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looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 2:39:39 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		Greetings Everyone,..

I have recently gotten involved with a 24/7 relationship and though there are many new and exciting experiences, as well as lessons taught on both sides, one particular frustration for me has been the implementing of punishments....so I find myself looking for a few good ideas.

I am aware of how Mine responds to looks, and ignoring...it is the common punishment I use now, but for her it one of the more severe punishments I will choose, and often leaves us both frustrated and feeling angry. I am looking for some things that may leave less emotional impact, for those not-so-critical times when punishment is due.

Thank you in advance for any advice.

Phoenix

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 2:49:35 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		24/7 punishments? That sounds way unfun. :)

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 3:03:54 PM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Brussel Sprouts


Fire


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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 3:27:28 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline 		Ha Ha! Cold Brussel Sprouts, like a Bowl Full!

*Brightspot

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 3:28:01 PM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Ok, Ok, a serious reply. Actually, I'm better at offering what NOT to do:

Don't make her clean as punishment. she'll come to hate cleaning (if she doesn't already) and begin to resent doing it.
Don't make her do exercise for the same reasons.
Don’t use humiliation; if she liked humiliation, it’s not punishment. If she doesn’t, it’s detrimental.
Don’t “make” her do things that you want her to do willingly at other times.


I do have a few ideas for what you could do. I’m sure others have better ones:

Take away pleasures, be them sexual or whatever. No TV, no computer, no music, no hobby.
If you want to make her do something in penance, pick a thing she already hates that you don’t necessarily want her to learn to do. Writing something repetitive 500 times was always a good one in school.
Maybe, if she’s an artist, you make her do a paint-by-number picture. ;-)

Fire



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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 3:40:01 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

one of the more severe punishments I will choose, and often leaves us both frustrated and feeling angry.


Phoenix,

24/7 is an interesting as well as challenging way to live. I won't make any suggestions for punishments at this point because this quoted comment points to a different and maybe more serious problem. Punishment should never be a part of play or a daily expectation. Punishment is something that both parties should hope to avoid. It indicates failure not only of the slave, but of the Master.

If your slave feels any emotions other than sorrow and regret for having disappointed you, you and her need to reassess your interaction. Speaking for my relationship with beth, I could get the same tears and genuine contrition if my punishment was conducted with a feather as I would with a bull whip. The physical part of punishment is a relief for her, knowing upon it's conclusion the problem is resolved and over. Before worrying about what type of punishment, physical or other, figure out what mentally is going on and make sure the reason and purpose of punishment is clear.

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 3:45:51 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I am aware of how Mine responds to looks, and ignoring...it is the common punishment I use now


I have no suggestions but a question. Why would you ignore a person as punishment?
It makes no sense. The idea of the lifestyle is we have a heightened sense of communication. A communication beyond that of a vanilla relationship. So, why would anyone want to kill that off?
If someone told me they did not want to talk to me or ignored me. When it came down to actually wanting to talk to me there would be issues. Whether our communication at that point or not could fix us would be questionable.

My worst punishment of all was with my old dom. A friend of mine...she and I shaved my doms and her doms chests. Both had so much hair they were forests. Both had drank too much that night. Anyway, one bad idea after another so we shaved both chests.
My punishment was not to stop talking to him but the opposite. To talk and figure out why we did exactly what we did.
I was not allowed to sleep in my bedroom for a solid month. I was a guest in my own home. There was little to zero affection depending on his mood the certain day.
I will remember that punishment for the rest of my life because it made that sort of impact on me.
Yet, on the surface it may look as though I was ignored it was the opposite. I had to talk daily about what it was I did.

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 7:19:12 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		My issue is more why aren't you talking about the anger and frustration? Punishments are a reaction to behaviors...you need to get at the source of the behavior to begin with and deal with why you have such anger and frustration.

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 8:47:01 PM   
boundfem


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/18/2004
Status: offline 		When I was 24/7, I envisioned punishment would be a natural course of events. It was rare that I was trully punished- outside of something within 'play'- and much of the time my Mistress instead became moody, silent, cold and distant when I did something She was not fond of. I hated it; I would have rather She beat me to a pulp- in ways I really did not like- instead. I felt the cold looks and weird moods made things worse and not resolved and made me start resenting it and angry. I think the few times where I was punished in some form was really much much better.
For a while, she had me writing repetitive lines.. I didn't take it seriously. If I were her, I would have had me do it on my knees naked to instill the right mood and frame of mind. Once, she and my Master had me lay at the end of their bed with my hands behind my head and my knees spread with nipple clamps and clamps on my pussy lips and they used me as a footrest. While in a way, that treatment does turn me on, I was in serious pain and discomfort to the point where I was crying and everytime I closed my legs at all - to try and take away a fraction of the pain on my nether region or moved my arms down - they made it longer. Those are the only ones I can think of off hand.

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/25/2005 9:56:02 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Whenever I'm negotiating with a new dominant, this subject always comes up. It's a very individual thing. For instance, I like spanking. I view it as an erotic activity. I DO NOT like being caned, and don't view it in an erotic fashion. So, I usually suggest that my punishments be caning combined with another activity, like writing lines.

Find out what your submissive doesn't like, and go from there. Perhaps she doesn't like standing in a corner or being paddled or what have you. Then, only use that implement or activity in conjunction with punishment and make sure not to try and incorporate it into erotic play.

Just my 2 cents.

B

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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/26/2005 8:15:23 AM   
Destinysskeins


Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Obviously, the most appropriate answers are going to depend upon your individual dynamics. That being said, i agree very much with Merc in that a punishment should not be necessary on a regular basis - your subbie/slave should want to please you and should be chastened enough just knowing that he/she has been displeasing. Where you go from here depends on what sort of relationship you're striving for in reality. Do you want the subbie/slave in question to require punishments or would you rather bring about an open dialogue in which underlying causes for the disobedience are found and dealt with? What is your dynamic and what do you want it to be or become?

If you're not seeking to define a relationship based heavily upon punishment and yet wish to use methods of making your displeasure clear, i would suggest taking away play-time and/or sex.

Good luck and well wishes!

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/26/2005 1:57:59 PM   
goodhouseboy


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline 		sincerely here...i am not trying to be a smartass. please believe me..

i just wish i knew why punishment is even needed, except for those i am told that have-to-have attention due to insecurities...
i myself served real time 15 months with my 1st Ms and never was punished or disciplined...i myself fail to grasp the concept personally.
and as to the Ms ignoring someone?..i guess i am again guilty of allowing my vanilla side to show...when my 3 ex wives ignored me i was in 7th heaven...i had peace n quiet all day and all night. ignoring ''me'' would not be effective to me personally...
but i suppose i am not like most ''normal'' s/m folks?
i have only experienced d/s...no s/m yet...

thanks
i do not mean to be a bother..
houseboy

(in reply to Destinysskeins)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/26/2005 2:14:54 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

i myself served real time 15 months with my 1st Ms and never was punished or disciplined...i myself fail to grasp the concept personally.


My compliments to your training.

Obviously not all slaves or submissives are as perfect in their deportment, or behavior, as you. Consider the concept of imperfection. As Michaelangelo said about his marble sculpture; he didn't create the "Moses", "The Pieta", or "David". He said that their forms were already there, "prisoners" in the stone. He just chipped away the marble that represented the prison in which they were trapped.

Punishment in any form it may take, should chip away the part of a person which, in the Master/Mistress image, isn't a slave.

(in reply to goodhouseboy)
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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/26/2005 4:18:14 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		greetings,

My thanks so far for all the suggestions and opinions. Let me make a few thigns clear which have been mentioned above.

In no way do I strike to make my girl perfect. I realize being human means carrying our own imperfections, though I also realize the desire for a slave to be pleasing. as a result, I simply strive to have myself and mine be a perfect fit. to be able to read each other and respond to each other's bodies, and thoughts.

secondly, I am a firm believer that the worst punishment that can be handed out is simply that the sub/slave knows they have been displeasing. further punishments, by my opinion, are simply optional at this stage. repetiveness is not something I am looking for though. to constantly have that form of punishment by 'lurking' in the background....I feel is unhealthy in the longrun. therefore I was looking for simpler means, keeping busy, boring tasks, unproductive, or measures which reflect each individual occurance.

Mine strives to be pelasing every day, it is not as if I am in constant need of punishing her, lol. but for someone who is rather new to a live-in M/s relationship, I felt it would be best to contact a few others who may have more expertise in that area.

with this being said, again, I thankyou all for the opinions, and would like them to continue, as I have already gotten a few which I might use.

Thanks,
Phoenix

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/27/2005 1:03:06 AM   
Chilli


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Hiya, I find this topic really interesting. Im a submissive in a 24/7 relationship. My only prior experience was with a wonderful wonderful Dom who taught me more than he could ever know, and the thought of ever displeasing him was mortifying.

However, living together full time presents its own challenges, and life DOES go on outside of the apartment. We both work full time and with our individual work stresses, frankly I can get a little tetchy. I find enormous comfort in being disciplined at times. I feel reassured that I am loved and that my behaviour or attitude is not acceptable, and the boundaries of our relationship are once again defined.

I know this is a completely different issue to that of punishment but based on my own experience ONLY, I know that if my behaviour is allowed to go unchecked I will begin to gradually push the boundaries sometimes.

At the end of the day, I would rather be have my behaviour checked than deserve punishment because that is awful for us both.


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RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/27/2005 7:55:39 PM   
lechat


Posts: 57
Joined: 10/19/2004
Status: offline 		make her watch sitcoms

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: looking for opinions on 24/7 punishments. - 4/27/2005 8:17:01 PM   
Alixandria


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lechat

make her watch sitcoms


That is neither safe, sane *nor* consensual!

Alix


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Profile   Post #: 17
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