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RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/14/2007 9:53:52 PM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudlyspoiled
I am drifting from the point but, do you find it a turn off when you met someone you are interested in and find they have had sexual relationships with other people you know or may socialize with? OR they have been sexual with someone in which you question their safety practices?

Am I odd in desiring to find someone who has not been passed around so to speak?

I had a touch of jealousy this last week that I really had to check...
I am in a all women group that discusses kinks and fetishes and such... and I started a topic on deep throating cock which is my thrill and asked how others felt about it.
The domme who started the group ansered she deepthroated and did it well, for the best dom she knows. The green color showed its ugly face, but I have had pictures in my head of her sucking Sir ever since.
ughhhh... rrrr
I told Sir about it.
He was very comforting and very quick to remind me that was years ago that she was his sub and she is a much better domme than she ever was sub.
I still cant seem to get it out of my mind that "my thrill" was once in her mouth and throat.... its like stuck on slow slip stream.

Not exactly what you are asking about ps but I guess close enough.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to proudlyspoiled)

Post #: 21

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/14/2007 10:00:16 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudlyspoiled
I am drifting from the point but, do you find it a turn off when you met someone you are interested in and find they have had sexual relationships with other people you know or may socialize with? OR they have been sexual with someone in which you question their safety practices?

Am I odd in desiring to find someone who has not been passed around so to speak?

I dont find it odd at al not to like to socalize with someone you know may have had sex with your new significant other. That is awkward at best, and occasionally can cause problems within a social group. As for whether or not I question their safety practices... if there is a question as to whether or not they were safe I do not interact with them. I am not willing to chance that.
As for wanting someone who hasnt been passed around... the older I get the less important that becomes. I am going to have a hard time meeting someone now who hasnt had a few girlfriends before me, but I am ok with that. I dont want to hear about them, and I prefer someone not have children becasue that means more likely than not they will have to interact with their exs. I dont mind someone who has stayed friends, but I dont want to be their friend. And the times I ahve had sig others with kids, the relationship between them and their ex was never good and its drama Id ratehr not involve myself with. But thats just me

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to proudlyspoiled)

Post #: 22

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/14/2007 10:51:35 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Depends. Well if they've slept with all a 100 over a few months.. i'd prolly sum them up as a player and a slut..... and lose interest.........

If they are open and honest.. "hey i like sex.. they like sex.. " and it was all on the up and up... i'd think about it.. but my first assessement wouldnt be far from my mind and no way in hell would i be hopping into bed with them any time soon.

If they slept with a bunch of skanks and trash...... i'd lose respect.. my interest would disappear...

Depends on what level of trash it equates to, i suppose. What you describe can be done in a tactful, respectful, honest, way with morals and all that. I'd evaulate the situation to see if it was a symptom of them being trash or not.

And if not.......... then nah, i wouldnt be bothered and would actually enjoy it. You'd have about a million opportunities to learn about the person. Which would further credit or discredit the person. Not that you believe everything you hear, but you store information about them for later to see if its true.

Not a turn off - just a reason to be skeptical about their sincerity and an opening to learn about who they are and not just what they want you to see.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 23

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/14/2007 11:04:57 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

notty, what did you make this reply for? The girl was sincere.
Goofy thing.
: p

TM

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

you are so alone, darlin'....that kinda sick is justewwwwwwwwww.

perhaps if you could tone it down, I don't know.

But really, I have searched many threads, and you are just so wrong.

Ron

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 24

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/14/2007 11:09:13 PM

tulinwl

Posts: 37
Joined: 3/4/2007
Status: offline

Practice very safe sex. You can have relations with many people - but just make sure your health is protected at ALL times.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 25

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/14/2007 11:13:27 PM

minnetar

Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline

i think Master Ron was trying to be funny.

minnetar

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 26

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/14/2007 11:17:33 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

yesssss his cerebral dry wit can be a bit grating, at times.
He knows I adore him, don't ya ronnie baby?
; )
TM

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to minnetar)

Post #: 27

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 12:17:50 AM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I recently attended my first munch and was the only single one there. I could've scened with the attached Doms, but chose to watch instead. Playing with an attached Dom would feel to me like I was stepping on someone else's territory, kinda like women who knowingly date and sleep with married men. Passing around isn't my thing. Guess it's just my stupid morals getting in the way.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 4/15/2007 12:18:37 AM >

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Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 28

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 2:10:51 AM

StacyCat

Posts: 112
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

So, if someone is new to your area, and you dont know his previous sexual partners, does that make it better? Is it just the interaction with his other partners that becomes an issue?

How many partners does it take for a prospective partner to fall into a problem? 100? 10? 5? What if it were three, but you knew all three, why is that different than 10 that you do not know?

But, you also have to practice what you preach. How would you feel if your prospective sexual partner says he will not fuck you because you dated X person 5 years ago? Would that be fair in your eyes?

As long as someone is safe, consensual, and honest, I just dont care.

(in reply to proudlyspoiled)

Post #: 29

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 3:39:14 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

The older you are the more you realize our community is small and we all have pasts. Plus, another point, some on here have talked about their random and plentiful sex experiences openly. I respect these folks and am not criticizing them for one aspect of their lives. Worrying about past relationships is a form of jealousy. We don’t necessary care that they have played before, but we compare ourselves to past partners and wonder how we measure up. We feel threatened.

If we get past that jealousy, it can be valuable to discuss past passions and learn about desires, boundaries and problems. It may change how you look at the other, but keep in mind it is the past and did happen, after all. You both share and give the other an insight to what you want as you learn about the other’s emotions and physical desires.

The point is that you are going to build a much stronger relationship this time around. You may have loved your old car, but the newer, better quality one, will surpass it as your favorite. When you come to love your new car more, the old one looses its shine to memories of when it broke down on the interstate and you burn off the past, persistent, surrounding mist with the heat of present day reality.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to proudlyspoiled)

Post #: 30

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 4:38:08 AM

ChainedExistence

Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

It sounds as if you were going to enjoy your role as "teacher" and were disappointed that you might not be able to fulfill it. In fact, no matter what past anyone has, they don't have a past with YOU. Every relationship presents new opportunities for learning and growth. Let's say you adore flogging and then find this new person has experienced that activity before. It really doesn't mean all that much, because I'm sure everyone has variations in their style, timing, types of floggers, and so on. If this person interested you before you knew, then you liked the person those previous relationships helped to create. We are a sum of our pasts, and they color the person we become. Obviously those previous relationships were lacking in some regard or this person would still be in them. While this may not be your opportunity to be their first relationship, it can be your chance to be their best.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 31

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 7:57:30 AM

MistressDoMe

Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

I don't want someone that is known for being promiscuous, and has a reputation
for getting around.
We all have a right to set the bar at a level that is comfortable for us.
I have found that most of the people that enjoy and desire a lot of different partners,
usually don't change and settle down with one for long anyway.
Again, we all have a right to have standards and select mates that we are comfortable
with, comfortable being with in public and WIITWD settings.

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Post #: 32

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 8:20:53 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I'd have to say I'd find them less interesting for a relationship because they obviously don't seem to be capable of maintaining something for the long term- whatever the reason or whoever it's with is irrelevant- the past inability to commit or make good judgements in commitment is an issue for me.

However, fucking/playing with someone is hardly enough reason and doesn't show much to me. Back in the Boston/DC/Baltimore scenes, part of the fun in meeting someone new was trying to play the 6 degrees game and see how many common connections you had. My friends were all people who played and fucked fairly casually with people- but did not confuse playing/fucking with having an actual relationship. That contingent existed, but those are also the people who tend to burn themselves out in a few years also.

The good news for the OP is that newbies are always streaming in, so she might have a chance with one of them if prior experience really is such an issue for her.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MistressDoMe)

Post #: 33

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 8:31:50 AM

virgovstaurus

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline

Well just take him to the vet and have him checked over before doing anything sexual with him, just common sense really seeing as you cant account for the actions of everyone else they've been with.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 34

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 8:40:07 AM

MistressDoMe

Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

If you read the OP's thread, she was stating that she did not feel comfortable,
being in certain circles with someone so well known.
Everyone does not want to be with someone that has been around the block
with a lot of the people they socialize with.
She does not want someone who has had relationships with others in the same
circle, I totally understand this.
To me, if everyone has been or played with my partner, he is not that special.
IMHO

< Message edited by MistressDoMe -- 4/15/2007 8:41:27 AM >

(in reply to virgovstaurus)

Post #: 35

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 9:11:34 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudlyspoiled

I know I am opening a can of worms so I will apologize in advance. But I really need to know if my way of thinking is off.

I know the lifestyle is about having different views and a sort of sexual independance and a type of freedom. How is there such a thing as too much or not having enough?

The reason I am asking this is because I met someone recently that I really liked...and part of the reason I like him was because I thought he was new to area so I hate to say this term but he was "fresh meat". As we talked I found he was not as new as I thought as he had lived in the area sometime ago and we knew some of the same people.

I am drifting from the point but, do you find it a turn off when you met someone you are interested in and find they have had sexual relationships with other people you know or may socialize with? OR they have been sexual with someone in which you question their safety practices?

Am I odd in desiring to find someone who has not been passed around so to speak?

I don't give a shit. But then again, I've had more then my fair share of partners. I prefer that they haven't had sex with a very close friend, but even that is just a preference. The only line I draw is that I will not fuck someone who fucked one of my family members. Asides from that, I insist on clean STD reports. *shrugs* Valyraen doesn't seem to care about having a girl who has been "passed around", as you put it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/15/2007 9:18:52 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to proudlyspoiled)

Post #: 36

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 11:27:35 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

I don't so much mind how many partners my partner has had. But I do mind if that person has been with my friend or a family member. Those kind of sceneries can often cause drama and that's just a whirlwind I'd rather stay clear of. So I do up to some point understand your concerns proudlyspoiled. I do also make reservations if my potential partner is known to have been with people or a person of very questionable background. Call me snobby but I am picky up to a certain level.

edit: this was a reply to the original post.

< Message edited by Viridana -- 4/15/2007 11:29:13 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 37

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 1:14:46 PM

proudlyspoiled

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StacyCat

So, if someone is new to your area, and you dont know his previous sexual partners, does that make it better? Is it just the interaction with his other partners that becomes an issue?

How many partners does it take for a prospective partner to fall into a problem? 100? 10? 5? What if it were three, but you knew all three, why is that different than 10 that you do not know?

But, you also have to practice what you preach. How would you feel if your prospective sexual partner says he will not fuck you because you dated X person 5 years ago? Would that be fair in your eyes?

As long as someone is safe, consensual, and honest, I just dont care.

I know this will make me sound bad but yes it makes me feel better...I am not presented with the knowledge he has fucked my friends or my "enemies" for that fact.

As to how many partners...well truth is 1 is too many...if I meet someone who has fucked someone I know...meaning someone I consider a friend he is automatically Xed off my list...If it is someone I know in the sense I have met or may have a brief knowledge of then I look at that previous person and do my homework...if they are cautious then I am ok. If they are open like 7-11 then they are Xed from my list.

As to practicing what I preach...I guess I am prude but I have attended the same parties for 6-7 years and in that time I have had sex with 3 people that "ran" in the same group and 1 of those I was in a long term relationship with. So if a person had the same feelings about me, yes I would understand but I would also ask for an explanation because the truth is they may know something about that person that I don't and SHOULD.

_____________________________

"If you touch my mind, I will always remember you;
If you touch my heart, I will never forget you;
If you touch my soul--You will capture my heart"

(in reply to StacyCat)

Post #: 38

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 1:17:07 PM

proudlyspoiled

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence

It sounds as if you were going to enjoy your role as "teacher" and were disappointed that you might not be able to fulfill it. In fact, no matter what past anyone has, they don't have a past with YOU. Every relationship presents new opportunities for learning and growth. Let's say you adore flogging and then find this new person has experienced that activity before. It really doesn't mean all that much, because I'm sure everyone has variations in their style, timing, types of floggers, and so on. If this person interested you before you knew, then you liked the person those previous relationships helped to create. We are a sum of our pasts, and they color the person we become. Obviously those previous relationships were lacking in some regard or this person would still be in them. While this may not be your opportunity to be their first relationship, it can be your chance to be their best.

Actually this has nothing to do with a teacher role as I prefer not to take that responsibility for I am sure you know with knowledge comes responsibility and well I have enough of my own to have to add to it. But thank you for the input it is something to think about

_____________________________

"If you touch my mind, I will always remember you;
If you touch my heart, I will never forget you;
If you touch my soul--You will capture my heart"

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Post #: 39

RE: Am I alone in this? - 4/15/2007 2:27:34 PM

TrojanManCo

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/6/2007
Status: offline

personaly i find it would only be wierd if one of his past relationships was eaither someone directly related to you, or someone you your self were in a past relationship with and it didnt end well... other wise if you like him you like him.. trust your instincts

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 40

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