Non-consentual Opinion Play (Full Version)

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Emmmrld -> Non-consentual Opinion Play (4/28/2005 9:35:46 PM)

So today I get this message from my messanger that someone wants to add me to their list. So I look and see that it's someone who has posted on here. So I accept and allow them to add me.

I send a quick message that says Hi. That's it.

WOW! This person decided that they wanted to discuss something I had posted on the forums here further in private. They didn't like an opinion I expressed about a particular group of people (that thread has been removed). So person was going to enlighten me with their experiences.

This person went on and on and on and on. Not giving ample opportunity to respond, wouldn't listen to a word said, and was not truely interested in having an intellectual conversation. Just kept stating their opinion over and over again. When I wouldn't post back that "oh I've changed my mind, of course you are right" they would just post it over and over again.

I had to leave for personal obligations and said I didn't have time to engage in that and left.

WOW! I get this message stating that it was rude of me to log off in the middle of the conversation and that this person would have no further contact with me.

I sent a reply back to this person.

What do you know they are on line and on invisible and of corse respond. What happened to no further contact? *scratches head*

Then this person started in again on their point of view and how wrong I am for having my opinion because the people they know are not like that. Clearly taking what I've said very personal. I must laugh here and at this person because this is just to halarous to me.

It's been my experience that the only time a person takes a general statement personal is when they are having feelings of guilt or know they are like what that person is claiming.

While posting on a forum like this, I expect to have persons post a difference of opinion, but to hunt you down on an instant messanging service to cram their opinion down your throat? *thinks to myself Um ok what planet did you drop off of?*

I wonder if this person is aware that everyone has an opinion, and is entitled to them. As my brother says "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has them and they all stink". LOL this person has a right to their opinion, and I'm glad they have a contrary one to mine - it's what makes the world fun. But it would have been a lot funner had this person been a little more personable and more into communication than shouting out their viewpoint from a soap box.

I got to a point where the Charlie Brown voice started happening when this person would post so I just called it a night and logged off. Life is too short and thank god I don't pay for band width for something like that!

So now I have some questions to those out there in forum land ...

Do you find it ill mannered to have someone hunt you down on an instant messanger service to only bombard you with their opinions, and not be courteous enough to shut up and listen?

People who are adament about their opinion, are lacking in the ability to effectively communicate because they are too busy trying to make a point, rather than communcate and listen?

Is it better to keep your opinions for boards like this or to take it private?

When posting on a forum, you can collect your thoughts and put down everything you are thinking. Do you find that persons who frequent forums like this, are a bit weak in the conversational department (be it in person, on the phone, or in an IM) because they are trying to get all of their opinion out to you at once?


Looking forward to your responses!

Emerald




onceburned -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (4/28/2005 10:03:31 PM)

I expect this thread will be moved to the Lounge or maybe Off-Topic Discussion. But I certainly understand why you would feel frustrated what happened.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emmmrld

Do you find it ill mannered to have someone hunt you down on an instant messanger service to only bombard you with their opinions, and not be courteous enough to shut up and listen?


It sounds to me like a person whose emotions have gotten away from them. Maybe they will come down by tomorrow.

quote:

People who are adament about their opinion, are lacking in the ability to effectively communicate because they are too busy trying to make a point, rather than communcate and listen?


It depends on their attitude. IF they approach you with respect for you as a person and respect for the reasons underpinning your opinions, then it is possible for an intelligent or fruitful discussion

quote:

Is it better to keep your opinions for boards like this or to take it private?


I think it depends. If the topic was removed from the board perhaps it is best not to discuss it here.

quote:

When posting on a forum, you can collect your thoughts and put down everything you are thinking. Do you find that persons who frequent forums like this, are a bit weak in the conversational department (be it in person, on the phone, or in an IM) because they are trying to get all of their opinion out to you at once?


hmmm... I can see merit in this view. But personally I just type whatever crosses my mind without a lot of forethought or preparation. I think electronic communication, in general, does not foster effective communication when people disagree.

Facial expressions, body language, intonation, silences.... all these are important parts of human communication which are missing online.



Guest -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (4/28/2005 10:20:26 PM)

Generally, I would say you were trolled, and very successfully too! You have gotten involved in a conversation with someone that you could have stopped after two exchanges, you post about it, give them more and more recognition and space in your head.

If discussions stay civil, they should stay out on the boards. If the only reason that someone is going to pm is to push your buttons, then you are under no obligation to keep the conversation going.



stormsfate -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (4/29/2005 10:48:07 AM)

Uhm...putting them on ignore is a good solution. I love having discussions regarding posts...particularly with people who disagree with me. I'm not so set in my ways that I can't change my mind if I'm shown a reason to...lol.

f



Emmmrld -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (4/29/2005 11:12:26 AM)

Oh I'm open minded enough and do enjoy hearing another perspective on things. I often change my opinion.

But I think there is a difference between chatting / talking and approaching someone with "You are WRONG and this IS the opinion you will have".

Approach is everything. This particular persons approach was confrontational and like they were craming it down my throat. I'm not a big fan of that method. I don't know many people who are.

*smile*



darkinshadows -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (4/29/2005 11:23:43 AM)

Someone brings a discussion to a forum.
You have the choice whether or not to respond.

If, as some posts become, they become a flame war, I would rather not get involved, even though people will always try.

I agree that people take offense more to subjects or feel it is more personal an attack when they are uncomfortable with the question at hand.

I love having discussions with people especially when I do not agree with them. It allows me to learn more about something I may not have even considered. But when it gets personal as in a 'you said this'... or 'are you accusing me then?'... it is always best to just stand by your convictions and refuse to submit to any power they might think they have over you.

Peace and Love



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (4/29/2005 12:50:19 PM)

It's rude for someone to continue calling you on the phone and just yakking away and all.

As far as "not getting a word in edgewise" this is cyber...you can't keep people from typing if they want.

But there's this handy little feature called block and ignore. If you find a conversation distasteful and want to end it....do so. You can't control others, you can only control your own reactions to others.



sanita -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (5/1/2005 8:19:59 PM)


quote:

This particular persons approach was confrontational and like they were craming it down my throat. I'm not a big fan of that method. I don't know many people who are.

*smile*


oh! yes please!

whoof, sorry, my mind is in the gutter, i just finished reading the latest additions to the throatfucking thread in Ask a Submissive/Slave.

but as for the intent of your original post, i agree. that that was a rude person.

when people wish to witness to me, and start with telling me i am going to hell for not believing what they do, it is not an enjoyable exchange. but hey, i politely shut the door. sometimes, i am temped to open it again naked, with nipples clamped, but i don't. that'd cause more of a ruckus.

and i know you wanted to get your word in edgewise, but sometimes that will just prompt more deluge. i would say "ignore"



ScooterTrash -> RE: Non-consentual Opinion Play (5/2/2005 6:46:20 PM)

I have to agree with dark angel
quote:

Someone brings a discussion to a forum.
You have the choice whether or not to respond.

This is great actually, this is the proper way to get it out and get others involved.
quote:

I agree that people take offense more to subjects or feel it is more personal an attack when they are uncomfortable with the question at hand.

Sure controversial and uncomfortable issues bring about more public opinions..isn't that the point, this is how we learn. I as well enjoy a good debate, but I do think they need to be out in the open, where many more opinions can be brought to the surface and it can be enlightening. But to have someone hunt you down just to blast you with their opinion is so totally wrong, that's not debating, that's trying to force an opinion on someone else. I have to agree with whoever posted about the ignore button..I do think that would have been proper and well deserved, a virtual fire extinguisher to put out that flamer...lol.




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