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RE: Head's not quite working - 4/24/2007 8:00:21 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

     Relax.  It's a brain fart.  No big deal.  Cut yourself some slack, drink something strong and watch a good comedy.  Try laughing before you let some counselor tell you how many years of therapy you need or letting them try some experimental (and ALL the brain-meds are experimental) drugs out on you.

   Just because something has always worked in the past doesn't mean it always will.  We humans are a strange species.  Sometimes we change.


Michael Shermer (www.skeptic.com) had an article about the SHAM (Self Help and Actualization Movement) scam.  It was an interesting article but he referenced something I had read elsewhere.  If you take a population who have some problem / illness / whatever, some percentage will spontaneously get better.  What humans tend to do when this happens is to ascribe whatever 12-step program, psychotropic medication, self help book or therapist they are seeing as being the reason they healed.

While this may be true, he made the point that it could be that the person just did various things.  Then the person spontaneously recovered without there being a direct connection.

As TheHeretic pointed out, people change.  Avoid being too hard on yourself.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to TheHeretic)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Head's not quite working - 4/24/2007 8:06:28 PM   
SadisticMan


Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline 		gringe and go on

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Head's not quite working - 4/24/2007 10:30:52 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I am going to try to keep this short so it will be easier to follow

I have a son who sounds very similar to you and what you are going through.  We have recently found he is ADD as well in the 98th percentile of IQ.

With a combination of therapist and med both for the ADD and a mild personality problem he is now feeling better.

He also slept poorly, ate poorly and hit the brick wall more often than not.  Was failing school and acting out with some very self destructive behaviour.  The difference has been like night and day.

As was said, seek out professional help for the ADD, the IQ and the life experiences.

Feel free to write me privately if you would like to type some more.

Just remember you are not alone and you are not the first or last person to feel what you are feeling

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Head's not quite working - 4/24/2007 10:53:47 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Appreciate it.  To everyone, really.

I'll try to respond more later.. finals coming up, and I'm a Chemical Engineer/Physics double major, so.. yeah.. busy-ish-ness.

I think the biggest problem, when I leave the state of denial, is lack of compansion.  When no one's on your level.. it's just.. so lonely.

Owned1, I get your son's self-destructive behavior.  Hell, I drove a car off a cliff a couple weeks back.  (Yeah, I'm fine.  The car's totalled, but oh well.  No, it wasn't a suicide attempt, I had a legitimate reason for driving off the cliff, but I have to admit, I felt complete and total disconcern for the fact it may kill me, even the moment before it happened.  I just.. didn't care.)

My mom saved my life.. so I can say it's very important.  In the OP, I mentioned I was begging for death after the stuff happened?  Before I was doing that, I was just going to gut myself with a watermellon knife and leave it at that.  My mom came downstairs and I talked her out of anything being wrong.  I had hid the knife behind me using the waist band of my pants.  When she gave me a hug goodnight, she found it.  She didn't let go, but dropped to her knees and cried for hours.
I'm often pretty upset about it.  I truly wish, most of the time, I had died that night.  Not so much anymore, but, certainly, back then.  Never did, because, well, I couldn't hurt her that much.  I couldn't do that to my mom.  That's, more or less, why I suffered so much but was unwilling to kill myself.
Funny how life goes.

I've sought out professionals for psych stuff in general and one for the IQ in specific.  The shrinks tried shoving pills down my throat, for both ADD, and, moreso, depression, while the IQ lady tested me and offered a report on my condition that has given me credibility in explaining myself to new academic institutes.

There is one thing I'd like to note, though.  Every so often, my eye catches on another with an intelligent look in their eyes.  That, for me, can be enough to get through a day.
I think people grow, largely based on how much time is spent thinking in constructive manners.  I think many people are hollow since this growth is, for them, not a constant thing but something of circumstance.
For me, I've spent twenty years with a restless, obsessive-compulsive mind at the "genius" level in a lifestyle where I haven't been forced to do many chores or much work and I've been given many, many resources of information and support.
I've grown a lot.  It can be lonely, not having many other people that have grown so much.  The true loneliness, though, is when others don't think to their extent, which is most of the time.  Sometimes, though, people open up.  Those are good times.  They're not so different then.

Go pre-Physics-final-exam-cram-session-the-morning-of jitters for a good rant!

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Head's not quite working - 4/24/2007 11:24:14 PM   
MissDiscipline


Posts: 117
Joined: 10/1/2006
From: Domme Beach Calif
Status: offline 		Sounds like you feel like your thoughts  are are feeling the tug of the gravitational pull of the black whole- But theoretically what is on the otherside- A worm hole- A conduit to another dimension in space-Wow that is rather deep- inside through and side ways- Wow - that just hurt my brain9 Dont listen to the low brows- Any way - so what about  the future of nuclear plants in the future- They are inevitable - Once they are up and running the Pacific Ring of Fire may take on a whole new meaning-lol- watch   Napoleon Dynomite  , Iron Monkey and a  whole lot of Benny Hill- Then you will have a lot of material -And maybe not- but relax  for a minute-  then try it.

(in reply to littleonyx)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Head's not quite working - 5/24/2007 5:09:25 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Part of the problem with being "gifted" is that they don't have to teach you the discipline and coping skills to make it through because you don't really hit the hard stuff.  When the really hard stuff finally hits...you've got to teach yourself the skills that everyone else had to build up over the years.

I first noticed it as a big problem when all the AP kids got to college with a full semesters worth of credits in their transcripts- and absolutely no real discipline or understanding of the college experience and really struggled their first year.


Really good point, LA. I worry a bit that telling elementary kids how gifted they are sets them up for huge problems later on.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Head's not quite working - 5/24/2007 5:31:45 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice
Really good point, LA. I worry a bit that telling elementary kids how gifted they are sets them up for huge problems later on.


the problem with this is that really bright kids already know they are different and not like their peers. their ability to perform quite well in school without having to learn to study, be disciplined, and prioritize aren't affected by labeling them as "gifted" because the schools don't specifically teach those kinds of skills to bright kids. they only offer them as remedial learning. most elementary kids pick those up through their daily learning. really bright kids don't.

as LA said, the problems come when these kids finally, at some point in their lives, come upon something that they don't already know how to figure out; they don't have the training skills they need and are then quite lost.

edited to add that there is a distiction to be made between high achievers and truly gifted/bright individuals.


< Message edited by girl4you2 -- 5/24/2007 5:33:35 PM >

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maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
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RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 1:30:28 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I sleep every two to four days.  It's been like this for the last several years.  One to two meals a day right now, typically one, but they're large meals, and that's just due to the busy schedule.


I totally get the food bits.

As for the sleep, I get that too, and I get the "fighting it" bits. You need to fix that, though. Read up on "sleep hygiene", and try that first. If that doesn't do the trick, try melatonin (if you're not on certain meds, ask your physician if unsure). If that doesn't do the trick, I've head insufflating it works better (at lower doses due to differences in bioavailability), but apparently hurts like hell. If that's out, or doesn't work, try getting a scrip for flunitrazepam (if it's available in your country; otherwise, try another benzo). If that doesn't do the trick, try meprobamate (Equanil; Miltown). Next on the list is either phenobarbital or secobarbital. If that doesn't work, try GHB (Xyrem; get the med, not something off the street). If that doesn't work, well, you're royally screwed, and need an MRI to start off with. Somewhere along this list, a sleep doc would be advisable, if you're having trouble implementing any of the sleep hygiene bits. Time off would also be a good idea; it gives you time to get into the rythm without worrying about other stuff.

quote:

A good cry does sound nice.  I don't think I've ever really cried before.  I'm not sure if I could.  As soon as I start thinking about things too much, I fend it off with logic.  If I don't allow myself to do that, I become violent.  I can't sense tears most of the time, though.


Seems familiar from when I was your age. It takes time to make room for emotions inside the rational framework, and to sync everything up. Just know that it's doable.

Something that helps me if I have trouble crying, is to use physical pain as a tool to get it out. Whipping myself, for instance. I don't need to go anywhere near what might cause me to cry from the pain itself, and I don't think I could go that far safely, but it still helps me trigger the response. I focus on the emotional pain, then allow the physical pain to create a sort of conduit to let it out.

Absent that, getting a punching bag, learning how to throw punches properly, and beating the crap out of the bag also works for me. If there's anyone in particular you are pissed off at, and you have the money for it, getting a Bob (Body Opponent Bag) and putting a picture on it may be satisfying.

quote:

PS-  Thanks, btw.  I was sort of expecting to get flamed by everyone who bothered to open this thing up.  Hell, I apprecaite just caring.  It's not like I'm the only person out there with problems, so not sure why anyone would bother with me spilling mine.


Don't worry about it. There's always someone ready to flame ad nauseam, but the trolls are easily filtered out, and they don't flame these kinds of post quite as often as the other ones.

FWIW, I care, and it brings back memories. Hope I can help in some way.

And who out there has problems isn't really an issue, at least not for me. The ones who open up will generally find me willing to listen and trying to help.

Please also consider the possibility that this may be a depression, and that if it is, it may not be viable to complete the year without the aid of some form of treatment. The presence of ADD would make this a fairly likely assumption. I have some suggestions in mind for that, if you'd like to go that way, but there's a guy whose name I have around here somewhere you'd better talk to instead; his story is much the same, and he collapsed entirely, until a special doc started treating him properly, after which he then completed one of the most prestigious psychiatry-studies in the US.

Either way, I'm confident that you'll be able to pull through.

P.S. Feel free to PM, if you feel like it.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 1:34:52 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

If it's any consolation, CuriousLord, I am aware of what a powerful, and often explosive combination being gifted, and also having ADD, or Dyslexia, can be for someone, regardless of any other factors which may have been in play for you at the Military Academy.

Not from personal experience, But - I've done a bit of volunteer work with gifted kids, and one thing I noticed, is that they can tend to be very perfectionistic, and sensitive. This is a good thing, I think, btw, more than it's not. Their individuality is to be respected, not reviled, IMO.


Where were you when I was growing up? ~hug~

Great post.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 1:54:05 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Anyway, let me clue you in a bit about my disorder. I can't understand speech unless it is well formed. Street people need interpreters to talk to me. Now get this, I almost have golden ears, I have very good speakers and am very picky about the audio quality of my stereo. I can hear the difference if my tweeters get heted up on a Friday night. As hard as it might be to understand for a tweeter, they start to sound 'muddy' to me.


Sounds like something that holds true for a lot of Aspies I know.

quote:

They say you got ADD, but you have no problem paying attention when you want to. This boils down to a matter of self control, and really, there is something else. See I am self educated.


ADD doesn't necessarily entail a problem paying attention per se. In that, it's a misnomer. In fact, many with ADD have the ability to hyperfocus, or attention tunneling as it is sometimes called. That's how I can put in 19 hours in a day when I'm working on something interesting, and not get a big crash afterwards.

quote:

There might not be a damnthing wrong with you.


I don't think anyone was saying there is.

Anyway, interesting post. The bit about the candle reminds me of a particular technique I have sometimes used for meditation.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 2:01:54 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

If you take a population who have some problem / illness / whatever, some percentage will spontaneously get better.  What humans tend to do when this happens is to ascribe whatever 12-step program, psychotropic medication, self help book or therapist they are seeing as being the reason they healed.


Yeah, that's why some of us are trying to force people to do more thoroughly controlled studies.

For instance, SSRIs have virtually no difference over placebo; thinking that "I'm getting drugs that will make everything better" and a bit of spontaneous remission gets almost the exact same results. And there's no dose-response correlation of significance.

That's why I generally prefer to suggest ones that have tested as significantly better than placebo, and have a clear dose-response relationship, such as the infamous MAOIs and the various multiple reuptake inhibitors (nomifensine comes to mind, though risky) and so forth.

And psychotherapy, with the exception of cognitive behavioural therapy (general) and dialectic behavioural therapy (borderline), is just an analogue of laying on hands. Only those two have been found effective against other methodologies in any rigorous setting, and the results were clear: everything else is equivalent to a good listener, no more.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 2:12:33 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I think the biggest problem, when I leave the state of denial, is lack of compansion.  When no one's on your level.. it's just.. so lonely.


There's usually someone on a similar level around. It only takes one, speaking from experience. Hard to spot, and harder to reach out, though.

quote:

Owned1, I get your son's self-destructive behavior.  Hell, I drove a car off a cliff a couple weeks back.  (Yeah, I'm fine.  The car's totalled, but oh well.  No, it wasn't a suicide attempt, I had a legitimate reason for driving off the cliff, but I have to admit, I felt complete and total disconcern for the fact it may kill me, even the moment before it happened.  I just.. didn't care.)


~nod~

It can take a fair bit of time to internalize other ways of coping with such things. In most cases, one will develop it eventually, though.

quote:

I'm often pretty upset about it.  I truly wish, most of the time, I had died that night.  Not so much anymore, but, certainly, back then.  Never did, because, well, I couldn't hurt her that much.  I couldn't do that to my mom.  That's, more or less, why I suffered so much but was unwilling to kill myself.


Again, seems familiar. I remember (at 13, though) starting to cut myself with a serrated blade, and then thinking "what will mom think?", and stopping. That's when I realized I had better do something about it. That, and thinking about it, considering that while it was a perfectly valid thought, the one that should have been first through my mind is "why am I doing this?". That spoke a volume or two. At the very least a few appendices.

quote:

The shrinks tried shoving pills down my throat, for both ADD, and, moreso, depression, while the IQ lady tested me and offered a report on my condition that has given me credibility in explaining myself to new academic institutes.


Perhaps not appropriate to ask, but I'll do so anyway, and hope you'll forgive me, but which ones? There's a lot of stuff that will mess you up further, judging from what you have described so far, and most of it is close to the top of the list of things they'll try.

quote:

There is one thing I'd like to note, though.  Every so often, my eye catches on another with an intelligent look in their eyes.  That, for me, can be enough to get through a day.


~nod~

Not intelligence I'm looking for, though. It's ... well, I don't know what you'd call it, but "awareness" or "being awake" might fit. It's correlated, I think, but not identical.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 2:16:02 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

Really good point, LA. I worry a bit that telling elementary kids how gifted they are sets them up for huge problems later on.


I'd pin it down to something else ... not giving them the same opportunity to grow as everyone else. Without a challenge appropriate to your level, you don't have the opportunity to grow, and so you don't get that learning experience. Eventually, you end up with a challenge that is up to spec on the intellectual level, but way beyond you on the parts you didn't have a chance to grow into.

It's not telling them they're gifted that's the problem. That part doesn't make much of a difference either way, unless the parents make a big deal out of it. Usually, though, the people I know who were told, were already hard on themselves, and didn't change in this regard form being told they were gifted.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 3:08:31 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I dont know a thing... but it seems to me you've set your own bar quite high reguarless of what your capable of.  Others expectations of you may have caused you too keep it raised, right now you need a break.  Pushing yourself over and over again is draining, I feel your on overload.

I agree with the others.  You need to speak with a professional. 
But I also feel you need to accept yourself a bit better.  We dont always have to reach for that Brass Ring sometimes what we need is to chill. 

My best to you...........




_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to littleonyx)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 7:16:18 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		One thing you don't mention is when you were tested and by what kind of professional.

Brain chemistry problems in pediatric and adolescents show totally different symptoms than when they first manifest in adulthood. What this means is that the diagnosis should be made by a board certified adolescent psychiatrist or neurologist. It also means that the cognitive behavior therapist should also be trained specifically in pediatric and/or adolescent needs.

Doing otherwise is just a crap shoot. Now the bad news, there are damn few of these specialists around, you may have to travel to find one. It's worth missing a day of school monthly to get all the tests done by specialists in adolescent disorders. In the meantime, go talk to the school physicians and ask them to locate the nearest specialists and set you up with an appointment.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 9:45:22 AM   
philosophy


Posts: 5284
Joined: 2/15/2004
Status: offline 		<fast reply>

...sounds to me like a sabbatical ould be a good idea. Go somewhere else, dig a ditch, get some exercise of the body and let the mind just settle.

(in reply to littleonyx)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 9:57:02 AM   
LightHeartedMaam


Posts: 296
Joined: 5/12/2007
Status: offline 		This is what I see:

Everyone else has set standards for you.  You are having performance anxiety.  So many people not to disappoint.
Then you have your IQ in writing staring you in the face saying "there is NO excuse for you not to be able to do this".  IQ, like age, is just a number.  It's how you do with it that matters.

Is the path you are on YOUR path or the one that someone told you you should do?

_____________________________

Now that I'm older, I thought it was great that it seems I have more patience. Turns out, that I just don't give a sh*t.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/4/2007 11:05:19 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		You need to be more organized. This is the key to success in education. Having to write papers at the last minute, and needing to cram for tests, is a huge warning sign.
 
A few quick points:
 
The biggest key is working ahead. By the time class starts in the fall, you should have digested the course material for all your classes, and have a computerized outline for taking notes. Start early. You know what your required courses will be, so even if you don't get one this semester, the pre-work will pay off the next.
 
Record all your notes as quickly as you can. I use a tape recorder. It's great because I can maximize my time. Don't waste any ... NONE at all. If you hit a traffic light on my way home from class, you get three or four free minutes of recording time. Listening to your notes is far more effective than reading them, because you are using senses that are not already bombarded with other reading. I have a commute of about an hour ... I pretty much have all my notes fully digested before I get to class or home.
 
When you have an assignment, do an outline immediately, and create a rough draft as soon as you can. If you get to know your profs., as people, they will often let you turn in your rough draft for critique. This won't always work ... some are just not interrested, but the ones that are willing, will greatly reduce your final writing time.
 
You have to compete. "Doing your best" is for losers. Your singular goal ... be the best, period. Get in this mindset. It will drive you through the dulldrums.
 
Be critical. If you are cramming or crushed with deadlines, you have an organizational problem that needs to be fixed before the next semester.
 
Some pretty basic things ... perhaps it will help.

(in reply to LightHeartedMaam)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Head's not quite working - 6/6/2007 12:09:08 AM   
SlpBeauty333


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Curious Lord,

You've already gotten a lot of wise advice from the posters above.  I hope your semester ended well and you're enjoying a restful summer.  I work mainly with Engineering majors in my classes and they are usually little balls of stress because the schedule for any engineering discipline is so packed.  Listen to those people up there about the mental heath services and stick with it until you find one who you can work with. 

++++++++++++++
A total hijack follows:
There's just one tiny thing I couldn't let go of even though I tried and tried and tried.  I slept on it and sat on my hands and I still can't STFU about it and it's this:
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord
On visits to various highschools, one of the professors offered to teach me through Ring Theory by the time I was about 17 (that's the totality of Math). 


I don't know who told you Ring Theory is the totality of Math but they were really, really wrong.  Ring Theory is one topic covered in Abstract Algebra, part 1 at the undergraduate level.  Abstract Algebra is one of the first higher level courses you would take as a Math major and it is the beginning of one of the branches of Mathematics.  Remember those questions on the SAT's that asked "what would operation * do to this table?"  They were testing your aptitude for this type of  material.   

Sorry to intrude on a sensitive thread but I had to get that out. 

_____________________________

The only real competition in this life is between the person you are now and the person you could become.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 39
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