RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Xeandra -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 10:17:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrainer2007

Ever heard the saying "Your either scared or stupid." Someone who actually has no fear, i believe is really ignorant. Or the just dont give a shit about anything.

For me:
I fear taking something to far. I am pushy by nature.  I push limits, I push past limits, and im pretty good at it so far. But what if.....just what if  i misjudge and push to far? Sure you can write this off with safewords.  But i dont use safewords, because they are either over or under used and in my current situation i think they would be underused at fear of failing me.

Or for instance say with suffocation, i take it to far and  dont let her breath soon enough....bad things can happen then. But if you dont take it far enough it loses its effect.

I think when you  push a sub to the edge with kinks and you  hit that thin line between not enough and to much i think you always  have the fear in the back of your mind that you may go to far over that line instead of the utopia of riding it. And while safewords  are suppose to be a safety to keep you from going over that line, they are flawed. They depend to much on someone  muttering them that is worried about disappointing and often so far in subspace... you have to wonder if they are still in touch with reality at all.

This is were self confidence plays a large role.. can you take her to that edge without sending her to the hospital?




I know where your going with this becasue the balancing act is hard in my situation. I was traning a male slave to be multi orgasmic and he went overborad lost his job because he got sucked into the desire to cum comstantly. He is back on track  but for that short period thats all he was and, it worrys me that something like that could occor again he was not mine so I was hard to tell him the correct when and where. Although  it was my fault because Iwasnt clear enough im my direction so there you have it another fear.



Slavetrainer2007 -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 10:27:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Xeandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrainer2007

Ever heard the saying "Your either scared or stupid." Someone who actually has no fear, i believe is really ignorant. Or the just dont give a shit about anything.

For me:
I fear taking something to far. I am pushy by nature.  I push limits, I push past limits, and im pretty good at it so far. But what if.....just what if  i misjudge and push to far? Sure you can write this off with safewords.  But i dont use safewords, because they are either over or under used and in my current situation i think they would be underused at fear of failing me.

Or for instance say with suffocation, i take it to far and  dont let her breath soon enough....bad things can happen then. But if you dont take it far enough it loses its effect.

I think when you  push a sub to the edge with kinks and you  hit that thin line between not enough and to much i think you always  have the fear in the back of your mind that you may go to far over that line instead of the utopia of riding it. And while safewords  are suppose to be a safety to keep you from going over that line, they are flawed. They depend to much on someone  muttering them that is worried about disappointing and often so far in subspace... you have to wonder if they are still in touch with reality at all.

This is were self confidence plays a large role.. can you take her to that edge without sending her to the hospital?




I know where your going with this becasue the balancing act is hard in my situation. I was traning a male slave to be multi orgasmic and he went overborad lost his job because he got sucked into the desire to cum comstantly. He is back on track  but for that short period thats all he was and, it worrys me that something like that could occor again he was not mine so I was hard to tell him the correct when and where. Although  it was my fault because Iwasnt clear enough im my direction so there you have it another fear.


Even a unexpected result such as this has to cause fear in sane people. Their is always that chance something unexpected happens. What if you got a slave suspended upside down and tied...  and  even one eye hook  loses its  hold and the slave comes crashing down  head first, tied and unable to prevent their head from hitting full force. Granted  the chances are unlikely, but it only takes that once for something fatal to happen.

In this case  with hooks that have to support alot of weight  and are critical i often use two spaced a few inches apart in case one  fails.

Like i said play with fire, fear the burn. If you dont i question your sanity and you should too.



raevnn -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 11:49:52 AM)

Losing my Daddy is the biggest fear I can think of.



jauntyone -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 11:52:43 AM)

Greetings
 
being released or Master dying is truly the only fear I have
 
I wish you well
 
melissa



santalia -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 12:04:33 PM)

Greetings

i have a few fears for certain. One of them is needles. i can handle my ass being beat with a flogger, but can't handle the tiny point of a needle being inserted into my skin. *shudders*

Now, i do have a fear of heights and can barely stand on a chair without getting vertigo. But, the strangest thing - i can be strapped into the elevator on the Tower of Terror, be taken up 12 flights and dropped over and over again....and come out laughing. Go figure. lol

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}t



tulinwl -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 12:05:57 PM)

Being ignored. Plain and simple.



selfbnd411 -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 12:46:44 PM)

It's a whole lot easier to take precautions against causing physical damage than it is emotional.  You can install a second set of eye hooks or learn how to tie a good knot, but how do you know when you're pushing a sub too far?  Or from a sub's perspective, how do you know when things are in danger of crossing an emotional line?  At least when the pain is physical, there are signs that the Top can use to tell if things are going too far.  Probably the scariest moment I've ever had in a scene was when a Domme was pushing my emotions really far.  I thought I should just take it, but in a second I went from being in subspace to feeling like I was in freefall.  She was just learning, as I am, but I stayed away from bondage for a whole year after that.



slaveluci -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:05:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone 
being released or Master dying is truly the only fear I have
 melissa

Those are the two greatest fears i have as well but they aren't the only ones.  i am claustrophobic so there are certain activities that can cause me to panic just thinking about them (mummification, etc).  And, i have to admit that , until fairly recently, i was pretty afraid of not "measuring up" to Master's former subs.  Master is the only dominant i have ever been in a relationship with and i had quite a time overcoming the hang-ups i had about comparing/competing in my own mind.  Knowing this proclivity of mine, Master has always been very careful not to go into great detail about former relationships.  The insecurities i had were not due to that.  And, though i had asked not to know about them, not knowing led me to make up my own stories, so to speak, and feel i was falling short of their service to Him.  When i would express such concerns, Master would openly and honestly discuss my feelings and fears with me and assure me there's no need for comparisons.  It took many months before i was finally comfortable with the knowledge that i am the slave He wants, my service to Him is as He desires, and that i am not in some competition with the ghosts of subbies past [8D].  So...what WAS one of my greatest fears now is not.......ah, progress [:)] ......slave luci



Suleiman -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:08:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Xeandra
So again anyone else have a fear in relation to this *lifestyle?


Indiscriminate sexual intercourse and the transmission of STDs.



Devilslilsister -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:18:52 PM)

i fear falling in so deep i cant find my way out if need be.  i fear getting in over my head, realising it and not having a plan of action to find the path back out.

On top of that - i fear e-stim

i also fear - the what if scenario - of something painful  (like if i was a guy... oh having my scrotum nailed to a board.. might do it) happening and it pushes me past my ability to hold on mentally and i lose it.  Not that its ever happened and even if its come to the point where i've felt close to it and losing my mental control over myself.. i've been lucky where there was some one else there holding the reins.  Silly fear - imo - but there none the less.



Slavetrainer2007 -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:26:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: selfbnd411

It's a whole lot easier to take precautions against causing physical damage than it is emotional.  You can install a second set of eye hooks or learn how to tie a good knot, but how do you know when you're pushing a sub too far?  Or from a sub's perspective, how do you know when things are in danger of crossing an emotional line?  At least when the pain is physical, there are signs that the Top can use to tell if things are going too far.  Probably the scariest moment I've ever had in a scene was when a Domme was pushing my emotions really far.  I thought I should just take it, but in a second I went from being in subspace to feeling like I was in freefall.  She was just learning, as I am, but I stayed away from bondage for a whole year after that.



This is a very good point. The physical was an easier example to convey. On the emotional side  I take as many precautions. I wont "play", at least heavily with a sub i dont know very well. My current ive known for 5 years and as she told me today actually "You understand me better than anyone". I can judge how something will affect her ( and often can guess her reaction to something)  because i know her this well.  Their is still that fine line, Its just easier to find and walk.



proudsub -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:28:08 PM)

quote:

So again anyone else have a fear in relation to this *lifestyle?


Yes, but they are things i won't touch, like fire play and breath play.  Hubby has a fear of hurting me so won't go as far as i would like in some areas.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:30:08 PM)

My one fear is that I will do emotional damage to Angel through one of his own fetishes. He enjoys humiliation and being degraded, but he has had that elsewhere in his life for real and I have to make sure that what I do in scene doesnt echo what he has put up with in his everyday life. I would never forgive myself if I hurt him, physicaly or emotionally.

DV



canupleaseme -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:33:12 PM)

Personally I fear losing what I have now. and sometimes i get scared when i'm being fisted that ill pass out I dont like the thought of that but it nearly happens evrytime (in a good way not an ouch way)
In general in bdsm I think the only thing that has ever scared me was an older dominant lady asking me if my bitch ever took dog cock!!!  After spending 5 minutes trying to work out if it was slang for anything and then realising she was serious I got a bit scared lol well more freaked out :S



KevinS -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:49:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

quote:

ORIGINAL: Xeandra
So again anyone else have a fear in relation to this *lifestyle?


Indiscriminate sexual intercourse and the transmission of STDs.


So you are stating that these two things are specific to the BDSM lifestyle, or, perhaps, more prevalent than the norm?



Stranger1 -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 1:49:54 PM)

Crazy people.[:)]



FukinTroll -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 2:00:39 PM)

Being discovered as a fake Dom.



FukinTroll -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 2:01:44 PM)

Crap!



Xeandra -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 2:07:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Being discovered as a fake Dom.


Yep that was hilarious



pearlmoongirl -> RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of? (4/15/2007 2:19:59 PM)

1) I'm afraid I'll never find a Master Who wants me. That's a big one.

2) I'm afraid my ignorance about the lifestyle will land me in danger or make me look stupid (which is why I've yet to go to the munch near my house). i.e. I thought Shibari might be some sort of aphrodisiac sushi ... and watersports might be getting off with a handheld showerhead.

but mostly, seriously,

3) I'm afraid my fears will hold me back.

~ pmg



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125