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Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 12:47:26 PM   
PenelopePitstop


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		Hi, It's penny here, the neurotic sub girl from the UK!

Day two into my foray into this great adventure we call BDSM community, I'm a little concerned that I'm not being clear enough about what I'm after. I guess I'm unusual because I'm not looking to hook up with anyone right away - if at all- I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I've just this minute updated my profile so it's a bit clearer (it probably won't be visible on the main site until tomorrow). Quite a lot of people don't seem to be 'getting' the fact that I'm looking for friends, people in the same position etc.

So, question to the floor...does this approach make me a Time Waster? How would you define Time Waster? Got any Time Waster stories that would be good for my education???


_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"
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RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 12:51:18 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		I prefer procrastinator


In all seriousness, I don't think that you are wasting time (yours or anyone elses). If you aren't looking for a relationship and you want to take your time then no one should tell you otherwise.
If that is not what you are asking then I am confused

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 12:54:04 PM   
PenelopePitstop


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		Nope, that's exactly where I'm coming from, thanks :) I just needed to check.

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to siamsa24)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 12:58:04 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are searching "wrong" or that you aren't moving fast enough. You know what makes you comfortable and all you have to do is do it. Nobosy else knows you the way that you do, how can they know what is right for you?

That's just my take on it, it serves me well in my life

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 6:07:35 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		I took a moment to look at your profile just now, I see nothing about it that would cause me to consider you a time waster. You seem like you are being sensible and doing exactly what someone new to all this should be doing, taking your time to learn and find out what is what. To answer your question, I consider a time waster someone who takes up my time under false pretenses for their own gratificaiton or gain. For example, a submissive who might approach me wanting to explore a relationship they never intended to really have. All those so-called "doms" out there who demand you do what they want right away without taking the time to help you learn and gain the education you need to make an informed consent about play are also time-wasters in my opinion.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 7:59:40 PM   
satinn


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline 		Hi Penny,
I think that you will find time wasterers everywhere hon, yes there are a few on this site as there will be anywhere on line, basically if you have stated exactly what you want then you have nothing to be worried about, just choose wisely who you take on as friends...sorry if sounding cynical here once bitten three times shy and all that but what can i say other then just have fun and enjoy

satinn

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RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 8:24:05 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So, question to the floor...does this approach make me a Time Waster?


Nope. It makes you someone who is upfront and honest about what it is that she wants. You earn a whole bunch of respect from me right about now.

Welcome to collarme. I look forward to hearing what it is you have to say.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/23/2005 9:05:38 PM   
deelights


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/9/2004
Status: offline 		If thats wasting time, then I have wasted 3 years online, studying and trying to learn all I an, interacting in chats and forums to try to get a feel for what might be right for me and listening to others experiences. At some point i am sure i will meet Someone in this lifestyle and go offline but I am not rushing out there either, You are investing time.

_____________________________

"Regret is looking behind you, Fear is looking around you, Faith is looking ahead"

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
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RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/24/2005 2:27:58 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		As the others have said, no, its not what I would deem time wasting. Once you are upfront about what you are looking for anyone who expects you to fall at their feet etc is really the time waster as they haven't read your profile.

There are some good munches in the UK.... when you feel more comfie they can be a good place to go meet and make new friends.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to deelights)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/24/2005 4:48:46 AM   
ProScatman


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/28/2004
From: Ohio
Status: offline 		Hi Penny: Even before I read your profile; I knew you weren't a "Time Waister"! I have a few close friends here whom I know I will probably never hook up with, but none the less they are close friends to me. Then, there are others who are known to me from the Forums. Like you, I hope to make more friends and maybe, find that special one that is! Actually, I thought you had a well written profile for someone who claims to be new in the lifestyle. I'm sure in time you will make many friends; some closer than others, and find this site to be very enlightening. All you need do is ask about anything and you'll find out there are many good people here who will do their best to answer your inquiries. Welcome!
quote:

ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop

Hi, It's penny here, the neurotic sub girl from the UK!

Day two into my foray into this great adventure we call BDSM community, I'm a little concerned that I'm not being clear enough about what I'm after. I guess I'm unusual because I'm not looking to hook up with anyone right away - if at all- I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I've just this minute updated my profile so it's a bit clearer (it probably won't be visible on the main site until tomorrow). Quite a lot of people don't seem to be 'getting' the fact that I'm looking for friends, people in the same position etc.

So, question to the floor...does this approach make me a Time Waster? How would you define Time Waster? Got any Time Waster stories that would be good for my education???




_____________________________

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

Have a good day, Mike

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/24/2005 11:51:39 AM   
Rapier


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/17/2004
Status: offline 		I don’t consider learning or being up front as wasting time. You’re going to discover a lot more about yourself as you explore and build a foundation for wherever your tastes and personal development lead you. In a sense that’s precisely what we do when we start exploring this lifestyle. Would you move into a house with no foundation or one that is poorly designed?

Welcome aboard.

Rapier

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/24/2005 7:31:41 PM   
PenelopePitstop


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		Thank you, wonderful people :)

Dear oh dear, I'm only into day three and I'm starting to feel like such a Goddess!!! There's been a few oddballs, but nothing like what I was expecting! I must admit, there's a few people who I'm judging unfairly ahead of time due to their insistence on text speak. DAMN I HATE TEXT SPEAK!!! I may be submissive but I like to think I'm worth a proper sentence . lol. <----ohoh double meaning in there...

One thing I wasn't allowing for was 'what happens when you start talking to someone and suddenly start fancying the hell out of them'. Stupid me. But he's married, and I respect marriage. Damn shame though...hot guy...no names mentioned.

I'm definitely getting the right kind of responses, and my boyfriend is taking it all pretty well. Now I'm just struggling with the problem that friendship may not be enough...I REALLY should have taken that into account.

Just want to shout out a special thanks to Siamsa24 because she's looking after me on here and is a veritable fountain of wisdom. Thanks luv :)

Now who should I go for, the guy with the manor, the guy with the bike or the guy with the incredible mind...?

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to Rapier)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/24/2005 7:36:50 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop

How would you define Time Waster?



A time waster is someone you don't want to hear from or wished you hadn't heard from.



(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/27/2005 1:10:59 AM   
Chilli


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		My definition of a time waster is the twerp who insists on messaging me twice a week demanding I call his mobile because *He* will be my *Master* and that he has *work* for me to do. Sigh.

(in reply to Paulnz)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/27/2005 2:41:46 AM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline 		For far to many, a "Time Waster" is anyone who does not live up to their expectations regardless of the circumstances or the details of an ad, a ideal, or a person. My advice? Tell them to piss off, lol. Being submissive does NOT equate being an old doormat. The Dommes or Doms that dont know that are a waste of time and energy and will ultimately be a dissapointment so no loss. :)

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to Chilli)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/28/2005 12:01:58 AM   
angelinbondage


Posts: 30
Joined: 1/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think you are a time waster at all, as long as you let others know up front that you are only looking for friendship at this time. However, a lot of lifestyler men are exactly the same as most nonkinky men; they are led around by their egos. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will be fine; anyone that insists that your way is wrong and their way is the one "twue" way should serve as cheap entertainment.

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Define 'Time Waster' - 4/28/2005 2:12:43 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
lol... that is one thing that is always the same...

You always 'want' the thing that is already taken...lol something about having the unobtainable? Or that the 'danger' can make the rush all the more thrilling.

Seriously though, unless it is just casual play you are after, I would suggest you keep clear of married men/women unless their partner is well aware (not just comfortably in the dark avoiding the issue) of them 'playing away from home', chances are they are approaching others also. IMO, A time waster isn't just someone who can't make up their mind, and procrastination is really just being unsure, doesn't make you a player. But a time waster is someone who can't give you what you need in order for you to grow to your full potential.

I have lost count of the times when a casual 'hello' turns more into a 'i can be discret, can you?' scenario. For myself, offering a friendship is like opening the floodgates to numerous married men, because you are' in the same position'... lol. I am beginnig to realise that most people view marriage and BDSM something that cannot go together, that marriage with BDSM is just not possible. Lol... well I can assure that isn't the case!

quote:

Now who should I go for, the guy with the manor, the guy with the bike or the guy with the incredible mind...?


Ach... I would go with the mind. For a beautiful mind can be an intense stimulation!

Anyways... enough of my rambling...lol. I just took a look at your profile(to check the new update you mentioned)... but it says your profile isn't active? Not seen that before on collarme, is it me? Have I gotten a glitch?

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 17
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