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subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 12:03:31 PM

slavedesires

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i was reviewing some old emails today.

i was emailing with a "masochistic slave." Now granted i do not understand the mind frame of masochists, but she made a generalized strange leap in the difference between a sub and masochist.

She said:
"You want to know the real differene between a submissive and a masochist. There is a really simple answer. Love.

Submissive women want to love their masters. They want to give their "gift of submission" as a show of their love, and they strive to fulfill their master's every desire, etc. In exchange they get returned love. Well...sometimes anyway."

Any comments?

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 12:40:47 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Other than it's a normal false generalization?

Most interesting especially because some masochists are doms and some sadists are subs.

Masochism is about pain, submission is about authority.

Love can be anywhere or nowhere in between.

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 1:07:49 PM

perverseangelic

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That is among the weirder things I've heared. Masochism = pleasure from pain. Ain't got nothing to do with love, nor, indeed, power exchangem at all.

(excuse typos. sprained hand)

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 1:12:48 PM

ajewl

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It is her opinion...what is right for how she perceives life to be. Albeit a very generalized statement indeed.

**She said:
"You want to know the real differene between a submissive and a masochist. There is a really simple answer. Love."

Hmm, because she loves her dominant she is willing to subject herslef to pain. Did she clarify if she enjoys receiving or if she loves the pain? In my opinion, when I am the submissive...I do enjoy receiving some pain, that is only one avenue of expressing my submissiveness. I wouldn't be with One who doesn't enjoy the mutual gratification involved...through my submission I grant the authority to derive pleasure.

**The final statement......"In exchange they get returned love. Well...sometimes anyway."

Confusion or contradiction of terms? ...Sounds like she is hoping for the magical love spell to take effect. If she does enough of whatever someone else deems necessary to "prove" her devotion...in her submission then she gains the person's love interest. For some this method may work.

For this girl, it is always going to be about mutual interest, honesty, respect/trust...love and adoration will follow.

Have a happy journey. ajewl

*[my opinion was based on the information provided for this thread]*

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 1:52:54 PM

happypervert

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If you hadn't identified the source of that statement, I would have guessed it was from a submissive trying to stick her nose up in the air about how fulfilling her relationship was compared to the supposedly superficial relationships of the common pain slut.

So it is really interesting to hear it coming from the masochist; I'd guess she prefers emotional detachment for some reason. But that's what pops in my mind because I wonder what makes somebody say goofy stuff like that.

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 2:10:18 PM

Lordandmaster

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If that means masochists don't love, it can't be right. Maybe she means that masochists take pain because they are wired for it, and submissives take it because they think it will earn their master's love?

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

She said:
"You want to know the real differene between a submissive and a masochist. There is a really simple answer. Love.

Submissive women want to love their masters. They want to give their "gift of submission" as a show of their love, and they strive to fulfill their master's every desire, etc. In exchange they get returned love. Well...sometimes anyway."

Any comments?

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 4/28/2005 2:11:24 PM >

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 2:42:13 PM

ProtagonistLily

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Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

i was reviewing some old emails today.

i was emailing with a "masochistic slave." Now granted i do not understand the mind frame of masochists, but she made a generalized strange leap in the difference between a sub and masochist.

She said:
"You want to know the real differene between a submissive and a masochist. There is a really simple answer. Love.

Submissive women want to love their masters. They want to give their "gift of submission" as a show of their love, and they strive to fulfill their master's every desire, etc. In exchange they get returned love. Well...sometimes anyway."

Any comments?

Sounds like someone who's read too many on-line BDSM sites.

This is tripe, pure and simple. If 2 Dominants can fall in love and get married and have a life, why couldn't a masochist fall in love?

Lily

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 3:10:25 PM

slavedesires

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ok,

i understand that masochists receive pain because by it somehow they are sexually charged and need pain to reach a "spiritual" plateau. This is the only way i can explain it, in my understanding.

so then let me ask, are masochist slave different than masochistic subs?
And
are masochists more interested in fnding a Dom who will give to them rather than finding a SO who they can give to? (i guess this question is bound up in my own defintion of what i am to Him, which can be found in my journal)

or is this all falling under the same categry of how we define our own selves and subsequently look for the other to complete our needs?

and thus she may have, with her very long post to me, tried to make who she was superior to me becasue i am Master's slave, a submissive and NOT a masochist at all?

she also claims to have so much "experience" in this lifestyle as well; which i think personally doesnt amount to a hill of beans at times.

i am just trying to figure out what she really said to me. i know, i know i should ask her.
Actually, i am preparing a return email to her.

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"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 4:52:48 PM

happypervert

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quote:

so then let me ask, are masochist slave different than masochistic subs?

No, you can't ask that. there are a zillion "what's the difference between a sub and a slave" threads around here, and just add the word "masochist" wherever you want as you read to get the answer.

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 4/28/2005 5:01:59 PM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

quote:

so then let me ask, are masochist slave different than masochistic subs?

No, you can't ask that. there are a zillion "what's the difference between a sub and a slave" threads around here, and just add the word "masochist" wherever you want as you read to get the answer.

lmfao.....

ok ok ok ok LOL i retract my question !

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i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 5/15/2005 6:27:24 AM

ggonknees

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

That is among the weirder things I've heared. Masochism = pleasure from pain. Ain't got nothing to do with love, nor, indeed, power exchangem at all.

(excuse typos. sprained hand)

Totally agree. I am becoming a slave/and submissive, but hell am I not a Masochist. i accept my punishments, but i know that i can't be in a relationship involving brutal physical pain.

Hope hand is better.
gg

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 5/15/2005 6:28:59 AM

ggonknees

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

If that means masochists don't love, it can't be right. Maybe she means that masochists take pain because they are wired for it, and submissives take it because they think it will earn their master's love?

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

Agree again - at the end of the day, you how you love and that's that. there's no rules for it.
gg

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RE: subs/masochists & love - 5/15/2005 8:36:58 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

"You want to know the real differene between a submissive and a masochist. There is a really simple answer. Love.

Submissive women want to love their masters. They want to give their "gift of submission" as a show of their love, and they strive to fulfill their master's every desire, etc. In exchange they get returned love. Well...sometimes anyway."

I am a masochist and I can tell you that I have experience some of my most intensely sadistic scenes with Dominant/sadists that I had no emotional connection to. Although I knew them well and had the utmost respect for them, they were play situations only. So no....I don't think love has much to do with it. Yes, I am a masochist....but I am still a sub. It doesn't make me superior.

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