Is there a gender gap in BDSM?

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Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/22/2007 2:45:14 PM

cyberdude611

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Do you believe that the ratio of men and women interested in BDSM is equal or tipped one-sided?

It is difficult to judge online but when you go to bdsm events, do you notice more men or women or is it about equal?

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/22/2007 2:49:08 PM

grlneedstolearn

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Good afternoon,
For me it seems like it's more equal online but at parties/munches it seems more females. Or maybe that's just me

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/22/2007 3:21:19 PM

mp072004

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It seems about equal in pansexual events near me, but I go to women-only events too, so my circle of BDSM friends tends to include more women or otherwise female-bodied people than men.

Monica

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 4:42:26 AM

Focus50

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Every r/l event I've been to was maybe 2 thirds male in attendance. And 3 quarters of them are male sub.

To my eye, these Forums seem to favour female contributors - esp in Ask a Master.... lol Maybe most of the "real" masters on site are too busy writing geek mail to the ladies....

Focus.

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 4:47:11 AM

DiurnalVampire

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AS it is about everywhere else, the males looking tend to outnumber the females looking. In the interactions I have had, I have noticed far more submissive men than anything ese where I have been (be they clubs or munches or anything like that) but I dont know if thats an accurate representation of the overall involved population, or just the single ones.

Hope that makes sense... its still early in the morning

DV

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 8:14:31 AM

OedipusRexIt

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Let's say you're right and there's an imbalance of some sort that's noticeable and signficant.

So what? Does that imply something? What conclusion does it lead you to?

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 9:13:42 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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I think you'll see more women talking about "stuff" online and on forums and in the local scene, because it's more in our nature to do so than it is for guys (not all - just a generalization). Men (again, not all) are more worried that their friends might find out, and don't feel the need to "network" as much.

However - I think there's a lot more men overall who are into some level of BDSM overall.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 4/23/2007 9:15:33 AM >

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 9:41:19 AM

OedipusRexIt

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Your generalizations are fairly stated.

I would disagree about male tendencies to talk with other males, though. Certainly, I would doubt any lack would result from a desire to hide it from their friends.

Quite the opposite. All my life, I've been amazed at the need of some guys to share a blow by blow account of every moment of their sex lives, whether real or fantasy.

It's not just a locker room thing, either.

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 9:45:54 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

Your generalizations are fairly stated.

I would disagree about male tendencies to talk with other males, though. Certainly, I would doubt any lack would result from a desire to hide it from their friends.

Quite the opposite. All my life, I've been amazed at the need of some guys to share a blow by blow account of every moment of their sex lives, whether real or fantasy.

It's not just a locker room thing, either.

I understand what you're saying, and certainly for vanilla men I'd say that was true. However, the vast majority of male subs I've spoken to have been horrified of the thought of their friends finding out that they wanted to be dominated by a woman. Perhaps it's different for male doms?

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 4/23/2007 9:46:46 AM >

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 10:00:16 AM

OedipusRexIt

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I made one of my most frequent mistakes: I approached the question from my Dom point of view...

Of course, you're right, when it comes to male subs... It just never dawned on me.

Maybe I'll just shut up and listen. Couldn't hurt.

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/23/2007 10:10:50 AM

RythymMan

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Almost always more women than men out here.

Sometimes 3:2, sometimes 2:1, sometimes close to 50/50.

and of course the bottoms seem to always outnumber the tops.

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/24/2007 3:37:56 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RythymMan

Almost always more women than men out here.

Sometimes 3:2, sometimes 2:1, sometimes close to 50/50.

and of course the bottoms seem to always outnumber the tops.

Wowww...., all those submissive women in your neck of the woods!

Frankly, I'm one who believes in Nature's balance; that there exists a roughly equal number of complementing compatibles in role and sexual orientation. But since the r/l gatherings I've been to are predominantly male in attendance (and male sub at that), I can only surmise females are less likely to pursue r/l fulfillment of needs socially unpalatable to vanilla society - they are more discreet, shy or even unsure?

But back to your fem/sub haven.... Seems I should pack my bags as BDSM is a wasteland here but this "Washington"; I understand it's both a state and a city on opposite sides of your country? Please tell me you're writing from the one closer to Oz? ;-)

Focus.

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/24/2007 4:16:47 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: RythymMan

Almost always more women than men out here.

Sometimes 3:2, sometimes 2:1, sometimes close to 50/50.

and of course the bottoms seem to always outnumber the tops.

Wowww...., all those submissive women in your neck of the woods!

But back to your fem/sub haven.... Seems I should pack my bags as BDSM is a wasteland here but this "Washington"; I understand it's both a state and a city on opposite sides of your country? Please tell me you're writing from the one closer to Oz? ;-)

Focus.

Who said the women were submissive!!!

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/24/2007 4:38:11 AM

MstrssPassion

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Most of the events I attend these days are either women only or private play parties. The private parties tend to be evenly matched since it is an invite only group & mostly couples (or poly groups) come together.

A couple of years back when I attended a few different munches as well as public play parties the crowd was mostly fem sub & fem switch. There were also a large number of male doms so that worked well for them. There were very few male subs, single or otherwise.

Go figure....

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/24/2007 4:44:19 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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I think there's a whole thread somewhere about why single male subs don't go to munches. It's definately a rarity that they go, although I sometimes go to a femdom oriented munch and there's a better turn out there than the pansexual munches I've been to. Even then though - it's only a small percentage of the gents that are on the munch announcement list that will attend.

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/24/2007 4:51:49 AM

MariaB

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In the singles I always notice more male subs but in general there seems to be an even mix.
Many of the clubs allow Mistresses in on a concession or even free.
I have started to notice more single fem subs coming out to clubs on their own and I think that’s down to internet boards like this where they have chatted to people who they know will be attending and so feel safer.

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RE: Is there a gender gap in BDSM? - 4/24/2007 4:53:43 AM

wandersalone

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At the local munch that I attend semi-regularly I think that there are more females than males and female submissives make up the bigger percentage.

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