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Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 4:12:26 AM   
CDOM3


Posts: 15
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		In a brief exchange of messages the other day, the word 'love' came up. A girl mentioned that the word is seldom used.
Over the years it has been, is and I have little doubt that sub/slaves have, do and will continue to aggressively use the word love. This lifestyle tears away the accepted bounds of 'prpoer' behaivor. The physical, mental and emotional need to surrender and the right to expose these most primal of needs, drives the sub/slave to bare her body yes but also her heart and mind, to feel, live, regail in the shear blissful passion of her very soul.
The want, need and desire to be loved so overwhelmingly, so completely, so intimatley that to not say the word, express her heart felt love in words, would be to deny the very purpose she is for - to serve for pleasure.
What Dom or Master does not long to hear those words. 'i love you Sir.'
For many, it is the final piece of the puzzle. The completion of the act of owning, controling.
It is the purpose of the sub/slave to give, surrender their all.
But it also occured to Me that is it also not the purpose of the Dom or Master to give Their all in owning?
Yes in arrangged scenes and sessions, specific wants and needs are addressed and fulfilled and their is a conditional love shared but the love that I'm referring to here is the love of the heart of the sub/slave that surrenders.
Now understand that I am 'Old School' so perhaps a different perspective. It is a Dominant or Masters duty of Responsibility to protect and provide for all of the sub/slaves needs. When we touch, we touch more then the body. The sub/slave offers themselves, all of themselves that they are capable of, for service and pleasure.
While I don't believe it would be considered cruel abuse, perhaps it would be viewed as use to expand the sub/slave's capabilities, her limits and teach her extended service and thus more enjoyable pleasure without nurturing and cherishing her most precious gift, the love of and from her heart.
It is one of the perhaps commonly accepted practices that Dom's or Masters are not to show emotions. Bullocks! If a Man spreads, excites and arouses a girl to the peak of her sensual/sexual passion so that she is pleasing in her response and then taken with unbounded lust, that certainly is emotional passion.
If it is acceptable to express this then why not the simpliest of words in loving aftercare. 'I love you My little sub.'
It most definately not a sign of weakness but I also acknowledge that many Dom's anf Masters enter this lifestyle to NOT to have to deal with this emotion. The control of NOT having to open their heart. The control of owning anothers heart without the responsibility of protecting it.
What does love have to do with it?
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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 4:30:26 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		we can't share our house and our lives with someone that we don't care about, and we won't accept submission from anyone who doesn't return our care.  Doesn't have to be what most people call 'love,' but there does have to be affection (although, of course, love would be ideal).

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 4:33:03 AM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		I agree with the entirety of your post. I am here for a commitment, a lasting one even, however I may not vocalize love as often as a slave, I only say it when I feel it moving me. To me the word, over time, loses all sense of itself and is used like socks, thrown on and off and few people reserve the word for moments when they are "feeling" it and not just saying.
 
P.S. My apologies if I am rambling, I haven't slept in a few days. 

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 5:16:54 AM   
darkinshadows


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That wasn't rambling Troll - it was lovely and pertinent.
Peace and Rapture


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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 5:24:06 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with Troll here, beautiful post. We tell each other all the time "i love you". But we can also see it in our actions daily. On many a post i have stated without that feeling for me there just would not be submission of any sort.
 
Loki, go to bed already!

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 5:36:14 AM   
barefootprincess


Posts: 66
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		Nice words of incouragement!
  I had thought love was just a fanatasy. I even had to make a child to find out it was a real emotion.
I did find the emotion different in loving a Master though. I found that it (love) really was there.
Actuaully I find is makes one weak to a point. Giving whatever you have is so hard.Playing with a Dom would be one thing, but I really dont think I could submit with out love.
  barefoot

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 5:36:47 AM   
kate


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/10/2004
Status: offline 		to me to tell a partner that i love them is not something i take lightly beacsue to me it holds so much more than just the words.... but everytime i leave the house i tell me roomates that i love them and when i'll be back....and every time i call home when i'm saying goodbuy to my mom or dad i tell them that i love them....but they are 3 compleatly different kinds of love........i have in the past told a partner that i loved Him and later realised that i DID love him, but was not "in love" with him.... for me to tell a Dom that i am in love with Him would take a fair bit of time....... i just hope that the person i choose to say that too realises the differance

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 5:49:54 AM   
darkinshadows


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Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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If my Boy didn't tell me he was there, and that he loved me, after a scene like he always does when I am coming down, then I wouldn't be able to scene.  It is that simple.

Love to me is important in a LTR of any kind - not just BDSM.  But unfortunately, many people think and believe it to be the only thing.  Love has got much to do with it - But love isn't always enough.
Three words used so often without thought or little contemplation and wasted so many times that they become unimportant and just like any three words.  It saddens me to hear words thrown around with such nonchalant abandon.
Within my relationship with my Boy - we have trust, respect, art, communication and love.

Peace and Rapture


< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 4/15/2007 5:50:09 AM >

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 6:01:27 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		to go as far as we go, to be a naked as we allow ourselves to be, to touch the depths of the darkness, with in the human soul... love needs to be there to steady steady the fall.

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 8:01:03 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		As always, it really comes down to the dynamics of the relationship. I know couples who are not in love, but do have a strong emotional attachment. It works for them. Others seem to have a very successful relationship, but they are not emotionally attached at all. I think for those couples, it is the intensity of the power exchange that makes it work.

For many, though, the foundation of the relationship is love. Many subs/slaves cannot reach the depth of their submission unless they are in love with their Doms/Masters. Although it is not mentioned as often, many Doms/Masters need that foundation of love as much as their subs/slaves do.

As a rule of thumb, I believe the more naked Master and slave allow themselves to be in their relationship, the more likely love is going to be a strong part of that relationship. There are so many permutations and combinations, though, that love cannot be said to be a prerequisite.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 8:10:01 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		for some... love has nothing to do with it...

for some... love has everything to do with it...


I for one much prefer the latter to the former.  Love to me binds the people to a relationship.  It moves the focus from themselves to focus on the other and the relationship itself.  I question when love is not part of the relationship... if the focus ever moves from oneself to the relationship.  That without love, I wonder if the individuals are only using the other and the relationship to serve their self-centered interests.  Taking what they can and maybe draining the lemon dry, then going to find a new lemon.  I wonder if there are some that use the word love, but it is a shallow use of the word instead of the intense devotion that it leads one towards.  Love to me is a powerful word if it used with the feelings that back it up.  It moves one from the self-centered focus to that of a focus to another person and a relationship.  We become givers instead of takers and as result of our giving out of love we recieve more than we could ever take.  Instead sucking the lemon dry.. we plant an orchard reap the rewards of that effort.

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 8:22:40 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

To me the word, over time, loses all sense of itself and is used like socks, thrown on and off and few people reserve the word for moments when they are "feeling" it and not just saying.


i dont throw it "off" but i use it frequently.  Its the last thing i say to those i love before i depart their company.  Even if its a 5 minute short phone to my mother, it ends in "love ya"   Same with Master.. except its abit more there.. heh... With anyone i love.. its how i end the convo.  Now it always catches my family by surprise (wasnt raised by them) and they always stumble after i do it... and yeah i can almost say its a habit of mine now....... but its habit i am glad i have.

i think the worst thing in the world would be to depart company from some one you love......and something bad happen.... and to have not told them.  I dont want something happening to some one i love... and not saying it enough.. i want them to know... to hear it.. and people can know it with out hearing it.. but its always good to reconfirm it...

i always reconfirm it one last time.............. just incase........ i never see them again. 


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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 8:26:28 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		My M tells me every single day several times that he loves me.  I have served without love, and now with it...I can say without a doubt that this is much more fulfilling in every way.

I love that he can use me in every way possible one minute, then right after tell me how much he loves me...there is nothing better.

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Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 8:30:59 AM   
UntamedStar


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/3/2006
Status: offline 		Do you know the japanese have over 20 words for different levels of 'Love'...and unfortunately we only have the one, which can encompass a whole range of emotions. This is where we get hurt and confused....

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 8:34:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
http://www.collarchat.com/m_651231/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#651253
What's love got to do with it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_632033/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#632105
Loving your property

http://www.collarchat.com/m_609494/mpage_2/key_love/tm.htm#609934
Ownership and Love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_545462/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#545482
What does love got to do with it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_538921/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#538965
The Loving Dom

http://www.collarchat.com/m_499831/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#499881
Don't fall in love with your dom

http://www.collarchat.com/m_477568/mpage_3/key_love/tm.htm#484997
How common is it to fall in love with a submissive or dominant?

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=423736&mpage=1&key=love&#423879
Love and Ms

http://www.collarchat.com/m_282567/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#282615
submissive/slave romantic love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_269031/mpage_1/key_love%252Csubmission/tm.htm#269120
Falling in love with Mistress

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248492/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#248492
true love in a relationship

http://www.collarchat.com/m_236486/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#236486
balancing commitment and love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_199915/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#199915
love in bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_166085/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#166085
love and D/s

http://www.collarchat.com/m_65043/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#65043
love and bdsm (the unfettered heart)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_150281/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#150281
Is it normal to fall in love with your dom during training?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_125880/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#125880
not allowed to love him, what do I do?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_119832/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#119832
being owned or being loved

http://www.collarchat.com/m_97124/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#97124
subs/masochists and love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_31285/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#31285
can love get in the way?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_14998/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#14998
love in d/s

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2491/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#2491
is love important in a relationship?



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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 9:31:14 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CDOM3

What does love have to do with it?


There are as many definitions of what love is and means to an Ms or Ds relationship are there are relationship styles. For some, romantic love simply MUST be an element or it isn't a valid relationship. For others, the kindness and compassion of a benevolent leader and guide is the kind of love that is offered and desired. I know fantastic relationships based on both.

Master Fire


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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 10:08:03 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		In my experience, it is far easier not to love. To harden one's heart and avoid any of the pain comes with loving. I respect someone more when they open their heart to the potential heartaches that comes with loving. On a personal level,  I am simply not interested in a loveless pairing. I love too much and give too much to pair myself with one who would not return that.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 10:16:59 AM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I agree with the entirety of your post. I am here for a commitment, a lasting one even, however I may not vocalize love as often as a slave, I only say it when I feel it moving me. To me the word, over time, loses all sense of itself and is used like socks, thrown on and off and few people reserve the word for moments when they are "feeling" it and not just saying.

P.S. My apologies if I am rambling, I haven't slept in a few days.
ORIGINAL: FukinTroll


Well said and I agree!

I hope you get some sleep soon!

Tigress~FL

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 10:18:36 AM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings,
i have served both where i loved and where my heart was frozen behind a wall of ice. i realize now that in not allowing myself to love i did not give all of me to the relationships. Yes it can be scary opening ourselves up to love but the rewards are that much greater.
Respectfully

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heart and chain sister to velvetvixen68

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RE: Whats Love got to do with it? - 4/15/2007 10:40:14 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline



Whats Love got to do with it? Nothing at all,If fact that is my yahoo message on my messenger"love has nothing to do with this slave"I am in a committed married relationship,it just happens that we are a married dom couple as well,I can't love a slave/sub as I love her, SO love has nothing at all to do with myM/s relationships,many are willing to serve knowing this fact..as  always just the views of this ol" master 


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