Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message


Sweetbluerose -> Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/19/2007 10:59:37 PM)

I wonder if I am the only woman on here, that has the bad luck to find Doms/Masters who say they want ltr or rt play. But, who really want someone to send them nude pictures, some erotic writings, and/or phone sex. It may be that I am just incrediably gulible and naive.
I find that everything is great as long as I do as they say, but the minute I ask a casual question about their availability for calls or instant messages, or when we are going to meet for real, the communication stops abruptly?
Is it because these questions aren't submissive? Or that they are lying about being available to play real time, or they are just looking for nonreal gratification?




texancutie -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/19/2007 11:07:02 PM)

You have every right to ask questions, and you also don't owe them anything.  Who is to say these men are even really what they claim to be?  You are assuming just because a guy you meet online, tells you he is an experienced Dominant or Master, that he really is.

Try reading the BDSM acid test.  You can google it.  It's good reading for newbies, and may help you weed out the unwanted.  Just be thankful that kind of guy ended up disappearing on you, and you never had the chance to meet them, or get deeply emotionally involved real time.




slavejali -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/19/2007 11:39:54 PM)

Quick Reply:

Honey, guys like to cum, the internet is great porn material, beats sitting with a magazine huh and heck saves 5 bux a minute having to call a live-sex line? Don't worry you're not the only one.




outlier -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 12:01:36 AM)

Sweetbluerose,

I am sorry you have had these experiences but if you read
past posts here it should not surprise you.  Being behind a
computer is empowering, for ill as well as good.

I do not know if it is any consolation but it goes both ways.
I have been contacted by submissives who said things like:
"What would you do to me?".  When I said "First get to
know you better."  They went away.  Good riddance!

I have also meet some very bright, sensitive and I believe
sincere, woman here.  I recommend you keep your options
open while keeping your guard up.   

All the best
Outlier




darbyib6ub9 -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 12:17:43 AM)

Ahhh you met the same spankster I have.  They were just looking for nonreal gratification, oh  and sex. Thet claimed to have 25 yrs Experience in the Lifestyle and many of those 25 years they claimed were as a ProDomme. Then I had to explain subspace to them, go figure.




timorous -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 2:10:17 AM)

The easy solution is to get to know someone BEFORE you decide to submit to them.




leatherorlace -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 3:51:29 AM)

I hesitate to use the word "irony" in My response to you, but there are women on this and most other sites that are as disappointing as the poseurs that you mentioned.
   I will not claim that, I haven't masturbated while on-line because, I did that randy deed on several ocassions when My collared fmeale and I were seperated for a bit. It wasn't as satisfactory for Me as that wonder of holding her close as I mounted her and penetrated the hotness of her, but at the time we were both HORNY and it served a purpose.
  I've met quite a few girls here that are seeking masturbatory fodder to relieve their carnal desires while hubby is at work or forwhatever reasons that they decide is sufficient reason to try and interest Me in continuing beyond the initial stages of meeting on-line.
  There are those that openly masturbated for Me, and to be truthful, I think that, I'm entirely to jaded to have any real interest in their form of play. Having males disguised as women were the ones that have Me denying most chat request, especially if they have no images of themselves on their profile and refuse to send one as required before, I'll talk to them.
   I don't begruded the closeted males their simple pleasures, but images of Me and Mine in sessions etc aren't any of their business and their begging for dirty talk, begging for Me to send them descriptions of how, I would make use of them takes valuable time from My life and I purely detest a liar, especially when they're posing as someone that they aren't.
  I enjoy nude pix's of women, I've received hundreds from females that, I have chatted with and taken thousands real time, but nude is not as necessary, at first, as an image that, I can envision as I chat or swap mail with.
  your experiences are not unusual... The members here and most opther sites have not been vetted for anything. Their ages could be arbitrary lies, I've seen profiles that changed their ages whenever they changed the pix's to match the new persona that they're presenting.
  I'm not ninety-six as My info' states, but this site has a filter that allows one to setup  so that your profile is not shown to folks over a chosen age group. I like yound women, but My preferences are for a mature female that can converse on a level beyond the ever present giggle factor of younger gals. lol  Some of them that contacted Me were incredulous that, I wasn't interested in a prolonged on-line courtship or cyber-sex. Possible meets in the far future aren't of interest to Me, and if, I don't have an image of the person to "face" and look in their eyes as we talk, I have no interest in carrying on a conversation with them.
  I find the males laughable, pathetic and ill mannered just to name a few reasons for My blocking their attempts to engage Me in their sordid little games. They have a huge variety of reasons why they can't present any recent images, and their attempts to continue engaging Me in chat of a sexual nature becomes tiresome, especially after, I've offered My phone number so that we can converse directly and they start another round of excuses for not connecting. Silly assed boydawgs.  
    I find women that use caution and ask questions of interest because, I certainly would have questions and would expect to have them answered fully without evasion or omissions. I'm an avowed sensual sadist, an eroticism permeates My mind and I find it difficult to engage in a session with someone that has no interest in what, I'm doing to her. Submitting for some skewed reason having to do with accepting that you must endure pain to be a collared girl is nonsense as far as I'm concerned. A girl that obtains pleasureable intensity from  certain practices and methods, a girl that learns to completely embrace her sexuality is worthy of ownership.
  Try to accept that most males are actually horny slugs that leave trails of icckkk in anothers mind when we exposed the closeted queens. they're are afraid to discuss their new interests with their equally frustrated wives. It's seriously sad whenever you discover that his wife isn't adverse to submitting to some new practices, but most of them have no desire or no knowledge of how to dominate their closeted hag.
  Because My House practices Poly-Fidelity, I find notes from a male dominat that's "thinkin'" about joining a poly-family and was curious as to whether, I might have an interest in inviting this stranger to come to My home and use My property. When, I explain that the tenets of Viking House doesn't allow anonymous, casual or anyother interactions with strangers, especially strangers that instantly tries to assure Me that he or she is disease free, no addictions other than some alcohol usage or nicotine cunsumption via a stinky and foul smelling, health destroying weed. I probably should mention that, I quit smoking, again, just over two years ago. I really find their stench strong now. I even encoiurage friends to stop and I had some success, but, I find it amazing that they still enrichen the tobacco corp's and knowlingly continue to chance an agonizing death, phenomenal health costs that'll bankrupt most smokers if they were out of work, too.
  Enough already. I have a tendency to digress ard segue during conversations that, I have to type. . I have time to think whenever, I'm writing because, I'm a hunt 'n' peck typist, I do not edit and that causes some confuzzlement or conflicts because, I can drop syntax, shift subjexts, etc because, I have so much time available because of My typing method. lol
  Become less submissive that you've been to date. Ask, inquire, search, inform, learn and always old that truth is an enjoyable commidity to those that only tell the truth.
Gentry
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetbluerose

I wonder if I am the only woman on here, that has the bad luck to find Doms/Masters who say they want ltr or rt play. But, who really want someone to send them nude pictures, some erotic writings, and/or phone sex. It may be that I am just incrediably gulible and naive.
I find that everything is great as long as I do as they say, but the minute I ask a casual question about their availability for calls or instant messages, or when we are going to meet for real, the communication stops abruptly?
Is it because these questions aren't submissive? Or that they are lying about being available to play real time, or they are just looking for nonreal gratification?





NakedGirlScout -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 4:04:31 AM)

Hi Sweetbluerose,
Yes I agree that there's a population of men here (and for that matter everywhere) who only want sexy chat. May I suggest something that worked for me? Refuse to engage in any exchange of photos beyond what you'd feel comfortable sharing with a friend, until you get to know him better. Keep the talk of sex to a minimum too; you can list your interests, but don't go into details until you know each other better. Let the new aquaintanceship develop without anything salacious until you already have the answer to whether he's interested in the same sort of relationship as you are looking for.

I'm not saying you're gullible and naive, and all of us are approached by these types of men, but you can do a lot more to discourage them from sticking to you. Trust me, they get bored easily and will go away when they realize you're not going to "get them off" in chat.




odalisqueslave -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 4:13:53 AM)

wonderful to see posts here from two of my favorite 'guys'...<weg>




'if you your lips would keep from slips,
five things observe with care:
of whom you speak, to whom you speak,
and how, and when, and where'

Charles Kingsley:  The Invitation




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 5:51:51 AM)

i met a Dom like that - we exchanged messages, chatted on the phone for a couple of weeks and planned to meet 3 weeks ago. thank goodness we only shared face pictures and nothing else. however a couple of days before, he abruptly cancels telling some lame excuse because he was logged on here viewing my profile when he was suppose to be working. he did promise to stay in touch with me and hopefully to reschedule.  currently i'm no longer have any interest in this person since lying is one of my major pet peeves ...even turned down his apology.




hammernhoney -> RE: Dom's approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 5:55:45 AM)

I have yet to see how guys gets satisfaction from cyber  sex,,,IF I want hand a hand job I can get one here at home...BH




windchymes -> RE: Dom's approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 6:04:38 AM)

It's a modern twist on the old saying, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Not to compare you to a cow, but if someone asks you for nude pics right away, why in the world would you send them??? 

Like other people have already said here, if a guy asks for pics or starts talking about sex or what he wants you to do to him immediately after meeting you, ignore him and delete him.  Or, if you feel the need to be uber-polite, say "no thank you' and move on.  If he starts asking the wanking questions right away, he's flashing a neon sign at you that that is ALL he is looking for!  That's your clue! 

Then, when you do meet a guy who is respectful of you and tries to get to know YOU, that is your sign that he MIGHT be a potential partner for you. 

Remember....if it wanks, say no thanks! [:)]




sunfleur -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 6:55:24 AM)

you are absolutely not the only one to have this happen.    if you feel uncomfortable with a conversation.. stop it.  you under no obligation to continue.  if they dont like.. oh well.  that's their problem.  i often refer to the literoca web site when they immediately want to know about my 'experiences'.     i dont feel the need to share myself with a stranger and have no issue with telling the inquiring mind that.

sunny




countrygirl69 -> RE: Dom's approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 6:56:44 AM)

wow this came at just the right time I sure know how this is and I unfortunatly got sucked in to a relationship with a faker for almost a year .I didnt meet him on here ,and I started slow the "right" way I thought I knew it was going  bad when after awhile he kept putting off seeing me again in person .but this stupid girl fell for him and trusted him and got so hurt but I guess we live and learn  its hard as a sub I trust easily but I don't think I will again   I realize some to probably most guys will take the easy  way and just get the sexual gratification why not all of the fun none of the drama  now my foundation is shaken and  I don't trust anyone 




crouchingtigress -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 7:12:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: texancutie
Try reading the BDSM acid test. It's good reading for newbies,


you are right TC...here is the link




crouchingtigress -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 7:15:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: outlierI have been contacted by submissives who said things like:
"What would you do to me?".  When I said "First get to
know you better."  They went away.  Good riddance!

I have also meet some very bright, sensitive and I believe
sincere, woman here. 


great advice, nad i would just like to point out that you can say things like "what would you do to me" and still be a sensitive sincere woman....[8D]




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 7:31:58 AM)

When someone asks you to do something you don'tl ike- you say no thanks and walk away.

If they try to manipulate you to stay by shaming you or angering you, then they have the control.  You either give it to them, or you continue to walk away.

You have to consent as much as they do. 

What made you think there aren't asshole doms out there?




leili -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 8:01:02 AM)

eghth, i could comment on this, but probably not a good idea-but you shouldn't do anything just online, specify that you are looking for rt




outlier -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 10:05:11 AM)

Amy,

quote:

crouchingtigress to Outlier
"great advice, nad i would just like to point out that you can say things like "what would you do to me" and still be a sensitive sincere woman...."


I did not say this was bad all the time.  In fact there will come a time
when it is necessary.  But If I tell a woman that I want to "know her"
before I decide what we would do together and that sends her away
than she is not willing to make the same time investment to have the
same experience I am.  Perhaps this quote from my profile will explain.

quote:

speaking of the the physical....
But that is not where the real stimulation lies, it is mental and emotional,
as I said, it lives in the exchange; the intense connection with the partner,
the self feeding loop both nonverbal and verbal that lives and guides, so
I can find and push her limits of intensity without breaking our bond.


It is not that the woman wants to know what I like.  It is that they are trying
to get to the physical too soon, without regard to the other aspects.  This is
the same problem I see the OP having.  Perhaps I should have been more
clear about that in my initial post. 

Outlier




curvyslavegirl -> RE: Doms approaching submissive females and lying about what they want from them? (4/20/2007 1:18:52 PM)

I usually think of requests for photos or webcam time to be red flags. If they're worried that I'm not who I say I am, a clothed picture should prove that just as easily as a naked one! If they ask I usually say "to protect myself from those who might exploit me I have a blanket rule about not doing that until I meet someone in person. You might be a great guy but this keeps me safe, I hope you understand". I find that most who are worth getting to know can accept that pretty easily. Its not personal, its emotional safety. That being said, from there I follow my gut reaction. If something sounds "off" then I tend to back away.




Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125