RE: An assignment by Master

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onestandingstill -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 1:04:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav This has also raised other questions in my mind though....why is this so bothersome?....is it because i havent sufficiently dealt with my past?....is it because i am "used" to wearing a mask and am afraid to remove it.....is it because i am afraid of deep intimacy with this man< I'd think for me it would be about laying my life out in black and white in complete exposure. I'd also be concerned I'd leave something out that was important or glimpse over something that should have been explained better, or omitted clear enough discriptions it's read as I wrote it and not from a different perspective. Basically it leaves you exposed and vulnerable and can be pulled out and pointed to later etc... Written words have meaning attached to them. I think when you're done this story will be something that means a lot to you, and future generations of your family potentially as well. I have faith in you, you can do it! suzanne

KatyLied -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 1:08:57 PM)
I would not lay out every detail of my life to someone I've only known for 2 weeks. For a 2 week courtship I would only give broad, sweeping generalities, but I'm not what'd you call a "sharer". When I can't write, I do an outline. I know it's old school, but it helps me organize my thoughts and helps me think of the important things I don't want to miss.

honeysuckleblue -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 2:27:45 PM)
i agree totally with both Michael and Thaddeus. my Master often demands that i write for him. Sometimes He is specific in what I write others not. But he has recently told me to write about life as a person with Bipolar. Since i have been bipolar all my life,this is quite a chore. Talk to your Master and it will most likely help and if not your Master will may be help you get a start. Good Luck

slavejali -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 4:20:28 PM)
Fast Reply: When we were getting to know each other, Master gave me topics to write about.I think that was a much easier way than just saying "write a biography"..god there have been so many aspects of my life, I wouldn't know where to start. When I look back on my life, some of it seems fictitious now and is definately not even applicable to me now..yet..if I'm given a "focus" I can easily go back into that room of my memory or perspective of something and explore it. I think we are all like multi-faceted jewels, depending on which angle we are looking from at any particular time is how we view something, experience it, even in our memories.

ownedgirlie -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 5:17:24 PM)
~ Fast Reply ~ One of the very first assignments my Master gave me was to write my life's history. It was quite a task, and he required that I write it in segments, sending each segment as I finished it, rather than some huge mega-novel all at once. This allowed for me to focus on a piece at a time so it was less overwhelming, and it allowed him to read a bit at a time, to absorb it little by little. Thus began my transparency to him. He was able to spot patterns in me that I had previously been oblivious to, yet which seemed so obvious! But peeling away the layers is indeed scary. You are revealing yourself not only to him, but to you! So often as we pad ourselves with protective gear throughout our lives, it gets easier to stop looking inside. Now that you're peering into those places you may have stored away, never to be seen again, you may relive some old, raw emotions as well as joys. It is the beginning of the journey inside yourself, for both of you! You will both know you much better when it's all laid out, and he will better be able to manage you as a result. For what it's worth, often when I wrote, I'd make side-bar comments, like "Wow, I'm crying as I write this because it's bringing so many painful memories up." I would express what I was feeling as I was writing, and it helped him gauge which areas were the hardest for me. Good luck to you!

Devilslilsister -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 6:05:06 PM)
i have tried doing this for myself upon several occasions. i have never finished it. I usually get hung up on certian emotional periods in life. To me the past is a road better not traveled, yet at the same times its a road i need to walk down again. i think that with certian things in our past, we have the ability to run from them. One of the reasons i appreciate my life so much is i am able to section it off. I see life as a book, with chapters in it and at the end of each chapter - i simply close it and open another. So in writing down ones life history, one isnt able to run from anything that lays in the past - imo its a good exercise. Unfortunetly, there are things i do not ever think that i could put down on paper. Personal things that i would never allow any form of record to be made of. Luckily, nobody requires such an assignment from me and i admire your ability to be able to do so. i honestly would find it absolutetly and completely stressful turning over something of the sort to another human being. My anxiety would sky rocket and i would mostly like end up curled into a ball in bed and shaking. ::smiles:: Which is why all and any personal writings of mine are securely put on a USB drive that is securely placed out in the open. Things hidden are things found - ) I've also things out on the net, that in the past i was slowly copying down onto my little USB drive. Part of a past i'd rather forget, but part of a past where the head space i was in was unbelievable. Like i said its all for me and not something i'd have the balls to share with anyone else. Kudos to you for being able to do so and for others who have done so.

Elorin -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 6:15:16 PM)
The first think I think of when I read the OP is from my own personal experience. I sat down at one point and realized I was almost 30. I know when I was in high school I never made a statement starting "When I am 30 I will..." but I also know that I never envisioned I would be at the place in my life that I am now. So I just wondered...perhaps it is hard to write an autobiography because you have a perception that those are for people with "XXXX" and you don't have it? or because you are disappointed with yourself and where you are at this point in life? Some similar issue. I could also be entirely wrong... ~E

Squeakers -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 6:20:35 PM)
Wordperfect or any of the software programs out there are wonderful. I, often had trouble journalling because there was that unspoken knowledge that someday he might read it and I was so afraid of exposing sides of myself that I didn't want exposed. So I began practicing. I often used an software program, I wrote as if no one would read what I wrote expect me. Sometimes I wrote things that I found to difficult to share and I could delete those words but I got them out. Now after 4+ years I never fear if he will read anything I've written. I can expose myself without worry. There isn't anything I can not share---my suggestion is write as if no one is looking. If something comes out that you are not comfortable sharing, delete it.

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 6:29:54 PM)
i am praying that all Y/y'all's wisdom rubs off on me....<i'm rubbing myself on the computer monitor now LOL> and if i may....From the bottom of my heart i am greatful to E/everyone that took time out of their day to respond to this. i saw Master today and told Him about my dilema. He was not surprized...nor was He angry or disappointed even...LOL its like He expected it. He told me His intention is to leave me <when/if> better off then He found me....i think He has done that already...because even if i were not involved with Him in this way, i would want to be friends and hang out with Him...He is very cool.

patina -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 7:15:01 PM)
As to why it is hard to do. Well as someone said we all have many masks. When you take the time to remove each mask individually and study the person behind it it can at times be scary. We all have things we have done or seen in our past we would rather forget. They are not major issues to others but seem big to us. I know that i have stupid shit i have done that i would be embarassed for other people to know about. They are just minor childish things but I still cringe when i think of them. Maybe in time i will be able to face my demons as they say but i prefer to wait untill i have someone to help me through it. To not go through it alone. I have enough live demons now to deal with that i do not need past ones. patina

Sinergy -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/19/2007 7:22:25 PM)
I can understand your difficulties, imthatacheyouhave. I have written bibliographical things in the past, and the hardest ones really got close to what I considered core. I would suggest, though, that the things you consider core at this moment may not be the things you consider core tomorrow. Facing your difficulties may be the reason your Master gave you this assignment. Sinergy

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/20/2007 3:30:59 PM)
i submitted my assigned task today i havent had any feed back yet but i suspect some is coming

WhiplashSmile -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/20/2007 3:44:12 PM)
The whole process of writing about your life or sharing moments of failures, pain and hurt is something that trips us up in our own minds. Hell, there are things I've posted on this message board even that for years I would not even dreamed of sharing with other people. When you sit down and start to write, you can either choose to be honest about it and wear a mask, or open up about who you really are. Trust me the more you face yourself about your own life, the better off you are. It makes you stronger, plus you are writing about your past. It's not your today or your future. The thing is for you to look at your moments of greatness and victory, the moments when you helped another human being as well. The whole process should be balanced between the Good and the Bad. Hell, I could sit down and write about all the good things in my life that happened. However, this would not be an accurate picture of my life, things I did or happened to me. The whole assignment is a great one. It also reflects how you look at yourself or how you would like to look at yourself and your life. Also, you get to confront painful things you might not want to admit or talk about. It opens you up as the human being you really are.

daddysliloneds -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/20/2007 4:05:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross How long have you been together? Social closeness comes with time and experience and your self might be screaming that this is too much too soon. i have been with Him only 2 weeks.... and i suspect this would still be hard in 2 years.....i dont know how to tell you i know....but i do know this is a sincere man...it is not a power trip for Him nor do i believe its to gather information that could be used as "ammo" later. He seems "genuinely" intrested in me ans he also thinks i'm dead sexy....LMAO <this is a wonderful guy, no?> it is TRUELY inspiring to have this kind of support....and refreshing to know i'm not alone with this. an autobiography from you in just two weeks of being together? perhaps i'm jaded, but i'll be damned if i'd be handing out such personal and in-depth information to a complete stranger! it can be used for emotional/physical blackmail as well as being used as lazy mans escape for actually taking the time to get to know you on his own!

daddysliloneds -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/20/2007 4:09:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav i am praying that all Y/y'all's wisdom rubs off on me....<i'm rubbing myself on the computer monitor now LOL> and if i may....From the bottom of my heart i am greatful to E/everyone that took time out of their day to respond to this. i saw Master today and told Him about my dilema. He was not surprized...nor was He angry or disappointed even...LOL its like He expected it. He told me His intention is to leave me <when/if> better off then He found me....i think He has done that already...because even if i were not involved with Him in this way, i would want to be friends and hang out with Him...He is very cool. leave you better off then he found you? oh please, that line is soooooooo old and doesn't say much for what he thought about you before he found you!

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/20/2007 4:16:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile The whole process of writing about your life or sharing moments of failures, pain and hurt is something that trips us up in our own minds. Hell, there are things I've posted on this message board even that for years I would not even dreamed of sharing with other people. When you sit down and start to write, you can either choose to be honest about it and wear a mask, or open up about who you really are. Trust me the more you face yourself about your own life, the better off you are. It makes you stronger, plus you are writing about your past. It's not your today or your future. The thing is for you to look at your moments of greatness and victory, the moments when you helped another human being as well. The whole process should be balanced between the Good and the Bad. Hell, I could sit down and write about all the good things in my life that happened. However, this would not be an accurate picture of my life, things I did or happened to me. The whole assignment is a great one. It also reflects how you look at yourself or how you would like to look at yourself and your life. Also, you get to confront painful things you might not want to admit or talk about. It opens you up as the human being you really are. i have discovered alot of what you speak of already...i was interested to note the areas i skimmed over and the ones i TOTALLY left out...it is very enlightening to say the least...i actually look forward to doing the next installment...i don't know when that will be yet, but i feel it will be at least easier to start with this 1st one out of the way ....and you cant die from embarrassment or regret LOL it only "feels" like it

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/20/2007 9:21:23 PM)
i just spoke with my Master. He was more then pleased with my obedience, and was kind enough to share that with me. He lavished me with praise, i must admit i'm not real used to that it almost embarrassed me....LOL hell who am i kidding ...it did embarrass me. He has alot to teach me...and i am so excited to see whats next..... i LOVE that about life...the "whats next's".....

AquaticSub -> RE: An assignment by Master (4/21/2007 3:14:04 AM)
Have you asked him what he wants you to focus on? Does he particularly want to hear about your first loves, your education, your family life, etc? That might give you another place to start from. Also, when writing something like this it may help you to make an outline and then fill it in according to that.

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