Formal Training (Full Version)

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Aslanemperor -> Formal Training (4/20/2007 2:48:27 PM)

Ok, I'm a Dom, and I've been training girls for about 4 years, but I never had any real training on my own.  I've mostly learned by trial and error, and by the wisdom of other Masters and Mistresses(and even a few subs.  a couple of them ones I was supposed to be training[;)]).  So here's what I want to know.  Is there somewhere that one can be formally trained as a Dom?  A school which would most likely teach minor psychology and wordplay, and the use of various tools?  I know there are schools for Subs run by Doms, but what about us Doms who don't want to be subs for one reason or another?




Aslanemperor -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 2:56:05 PM)

wow...  I'm getting hits but no one is posting...  I guess not...




PONYSEEKER -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 2:58:35 PM)

Sort of... get in touch with a local group where you can share thoughts and concepts but its pretty much what you make of it anyways... the same groups probably have specific classes.... just google away and you would be surprised at what you find.




LadyHugs -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 2:59:59 PM)

Dear Aslanemperor, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I do recommend looking into Butchman's Academy and or Master Taino Training Academy.  Both address the M/s dynamic.
 
Master Taino's academy addresses the relationship and not so heavy on the S&M.
 
I also recommend for consideration, that you look into the Master-slave conference in July, Washington.DC.
 
Master Taino is a member of Collarme.com and its under MasterTaino or you can look it up on a Google and or Web search.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs




BondageTopJere -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 3:05:52 PM)

Not so much that I've found.  To be honest, training for a Dom kinda like being back in elementary school.  Sure, there are classes on specific subjects, they teach you to read and write, do arithmetic etc.  But the real lessons are out in the playground, finding out new games to play, how to relate to one another, how to pick out the good people you want to be around from the jerks and idiots you want nothing to do with.

For the classroom stuff, there really isn't anything better than what your using, the internet.  This is a flogger, this is how use you it, this is rope and hear the knots you can use, etc.  But the for the playground stuff, the part where you learn to actually apply it all,  local munches and demos are the best way to go.  I learned more about ropework from 2 SIG meetings I went to than in all the reading on the net,




daddysliloneds -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 3:13:26 PM)



quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

Ok, I'm a Dom, and I've been training girls for about 4 years, but I never had any real training on my own.  I've mostly learned by trial and error, and by the wisdom of other Masters and Mistresses(and even a few subs.  a couple of them ones I was supposed to be training[;)]).  So here's what I want to know.  Is there somewhere that one can be formally trained as a Dom?  A school which would most likely teach minor psychology and wordplay, and the use of various tools?  I know there are schools for Subs run by Doms, but what about us Doms who don't want to be subs for one reason or another?


curious...what have you been training those girls to do? what kind of training do you seek; i see wordplay/psychology in your post, but that works/doesn't work differently for each individual you encounter...what implements/tools are you talking about?




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 3:48:32 PM)

Yes. I highly recommend Master Taino's Master's Training Academy. http://masterslavetraining.org/home.htm

I also highly recommend you visit the Ms focused events around the country. They are:
Southwest Leather Conference Jan
South Plains Leather Fest Feb
(South East Leather Fest is becoming more Ms focused) June
Master/slave Conference July
Great Lakes Leather Alliance Aug

There is also something forming in the northwest, but I don't know any information off the top of my head.

Also, look to see if there is a Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) Chapter near you. You can also look to see if there are any BDSM groups near you by going to google and searching for BDSM and the name of the nearest large city.

If you find this path to be spiritual at all, I highly recommend Butchmanns.

PS Be patient with people. You posted while it was quitting time on the East Coast. Things are not instant gratification.

Master Fire




SimplyMichael -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 4:15:29 PM)

There are a couple of ones in San francisco, Butchman's and Cleo's come to mind.  I think buying some of the better books, saving up and going to some big convention might be a better and more realistic.




Elorin -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 5:32:08 PM)

The Austin area has a mentoring program for dominants that lasts a year. You spend 3 months in "boot camp" as a class, then the next 9 months working one on one with 9 experienced dominants talking and learning about their specialities, 1 month per dom/topic. Some of the 1 month topics are fire play and rope bondage. Since you have an entire month to each mentor, you can explore other thoughts and ideas with that mentor while still learning about the subject at hand. The one month focus includes, I believe, at least 2 meetings with the mentor.

It's a good program.

Learning the tools of the trade like swinging a flogger, how to spank, dangerous areas of the body to strike, how to do fire play are things that can be picked up one at a time at BDSM conventions, seminars, or by meeting someone good at it and asking for lessons.

Learning things like psychology, how to motivate a submissive, negative versus positive reinforcement, punishment versus discipline, and other things that could possibly be lumped under "how to dominate versus top someone" are difficult to pick up in a class. These are the things that are very personal, and how you do each thing defines your personal style. You can, however, identify topics and then ask dominants you respect about their opinions of those topics, and use their feedback to formulate your own personal style.

~E




DominaSmartass -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 8:11:03 PM)

Um yeah, what they said. ;)




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 9:24:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There are a couple of ones in San francisco, Butchman's and Cleo's come to mind.  I think buying some of the better books, saving up and going to some big convention might be a better and more realistic.


Butchmanns is in Arizona...in Phoenix or Tucson depending on the level, basic or advanced. What program is Cleo's?

Master Fire




Archer -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 9:43:30 PM)

That would be Journeyman III that Cleo is involved in.





minnetar -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 9:47:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

Ok, I'm a Dom, and I've been training girls for about 4 years, but I never had any real training on my own.  I've mostly learned by trial and error, and by the wisdom of other Masters and Mistresses(and even a few subs.  a couple of them ones I was supposed to be training[;)]).  So here's what I want to know.  Is there somewhere that one can be formally trained as a Dom?  A school which would most likely teach minor psychology and wordplay, and the use of various tools?  I know there are schools for Subs run by Doms, but what about us Doms who don't want to be subs for one reason or another?


Sir have You considered trying to find a Mentor?

minnetar




Archer -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 10:02:53 PM)

One can certainly find training in various skills of sadism and dominance without being someone's submissive these days.
Schools? How about finding a Dominant who strikes a cord in you and apprentice with them for a little while.
I served as a jr dominant under a Mistress to learn some of the basics when I started out.
I learned how she viewed Dominance and submission, watched her techniques and all for the low low price of carrying her bag and being her "escort" for the evening to keep away the "wankers".
Not a bad trade at all.




proudsub -> RE: Formal Training (4/20/2007 10:50:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

wow...  I'm getting hits but no one is posting...  I guess not...


Dom 101--patience [:o]




Aslanemperor -> RE: Formal Training (4/21/2007 6:51:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds



quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

Ok, I'm a Dom, and I've been training girls for about 4 years, but I never had any real training on my own.  I've mostly learned by trial and error, and by the wisdom of other Masters and Mistresses(and even a few subs.  a couple of them ones I was supposed to be training[;)]).  So here's what I want to know.  Is there somewhere that one can be formally trained as a Dom?  A school which would most likely teach minor psychology and wordplay, and the use of various tools?  I know there are schools for Subs run by Doms, but what about us Doms who don't want to be subs for one reason or another?


curious...what have you been training those girls to do? what kind of training do you seek; i see wordplay/psychology in your post, but that works/doesn't work differently for each individual you encounter...what implements/tools are you talking about?


I will answer each question in turn:
"what have you been training those girls to do?":  Mostly sexual things and housework.  Things I know.  My training centers the most around obedience and trust training.  I believe that the two go hand in hand.  In order for a submissive to completely obey me, she must be sure I will not order her to do anything that will hurt her.
"what kind of training do you seek;":  I would like to learn the proper dynamics of knifeplay and various types of whips.  I understand that an ametuer in these two things can seriously injure his/her submissive if they don't know what their doing.  This is something I don't want to leave to chance.  Also, while wordplay and psycology are just mentioned in the post because I believe that any Dom should have at least a beginners knowlege of both.  More then a beginners knowlege for wordplay actually.  Being able to talk smoothly I've found is a big turn on for most girls.
"what implements/tools are you talking about?":  I mentioned whips and knifeplay.  Also, I recently saw a post on a bunch of different tools on another forum.  The post was a joke about a submissives christmas list, and I reallized I didn't recongnize about 75% of the list!  That, to be certain, is unnacceptable to me.  I can't remember the names of all the things, which is partly why I feel formal training would be nice...




Aslanemperor -> RE: Formal Training (4/21/2007 6:55:33 AM)

I must thank everyone!  You guys have been very helpful!  I had no idea that all these things existed, and the apprenticing with a Dom idea was even better.  I would have never thought of it on my own!  I will be looking into all the classes you mentioned!  Thanks!




MasterMagnus321 -> RE: Formal Training (4/21/2007 7:07:18 AM)

Aslanemperor:
I find it very helpful to keep a journal; I record my thoughts and opinions on various activities, their relative failure or success, reflections on other possibilities, and most importantly: I pay attention for opportunities for improvement.  Word play can be honed and sharpened in this way.  Through my journal, I have not learned what to say, but I have become more aware of the dynamics of different perspectives from which to approach things and the finer elements of timing.




mp072004 -> RE: Formal Training (4/21/2007 8:25:11 AM)

Lots of good associations and conferences mentioned already.

First, though, I'd suggest that you determine what you want to learn. Do you want to develop topping skills, like caning or rope bondage? If so, once you involve yourself in your local community, it's reasonably easy to find either organized classes or generous people to teach you. Do you want some instruction in psychological manipulation? If so, I'm not sure that looking for explicitly "BDSM" courses would be your best bet. Look for courses on public speaking and rhetoric, on developing a command presence, on psychology, on parenting.

You mention "knifeplay," "whips," and "wordplay." Knifeplay is easy--get a knife, and start experimenting with dragging it around your body. Think about visuals and themes that make knives exciting. It's just light sensation and mental play, and keep in mind where the sharp parts are. It's easier, I think, to cause injury chopping an onion than using a knife in sensation play. However, cutting is something you should learn from someone who knows--be it a BDSM player, a cutting artist, or a medical professional who cuts people for a living. Using a single-tailed whip is a bit more of a challenge, but there are enough people who are attracted to it, between the sport whip crackers, the historical reenactors, and the BDSM players, to make it reasonably easy for you to learn some throws. Then it's just a matter of practice and development. I'm not sure what you mean by "wordplay." For me, that word conjures an image of palindromes and anagrams, and while it can be fun to challenge a bottom to engage in that kind of wordplay while being distracted, I don't think that that's what you're getting at. Since you mention "being able to talk smoothly," I wonder if it's a rhetorical skill. If so, I would recommend Toastmasters, or basic acting classes. Even classical voice lessons would help, because you develop a close acquaintance with how you produce sound and syllables, but if you don't have any aptitude or interest in bel canto singing, you probably shouldn't go that route.

Monica




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