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Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 9:08:19 AM   
dsubmissiveman


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline



Hi,

I'm pretty new to domination, but am just wondering what the proper protocol is about seeing a professional.  Currently, I have booked an appointment with one professional and she has cancelled on 3 times.  Every time she tells me to call back in a few days to arrange for another time and then she always cancels- to her credit, she does give advance notice. 

What I am wondering is, if she does not want to see me, why doesn't she just tell me, rather have me re-book.  Besides the obvious explanation of she might just get busy, is there any other reason for this constant cancellation.  Any help from the professional dominants would be useful, because after all, I am willing to spend the money for the session.


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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 9:22:12 AM   
KaramelGoddess


Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not a Pro Domme - but as a professional in another field there are often reasons why I have to cancel appointments.  Things happen.  Illness, family, other job responsibilities, other clients calling to re-arrange times or other clients coming in late and throwing off the schedule, items not delivered on time, etc. etc.  Once My hair stylist called and said, "we have no power, sorry I can't do your hair today"... so there are all sorts of reasons why she may have cancelled.
Have patience, you will see her eventually.
 
~Kara

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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 9:32:28 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		no need for protocol... your paying for services rendered

would you make a dinner reservation, show up at the restaurant to eat dinner & have the waiter tell you... I'm sorry, the chef has to cancel your meal.... why not come back tomorrow & try again

Would you actually leave hungry & come back the following night?

Find someone else & book with them. Just don't pay in advance or you'll be back posting on how you got taken for the session fee.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/21/2007 9:34:25 AM >

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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 9:33:42 AM   
TheDiva


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
Status: offline 		I can see having to cancel an appointment, but three times is excessive IMO. If her schedule is so hectic that she can't be sure whether or not she can actually be available at the agreed upon time, it's just good business practice to defer it until another time, or perhaps make a referral. I wouldn't imagine that it's because she doesn't want to see you, but then again I have no way of knowing.

I think you're well within your rights to ask respectfully if she is sure she will be available if you call again to book the appointment. Do you request specific dates and times, or does she tell you what slots she has available?

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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 10:45:18 AM   
dsubmissiveman


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline



First of all, thanks for all of your input.  I appreciate the perspective that you all provide.

Just to provide more detail regarding the bookings, I normally give her two- three days notice eventhough she has told me that she requires 24 hrs notice.  While I don't request specific dates, I normally book for a evening session.  At the time, she says that the time should be fine, but usually 3-4 hrs before the session, she cancels and ask if we can book for another time.  Just from her website and phone conversation, she seems as though she is worth the wait, but the constant cancellation is quite frustrating.

In terms of any type of pre-payment arrangement, I do not pre-pay or provide a deposit.  She cancels and I save my money, so it is not like I'm getting taken for a ride either.  Although, you would think that as a pro-domina, she would be more appreciative of the business that I am willing to bring.

I mean it is one thing to get rejected by a lady, but to offer to pay a tribute and still have her cancel- it's quite perplexing.







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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 12:06:05 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dsubmissiveman





First of all, thanks for all of your input.  I appreciate the perspective that you all provide.

Just to provide more detail regarding the bookings, I normally give her two- three days notice eventhough she has told me that she requires 24 hrs notice.  While I don't request specific dates, I normally book for a evening session.  At the time, she says that the time should be fine, but usually 3-4 hrs before the session, she cancels and ask if we can book for another time.  Just from her website and phone conversation, she seems as though she is worth the wait, but the constant cancellation is quite frustrating.

In terms of any type of pre-payment arrangement, I do not pre-pay or provide a deposit.  She cancels and I save my money, so it is not like I'm getting taken for a ride either.  Although, you would think that as a pro-domina, she would be more appreciative of the business that I am willing to bring.

I mean it is one thing to get rejected by a lady, but to offer to pay a tribute and still have her cancel- it's quite perplexing.









If you are sure she's a bonafide dominatrix with a dungeon and regular clients and has a good reputation, I think you've either run into a string of odd, bad luck (I NEVER cancel any kind of appointment or am late for anything, and I just had to cancel three times in a row on my hairdresser; granted, at least I gave notice the day before).

The short notice makes me think that she has other clients that are regulars that are demanding her time and she wants to keep them happy.

Another thing comes to mind is that she might not session when she isn't in the mood.  The reason I knew I could never be a dominatrix for a living is that I cannot dominate a man if I don't have the energy and mindset, and if I'm really tired/satisfied from it already, or am really distracted, or am too tired, the LAST thing I want to do is try to fake it and muddle through with someone I don't know.  Even something as simple as "phone domination sessions" I would try to pinpoint dates for when I was doing it, but if the day rolled around and I wasn't in the mood, I'd post a notice on my web site "sorry, not in the mood, try another time!"  It's the reason I discouraged letting men prepay the call or set up a time by telling me he was on a business trip and could call me between 10 and 11pm on Friday -- I'd say to him, 'I have no idea if I will be in the MOOD on Friday, but I am in the mood right now!'.

Akasha


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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 12:11:30 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Exactly the reason I'm non pro.(Akasha's post, below.)

dssubmissiveman:  PROCEED WITH CAUTION :  This 'yes, let's meet' - 'no let's dont meet' dance is the A Number One Signal that a person is afflicted with STD's or worse.

Steer clear, go find another Pro Domme.

TexasMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
The reason I knew I could never be a dominatrix for a living is that I cannot dominate a man if I don't have the energy and mindset, and if I'm really tired/satisfied from it already, or am really distracted, or am too tired, the LAST thing I want to do is try to fake it and muddle through with someone I don't know.  Akasha


< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 4/21/2007 12:12:09 PM >

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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 12:51:14 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		I'm not a pro-domme, but three cancellations in a row sounds excessive to me, and I personally wouldn't do business with such a person.  There are several types of professionals with whom I do business--manicurists, hair stylists, chiropractors, accountants, etc., and if any of them pulled the three-cancellations in a row routine with me, I would consider it unprofessional and would take my business somewhere else. 
 
Occasionally, things have come up with some of the people who provide professional services to me, but it has only been a one-time thing, never three times in a row. 
 
I agree with the advice of steering clear of this one and finding another pro-domme.
 
Lady Topaz


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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 12:55:06 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		There is a protocol for negotiating with a professional dominant, and like others have said, it's much like booking time with another independent service provider, like a massage therapist. Repeated cancellations are quite unprofessional, but sometimes bad luck happens.

If this is someone who is well-established and has a good reputation, you could chalk it up to bad luck and try again. I'd suggest that you express your displeasure at the multiple cancellations if you go this route. Speak politely and firmly.

If this is someone who isn't established and who lacks a reputation, then I'd advise you to look elsewhere. It's more likely that such a person is not just having a run of bad luck, but is in the habit of acting unprofessionally. It's quite possible that she is cancelling appointments on whim, or because she's not in the mood--and like Akasha wrote, professional domination is not a career for people who absolutely must be in the right mood to dominate.

Monica

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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 1:46:10 PM   
dsubmissiveman


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline






Aakasha,

Thanks for the input.  It is possible that she may other clients.  I never thought about that possibility, as she may other priority clients who may be demanding.  Also, if she is not in the mood, it is quite admirable that she cancel.  I would rather have her fully invested in the session, rather than conducting the session half-heartedly just so she can earn the extra cash.

Thank-you for your perspective.

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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 1:59:04 PM   
dsubmissiveman


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		TexasMaam,




I had my suspicions after her 2nd cancellation although I never suspected an STD.  The first cancellation she said that "she was under the weather", which is something that happens.  Then the 2nd cancellation, she simply said that it was "personal emergency," and that it is when I got a bit suspicious.  However, all the conversations that we have had over the phone and our e-mail communication leads me to believe that she is put together and sane.  Then the 3rd cancellation, she said that she could not make arrangement for the dungeon space as it got booked by another lady (she rents space from a well establed dungeon).  I have communicated my frustration to her and she did apologize for the cancellations.  At this point, she asked if I would consider another time and I am wondering if it is still worthwhile.



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RE: Professional Dominatrixes and Protocols - 4/21/2007 2:18:36 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Honestly, I would call the dungeon where she rents space from to varify her excuse for the third cancellation - then I'd probably look for someone else to give my money too ... since she obviously doesn't want it all that bad.

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