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The Funnies... - 4/26/2005 11:33:23 AM

darlingjade

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Does this sound familiar?

There ya are freshly scrubbed, smoothly shaven, perfectly coiffed, lightly perfumed, dressed to specifications and prostrate at their feet when it happens. Ya try to hold back, truly you. You bite your lower lip hard and let your eyes skitter anywhere but up. You try deep breathing and reciting whatever mantras you can remember at such a time silently in your head but alas, it's all for naught. Seconds later you're still prostrate at their feet but now you're rolling around on the floor laughing helplessly.

'g' Awoke this morning thinking about some of the more hilarious moments that have happened during my explorations of BDSM. Figured there had to be some great stories out there that you folks could share.

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/26/2005 11:48:26 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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Other than the time I was tied up and balanced on my doms legs on a chair when he reached around behind me to get something from the table leaving me with no support and I fell flat on my face...I THINK he felt bad, but it was hard to tell through his laughter.

Or the time he had my ankles in a spreader bar raised above me as I laid on my back and was using a TENS on my clit and kept going higher and higher and I kept telling him it felt good. Then I shifted and a huge BOLT went through me and I screamed "What did you do??" and he said "I didn't do anything, what did YOU do?" and we'd realized when I'd shifted, I'd moved the bar off of my legs which were carrying the current and dispersing it through my legs. When the bar moved, the current all went directly into my clit at once. Again, he thought it was hysterical.

Then there's stories of bunny ears, clamps that just won't stay clamped, dom who think they have you all trussed up and then you calmly stand up and walk away, oh yeah.

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/26/2005 1:48:09 PM

darlingjade

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'laughing softly'
How funny Emerald!!!

Ok, if I don't share this one sanita will.

The Dom I was seeing called me from his car while on a road trip. We were having a pleasant conversation when he decided he wanted me to spank myself with a belt. Simple right? Noooo.

I'd never used a belt to spank anyone in my life so he was having to explain starting at the basics. At the time I didn't have a cordless phone so the belt kept getting tangled up in the cord. Added to all of that the belt was bought specifically for him and he's a good foot taller than I am so after a few misses he also had to explain to me how to shorten the darn thing to hit the target area.

Was feeling pretty darn proud of myself by the time I finally managed a couple of swings in a row that actually hit what even I have to acknowledge is a fairly big area. Really should have quit while I was ahead but since I hadn't been given permission to I kept gamely at it. Honestly can't say whether it was the kathunk, kathunk, kathunk noise followed by the whirring or if it were the tension in the belt and having it jerked out of my hand that alerted me to the problem but next thing I know I'm looking up at the black leather intertwined in the blades of the ceiling fan.

And yes, I literally fell to the floor laughing hysterically at that one ..

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/26/2005 9:14:16 PM

proudsub

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There are some funny incidents on this old thread too:

most embarassing moments

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/27/2005 5:45:03 PM

sanita

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heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy, that's your story, cutie, and not mine to tell. *lol* but yeah.

now i just have to pick one of mine... oh my, i'll post later.

Emerald: funny! sort of...prolly funnier for your Dom at the time, than for you. how long was your clit tingly or even numb after that?

sani

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/27/2005 8:53:48 PM

BeachMystress

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This is a funny now, but at the time... well, lets just say I was considering how I could hide a body!

I had a sub for about 5 months. There was no indications that he was attached. He was available when I wanted him, never asked me not to mark him, gave me his phone number and never asked me not to call at certain times..

He took me to Vegas for a weekend. As we were leaving Vegas at the end of the weekend, his phone rings. The caller is his LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND who is calling to complain about something his estranged WIFE did. This man is cheating on his wife with his girlfriend and cheating on his girlfriend with me.. What a time to find out- when you're about to spend 5 hours in a car with someone. I amused myself all the way home with thoughts of how many coyotes it would take to eat him. *smiles* I almost felt sorry for the poor guy.. 5 hours in a car with me pissed as hell. Not something I'd ever want to do. LMAO

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/27/2005 8:58:14 PM

onceburned

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Cheating on his wife with a girlfriend, whom he was also cheating on with you? That guy certainly had balls - and he's lucky if he still has them.

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/27/2005 9:00:46 PM

SweetDommes

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I'm afraid I would have taken the phone from him and had a chat with this girlfriend of his.

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/28/2005 5:18:46 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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As Chris Rock says "If you've been with your boyfriend for 3 months and you haven't met any of his friends, he's not YOUR boyfriend"

:)

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/28/2005 12:33:14 PM

darlingjade

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Oh, me GOSH!!!...FIVE hours?...Daaang that boy had a death wish...Ya know, if "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" I shudder to think how that translates with a Domme...Is there a way to exponate Hell?

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/29/2005 3:28:03 PM

chainedgirl

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i was tied to a Y-frame at a club, having my breasts whipped and lightly entering subspace. i opened my eyes to look Master lovingly in the face and saw Him staning there with these two white, large, plastic clamps in His mouth. It struck me as hilarious because it was so unexpected and i just couldn't control myself. i was laughing histerically - still tied up - for about 15 minutes. Eventually, He threw His hands up in the air and walked off. That stopped me. But it was funny.

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RE: The Funnies... - 4/29/2005 7:26:38 PM

MrKite

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I believe cello mentioned this in another thread but its worth mentioning again here. She was bound upright against a door and I was spanking her hard. I was trying to make her cry, and spanking her ass as hard as I could with my bare hand. Just as I thought she was about to break down the sound of laughter burst forth. Needless to say we were both surprised about that incongruous reaction. I was at a complete loss as to how to react to this sudden and drastic change from the expected. From Dom space to bewilderment in 3 seconds, what a rush. She is always challenging me and surprising me and I guess that’s one of the reasons I love her so. In retrospect it will remain a fond memory for both of us.

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