RE: How Do You...... (Full Version)

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masterwanted -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 4:27:50 PM)

Its not you hunny, its others....

xxxxx




HarleyKitty69 -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 4:30:10 PM)

me thinketh something on this story stinketh
to high heaven ....




crouchingtigress -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 4:31:17 PM)

mastewanted, *soft smile*...i am very sorry this happened to you. i am not trying to kick you when i say this,  i assure you it is coming form a loving place, but it might be hard to hear.

we teach people how treat us by how we treat ourselves.

some how and i dont know how, you are walking around with  a kick me sign on your back, and it is creating dreadful boundary crossings in your life to happen.

maybe now is not the best time for  you to be social.

maybe now might be a good time to become reflective and try to figure out what it is that makes folks want treat you poorly.maybe even seeing some one would help, some one to listen some one to process with...

i think that this could be a big wake up call, because in your mind you asked an innocent question and you got thrashed...why is that do you think?

i have never been beaten but i have been raped, and i know that it is a very traumatic experience and can leave an emotional wound, that wound if not treated can fester and it draws more of the same to it...like attracts like...so you may find yourself abused or as the abuser for years as you try to handle this experience.

i am sure that there are rapes support groups in your area, i really think you should try to go there and be with folks that can support you better then a bunch of us armchair judges and jury's, ...a lot of folks here are walking with their wounds unhealed too...it can be really unhealthy for your self esteem to hang out in a place like this...right now....i wish you well and bid you peace....




sublizzie -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 4:33:02 PM)

So.....

You met this man, got raped, did what you needed to do for him to be prosecuted for the rape then you come here to "warn" others about him but have your threads deleted because they are against TOS. Now you've finally got a thread that is staying but you don't give us pertinent information, just a wish to warn others  in your original post. Now you're coming up with more and more information and feeling degraded.

While it is possible that all of this is true, this is not the way or place to do this. It's laudable to want to warn others but sometimes you've just got to let other people learn their lessons the hard way. I had an "unfortunate" experience with someone I met here too. I did not go on the forums to lambast him. I took it to the people I knew in the local community and other friends who helped me deal with what had happened. Since I wasn't willing to press charges, that's about all that could be done. Coming on here wouldn't have helped anyone. Just as your coming on here isn't helping anyone, including yourself.




auniquegift -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 4:38:04 PM)

masterwanted.....you mentioned in the beginning he was a player...he blocked you...didnt want to bother with you after sex....well you had sex.....that sounds consensual.....
consensual cannot be called rape....

i feel sorry for you if  this is what happened....but take it for what it is ..if it was rape... know that he is the one with low self esteem and you where in the wrong place at the wrong time.......

if you are going to say something say it the first time....dont say one thing and think everyone knows what you mean.....




slavejali -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 4:40:27 PM)

Fast Reply:

I agree with those who said "warning others, doesnt amount to much".

My first husband was incredibly abusive, he even openly admitted it to future partners but also said "It was my fault".. "i made him like that"...they believed him, hated me for creating such a monster.......stayed with him.

Time tells all....

Now he has a list of women who he blames for every action he has done and a list of women who have realised that perhaps the blame shouldn't be on the women he has abused after all.

If what you are saying is true, this really isnt the place for you right now.




Aileen68 -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 5:07:58 PM)

Had I thought that your post from the opening was about a rape I most certainly never would have been as callous as I was.  I am sorry for that.  If you do want honest replies to a seriosu subject, you need to be honest with the information given from the very beginning.   I do hope you're able to work all of this out.




Missokyst -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 6:01:53 PM)

So I guess you don't believe in personal responsibility, huh?  How lame is it to continue to do the same dance, and not learn a thing.  If you know he is only playing you, why do you pick up the piece and join?
Screw the blocking angle.  You don't need to block to resist this man.  You need some sense.

edited to add.. and as someone who has been raped I can tell you I didn't contact my rapist after and ask why he won't talk to me.  And I certainly didn't go out of my way to meet him again, even though he was family by marriage.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterwanted

Ok, the guy has chased me all over vanilla sites for over 2 years.....We meet, he half kills me with punishment and has sex with with me




sillygirl09 -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 6:55:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterwanted

Yes I have....I just wanted to warn other subs.....Im only sorry ive had to pay twice........

x


I got lost somehow - when did you have to pay twice??




mnottertail -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 6:57:35 PM)

I would be willing to take two, yes folks count 'em; two, free blowjobs.

Hope this helps,
Ron




Aswad -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 8:16:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

obviously you are, because taking your own swabs wouldn't work.  and even if you did have swabs taken, the officer would not have allowed you to keep them.  all evidence must be kept in secure place to insure no tampering.....


The officer may have allowed her to keep them. Police do all sorts of funny things. They're only human.

That said, it isn't admissible, which isn't just about a secure place, but the entire "chain of custody" thing. Trying to get it admitted as evidence would probably count against her.




Aswad -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 8:25:36 PM)

edit: contents intentionally deleted by original author




Aswad -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 8:34:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterwanted

I tried unsucessfully to log three rape threads, naming him or my contact details, each time it was deleted.....As for not mentioning the word RAPE earlier.....have you ever thought im trying to deal with it myself........And beating me half to death and having sex with me, is rape here in the UK.......


Ah. That's much clearer, now.

Seek professional help, family or possibly a crisis center of some sort. A forum is the last place one should be posting, or asking for advice, when one is in that kind of a bad place. It's hard to put things coherently, easy to misinterpret what is said, and easy to say or do things that aren't constructive in the long run, such as blocking people.

I realize this is hard for you, but please consider the fact that until he has been tried and convicted in a court of law, his name has no business being on this forum, and the people who own the forum may end up losing the forum if they don't delete it.

You know that he is guilty, since you were there. But in a free society, one has to have the principle of "innocent until proven guilty", and that proof has to be presented to society, not to the victim. Until such time, anything else is potentially libellous, even if it is true.

Edit:

And, really, don't hang out here. For your own good. As someone pointed out, this is not the best place for you, if you want to heal. What you said about feeling more degraded as time went by really emphasises this point.

I know you'll probably take offense at this, but I mean it well:

Try to consider that you're still alive, and don't get too attached to the event. Consider what went wrong, and how to recognize the danger. Focus on the fact that he was a bastard, rather than on the fact that you were raped. Assault is never nice. Adding sex to the mix doesn't make it any better, but how much worse it makes it depends on the context you attach to it, and this determines how completely you heal, and how quickly. Don't let others tell you what you are feeling, or what they think you should feel.

Best wishes,
Aswad.




PilotPTK -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 8:38:35 PM)

Removed because I don't have any desire to be flamed.




Aswad -> RE: How Do You...... (4/19/2007 8:45:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PilotPTK

Removed because I don't have any desire to be flamed.


If it was for me, feel free to PM me. I'm flame proof, and I don't breathe fire unless you hurt animals and tell me about it. [:D]




Jevousadore -> RE: How Do You...... (4/20/2007 4:49:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

mastewanted, *soft smile*...i am very sorry this happened to you. i am not trying to kick you when i say this,  i assure you it is coming form a loving place, but it might be hard to hear.

we teach people how treat us by how we treat ourselves.

some how and i dont know how, you are walking around with  a kick me sign on your back, and it is creating dreadful boundary crossings in your life to happen.

maybe now is not the best time for  you to be social.

maybe now might be a good time to become reflective and try to figure out what it is that makes folks want treat you poorly.maybe even seeing some one would help, some one to listen some one to process with...

i think that this could be a big wake up call, because in your mind you asked an innocent question and you got thrashed...why is that do you think?

i have never been beaten but i have been raped, and i know that it is a very traumatic experience and can leave an emotional wound, that wound if not treated can fester and it draws more of the same to it...like attracts like...so you may find yourself abused or as the abuser for years as you try to handle this experience.

i am sure that there are rapes support groups in your area, i really think you should try to go there and be with folks that can support you better then a bunch of us armchair judges and jury's, ...a lot of folks here are walking with their wounds unhealed too...it can be really unhealthy for your self esteem to hang out in a place like this...right now....i wish you well and bid you peace....


crouchingtigress....

Wonderful post.......I could not agree with you more. 

jevousadore




MariaB -> RE: How Do You...... (4/20/2007 5:07:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I always fuck women who chase me all over the internet, they always turn out to be well grounded stable lovers.  Now if they simply follow me around in order to read anything I write because they crave it but are well mannered, well that just makes me hot as hell.

See and I have been following you for months already....DAYUM!   ;)


Darn me too. Mind you he is kind of cute, even if he is a Dom!!!




susie -> RE: How Do You...... (4/20/2007 5:39:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterwanted

This is to Aillen....and Her doubting crew.......


I tried unsucessfully to log three rape threads, naming him or my contact details, each time it was deleted.....As for not mentioning the word RAPE earlier.....have you ever thought im trying to deal with it myself........And beating me half to death and having sex with me, is rape here in the UK.......

Yes the police are fully involved....My nurse friend collected the swabs from the hospital, An emergency GP ( thats General Practitoner) came out and took the swabs and signed them and they were held for 3 hours in sealed bags in my freezer as the police got called out on a shooting......

Is there any part of this that my fellow subs would like me to make more degrading?

x


Actually here in the UK, beating you is assualt. Having sex with you is not rape unless it was non-consensual. By the tone of your message it would appear that you agreed to have sex with him.

As for the swabs, whether the police left them with you for 3 minutes or 3 hours means that any solicitor would get them disallowed as evidence very quickly in court. PACE (Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984) rules are very strict in the UK and this evidence would be seen as not safe.





MellowSir -> RE: How Do You...... (4/20/2007 5:48:50 AM)

I think we are all "players" to a degree. The men play at chasing and the women play at hard-to-get lol. It's a game that has gone on for thousands of years and always shall. Brings to mind the old movie Logan's Run. How nice it would be if we could just dial-a-partner lol.




Aswad -> RE: How Do You...... (4/20/2007 6:31:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

As for the swabs, whether the police left them with you for 3 minutes or 3 hours means that any solicitor would get them disallowed as evidence very quickly in court. PACE (Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984) rules are very strict in the UK and this evidence would be seen as not safe.


If it weren't for the police officer in charge being a friend of hers (IIRC), this wouldn't be a big problem, as a sealed evidence bag will show signs of tampering. But given that relation, it would be no problem to get it disallowed.

The best course of action would be to get to the hospital, and have them do a new set of swabs and so forth, while there still is time. IIRC, the effective time limit on evidence collection is 72 hours max.




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