The deliciousness of the chase. (Full Version)

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puella -> The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:08:38 PM)

I had an interesting discussion today with Michael and thought I would bring part  (there were actually several interesting parts which would be good for forum discussion) of it here for some other ideas to be thrown in, as the greater portion of something I am mulling over is not ready for a topic yet.

The chase, the taming, etc etc…

I think it is innate in almost any man to enjoy the deliciousness of the chase.  Not all, of course, seek only a perpetual chase, but I do believe that many really do enjoy the thrill of the chase in a woman.

What happens to the women who are not runners?  I think there is a perception that they are ‘easy’.  That may or may not be the case.

I know, for my part, I am not a runner.  I do not enjoy it, I do not find it delicious and on many levels it would be nothing but an artifice.   (By runner, I mean a  chick who runs a heady chase). 

So what do you do with a person who doesn’t lead a chase and simply kneels or stands  (by that I mean yields or doesn’t).  What is the fun in a person like that?  What are the problems with a person like that? 

I am thinking, now that I have written this post, that it does not do my earlier conversation much justice, and hope that perhaps Michael will hop in later on and give it a better perspective.

Anyway.. would love to hear others input.



hisannabelle -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:13:47 PM)

greetings puella,

i don't like to be made to run, i don't enjoy being chased, it's just not my thing. if a man is only attracted when i'm playing hard to get, it won't last very long...to me, it's a game playing issue, and i have never had good experiences with it. i am pretty up-front about how i feel, because the rest to me is a waste of time.

just a humble opinion...i would be interested to hear from some who enjoy the chase about why it's a thrill for them. thanks for posting this :)

respectfully,
annabelle.



puella -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:17:34 PM)

Hey, thanks for the reply hisannabelle,

I really did wonder if my OP would make sense to anyone but me, so I am glad to see you understand my madness hehe.

Yes, I understand what you mean... on one hand everyone hates 'drama' and 'game playing' ... on the other hand, they crave it.. dunno?

Maybe I am just too old.  I just find it really disingenous of me to pretend to be something I am not, even if that makes me less fun to 'nab'.  I just do not find it at all appealing, or at all honest to my nature to try to throw up road blocks and hurdles... I am probably way off the mark here though.. better have another Negra!



PsyVamp -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:21:58 PM)

I don't like to be chased...if I run, I'm probably not interested to begin with.

I do, however, like to be the one doing the hunting...but I don't chase.

Psy



puella -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:24:09 PM)

I knew I was not being clear! [:D]


That is just what I meant... what about chasing do you enjoy, and why, and what about those who do not lead you on a chase do you find less than thrilling?



DiurnalVampire -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:25:57 PM)

I dont like being chased.  If I am interested, I will stand my ground and let someone know. I also dont particularly like to chase.  If I am interested in a boy or girl, I need to know they are interested or I wont pursue.  If they are too shy and need some coaxing, that I will do.  Heaven knows Angel took enough coaxing before I got him.  However I will not chase someone playing "hard to get" intentionaly, nor will I continue to pursue someone who indicates to me they arent interested.  If they dont want to at least act interested then I dont want to be with them.  Whats the use of chasing someone who deosnt want to be with you anyway?

DV



hisannabelle -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:28:45 PM)

greetings puella,

see, i enjoy chasing even less than i enjoy being chased, hehehe. but yes, i understand where you are coming from...i definitely agree that i would much rather be less interesting for this than to attempt to make myself more interesting by doing it. i feel like i'd be misrepresenting myself.

annabelle.



puella -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:36:37 PM)

There are many things, in my dotate, that I have realized I would rather not do than to simulate a false 'appealingness' .... but that is another post which might take me more than one more beer to er.. fess up to!



PsyVamp -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:45:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I knew I was not being clear! [:D]

That is just what I meant... what about chasing do you enjoy, and why, and what about those who do not lead you on a chase do you find less than thrilling?


I am not sure I can put it into words, it is probably a control thing.  When I say "hunt" I mean that I size up the man and initiate contact.  To me though, sizing him up consists of watching him for a while and seeing how he moves, listening to how he speaks, watching how he reacts to people.  If I am feeling in a particularly controlling or playful mood, I will usually come on pretty strong.
Chasing I will not do, if they react negatively to the "hunting", I let them alone and move on.

It is after they are "caught" that I may find they are not as interesting as I percieved them to be and then I "release" them.  My instincts are not always right and, face it, some people just pretend to be something they are not until they feel more comfortable with you.  After they are comfortable, they show their true colors and are just not what I thought they were.

I hope that made some kind of sense, its a bit late for me to be coherent.

Psy



SimplyMichael -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:46:33 PM)

I know I am times guilty of not appreciating that which comes easy over that which comes hard regardless of the inherent quality offered.  At the same time I detest being tested which in many ways is what the chase is about.  However, many of the women who have evoked the strongest reaction from me were ones I never quite had fully in my grasp or at least had to make sure the ropes they were bound with were firm and tight.  The question becomes how does one both strike a balance between these factors, what parts are good what aren't.   This is a far more complex and deep question than it at first appears, at least for me.

As introspective as I try to be on these boards, this is an issue I am still mulling over as it wasn't me who went down this path, Puella brought it up and I am still mulling it all over in my head.  I may perhaps share what I discover but I am not yet sure where this line of inquiry will lead me.  It will however I think, prove very interesting for me.



WiseCracknSadist -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:48:35 PM)

The hunt is the best. Though it's hard to get a good scent online. There's just something about finding a woman and making her yours. It makes you feel alive.



puella -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 8:59:20 PM)

.. nothing fun about keeping the woman who is eagerly yours, your own?



minnetar -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 9:10:13 PM)

i think it is a great question and understood completely.  i feel many want something that seems to be unattainable because then it  has more meaning when they have won that person.

minnetar



hisannabelle -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 9:44:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: minnetar

i think it is a great question and understood completely.  i feel many want something that seems to be unattainable because then it  has more meaning when they have won that person.

minnetar


greetings all...

going along the same vein of minnetar's post...why does it have more meaning, for those that it does? is it a psychological thing or does it actually add value to the relationship?

out of curiosity, for those who have had relationships that both involved a chase and that didn't...do you think that made a difference to the relationship down the road?

annabelle.



ownedgirlie -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 9:48:24 PM)

There wasn't a chase in my situation.  My Master does not chase after girls.  He did once tell me, however, "You will either run to me or away from me.  Time will tell which it is."  He laid himself out there. Told me what I would expect with him. His actions backed his words.  As scared as I was at the time, I ran right to him and held tight.  No chase, no fuss, no games.



willowspirit -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 9:49:39 PM)

Sounds so typical of games Vanillas play! One can't take any woman and turn her into a submissive. Yes, she may agree to "bottom" now and then, but think of it a bit. LEADING a man on a chase? Fooling him? Manipulating the situation? Playing games and the deceit involved? OUCH!
Puella, please forgive my silly deep-end subbie-ness, but such a situation doesn't seem very conducive to building honest communication and absolute trust  -- which has to flow both ways. Sure, it seems all fun (maybe) to some, but I've heard Dominants talk of  'openning' a submissive, and winning her (or him) over, and getting her to fully let go and trust Him. To many Dominants this is what they live for... This  is the "chase" for them.

Can a submissive turn anyone into a Dominant? Can a Dominant turn anyone into a submissive? Personality traits are inborn -- not made, not forced. Topping and bottoming are positions or roles; and they are transcient and fleeting.

Someone may force or entice me into going through the motions, but that won't win me... "me" -- that  little "i" who I protect deep inside me. Force, trickery and lies won't get Him the Trust, Joy and Respect he seeks. I guess game playing and leading a Dominant on won't get the "game player" (can't say submissive -- because she's really not one) the returned trust, joy and love she wants either. 
Consistent, steady contact impresses me. LOL -- A Stubborn Dominant's gentle persistence.  -- It's like DV said.

But then there's the "brats" and the "topping from the bottom" thingy. People want different thngs, it's when we don't know what we want, or who we are that brings us disappointments.



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/14/2007 10:03:49 PM)

I don't chase submissives.  I don't enjoy it.
I don't like being hunted either.  It smacks of drama, which I do my level best to avoid.
That being said, I have found myself, from time to time, mistaking the setting down of rules for drama. 
I have also recognized some passive-aggressive tendencies in myself as a result of this perceived drama.  So by extension, the chase brings out undesirable qualities in me.







defiantbadgirl -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/15/2007 12:02:43 AM)

Many men like "the chase" because they thrive on challenge. The idea behind being hard to get is that if a man has to work hard to win a woman, he will respect and cherish her, treat her like a prize instead of a doormat. Lying and cheating is childish game playing. Being hard to get is not. It keeps women from being used (in a bad way) and discarded. I'm all for it.



jaymckenas -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/15/2007 12:50:05 AM)

For me it's all in the pursuit, not necessarily in finding the physical individual, but the pursuit thereafter. The ongoing quest to become more intimate, more understanding, and more close with that individual. It is indeed the steps leading up to the establishment of any relationship, non-vanilla, vanilla, any of them, that truly defines the relationship and establishes just what sort of bond the two individuals have. It's building a foundation between two individuals, and there is of course, the thrill of finally finding that perfect component that has been missing in one's own life.

Cheers,
Jay



Jevousadore -> RE: The deliciousness of the chase. (4/15/2007 1:13:58 AM)

I completely agree, jaymckenas.  And I admit I love the chase.  Being prey to his Predator. 

Whether D/s or vanilla relationships, the chase is important to me.  The butterflies, the excitement, even the fear of knowing he has focused on me.  Not playing hard to get, but that instinct to flee from being captured. 

When a previous Dom met me, he said "You belong to me.  Are you ready to be pursued?"  The intesity scared me, but that time of pursuit allowed us both to discover so much about each other that otherwise might have been missed, and the excitement of it did not fade away but was a kept element.  It definitely was and continued to be a dynamic both desired and continued thru out our relationship.    



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