RE: Weight Control

RE: Weight Control (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

Wildnfreehrt2004 -> RE: Weight Control (4/22/2007 2:49:26 PM)
I have heard this from Dominants before and when put this way, the emotional barriers go down a little: I want you to be in your best health so that you are around for the longest time possible. Now to make changes to please someone who says that - I have less resistance. In my work, I am familiar with two anti-diabetic medications that also have reports of weight loss associated instead of weight gain, and I know the makers are studying the drugs for possible treatment of obesity. Have him ask his physician about Symlin or Byetta to see if they would work in his situation. Wildy

PhDslave -> RE: Weight Control (4/22/2007 3:30:57 PM)
Dear Onyx Goddess, You are perfectly within your rights to set weight loss as a goal for him. Your desire for his well being is commendable.

MzMia -> RE: Weight Control (4/22/2007 7:50:23 PM)
Onyx I remember reading a Professional Dominants list of what she enjoyed doing, once. She had something she called "Forced Exercising" and it was just what she said, she would force her submissive to exercise! If you can force a submissive to do everything else, surely you can force him to watch what he eats and force him to exercise. I love the idea. Of course this won't fly for those among us that believe submission means only submitting to what you like! Seriously, I have seen Dom's that are able to influence weight and food intake with their femsubs, why is it any different with us? Does he only submit to acts that he likes? Hummmmm Good luck, let us know how things work out.

MistressNoName -> RE: Weight Control (4/24/2007 8:06:27 AM)
Just a side note - but does anyone beside me find it the least bit interesting that when a thread about weight control gets started that involves real and useful information and is conducted in a sensitive and compassionate way (as this one has been) that people tend to lose interest in them very quickly...but have a "fat thread" that's all about "fat-bashing," and overall insensitivity and the thread runs for 15+ pages? Has anyone else noticed that? MNN

addicted2it -> Re: Weight Control (4/24/2007 8:34:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressNoName Just a side note - but does anyone beside me find it the least bit interesting that when a thread about weight control gets started that involves real and useful information and is conducted in a sensitive and compassionate way (as this one has been) that people tend to lose interest in them very quickly...but have a "fat thread" that's all about "fat-bashing," and overall insensitivity and the thread runs for 15+ pages? Has anyone else noticed that? MNN Oh, yeah! But when I see a post like that, I generally just opt to ignore it, because nothing really beneficial can come from bashing people who are overweight or have a weight problem.

CdnExplorer -> RE: Weight Control (4/24/2007 8:37:09 AM)
That's the nature of the beast (the internet), go to any forum and an informative, level headed thread will get ignored. Anything that will rile up someone's emotions in the slightest will end up like a cartoon snowball rolling down a hill. There seem to be a lot of people that feed on drama [:)]

acquiesce93 -> RE: Weight Control (4/24/2007 11:38:47 PM)
Focus on getting him fit. Losing weight does not usually rid one of even seemingly weight-related issues. Fitness level and body function are key. Weight loss can sometimes be an added bonus. I'm a very fit, very active healthy fat girl. It's definately necessary to separate the two concepts if you want to both increase his health AND make him into a better sub without offending him or over-emotionalizing the situation for him. It's obviously not purely an aesthetic thing for you or you wouldn't have chosen him to serve. And it's honorable that you are keeping his health in mind.

OnyxGoddess -> RE: Weight Control (4/25/2007 2:56:51 PM)
Thank you all for your input. I don't care if he's thin. I want him healthy. As someone said I don't want to be sessioning with him and he die on me. Also, you cannot FORCE anyone to do anything they dont want to do. DOMINANT or other. It has to be his choice to hear what I'm saying and see it as concern for his health. Like a few male subs I've encountered (and stopped seeing) he only submits to the things he wants to. I'm not the domme for him and have told him so.

GuidingLite -> RE: Weight Control (4/26/2007 6:30:55 PM)
a submissive follows orders so tell him its an order.

sweetandniceboy -> RE: Weight Control (4/27/2007 5:56:43 PM)
as a submissive male, it would be so nice to have such a caring Domina as You that would be so concerned with the health of Her submissive male. in return for being so caring i would immediately enter into a strict training program and, if You wished, You could have absolute authority to monitor all aspects of my training and tracking of the results. it would be the only proper thing for me to do to show my gratitude for Your loving concern:)

DiannaVesta -> RE: Weight Control (4/28/2007 7:56:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OnyxGoddess As I said it's a HEALTH issue. He's got high blood pressure and diabetes. He was sick for almost a month and unable to do anything. I want my subs healthy for play and if they are unable to and unwilling to change something so they ARE able to then...I'm feeling what good are they to me? I keep myself fit and healthy and expect the same in those that serve/play with me. I"m not exactly model thin so it's hypocritical of me to expect it in others. He's given no explanation WHY he refuses. It's a quick change of the subject. You have every right to want a healthy slave. You have every right to be concern, especially if it’s someone you care about. Maybe he seemed miffed because he was embarrassed. I put ALL slaves on a special diet and exercise. That is a requirement. I decide what they eat and what they do. I also feel that he/she should be the best that they can be so they can be that for me. After all they are my property. Start sending him out to do yard work and more physical things for you. It will melt off and it’s good for me. Lol- trust me I keep them moving and my slaves are fit as a drum! I remember once, many moons ago a girl contacted me and came with a reference. I told her she could move in and then gave her a list of my requirements. One was that she stops smoking and change her diet. Do you know she changed her mind? I was floored but apparently she was insulted that I would ask her to stop smoking and get healthy.

mark6661313 -> RE: Weight Control (5/2/2009 10:29:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta quote: ORIGINAL: OnyxGoddess As I said it's a HEALTH issue. He's got high blood pressure and diabetes. He was sick for almost a month and unable to do anything. I want my subs healthy for play and if they are unable to and unwilling to change something so they ARE able to then...I'm feeling what good are they to me? I keep myself fit and healthy and expect the same in those that serve/play with me. I"m not exactly model thin so it's hypocritical of me to expect it in others. He's given no explanation WHY he refuses. It's a quick change of the subject. You have every right to want a healthy slave. You have every right to be concern, especially if it’s someone you care about. Maybe he seemed miffed because he was embarrassed. I put ALL slaves on a special diet and exercise. That is a requirement. I decide what they eat and what they do. I also feel that he/she should be the best that they can be so they can be that for me. After all they are my property. Start sending him out to do yard work and more physical things for you. It will melt off and it’s good for me. Lol- trust me I keep them moving and my slaves are fit as a drum! I remember once, many moons ago a girl contacted me and came with a reference. I told her she could move in and then gave her a list of my requirements. One was that she stops smoking and change her diet. Do you know she changed her mind? I was floored but apparently she was insulted that I would ask her to stop smoking and get healthy. this boy aggrees completely Ma'am. A slave does not have the right to use is Owners property (his body) for his own pleasure be it eating too much or being lazy. mark

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Weight Control (5/2/2009 11:05:37 PM)
First and formost ..you indicate you CARE about this due to his health.. He is not at his best FOR you with being unhealthy or *present to himself.* *Diabetes is insideous...if type 2...weight loss helps tremendouly..* *I lost 110 this year and my blood sugar is stabalizing..* *He may have deep issues around nurturing...fear of loss...etc but* *STILL HE IS ILL and only he can change...this* *I feel a good approach is from the "I cannot watch you harm yourself thru............/.................../.........................* and as well YOU ARE CORRECT/// A BDsM relationship or ANY relationship... that stands to deteriorate due to a CHOICE NOT TO GET WELL is precarious at best... BEST of luck..** GQ

SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: Weight Control (5/2/2009 11:29:29 PM)
Obviously this is a hot button to a lot of people as it hits more towards emotional than physical reasons in a lot of cases. It's got to be handled delicately, but if it's something that has really affected his health, then it's less of a D/s situation as it is an intervention. If you are close to his family and friends, it may be something that you involve them with. Who knows if that will help, but it's at least worth a try. My family has always been concerned about my weight, and brought it up a fair amount over the years, but for me it's not that big a deal. I'm very lucky in the fact that as big as I am, my stats are fine (bp, cholesterol, hdl/ldl etc) but would rather not get to the point where I'm 50 and having heart attacks fortnightly, so I'm hitting the gym over the summer. It sounds like your sub is in a much worse place than that, so you would hope that would work as a catalyst towards this. If it's something you can do along with him and/or create a dynamic in your relationship for it, hopefully that would help. The most important thing is for him to know that you are coming from a place of concern rather than anything else, work on that first and foremost, and then once you get him to buy into it, you can go about figuring out the best way of going about it.

LadyLou -> RE: Weight Control (5/3/2009 4:49:18 AM)
I haven't read all of the responses here, but can I ask how long you two have been together? I personally wouldn't drop someone I had become attached to... if he was perfect in every other respect. One 'flaw'? Really? When he has demonstrated that he is obedient and an all round good egg in every other respect? I hate stating the obvious, but subs are human beings. I see a lot of 'I might be a domme, but treat me as a human being first', but it works the other way round as well. I guess it really depends on how much emotional investment you have in this relationship, and whether you feel it is worth the effort. Weight loss and gain is a deeply emotional issue for a lot of people. Despite you stating you wish him to lose some mass for his health, he may be processing that in a knee-jerk reaction and thinking/feeling all kinds of things. If it's a touchy issue for him, it is going to take a lot more than a request from his dominant to loose weight. Or, he maybe he is perfectly happy about himself and his body (just as you are) but in denial about his size affecting his health – he might not see it as a problem like you do. I don't know much about diabetes; I understand that reducing his mass and eating healthily will reduce some of the risks associated with diabetic complications, but won't he still have diabetes regardless of weight loss? I can't tell you whether it is worth you ditching him over his health, and the stubborness on his part to acknowledge it. I get the feeling that you kind of already know what you want to do. What I will say is that finding the 'good ones' isn't that easy. This isn't something that is freely admitted in amongst us dom types, but 'real' relationships are about compromise to at least some level, regardless of the structure. You simply cannot bring two free thinking humans together into a unit, no matter how compatible they are, no matter how biddable one of the unit is, and expect perfect agreement and harmony all the time. If I liked him enough, and he had proven to be great in all other areas, I personally would compromise my 'black and white' stance on this issue to a certain extent and empathetically try to understand it from his point of view. I'd explain clearly what I'd expect from him, and why I expect that - then give him time, working with him, giving the emotional and physical support he needed. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

PeonForHer -> RE: Weight Control (5/3/2009 5:40:02 AM)
I hate stating the obvious, but subs are human beings. I see a lot of 'I might be a domme, but treat me as a human being first', but it works the other way round as well. Indeed. And (no pun intended) weight loss can be a very, very big issue to tackle.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Weight Control (5/3/2009 5:43:46 AM)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR old thread alert[:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(]

PeonForHer -> RE: Weight Control (5/3/2009 6:11:33 AM)
Oh dear - yet another one.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Weight Control (5/3/2009 6:18:09 AM)
I'm curious about why you took him on in the first place, without first discussing his fitness and health issue? Was he relatively healthy and uselful before and while you were considering him, and now having seen how sickly he is, would like him to make some changes? Weight is a sensitive issue, but no one can fault you for wanting a sub who is more useful to/for you. Personally, I would bring up an obvious issue before taking someone on... But not knowing how things progressed for you, cannot speak to your situation. M

gumshoe -> RE: Weight Control (5/3/2009 8:51:24 AM)
Bicycling is a great way of burning calories and so losing pounds. Walking burns calories sure, but can take up too many hours in the day to be effective. As for jogging, well a heavy-weight jogger might put a lot of undue strain on their legs. Bicycling is the best of both worlds, it can burn plenty of calories in a relatively short space of time without putting unacceptable strain on the legs. Through cycling I lost 30 lbs and my beer belly. Well recommended!

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125