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The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 10:58:06 PM

smcontrol

Posts: 33
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline

While traveling all over the boards tonight (Is it just me or does D/s & insomnia rhyme?) I keep coming across girls mentioning their "Daddy." I'm curious if this is more than a simple name like "Master" or "Dominate" or if there is more involved than my limited understanding understands?

What makes a Daddy/little girl path different from a Master/slave deal?

_____________________________

Michael

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills."

Ernest Hemingway, 1929

Post #: 1

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:08:18 PM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

Hiya there, Oh sleepless one.

I don't get the whole Daddy thing. If I wanted my daddy I'd have stayed at home.

For some, however, it's a way to relate on what they may feel is a deeper level for them. It leads to the little one feeling more safty and more loved and cuddled. FOr some it's way to get back in touch with childhood feelings. For others, well it just does it for them, makes them hot to look up in the semi dark and say "Oooh that's nice daddy." Or turns them on sitting on their daddies big knee with their arms circling his neck to cuddle in.

Although it's not my thing, we've got a few here who are into it who's opinions I really respect and love learning from.

~dancer

Edited to add: how it differs for me from other forms of D/s is my husband is my Master, I don't see him as a father, I see him as a man who can bend my will with just a look.

< Message edited by desertdancer -- 4/19/2007 11:10:41 PM >

_____________________________

* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 2

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:09:17 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smcontrol

While traveling all over the boards tonight (Is it just me or does D/s & insomnia rhyme?) I keep coming across girls mentioning their "Daddy." I'm curious if this is more than a simple name like "Master" or "Dominate" or if there is more involved than my limited understanding understands?

What makes a Daddy/little girl path different from a Master/slave deal?

For us?

My Daddy makes the rules in our relationship. He sets the tone. His word is my law. I am secure with him. He gives me structure without micromanaging me. In these things it is not different... in some other ways it is.

I do not always refer to him as Daddy, although mostly I do. There is no set rule for me to do so, but I want to. I do not kneel at his feet in servitude. This is not role play for us, it is how we relate. I would think that some find a more nurturing place with a Daddy Dom. I have had one other dominant that I called "master" or "sir", and I found that relationship lacked the intimacy the one I am now in enjoys. There is a sense of intimacy with my Daddy, there is a sense that his authority is somewhat parental in nature, not that of a master or a dominant. It is more about "us" than about just him. It is about us being more together than we were apart.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 3

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:18:06 PM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

As with all relationships within this lifestyle, that covers a lot of ground. It is different things to different people. I will answer from my own perspective.

Many, many moons ago, I knew that my idea of a relationship was that I had to be the "ultimate authority". I understood this as one of my character traits. Many of my associates (mostly at work or what have you) suggested that I might be into BDSM.

At the time, all of the venues in which I chose to explore the possibility seemed to me to be populated by egomaniacs and misogynists. That is DEFINITELY not who I am.

A female friend of mine (who taught me MANY things, by the way) was asking me what my opposition to the lifestyle was and I explained it to her, as best I could. Her response, in a nut-shell, was: "OMG! You run into a few (dozen LOL!) idiots and you're ready to give up?". Then, she explained to me how and why she thought I was a "Daddy".

I was still sure that the "Daddy Dom/babygirl" dynamic was about age play (which revulses me) but, I tried to keep an open mind.

Quite a few years passed and I was speaking to another young lady and she asked me, basically, the same questions about the DD/bg dynamic, in particular. By this time, I was identifying myself as a dominant but, I really didn't feel like I "fit in", anywhere. She gave me a short essay by a lady named "Kendra" who, I believe, MUST have some fairly extensive experience.

For only the second time in my life, I realized that another person had known me (or at least, a part of myself) better than I knew me. It was an epiphany, to say the very least and I have NEVER looked back.

In my mind, a "Daddy" is more of a nurturer than a punisher. He inspires submission but, he does so by lovingly doling out his discipline (I am NOT speaking of the physical). He truly cares for not only the needs but the wants that he deems important of his submissive. He treats his baby girl like his most precious possession in a (get ready to puke, especially if you HATED Pres. Bush I) kinder, gentler, way than I have seen exhibited in the Master/slave dynamic.

To me, it is the fine line that a person who is somewhat egotistical (me) treads between being a "it's-all-about-me-bitch" type and 'nilla, "gee-I'd-really-like-it-if-you-would ..." type.

I hope some of this helped.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 4

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:18:36 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

In our relationship everything. I know that's a bit vauge but we're not at all like Master slave.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smcontrol
What makes a Daddy/little girl path different from a Master/slave deal?

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 5

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:28:59 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: smcontrol

While traveling all over the boards tonight (Is it just me or does D/s & insomnia rhyme?) I keep coming across girls mentioning their "Daddy." I'm curious if this is more than a simple name like "Master" or "Dominate" or if there is more involved than my limited understanding understands?

What makes a Daddy/little girl path different from a Master/slave deal?

For us?

My Daddy makes the rules in our relationship. He sets the tone. His word is my law. I am secure with him. He gives me structure without micromanaging me. In these things it is not different... in some other ways it is.

I do not always refer to him as Daddy, although mostly I do. There is no set rule for me to do so, but I want to. I do not kneel at his feet in servitude. This is not role play for us, it is how we relate. I would think that some find a more nurturing place with a Daddy Dom. I have had one other dominant that I called "master" or "sir", and I found that relationship lacked the intimacy the one I am now in enjoys. There is a sense of intimacy with my Daddy, there is a sense that his authority is somewhat parental in nature, not that of a master or a dominant. It is more about "us" than about just him. It is about us being more together than we were apart.

I enjoyed reading this description, Julia. You bring clarity to the concept that I had otherwise lacked. Thank you for taking the time to post it.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 6

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:29:17 PM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

A M/s relationship can intersect with a parent/child relationship, and vice versa. The portion of a P/c relationship which tends to extend beyond a M/s relationship is empathy, kindness, gentleness, and TREMENDOUS emotional security. A P/c relationship by definition is never S/m. While a master may be viewed as dressed in black leatner with a whip in a dungeon; a Daddy is like a unicorn with sparkles, who stands in front of a rainbow.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 7

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:40:24 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

A M/s relationship can intersect with a parent/child relationship, and vice versa. The portion of a P/c relationship which tends to extend beyond a M/s relationship is empathy, kindness, gentleness, and TREMENDOUS emotional security. A P/c relationship by definition is never S/m. While a master may be viewed as dressed in black leatner with a whip in a dungeon; a Daddy is like a unicorn with sparkles, who stands in front of a rainbow.

I am a masochist, and my Daddy beats me black and blue...smiles. He does so with tenderness and even sometimes a gentle expression on his face... oh wow there is so much glitter in those bruises when I get to relish them after he is done taking a cane type weapon called a bokken to my ass or a wooden soup spoon, or his bare hand.... he knows how to rub them out, but he knows how I relish sitting down gingerly.... especially on the train home

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 4/19/2007 11:43:16 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to aldompdx)

Post #: 8

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:44:37 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I enjoyed reading this description, Julia. You bring clarity to the concept that I had otherwise lacked. Thank you for taking the time to post it

I really like being understood, thanks owned!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:48:14 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I really like being understood, thanks owned!

Understood? That's such a rarity for me - what's it like??

You are welcome, Julia!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:49:04 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I really like being understood, thanks owned!

Understood? That's such a rarity for me - what's it like??

You are welcome, Julia!

Actually, I think I understand you much better than I did a year ago...smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 11

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/19/2007 11:51:23 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Actually, I think I understand you much better than I did a year ago...smiles

LOL I think I understand me better, too!

Okay we should stop the hijack now, fun as it is....

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 12

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 3:02:24 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smcontrol
What makes a Daddy/little girl path different from a Master/slave deal?

Like most things in this relationship, it varies, from relationship to relationship. Not as a cop out, but it's just important to say in advance.

The Daddy/daughter relationship can be either Master/slave or Dom/sub. I'm tempted to say Dom/sub is more common, but my sample size isn't adequate to make such a statement.

Daddy/daughter relationships tend to be far less sadistic/masochistic than typical BDSM relationships. While still revolving heavily around D/s, they often empathesis nurturing and love to a strong degree. (This isn't to say there aren't incredibly sadistic D/d relationships, though.)

The "daughter" can also be referred to as an "immature"- not only as an adjective, but as a noun. Daughters may be cute, playful, silly, and child-like. Some take this all the way and are literally convinced that they're actually kids, unable to handle themselves as adults, but this is more the exceptional case than the norm.

I'm having trouble really summing it up, despite having held the Daddy role before. =/ I suppose it's hard to speak for others. I did like aldompdx's response, though.

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 13

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 4:58:17 AM

raevnn

Posts: 152
Status: offline

First, it has nothing to do with s&m for us. Daddy whips me, sticks me with needles, slaps me, canes me, pulls my hair, etc.

It also has nothing to do with me being a spoiled princess who always gets my way. I serve Daddy and take care of all my chores and make sure he is happy.

It might have to do with our mannerisms and preferences, more than anything else. I tend to be 'little' most any time I am with my Daddy and we are not working. I dress in a lot of things that might be considered childish (knee socks, short skirts just above the knee, mary janes) and I am not allowed to wear lots of make-up. I can wear stuff on my lips sometimes, but Daddy has to be with me when I buy it make sure it's not too dark. If I sit on the floor, it's normally cross legged and pressed against his legs... I don't have prim and proper positions that I kneel and rest in. Meanwhile, Daddy really enjoys when I'm 'little' - it makes him smile and laugh and he's generally very comfortable with me... and turned on... which is a whole other story (yes, we get turned on by the dynamic and no, we would never, ever touch a child and think that people who do are sick and should be locked up for life... I get tired of explaining this to people, so please understand why I'm being short with it). It just fits for us.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 14

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 5:11:07 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i am a daughter to my Daddy
i am a submissive to my Dom
i do not have a Master because i'm not a slave to Him

Daddy doesn't abuse and/or demand my submission from me ...i offered my submission as a gift when He collared me. He inspires and guides me into becoming a better person and woman than i was before He found me. He's a loving and caring Dom to a strong and intelligent woman. i enjoy being His little girl - something i sorely missed with my real father (military dad) while growing up.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 4/20/2007 5:14:17 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 15

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 5:33:30 AM

BrainSlugs83

Posts: 117
Joined: 2/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

First, it has nothing to do with s&m for us. Daddy whips me, sticks me with needles, slaps me, canes me, pulls my hair, etc.

Wait.. how does that have nothing to do with s&m? That sounds exactly like s&m...

And yeah, when I was on the outside looking in, I wondered about the child molestation thing... but the people who do the parent/child dynamic, are usually sane and disgusted by it.

First off, do you know any parents in real life (besides yours?) they're in control of their children (to some degree... unless they're horrible parents) but their kid is not their slave. -- Growing up, I knew a girl, who complained that her mom treated her like a slave (cinderella) -- so her mom made her the family slave for a week to show her the difference (no, not sexual, think sane thoughts, sane, sane...)

I think for some people it's a part of D/s and for some, it's unrelated... Just recently I was asked to roleplay with a non-submissive girl, who is a daughter type. She's not a 24/7, so I don't know if this counts (the daddy stuff is mostly greek to me)... she wants to be exploited for sex, and punished for not doing chores, etc, but as a part of our role play, she's not actually going to do random chores for me, (though I may try to get her too... -- but again, it's not 24/7 so, I don't know if this counts for the discussion...) And she is the type of girl that if she was in a D/s 24/7 she'd need a list on the fridge anyway of her chores so she can cross them off (she's forgetful), I told her this once, and she got bright red: she lives with her parents now, and is currently manging her chores with a similar system...

Anyway, I'm interested in learning more about the Parent/Child dynamic, I wonder if there can be such a thing as a child dom, and parent sub... (what I'm interested in...)

(in reply to raevnn)

Post #: 16

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 5:43:51 AM

MellowSir

Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

What's in a name lol. "Daddy" to one may have quite dif connotations to another. Whatever works, works.

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 17

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 6:19:03 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

to answer your query, my Daddy/daughter D/s relationship has nothing to do with child molestation and/or being molested/abused as a child. i grew up military until i was 18 and i never once had a "normal" father like most of my friends. nope i had a military dad 24/7/365 days a year who rarely nurtured, inspired or shaped me into the woman i was before i met Daddy. yeah my real father sucked terribly in fatherhood with all 5 of us ( i have 4 brothers) ...especially with me.

when Daddy found me on another site, i was a orphaned, wild child who was looking for love in all the wrong guys ...i knew what i was looking for yet i was still picking men who really didn't meet my standards. there's a definite and noticeable change in me now - more confidient ...meeting a better quality of men ...successful and rising local celeb status with my reviews - just to name a few. yet each Daddy/daughter dynamic is different from mine with Daddy.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to BrainSlugs83)

Post #: 18

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 7:10:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_668543/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#668698
Age play dynamics

http://www.collarchat.com/m_580865/mpage_1/key_age%252Cplay/tm.htm#580890
Ms and age play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_546688/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#546972
Another daddy dom question

http://www.collarchat.com/m_541638/mpage_2/key_daddy/tm.htm#541832
How does a dom decide to be a daddy ?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_540044/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#540129
Daddy's Girl

http://www.collarchat.com/m_278285/mpage_2/key_daddy/tm.htm#278992
What exactly is a daddy dom?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_259176/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#259184
Are there any daddies here?

Daddy/Daughter Roleplay

Daddydoms and Babygirls

Daddy?

Daddy/little girl

Hiding Daddy's Belt

Daddy doms

Daddy's little girl

Daddy? (2)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to smcontrol)

Post #: 19

RE: The Daddy Dynamic - 4/20/2007 9:57:06 AM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I am a masochist, and my Daddy beats me black and blue...smiles. He does so with tenderness and even sometimes a gentle expression on his face... oh wow there is so much glitter in those bruises when I get to relish them after he is done taking a cane type weapon called a bokken to my ass or a wooden soup spoon, or his bare hand.... he knows how to rub them out, but he knows how I relish sitting down gingerly.... especially on the train home

Yes, YOU are a masochist. That does not mean your partner is a sadist. Further, there are many abusive parents in real life. There are many abused children that grow up to be co-dependent adults, whose subconscious relationship goal is to re-create their childhood in order to "get it right" the second time around.

Nothing you said contradicts anything I said. In fact, he gives you exactly what you desire with great tenderness, care, and love. Thank you for agreeing with what I have said, and demonstrating how our perspectives are not mutually exclusive.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 20

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