see more than anything, regardless of what people are looking for is a "shopping list" of qualities or characteristics they expect potential partners to have and no desire or ability to compromise when someone comes close to meeting their list. Its as if those who are looking forget that the others they are meeting are people too with their own unique talents. abilities and experiences they have to offer as an added bonus we don't always see. How rigid do we have to be on our lists of wants and desires? What's the cost to us in lost time and pleasure when we could be having fun with someone who we just might be very compatible with us? Perfection is a myth. Unless you're truly perfect yourself, don't expect your ideal partner to be either. If you really think you are perfect, I'd suggest you seek help from a mental health professional. Having good self esteem is one thing, but being out of touch with reality and out of touch with what your strengths and weaknesses are is an entirely different matter. [8\|] My point is that I see long lists of why things didn't work out. Most look about the same. Obviously some issues on the lists are quite valid. Yet others are perhaps less so. Only those who wrote them will ever really know. My only suggestion is that for those who are searching, that you really think about what is most important to you, and what things on your lists that you're willing to compromise on (to me, life is a series of compromises). Once you do, you may just find there's someone out there who could be exactly what you are looking for. [8\|] - pixel

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 9:49:37 PM)
Yes, AAkasha...I would say, sadly, that the near misses come down to the same reason as the ones that are intertesting but fall out rather quickly. The only differnece is that I think the near misses are a trifle more sincere and manage to keep their inability to completely submit under wraps for longer. And this might be, as I have seen it, because they really do think they wish to submit and they don't realize that they are not. It is easy to pay lip service and fantasize about a 24/7 relationship that is a dream. But when the rubber hits the road, I don't think many of them are prepared for the every day little things. Suddenly they are caught up in a situation where it never even occured to them that their Mistress may not approve of or permit spending $25 for a bottle of cologne, or that there might not be tailor made shirts, and they have to consider being obedient and getting rid of the second vehicle, which is strictly a pleasure thing. I am sure I am giving poor examples, but these are quick things I can think of off the top of My head. I have also been offeredhomes with "slaves". They do not want to liquidate their properties or rent them out and live under My roof. They wish for Me to come to them. Sigh I will not do that. If I were to consider relocating at alll, which I don';t, I would only relocate with the basis in place the the roof is Mine. So he would still have to move to be with Me. Else there is a serious power compromise. It is as if they think they are just going to say they want to submit and then slide their current life into the Lady's life, with little to no real change. The change they see is that they now have a partner who is going to be "in charge", they will probably take on more household chores, and perhaps run a bath or cook a meal, but they also receive the benefits of kinky play on a regular basis. It doesn't really occur to them what "in charge" means. I am not sure if I am making Myself clear. I can only say that this sort of blending of lives wherein the boy was not doing without and thinking about flexibility on his part, seems suddenly shocked when he starts to realize what "in charge" means, and then he realizes that he is not going to be able to submit in that capacity. Yet these same boys are the ones who claim in profiles and emails that this is what they want. I find they only want "it" when "it" only encompasses the things that are not going to touch anything that is really habitual with them. This is the manner in which I test the waters. "Do this at this time". If excuses come, then I know that they are not comfortable losing the autonomy to maintain their personal preferences and habits. This is where My potential relationships usually fall by the wayside. Most faster than others, because it does take a lot for Me to consider someone as a serious partner.

MzMia -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 9:54:52 PM)
Wonderful post Dusty[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif] This post and TM should be requrired reading for those submissive men "claiming" to want a serious relationship with a DOMINANT woman! Bravo!

TexasMaam -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 9:55:36 PM)
'near misses'? 'close, but not what I want'? Gee how I wish I were that lucky! Will someone send Me a near miss, even? I have to confess that I got really lucky when I met My former sub bobbi, he was perfect in so many ways. It was a long term relationship that lasted many years. Today, I was fortunate enough, and wise enough, not to overlook what was right in front of Me. My new sub is doing so much to please Me in every way that I am continually impressed and moved by his efforts to make Me happy. That's two. Since 2001. Every other single encounter (since 2001) left Me screaming and running for the hills. Near miss? Hardly! It's been either a click or a 'not on your life' situation for Me. What was consistently lacking, in each and every instance, was respect and protocol...Always ended up being someone I'd be too embarrased to sit down to dinner with in public or too irritated to spend any time at all with in private. Money, position, career choice, background, had nothing to do with it - if I'd see a red flag in his behavior during our initial contact that indicated he's not a gentleman at heart, it was 'no harm, no foul' and I'd head back to the drawing board. TexasMaam

Mysti -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 10:13:49 PM)
Mine is vastly different from most. I'm single by choice. I dont want the responsibility of a sub untill I have educated myself more. I'm still very green in many areas, and therefore dont want to put my physical or mental health or that of a sub at risk untill I have more confidence in myself. I'm still repairing my spirit, and once I feel ready to, will venture into the local community and perhaps seek a mentor to help me with my development. Untill then I will sit and learn and develop myself so that I can be a positive and effective Mistress Edited to add I want to walk the walk, not just talk the talk [:)]

pixelslave -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 10:15:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TexasMaam Money, position, career choice, background, had nothing to do with it - if I'd see a red flag in his behavior during our initial contact that indicated he's not a gentleman at heart, it was 'no harm, no foul' and I'd head back to the drawing board. TexasMaam Its my opinion that background has everything to do with being a gentleman. How to behave as a gentleman is something that is learned and is usually taught to a boy as he grows or develops into a young man. It's also something that can be taught by a patient Mistress to a man who is eager to please with a strong desire to learn; something akin to sending him to finishing school. [;)] Whether or not to do that would of course be a woman's choice to make before she decided to take on a potential sub in the rough. [:D] - pixel

TexasMaam -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 10:21:31 PM)
True enough, pixel, however, consider the attorneys and accountants I've met who were raised and educated to be gentlemen and successful businessmen who were just asses. Being raised in a given manner does not guarantee that the man will grow up to be anything other than a jerk, if at heart he's just a jerk. I have met My share of well educated, well heeled silver spooned 'gentlemen' who were NOTHING but jerks. Sad, but true! TM

SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 10:42:04 PM)
Dusty, That post is worth it's weight in gold. Reminds me of a little something I like to call "submissive when convenient to him". Just as bad as a 'Do Me" or a HNG. My other very favorite swcth

MiladyAngelique -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 10:48:28 PM)
all my reasons have already been stated but here they are I will not take second place in his life to anything, this includes, wife, girlfriend, job and yes not even to his mother I am not after just a sub he needs to be able to be a partner as well, when I need him (yes confusing I know) I do want children, dagnabit, I am 28 (this does seem to be an issue) I want something very long term ... for some long term seems to mean 6 months Age, sorry guys but if you are the same age as my father forget it there is no scene where I live and I am not willing to travel 2 hours to play for 3 hours I do not play online if he is rude or gives me his msn addy in the first msg he tends to get ignored. I live in Australia not quite so many subs over here and only 4 within an hour of where I live and I have been with 2 of those in the past.... plus I don't drive I will not travel to a sub, in the long run all it does is leave me out of pocket if I ask a question I generally expect an answer, not a trite what ever you wish... for example I get sick of choosing what is for dinner ever day. form letters, they annoy me and tend to get a try again reply. I don't do casual, ok fantasique you are driving through Toowoomba great, I'll meet ya for coffee, if I am free, you will not be getting sex. I do not share well, he must be willing to be faithful and locked in chastity when he is not with me. (yes I have trust issues and I know it) he must be able to read and actually do it (so many dont bother to read my profile) hmmmmmmm more reasons there then I though oh well as one boy msg'd me I am too picky

littlesarbonn -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 11:11:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold Yes, AAkasha...I would say, sadly, that the near misses come down to the same reason as the ones that are intertesting but fall out rather quickly. The only differnece is that I think the near misses are a trifle more sincere and manage to keep their inability to completely submit under wraps for longer. And this might be, as I have seen it, because they really do think they wish to submit and they don't realize that they are not. It is easy to pay lip service and fantasize about a 24/7 relationship that is a dream. But when the rubber hits the road, I don't think many of them are prepared for the every day little things. Suddenly they are caught up in a situation where it never even occured to them that their Mistress may not approve of or permit spending $25 for a bottle of cologne, or that there might not be tailor made shirts, and they have to consider being obedient and getting rid of the second vehicle, which is strictly a pleasure thing. I am sure I am giving poor examples, but these are quick things I can think of off the top of My head. I have also been offeredhomes with "slaves". They do not want to liquidate their properties or rent them out and live under My roof. They wish for Me to come to them. Sigh I will not do that. If I were to consider relocating at alll, which I don';t, I would only relocate with the basis in place the the roof is Mine. So he would still have to move to be with Me. Else there is a serious power compromise. It is as if they think they are just going to say they want to submit and then slide their current life into the Lady's life, with little to no real change. The change they see is that they now have a partner who is going to be "in charge", they will probably take on more household chores, and perhaps run a bath or cook a meal, but they also receive the benefits of kinky play on a regular basis. It doesn't really occur to them what "in charge" means. I am not sure if I am making Myself clear. I can only say that this sort of blending of lives wherein the boy was not doing without and thinking about flexibility on his part, seems suddenly shocked when he starts to realize what "in charge" means, and then he realizes that he is not going to be able to submit in that capacity. Yet these same boys are the ones who claim in profiles and emails that this is what they want. I find they only want "it" when "it" only encompasses the things that are not going to touch anything that is really habitual with them. This is the manner in which I test the waters. "Do this at this time". If excuses come, then I know that they are not comfortable losing the autonomy to maintain their personal preferences and habits. This is where My potential relationships usually fall by the wayside. Most faster than others, because it does take a lot for Me to consider someone as a serious partner. I believe there are a lot of people who really believe the fantasy can become reality, but the fantasy is specifically THEIR fantasy, not yours. What I just said isn't a real a-ha revelation, but the reason I'm posting as a response to GoddessDustyGold's post is that I am one of those people who has a pretty good idea what I'd be getting into if I ever successfully found such a relationship. But it's been elusive for me. Sometimes it's the distance between where I am and where She is. Now, this wouldn't really be all that much of a problem if there was a belief that what was at the end of that road was something real that would be the reality of such a wonderful type of relationship, that yes, I do understand. Unfortunately, that generally doesn't seem to be communicated from the other party, as I usually get either a "well, I wish you lived closer" or my other favorite of "well, if you ever end up moving out to this area, we should...." So, someone who would really want to live such a lifestyle ends up having to try to find it close to where one actually lives. I can't even begin to count the amount of profiles from dominant women who state they want to find a live-in slave, but aren't interested in someone who is relocating. So, again, we end up with that situation where it's either the guy who lives next door, or we don't find anybody. It would actually be kind of cool if there was somewhat of a sincere dating service run by women (not because of the femdom part of it but because they really should be the ones to screen out this sort of thing as they have a lot more experience having to deal with the wannabes and time wasters) who might match sincere males in their area who are serious about moving to where there are women looking for submissive males. This way you'd have people already checked out and accounted for before someone ever had to start trying to weed them out on the other end. Sure, it wouldn't be perfect, but it sure would help those looking for the same thing actually be able to find the same thing.

AAkasha -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 11:27:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I believe there are a lot of people who really believe the fantasy can become reality, but the fantasy is specifically THEIR fantasy, not yours. What I just said isn't a real a-ha revelation, but the reason I'm posting as a response to GoddessDustyGold's post is that I am one of those people who has a pretty good idea what I'd be getting into if I ever successfully found such a relationship. But it's been elusive for me. Sometimes it's the distance between where I am and where She is. Now, this wouldn't really be all that much of a problem if there was a belief that what was at the end of that road was something real that would be the reality of such a wonderful type of relationship, that yes, I do understand. Unfortunately, that generally doesn't seem to be communicated from the other party, as I usually get either a "well, I wish you lived closer" or my other favorite of "well, if you ever end up moving out to this area, we should...." Pursue and pursue aggressively. For those subs serious about finding the 'one' and not wasting time, time is of the essence. Don't let geography get in the way. 50 years ago people didn't have the ability to connect the way we do now. If you have the choice between being single forever and taking some calculated risks, take them. The problem is that femdoms are expected to be the ones to pursue, and that can't always be the case. A guy impresses the hell out of me if he works hard to keep contact going, wants to talk on the phone, etc. The worst she can say is no. Send a letter in the mail (snail mail). Find out her birthday and send a card. Talk on the phone. A lot about compatibility can be figured out online and on phone calls. Then schedule a weekend visit. Get a hotel room to be PC. Sightsee. Hold hands. See what sparks might come up. The bottom line is -- don't take location as a deterrent if what you are seeking is a needle in a haystack. Even if the odds seem incredibly not in your favor. I took a huge risk on a one in a million chance of a relationship working with obstacles including age, geography, immigration, religion, and two people with families that didn't migrate more than 50 miles outside of their home city - EVER. It was the biggest payoff ever. If there's chemistry or a chance, work hard on it. Akasha

littlesarbonn -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/14/2007 11:37:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I believe there are a lot of people who really believe the fantasy can become reality, but the fantasy is specifically THEIR fantasy, not yours. What I just said isn't a real a-ha revelation, but the reason I'm posting as a response to GoddessDustyGold's post is that I am one of those people who has a pretty good idea what I'd be getting into if I ever successfully found such a relationship. But it's been elusive for me. Sometimes it's the distance between where I am and where She is. Now, this wouldn't really be all that much of a problem if there was a belief that what was at the end of that road was something real that would be the reality of such a wonderful type of relationship, that yes, I do understand. Unfortunately, that generally doesn't seem to be communicated from the other party, as I usually get either a "well, I wish you lived closer" or my other favorite of "well, if you ever end up moving out to this area, we should...." Pursue and pursue aggressively. For those subs serious about finding the 'one' and not wasting time, time is of the essence. Don't let geography get in the way. 50 years ago people didn't have the ability to connect the way we do now. If you have the choice between being single forever and taking some calculated risks, take them. The problem is that femdoms are expected to be the ones to pursue, and that can't always be the case. A guy impresses the hell out of me if he works hard to keep contact going, wants to talk on the phone, etc. The worst she can say is no. Send a letter in the mail (snail mail). Find out her birthday and send a card. Talk on the phone. A lot about compatibility can be figured out online and on phone calls. Then schedule a weekend visit. Get a hotel room to be PC. Sightsee. Hold hands. See what sparks might come up. The bottom line is -- don't take location as a deterrent if what you are seeking is a needle in a haystack. Even if the odds seem incredibly not in your favor. I took a huge risk on a one in a million chance of a relationship working with obstacles including age, geography, immigration, religion, and two people with families that didn't migrate more than 50 miles outside of their home city - EVER. It was the biggest payoff ever. If there's chemistry or a chance, work hard on it. Akasha What you say resonates quite a bit for me, especially these days. I think I let too many potential situations slip out of my grasp for whatever stupid reasons I had. I used to take huge risks when I was younger; I've kind of fallen into a no risk pattern lately; not even sure why. I guess the only questions I have to deal with is the ones we all have to deal with: How do you know she's actually serious, and how to attract the right person in the first place. I've been doing a lot of listening to different people these last few months because I don't think I've been going about this all the right way, and I think it's about time I fix that. Now, I just gotta figure out how to do that. But it certainly isn't going to be solved by doing what I've been doing all along.

pixelslave -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 3:27:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TexasMaam True enough, pixel, however, consider the attorneys and accountants I've met who were raised and educated to be gentlemen and successful businessmen who were just asses. Being raised in a given manner does not guarantee that the man will grow up to be anything other than a jerk, if at heart he's just a jerk. I have met My share of well educated, well heeled silver spooned 'gentlemen' who were NOTHING but jerks. Sad, but true! TM Ma'am, I'm doing my best not to bust out laughing my bottom off! Many of the 'silver spooned gentlemen' you speak of were taught what I'll refer to as 'table manners & social graces'; the ones expected of their social class and not how to be the 'gentlemen at heart' you refer to. The latter does come partly from a place deep in the heart and is fostered through being mentored by men and women in a growing boy's life who teach him to respect and show the proper regard for women they deserve. The two are very different things. [&:] When I was in college, they definitely didn't offer any classes that I can recall on how to be a gentleman. Not to sound disrespectful, but the professions you mention, aren't exactly high on my personal list of those I think of as being comprised of people known for having a lot of personal integrity. Much of Corporate America and the business scandals of the last few years would serve as fine examples of that! Here in Texas, the Enron scandal in particular comes to mind. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image] As with any generalizations, there are of course always exceptions. For anyone whom I've offended, please pardon me as my statements above were not intended to be of a personal nature. The bottom line is that there's a lot more to being a gentleman than having good table manners, knowing which spoon or fork to use at a given time, opening doors, or carrying bags for the ladies. A gentleman also has integrity of character such that being honest with both himself and others in his life is important enough to him that his word still means something to him. For me personally, it's not because I care what others I don't even know will think, so much as it is because I care what I think of myself. There are many other things I could say about being a gentleman, but I suspect we both know what I'm talking about and I really don't want to hijack this thread. [;)] You're right, there *are* lots of "jerks" out there who could care less about how their actions affect others just so long as they get what they want. Sadly, they affect us all. [X(] - pixel

MsCameron -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 5:38:41 AM)
quote: Pursue and pursue aggressively. For those subs serious about finding the 'one' and not wasting time, time is of the essence. Don't let geography get in the way. 50 years ago people didn't have the ability to connect the way we do now. If you have the choice between being single forever and taking some calculated risks, take them. The problem is that femdoms are expected to be the ones to pursue, and that can't always be the case. A guy impresses the hell out of me if he works hard to keep contact going, wants to talk on the phone, etc. The worst she can say is no. Send a letter in the mail (snail mail). Find out her birthday and send a card. Talk on the phone. A lot about compatibility can be figured out online and on phone calls. Then schedule a weekend visit. Get a hotel room to be PC. Sightsee. Hold hands. See what sparks might come up. The bottom line is -- don't take location as a deterrent if what you are seeking is a needle in a haystack. Even if the odds seem incredibly not in your favor. I took a huge risk on a one in a million chance of a relationship working with obstacles including age, geography, immigration, religion, and two people with families that didn't migrate more than 50 miles outside of their home city - EVER. It was the biggest payoff ever. If there's chemistry or a chance, work hard on it. Akasha I guess location and time has been my biggest obstacle. I hear what you're saying and if I lived alone, it would be different. But I don't and that keeps me local. I have never had any luck with the on-line search. Every relationship I've had, be it play partner or LTR has come about from meeting at a munch or a play party. So that's what I'm going back to. At this point, I'd be happy with an occasional play partner. MC

petitedomme21 -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 7:28:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BBBTBW All of the above. Then there are the ones that pretend to be submissive but secretly only want to be vanilla boyfriends...the ones that pretend they are what you want/need/desire only to figure out at the last minute that they are only sex subs and they know you want more....those that do come to the meetings to size you up to see if you are good looking enough to them or to see if your sex appeal is what they are looking for......those that stand outside the establishment looking around like lost puppies when you explicitely told them what you would be wearing and they should come to the table you are sitting at to introduce themselves...the list goes on.... I had the same impression after the last disappointment (2 days ago). We were both switches so I thought Great! But sometimes the guys seem to check you out, Is she goodlooking/Dommey enough for being considered a free Pro-Domme (many subs I think are like that)? Thank God I am attractive but not the bitchy latex-clad Domme, I am more interested in the person in front of me rather than the role. Or sometimes they will tell you they're single (because you make clear you want a relatioship and all) but then you fnd out they've girlfriends/wives etc who are too inhibited etc hence they need their release. They would use you and then throw you away. One day they're crazy about you filling your mobile with texts and then the next they disappear and they get offended if you are cold when they come back to you (when they feel like turning back to 'kinky mood'). I've just got a name for these people: losers! Their loss, not mine, not ours! [:D] Dommes/Switches unite against timewasters!!! A. P.S. I thought I was the only one going through this.

Unrepentant1 -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 7:44:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petitedomme21 quote: ORIGINAL: BBBTBW All of the above. Then there are the ones that pretend to be submissive but secretly only want to be vanilla boyfriends...the ones that pretend they are what you want/need/desire only to figure out at the last minute that they are only sex subs and they know you want more....those that do come to the meetings to size you up to see if you are good looking enough to them or to see if your sex appeal is what they are looking for......those that stand outside the establishment looking around like lost puppies when you explicitely told them what you would be wearing and they should come to the table you are sitting at to introduce themselves...the list goes on.... I had the same impression after the last disappointment (2 days ago). We were both switches so I thought Great! But sometimes the guys seem to check you out, Is she goodlooking/Dommey enough for being considered a free Pro-Domme (many subs I think are like that)? Thank God I am attractive but not the bitchy latex-clad Domme, I am more interested in the person in front of me rather than the role. Or sometimes they will tell you they're single (because you make clear you want a relatioship and all) but then you fnd out they've girlfriends/wives etc who are too inhibited etc hence they need their release. They would use you and then throw you away. One day they're crazy about you filling your mobile with texts and then the next they disappear and they get offended if you are cold when they come back to you (when they feel like turning back to 'kinky mood'). I've just got a name for these people: losers! Their loss, not mine, not ours! [:D] Dommes/Switches unite against timewasters!!! A. P.S. I thought I was the only one going through this. I see you are in the Uk, so I would think there are plenty available subs. Why not try munches etc, you are more likely to meet genuine people.

cloudboy -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 7:47:41 AM)
quote: I am picky. I need my boy or girl to be physically attractive to me, to be mentally attractive to me and to be emotionally attachable to me. I think your approach sounds pretty smart to me. The first thing any couple wants is a male-to-female connection: attraction and social compatibility. On top and into that you can overlay D/S. When you have attraction and social compatibility, you have a foundation to build more and you have a basis to work through problems and incongruities. You don't sound picky to me at all here. I would take the above and no D/S than D/S without the above. Being poly, however, I don't have to find everything in one person.

petitedomme21 -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 7:53:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Unrepentant1 quote: ORIGINAL: petitedomme21 quote: ORIGINAL: BBBTBW All of the above. Then there are the ones that pretend to be submissive but secretly only want to be vanilla boyfriends...the ones that pretend they are what you want/need/desire only to figure out at the last minute that they are only sex subs and they know you want more....those that do come to the meetings to size you up to see if you are good looking enough to them or to see if your sex appeal is what they are looking for......those that stand outside the establishment looking around like lost puppies when you explicitely told them what you would be wearing and they should come to the table you are sitting at to introduce themselves...the list goes on.... I had the same impression after the last disappointment (2 days ago). We were both switches so I thought Great! But sometimes the guys seem to check you out, Is she goodlooking/Dommey enough for being considered a free Pro-Domme (many subs I think are like that)? Thank God I am attractive but not the bitchy latex-clad Domme, I am more interested in the person in front of me rather than the role. Or sometimes they will tell you they're single (because you make clear you want a relatioship and all) but then you fnd out they've girlfriends/wives etc who are too inhibited etc hence they need their release. They would use you and then throw you away. One day they're crazy about you filling your mobile with texts and then the next they disappear and they get offended if you are cold when they come back to you (when they feel like turning back to 'kinky mood'). I've just got a name for these people: losers! Their loss, not mine, not ours! [:D] Dommes/Switches unite against timewasters!!! A. P.S. I thought I was the only one going through this. I see you are in the Uk, so I would think there are plenty available subs. Why not try munches etc, you are more likely to meet genuine people. I did try that and clubs too. All is all well until they can release their urges. I know there are genuine honest subs/Switches so I guess it's just a matter of trying and trying. Thanks for your suggestion [;)]

cloudboy -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 7:56:16 AM)
When you elevate being a slave above the relationship with a guy, most will will balk. This does not surprise me in the least.

petitedomme21 -> RE: Single Femdoms - what was lacking? (4/15/2007 7:59:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy When you elevate being a slave up and above being in a relationship with a guy, most will will balk. This does not surprise me in the least. Sorry, you were referring to my comment? [:D] If so, no, not at all. It's the other way round actually.

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