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kaie -> RE: The Daddy Dynamic (4/21/2007 6:26:12 PM)
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This is something that i am new to exploring myself but may have a few insights as to why it works, not so much as to what it is though. i'll start off by saying that i grew up in the military, which i see several other subs have also. i was a daddy's girl as a child. Very close to my father, who was also very strict. He left when i was 13 very suddenly and our relationship after that was never quite the same. i was spanked as a child but it was always in a very loving and learning way. i think maybe that's why i find comfort in spankings and comfort in having someone else in charge.
i am married and have only been exploring this lifestyle for about 5 years. While my husband is interested in this lifestyle, and wasn't at all shocked when i came to him saying i was a submissive, he's not as, or hasn't been as, interested in it as i have. i think we've found out why. He's a daddy, not a Master and we've been trying to do the M/s thing and it's been very hard and frustrating. He's not into me serving him. We both work fulltime and we have kids so he doesn't expect me to nor does he want me to do EVERYTHING because i'm his slave/sub. He wants to and likes helping me out with things. However when we try to impliment the M/s thing it always lead to disaster because neither of us were happy. i think because of labels and ideas we felt that i had to be a cowering, mindless automoton and he had to be the big bad Master. The daddy thing always kind of thrilleed me but it also kind of creeped me out. Since i was very close to my dad i thought maybe it meant i secretly wanted to have sex with my dad. To have my husband be my daddy, and we have kids, would that mean if he was a Daddy Dom that he has secret fantasies about having sex with our children? It was a topic that i was attracted to but would avoid for those reasons. i recently read the same essay by Kendra and it really summed it up all very nicely. i have not desire to be a child that gets molested, nor does my husband have any desire to be with a child. But the roles fit who we are. He's more of a nurturing Dom, who would rather spoil me than make me scrub the floors (things i do anyway). i tend to be more of a "bratty" sub.....though i think that term gets a bad wrap so i prefer the term playful. Really i think the difference between a Daddy/girl, M/s, and D/s is just the names. It's all some form of a D/s relationship but too often the labels get in the way and make people feel like they have to live up to the title. Somewhere out there there's a couple that don't like the title M/s, D/s, or Daddy/girl and they'll go with the B/s title.....Boss and secretary. ~wink~
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