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Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 5:43:57 PM

WiseCracknSadist

Posts: 163
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

I was reading through some profiles today when I noticed something. Some people have reduced finding someone to an application process. Height, weight, age, skin tone, hair color, preferences, fetishes, on and on. I was beginning to wonder when I was going to have to apply for a credit check.

I totally believe in people should have their criteria. But when is too much way too much? What happened to opposites atrract?

Also if you're complaining about people lying perhaps they're doing so to get around all your criterias. Try some basic criterias. Then talk with the people and see if there's chemistry.

Am I ranting? Probably. Ok I feel better.

Post #: 1

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 5:48:02 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I really believe in arranged marriages(partnerships) actually. I'm glad people are taking the time to 'arrange' their partnerships. Initial 'attractions' arent a reliable source of information for a potential, lasting relationship. Just my humble opinion.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 2

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 5:53:07 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings wisecracknsadist,

i agree with you wholeheartedly. i try not to, and i would still attempt to do this were i seeking a collar, make a laundry list of qualities. the things that ARE important to me to qualify are certain things about myself that may immediately knock me off of others' lists - my health problems, the fact that i am a plus-size woman, tattoos and piercings, etc. those are the things i try to include in profiles when seeking, mainly because i think that's important for the other person to know up front so they can make an informed decision about whether to continue contact with me. for myself, i have preferences - i like tall guys, i like heavily built men, i prefer women who are not girly-girls, etc. but that said, the only tall guys i've ever been with are not heavily built, and both long-term d/s relationships i've been in were/are with men who fit neither of those qualities; the women i've been with have all been fairly feminine. so...needless to say, i don't feel a need to put out a laundry list, mainly because i've had some amazing experiences deviating from what i "usually" find attractive or -think- i want.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 3

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 5:58:34 PM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Hi WiseCracknSadist,
I was one of those people who had a laundry list of traits I was looking for in a Dom. One one hand it was very useful in keeping me from "trying on" relationships that were obviously not going to work for me in the long term. On the other hand, I had to throw my rule of "we must email for a few weeks before moving to the phone" out, because my dom was dyslexic and couldn't carry on long conversations by typing them out. I feel there's a balance between being too wishy-washy and too constrained in a search.
~Molly~

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 4

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 6:03:14 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

I was reading through some profiles today when I noticed something. Some people have reduced finding someone to an application process. Height, weight, age, skin tone, hair color, preferences, fetishes, on and on. I was beginning to wonder when I was going to have to apply for a credit check.

I totally believe in people should have their criteria. But when is too much way too much? What happened to opposites atrract?

Also if you're complaining about people lying perhaps they're doing so to get around all your criterias. Try some basic criterias. Then talk with the people and see if there's chemistry.

Am I ranting? Probably. Ok I feel better.

Criterion; singular. Criteria; plural. I think that's how it goes.

I agree with you. Laundry lists of criteria often underlying a "numbers game" approach to meeting someone to fit into a cookie cutter idealized partnershape. Yech.

I encourage people to consider that it will be hard to meet someone surprisingly well suited to you if your restrict your efforts to people who must look utterly familiar in dozens of ways.

As some sort of corollary to these oh-so-uninspiring presentations you describe, I'll note the dreadful "twenty questions" interview style initial conversations, seemingly intended to quickly determine whether one fits the cookie cutter.

Life is to short, and getting to know people is too delicious, to take an efficiency oriented approach to either.

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 5

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 6:07:26 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

It's a lot of information. I suppose people can want different things for different reasons.

I tend to have prospective slaves write essays and such, but that's typically to test if they're serious. I can't speak for why others might do such things.

But, on the human level, yeah, it's a pain. This lifestyle can feel unnecessary complicated at times when you back away from it.

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 6

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 6:08:11 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

Too much is all dependent on who you are. When you read a profile and you are turned off by the criterion, it's too much for you.
Regardless of whether my criterion are too much for you or not, I hardly think that justifies anyone lying to me. I have a right to define what I want in a relationship. And as such, I think it is my right to say I'm not interested in you no matter how badly you want me to be. Lying to get around it does nothing but piss me off, and waste our mutual time.

Looking for chemistry is great, but looking at reality is better. I could meet and fall in love or lust for subs that live all over the country - but the reality is that I don't spend enough time at the computer or on the phone for a long distance relationship to be successful. So I'm looking for local. And all the chemistry in the world won't make someone be local to me if they aren't already. So I do see what you are saying, but people have a right to decide what they want, too.

~E

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 7

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 6:30:27 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

There is a thread, may have been on here, about what is the appropriate information to provide to somebody you are planning to meet.

Somebody was stating that providing a taxpayer ID number (SSN) was appropriate. This person could not articulate why it was important, but they seemed almost rabid about how vital it was to the screening process.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 8

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 10:07:33 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

I was reading through some profiles today when I noticed something. Some people have reduced finding someone to an application process. Height, weight, age, skin tone, hair color, preferences, fetishes, on and on. I was beginning to wonder when I was going to have to apply for a credit check.

The last time I began actively looking again I felt a little like I was going to job interviews rather than dates. It is a down side to internet dating in my mind. Before I had always kinda "found" people accidently through friends or work or whatever, but because I knew I was looking for a very specific sort of person (meaning a partner for a D/s dynamic) it became more complicated.

quote:

I totally believe in people should have their criteria. But when is too much way too much?

I think that each individual decides what is good enough for them, and what is too much. If they are satisfied with their own choices and that those choices may mean they spend a very long time alone, well that is their choice. Not for me to say. I do not understand why people being choosy would trouble you, it really has no relation to your life. I would rather have someone that was rather choosy than someone that was willing to be with any old body that came along.

quote:

What happened to opposites atrract?

For me at least, it is utter BS. Opposites do not attract me, they repel me. Birds of a feather, like attracts like... I find this more conducive to lasting relationships in my own personal experience. Others may have a different experience.

quote:

Also if you're complaining about people lying perhaps they're doing so to get around all your criterias. Try some basic criterias. Then talk with the people and see if there's chemistry.

Hmmmm, what you are saying is that a person being choosy is an excuse for someone lying to them and misrepresenting who they are as to fool someone and con them into meeting them. All I can say is "wow dude", that really is something. One of my top criteria when looking for a Dom was that he be honest with me.

And BTW, as choosy as I am, my Daddy was one of the first people that emailed me the first night I posted my profile on another site. Oh surely I talked to several, but it just so happened that the bestest most suitable person for me was one of the first to email me. My criteria was intelligence, kindness, open mindedness, a love of kids, art, and a sense of humor. He exceeded my expectations.. so being choosy does not mean that one will not soon find what they are looking for... just sayin.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 9

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/19/2007 10:47:30 PM

BrutalDemon

Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

I tried starting out with a big shopping list of things I was looking for... after nearly a year, I've relaxed most of them. In fact, I can give you the full list right now...

1) Must have a pulse

... but even that's only a guideline, really.

_____________________________

Old enough to know better... but still young enough to not care

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/20/2007 1:31:30 AM

NoirUMC

Posts: 132
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

My Top Criteria:

Do you feel the US Government should issue $1 coins and, if so, what color should they be?

What else do you need to know about a person, after all?

P.S.

I guess that would make it a little hard for those of you searching outside the states, huh. :|

< Message edited by NoirUMC -- 4/20/2007 1:33:35 AM >

_____________________________

-J

Working around the clock to find new and entertaining misspellings

(in reply to BrutalDemon)

Post #: 11

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/20/2007 6:22:13 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

A lot of people log in to the personal ad-type sites and become like kids in a candy store. There seems to be soooo many prospects out there that they believe they can now FINALLY find exactly what they believe will be the perfect partner for them. Just check off the Chinese menu of preferences and he or she is out there somewhere. They won't ever have to "settle" again.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to NoirUMC)

Post #: 12

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/20/2007 8:27:04 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

Laundry lists are stupid in my book. I don't think I've ever had a relationship with anyone who has come near to fitting my hypothetical list. The one that came nearest was the last one I needed in my life.

Then again the main thing on my list is: Not interested in a serious relationship. I guess that gets rid of most possible partners.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 13

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/20/2007 8:36:15 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Actually if someone showed up with a really well done resume, I'd be impressed.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 14

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/20/2007 10:07:01 AM

ShadowMster

Posts: 94
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Then again the main thing on my list is: Not interested in a serious relationship. I guess that gets rid of most possible partners.

or atleast most of the partners looking for long term relationships. I suspect however you sill still get fill of one liners.

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 15

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/20/2007 10:14:29 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

I was reading through some profiles today when I noticed something. Some people have reduced finding someone to an application process. Height, weight, age, skin tone, hair color, preferences, fetishes, on and on. I was beginning to wonder when I was going to have to apply for a credit check.

I totally believe in people should have their criteria. But when is too much way too much? What happened to opposites atrract?

Also if you're complaining about people lying perhaps they're doing so to get around all your criterias. Try some basic criterias. Then talk with the people and see if there's chemistry.

Am I ranting? Probably. Ok I feel better.

Resume?
Oh sure, I have a resume on here, it starts out thusly;
"Ladies, I'm looking for a job.
Do you have any openings I could fill?"

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Post #: 16

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/21/2007 10:41:30 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Seriously, I tried to make my profile so that many women would be interested.
And I tried to be very descriptive of myself.
If two people only have a few things in common I think that's enough to get along.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 17

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/21/2007 10:51:27 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

I don't summarize neatly in a few paragraphs, nor would I wish to.

Where is the joy of discovery, if we simply match lists, and go? Ever try something not your favorite, only to have it become your new favorite?

If a resume helps you, that's great. I don't use, or solicit, them.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 18

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/21/2007 11:02:04 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Some folks are looking for specific things some folks are looking for romance for others practical matters trump romance.
Not everyone is looking for a (husba dom), or (hu sub and) *grin*
Some folks are looking to fill an actual possition in their household, some are looking for a relationship that is not hearts and flowers but more practical in nature.
Niether is right or wrong they simply are approaching the relationship differently.

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 19

RE: Have you printed out your resume? - 4/21/2007 11:09:37 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Some folks are looking for specific things some folks are looking for romance for others practical matters trump romance.
Not everyone is looking for a (husba dom), or (hu sub and) *grin*
Some folks are looking to fill an actual possition in their household, some are looking for a relationship that is not hearts and flowers but more practical in nature.
Niether is right or wrong they simply are approaching the relationship differently.

Good point, depending on what one is looking for will determine how long their laundry list will be. If one is looking for a play partner, it probably would be significantly less long than someone seeking a life mate.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 20

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