RE: Why are we so rare? (Full Version)

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IntellectualPro -> RE: Why are we so rare? (6/24/2008 6:37:48 PM)

I think many don't advertise being a switch because of the stigma associated with the name. A lot of people hold the opinion that the world is black and white and we defy that so they say we're really subs or Dom(me)'s in denial or we're not "true" ___. Others just fear that you will try to switch with them (Domme's get really touchy around here about men trying to dominate them, or some subs can't respect you if you are ever submissive) so some switches only advertise one side of their nature to avoid rejection.

On a side note, I'm so glad that my choice to be an omnivore doesn't gross out my vegetarian friends as they imagine me eating meat while we're actually having baked bean soup.



TMIk -> RE: Why are we so rare? (6/24/2008 11:30:10 PM)

I'm a switch, I don't wish to be submissive or Dominant all the time. I want to be able to share both sides with the person I'm with and he wants this as well. He is also switch and we've been together for a very long time. We understand each other. So things flow quite well. I don't think he could be happy just being Dom and I know I wouldn't be happy just being sub or vice versa. IThe relationship is so deep becaus we're so honest with each other, it's very open. I wouldn't want it any other way. 



Brollox -> RE: Why are we so rare? (6/25/2008 2:53:04 PM)

I tend to have different roles for different times. Generally, if it has more than one woman involved, one a domme, I tend to switch towards a bottom. If it has anything to do with rope and some medical play I tend to top. This works well for my relationship and keeps me sane.

I have a rather varocious appetite for experiences out of the ordinary, this just widens the horizons without restricting me to a side of the story.



WhisperSupremacy -> RE: Why are we so rare? (6/25/2008 8:16:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IntellectualPro

I think many don't advertise being a switch because of the stigma associated with the name. A lot of people hold the opinion that the world is black and white and we defy that so they say we're really subs or Dom(me)'s in denial or we're not "true" ___. Others just fear that you will try to switch with them (Domme's get really touchy around here about men trying to dominate them, or some subs can't respect you if you are ever submissive) so some switches only advertise one side of their nature to avoid rejection.

On a side note, I'm so glad that my choice to be an omnivore doesn't gross out my vegetarian friends as they imagine me eating meat while we're actually having baked bean soup.


My thoughts exactly.  That's pretty much dead on.



LadyStrykersPain -> RE: Why are we so rare? (7/14/2008 7:28:45 PM)

I am a switch, but my wife is a Domme.  She owns my submissive side.  I truly feel they are sides.  I can be Dominant if the need arises, just not with her.  Am I able to top, Yes.  Do I enjoy it yes.  But My Wife, Owner, Lover, and Friend owns and fully controls my submissive side.   It is all in contrast to what a person wants as to what they will truly enjoy or receive.  To label oneself a switch in many cases, literally is the most honest description they could give to what they are.  They have a Top and bottom side.  Many don't admit to it, and others just don't have it, they are either truly just Dominant, or truly just submissive.  Granted these are my beliefs, my feelings.  But I have found as I travel thru this lifestyle, it doesn't matter because you never truly know a person until you are their friend first and their lover last, all that happens in the middle is just gravy. 

Be safe and enjoy what you have today, for when tomorrow comes, you never know what you will find.



Gauer666 -> RE: Why are we so rare? (7/19/2008 2:10:30 PM)

Never did I realize that this topic that I started would taken off in the way it did. Lately I have had a couple of very sweet girls get a hold of me concerning this subject, and that has influence me to return to this site.

I haven't been on this site for a while and if it wasn't for someone emailing me, I probably wouldn't have returned to the site. Honestly, lately I have been so frustrated with my situation that I have pretty much given up dating entirely. I've boxed up all the toys and shoved them into a deep dark corner of the closet along with my desires. I have done a pretty good job of convincing myself that I am just concentrating on my career. Fact of the matter is that I haven't suppressed my feeling, and now I am more like a ticking time bomb. One of the strangest things that I have noticed is that the longer I go without a relationship, the strong and stronger my submissive side comes out. The draw back to that is that you pretty much have to put on the dominate role when getting out there and dating just because society had dictated that because I'm I male you need to be dominate. It's like a vicious cycle. I am confident, well spoken, and proud, so one wouldn't think that a submissive side would show through, but somehow it does. It must me like a pheromone I give off that you woman pick up on. So, that's pretty much it. I've thrown in the towel and now waiting to burst.




OmegaDriver -> RE: Why are we so rare? (8/2/2008 9:12:51 PM)

I love all the open minde people here..................we are all switches.....................in the real world we switch,,,,,,,,,,,,almost ,without even things about it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so get Real...............OD[8D]



NumberSix -> RE: Why are we so rare? (8/2/2008 9:14:52 PM)

Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Girls have picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone?
Taken husbands every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young men gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young men gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young men gone?
Gone for soldiers every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Covered with flowers every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?



sassylady53 -> RE: Why are we so rare? (8/3/2008 1:19:49 PM)

I am a newbie switch. I enjoy Topping and Bottoming pretty much the same. When I am Domming I like being in control of the sub.
I can also go submissive in scene to my husband or any other Dom.  So, I see myself as a Domme/switch, who still enjoys a good
flogging or butt paddling.



MistressPav -> RE: Why are we so rare? (8/4/2008 3:46:16 PM)

We are rare, indeed.  One is not complete in any aspect until he tastes them all.  How could you choose satin when you have never touched silk?
How could you choose coffee if you've never tasted chocolate?  In all things, there are opposites; polarities with a purpose.

It becomes an exchange of power; a sub takes on the dom's energy.  It would behoove the sub to then take that energy which he has absorbed and
release it in the proper form and direction for his best benefit.  (not necessarily with that same partner)  This would also apply to the Dom.  For one cannot dominate another without having first been broken by a Dom.

Everyone has a use for Switching roles, but some choose not to see or take advantage of the benefits.




TanukiChan -> RE: Why are we so rare? (8/6/2008 4:18:05 PM)

I don't believe we're so rare. A large part of us, and a large part of the human race, can empathize with what others enjoy and understand it - understandable, really. Perhaps, if we seem rare, it's because a label is considered attractive in some cases.



jhymesba -> RE: Why are we so rare? (8/9/2008 7:03:16 PM)

OK, this is my first post, coming from a 'vanilla' switch.

I don't dom nor do I sub.   I mix it up equally between topping (wife's pleasure is in my hands and under my control) and bottoming (quite literally, our favorite position is Female Superior).   I would say that's the definition of vanilla.  

Since I didn't get given a choice of vanilla, I chose switch, because I do indeed switch modes as the situation calls for it.

Another potential type of switch I've seen mentioned in the forum is the one who is dominate towards some partners and submissive towards others.  I've seen plenty of people on the thread saying that's like poly, and indeed, some people are poly.    However, to those who insist that you have to be poly to be a switch, I ask this.   What stops you from being a serial monogamous switch.  Partner A brings your dom side out, so you break out the whips and the chains.   Then you break up with partner A and meet partner B who makes you just want to submit, so down on your knees you go and now you're a sub?   My wife is like that.   In fact, she even can go for mode 3, which is one equivalent to my default and sole mode, 'vanilla'. 

The only thing I want to add to this is a phenominon I've encountered.    I notice frequently that people who are hardcore Dom or sub have this mentality that a switch is simply confused.  It's like gays and bisexuals.     By all means, let the switch new to the BDSM community experiment and so on, but I'd draw the line at convincing said switch that he or she is a Dom or sub.  If he/she is, then he/she will find out on his/her own.

This is, of course, something I worry about with my wife.  I'd hate for her own agressive sex tendancies to be driven underground by an overinsistant dom who senses her submissive tendancies.   I like it when she's fiesty, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, live and let live is my motto.  As long as you don't try to make others into your image of what you think things should be, then life is grand.



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