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How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 1:12:33 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I asked a boy to post this on a message board once, and the post was dismissed. I was dismayed with my friends' reaction to him.

But honestly, this comes up alot. "Do you have sex with your submissives?"

And people respond in so many ways it is absolutely clear they are working with different definitions of sex.

So here we go - how do you define sex?
Is sex:
a) something that makes you orgasm?
b) a penis in and out of a vagina?
c) a penis in and out of an anus?
d) a dildo in and out of a vagina or anus?
e) a dildo in a harness, connected to someone's hips in and out of a vagina?
f) a penis in and out of a mouth?
g) a dildo in and out of a mouth?
h) a dildo in a harness connected to someone's hips in and out of a mouth?
i) a mouth on a vagina?
j) fingers in a vagina?
k) fingers in an anus?
l) a full hand in a vagina?
m) a full hand in an anus?
n) a mouth on an anus?
o) a hand on someone else's penis?

All of the above? only some of the above?

For me, I'm having sex when something is inserted into my vagina or anus. Period.
Sometimes I'm having sex when I'm inserting something into someone else's vagina or anus. I don't always feel when I'm fucking a boy with a strapon that I'm having sex - but I've always considered him to be having sex. Same with giving hand jobs.

But when I'm fisting someone, I'm definitely having sex.

I don't expect anyone to list every letter they consider to be having sex, and whether it is only sex on receiving or giving end. Just hoped to get other people's viewpoints on whether it is all of the above, only some of the above, or whether it depends on if you are giving or receiving.

~E

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 1:16:14 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Sex is everything that involves foreplay and consumation of the sex act.

Sexual intercourse is the penetration of a vagina by a penis.

Edited to add there are particular legal/medical terms for different sex acts.

Sodomy is penetration of the anus

Oral copulation is oral sex.

It helps to be specific

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 4/20/2007 1:17:53 PM >

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 1:18:10 PM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Two people touching one another for mutual gratification.

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 1:24:41 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
It helps to be specific

I certainly agree. Perhaps the biggest issue is that the word "sex" is often used to mean your definition of sex, plus your definition of sexual intercourse, plus your definitions of sodomy and oral copulation...and sometimes other things.

Hence how male subs who are not having sex with their Mistresses are, it turns out, putting their mouths to the Mistress' vagina until the Mistress cums.

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 5:22:08 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		It's frustrating how you make a post trying to get others to think of how they use a word. relevant to many of the posts listed in that category, and it is moved to a section labeled like this.

I'll take this as equivalent to the response my boy received, and say I guess people just want to use ambiguous terms unclearly, intentionally.

~E

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 10:41:58 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		To me, it definitely involves insertion.  Then again, it depends on how deeply you're into it, as well.

Edited to add:  Pun intended.

< Message edited by NakedOnMyChain -- 4/20/2007 10:42:55 PM >

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 11:47:33 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Sex for me is penis to ass or vagina

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/20/2007 11:54:21 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		I cannot see oral sex as "sex"....maybe I should run for president.

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/21/2007 12:07:28 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin

It's frustrating how you make a post trying to get others to think of how they use a word. relevant to many of the posts listed in that category, and it is moved to a section labeled like this.

I'll take this as equivalent to the response my boy received, and say I guess people just want to use ambiguous terms unclearly, intentionally.

~E


Perhaps the section it was moved to was incorrect, but it did not belong in gen BDSM.

From now on just remember that topics about generic sex are not allowed in the  BDSM gen forum... file them yourself in the "off topic" forum.

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/28/2007 3:49:14 PM   
t3nth0usandv0lts


Posts: 70
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		Sex, for me, is penis in vagina or penis in anus.

Oral sex is mouth on genitalia or anus.

Fisting is fisting.

-shrug- I differentiate.

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/28/2007 6:57:42 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Sex is everything that involves foreplay and consumation of the sex act.

Sexual intercourse is the penetration of a vagina by a penis.


By that definition, would oral sex then count as "sex" if it is used as foreplay followed by intercourse, but not if it was performed to bring only one partner to climax, or am i misunderstanding?

i realized long ago that i have pretty odd views on this. IMO, obviously penis-vagina penetration is sex. Penis-anus penetration is sex. Penis-mouth penetration is sex. Oral-vaginal stimulation only counts as sex if the woman climaxes. Hand jobs don't count for either gender, although fisting is in its own unique category of quasi-sexual activity, as is strap-on/dildo sex. It all seems very logical until i think about it, and then i kinda wonder WTF.



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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/28/2007 7:12:22 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Years ago, making fun of the "I don't know much about art, but I know what I like" perspective, someone (I think it was Thurber) did a cartoon about "He knows a lot about art, but he doesn't know what he likes."

And as an artist, you can see how I'm tied in ambiguity when striving to define sex--which way do I go with this? Or do I even accept the premise and the assumptions?

Tim

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/28/2007 9:35:07 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

Sodomy is penetration of the anus

actually the term sodomy in a legal sense can refer to damn near anything other than starigh vaginal intercourse

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/29/2007 3:31:16 AM   
Dastardly


Posts: 58
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		As a dyke oral sex most definitely counts as sex 

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RE: How do you define sex? - 4/29/2007 5:38:07 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Anything that can give you a veneral disease.

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