quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Can I tell you something?  If she really likes you and loves your company, the rules and regulations of your behaviour kind of take care of themselves.

Let the relationship unfold in its own delicious way. 

The more D/s relationships I watch  the more I realise that every  D/s dynamic is unique. I have loved every kind of sub from cheeky brats to devoted dogs.  There are no rules that apply neatly to every sub or every Domme

Having said that, you probably want to:

1) ask her what she expects from you.  She might not really know.  These things develop over time. 

Therefore

2) keep a few ideas up your sleeve and in wooing her, mention that "some Dommes like their subs to do X (eg wear a CB3000 whenever we cannot be together).  What is your view?"  Watch her body language as well as answers.  What excites her evil mind?

3) hopefully she will ask you what you would like (advice: run away - fast - if she does not care what you want out of the D/s relationship). 

My partner does a great job explaining how he badly needs to feel controlled without pressuring me to do "stuff" to him. 

I do "stuff" to him because I love doing "stuff" (within his limits of course .....*cough cough*).  But most of all, I love him as a person.  You want that kind of Domme, not a Domme with a rule book.

Edited to add: 

First, I like other people's lists but - with the exception of "loves BDSM" or "is a masochist" or "enjoys ceding power to women" - these are all qualities you would want in a good vanilla partnership too.  They are not distinguishing features over and above what any Nice Guy should be

Secondly, the Domme has to bring exactly the same qualities to the relationship that she expects from the submissive - even willingness to please, believe it or not.  Domination is not a licence to take more than you give or have less character and integrity

I'm delighted to see a post such as yours appear here on CM!

It's my experience that sucessful D/s relationships are like two way streets, where the needs and desires of both parties are of importance; that both in the relationship are "people" with real needs, desires, feelings, and presumably want/need love, acceptance & respect from the other. 

It's nice to know that there are dominant women on CM that are willing to "come out of the closet" and make public statements like the one quoted above.