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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 8:41:59 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
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Greetings darkinshadows

thank you for clarifying that.

I can not answer for anyone else; but I will do my best to give my own perspective.

I was raised in a certain way; there is no doubt about that. I said this once before here on the boards in response to another who mentioned that I was docile J

On the street, if I see a man walking towards me, I will stop, lower my head and wait for them to walk past.

I will do the same for an elderly person.

I don’t see that I am forcing my submissive nature on them though; just more a case of showing deference.

If we have company over to our house, I always wait on the men first. The men do not wait on me. If one wishes to wait on their own wife or GF, that is their choice. However, I myself, will always see to the men first. The women who are there know that this is just the way that I am; and out of respect for being in my house, they do not question or make issues of it.

I know several MEN in real life who are submissive. I accept this in them, just as they accept that if they come to my house, THEY will be waited on by me. It’s called respect, once again. If I go to their house, I will take care of Master’s needs; and out of respect for them, I will follow the protocal that they have in place in their own home.

Mutual respect between people is the key to keeping a balance of harmony.

( and just for the record, yes, Master does identify as Gorean J but that does not mean that we can not respect the choices of others )

I wish you well

melissa

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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 8:43:55 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

lol i loved your other thread idea....*grin*

i understand and you make a very good point, thank you for reminding me about those feelings in your usual eloquent way.

submission is not a contest...its a way of being in the world...

you have the opportunity here ,to ask yourself why it bothers you so much,...and why you enjoy being submissive.....likely it was about not needing/wanting to control right?

these people that frustrate you so, are actually your teachers. You now have an opportunity to grow as a submissive, by allowing your self to not need to control how they behave, for you to be happy.

LoL... go ahead CT if you like - run with the other thread...

(i think i'll just hide out from the fallout..lol)

I completely agree, they are my teachers. I tend to think everyone is anyway.

But whether or not its about having power over someone is another matter.

On another thread, there are discussions about abuse. Now if that male we are hypothetically talking about is male and dominant - and tries to force themselves on a submissive... it is seen as an abuse of authority. But because the male in this instance, is submissive, its about 'control' - now that makes no sense to me. They are both one in the same. Force of intent. It doesn't bother me in the sense that I feel the need to control them - simply because I defere to my Boy and he would deal with it (so I am not as strong as people like to believe) but it's not so great that someone is trying to force themself upon me or any other submissive for that matter - no matter what the orientation or sex.

Force is still force.

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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 8:50:04 AM

darkinshadows

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Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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With walking down the street, I respect everyone. Be they male, female, elder or child. I would not become submissive or polite simply based on age, colour, orientation or gender, I treat all people equal.

If it is within your house, I can completely understand and see how that works and that is fantastic that your friends and associates respect that.

What would you do (with obviously your Masters approval) if the situation is reversed? Where a friend maybe a female dominant... whos boys waited on all - even you. Is that just somewhere you would never engage in going - or would you respect their household also - no matter how uncomfortable that may make you?

Peace and Rapture

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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 8:55:07 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
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I had to think about this one for a second. Before I understood and accepted my submissive nature, I did "unknowlingly?" act submissive to guys I dated who were not dominant. But enough negative reactions to just being true to yourself and your nature, and you'll suppress those feelings and that's what I did....... for years and years and years.

Now, I do not "act submissive" nor am I submissive to anyone unless it's in the context of an agreed upon dynamic. But I would say that when encountering certain individuals, I would defer to them, depending on the situation.

But you know, there are probably things we do naturally that could be construed as submissiveness, but I just consider being polite or courteous. *shrugs*

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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 8:57:39 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSubExactly what behavior is being displayed though? I can see a male sub being made very uncomfortable if some fem sub has decided to fetch him drinks/sit at his feet/always moniters his glass to make sure it's not empty/bring him food, defers to his opinion all the time, etc.

yes i agree, the behaviour would make most uncomfortable..but being uncomfortable is a choice...you can choose to not be 'most'....you can choose any reaction you want in any situation....another reaction one could choose is to be flattered, and then gently take the person aside and share the experiance they are having and ask the person how do they feel about stopping.

quote:

So in that situation, I can definately see where a male sub who believes women to be superior would be made very uncomfortable and leaving would be entirely reasonable.

i do agree....being annoyed, telling some one to fuck off and leaving are all choices. all i am saying is that those are not the only ones available to a person....there are choices one could make, that would allow them to stay at the event they are enjoying and to be mentally at peace while there.

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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 8:59:48 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
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quote:

What would you do (with obviously your Masters approval) if the situation is reversed? Where a friend maybe a female dominant... whos boys waited on all - even you. Is that just somewhere you would never engage in going - or would you respect their household also - no matter how uncomfortable that may make you?

Greetings darkinshadows

if we were at this particular womens house, then I would naturally, out of respect for her, follow the protocals in her house. The female dominants that I do visit with in real life expect me to see to my own owners needs; however, if it was known that in her house that her boys were to wait on me, then I would not argue such ( It is not my place to do so ). That is something that is discussed between her and Master.

This one woman that I do refer to we visit with quite a bit; I like her very much as a person, no matter her orientation in life. I respect her, and I respect her household. It does not make me uncomfortable when her slaves wait on me; I understand their desire to please their owner . Out of respect, she would never ask of Master that he allow them to serve him though ( unless of course I was not present )

I hope that this was not confusing

I wish you well

melissa

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Post #: 26

RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 9:05:15 AM

darkinshadows

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From: UK
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quote:

yes i agree, the behaviour would make most uncomfortable..but being uncomfortable is a choice...you can choose to not be 'most'....you can choose any reaction you want in any situation....another reaction one could choose is to be flattered, and then gently take the person aside and share the experiance they are having and ask the person how do they feel about stopping.

Yes, but what if you do that and it doesn't work?

What if they just dont get it? What if they are actually getting off on it? What if they don't want to stop? What if you sit, talk and explain and then walk away only to have them continue to follow you around begging you to dominate them? Saying to you - 'are you absolutely sure you arent able to be my Mistress?'

It isn't about power or control or how it affects you - its purely the other person intent on not taking your no into consideration. If this was a dominant - it would be called abuse. If this was in a everyday setting, your looking at stalking or possible rape scenarios. If a man kisses your feet when they belong to another - how can that be anything other than troublesome?

Peace

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.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 9:27:32 AM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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you make a very interesting case....i personally cant imagine a submissive insisting on being submissive even when clearly asked not to do so just to get off on it...but if that was the case it is troublesome.

in the situation you describe with your friend i think a lil nip is in order.

in a pack of 50 dogs the same dog will be submissive to some and dominate to others, sometimes a dumb dog will ignore the signs such as sent, ears, tail, teeth barring exc...and try to mount a more dominant dog ....when this happens often time a short sharp nip is the only thing that gets through.

that might look like: a sharp look, or a firm no, or even a gritted teeth no...in Jamaica there is a very effective teeth suck/hiss that immediately tell the offender they are not welcome....

but most times if the person is really a submissive, and not just pretending , they are hard wired to pick up on the more subtle clues way before it gets to that.

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

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RE: .over-all. - 4/15/2007 9:33:03 AM

sleazybutterfly

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Joined: 5/15/2006
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I am not submissive to anyone but M, and Sir. My M has earned my trust, respect, and with that my submission. I have to say the same about Sir, we have known each other a long time, and he has earned that in the same ways.

I know that M wouldn't expect me to be submissive to anyone that I don't feel submissive toward. I guess it's nice for me to be secure in the knowledge that he will never put it upon me to serve anyone that I don't have in my heart to serve.

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~Curvylicious
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Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

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