For the Dom/mes

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Kitte9 -> For the Dom/mes (4/22/2007 8:02:43 PM)
What do you look for / expect in a submissive?

MasterFireMaam -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/22/2007 8:12:34 PM)
This is a VERY open ended question. I expect many things. Can you narrow it down some? Master Fire

Focus50 -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 4:30:54 AM)
*Compatibility, availability, do I even like her as a person etc - which either does or does not* *equate to greater mutual connection....* *Any eager sub can obey commands - commendable but will never sustain me longterm.* *Focus.*

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 6:01:13 AM)
well i can tell you what Daddy saw in me - He saw a successful, strong, independent, inltelligent, classy, strong-willed, stubborn, motivated, aggressive, talented writer and unique woman as His daughter-submissive. what makes our relationship work - our friendship, compatiablity and common interests in nilla and BDSM.

mstrjx -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 6:58:35 AM)
An obtuse question such as this deserves an offbeat response. Read between the lines, kiddies! I 'expect' far less than what I 'look for'. There are lots of ways that I can be impressed or delighted. But in reality over the years the people who I have been involved with have not approached those standards. Rather than wait for something 'closer' to that ideal, I accepted what came my way and lived with my choices. Eventually, I came to realize that although my partners were far different, there were some similarities that were all-too similar, to the extent that my expectations were lowered to a level that fit them. After all, if all of these people all turned out to be archetypes of the same person, everyone must be like that, right? No. What I have come to realize is that I really want the pleasant surprise. And I don't need to see them all upfront. I would like to be able to see something new every once in a while that makes me validate those high-ish ideals that I 'look for'. Jeff

Kitte9 -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 7:48:32 AM)
Do you look for someone who is familiar in their role and passively accepts your descisions, or do like someone with a bit of fire, who might tug at their collar, so to speak. Someone who brings out the Dom/me in you. I know I want to sum for someone, but I don't think I want to make it easy. I want someone strong enough to show me, no someone who just says 'do this' and expects me to obey. Is that wrong or a turn-off for you?

MistressMelissa -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 7:56:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kitte9 What do you look for / expect in a submissive? I expect honesty, loyalty and obedience. I can teach the rest. One last thing, the ability to step away from the computer and actually live as they claim. It's one thing to dream and fantasize, it's another to actually live it.

MistressMelissa -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 8:16:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kitte9 Do you look for someone who is familiar in their role and passively accepts your descisions, or do like someone with a bit of fire, who might tug at their collar, so to speak. Someone who brings out the Dom/me in you. I know I want to sum for someone, but I don't think I want to make it easy. I want someone strong enough to show me, no someone who just says 'do this' and expects me to obey. Is that wrong or a turn-off for you? There is a fine line between knowing ones place and being a brat. I have no use for a brat, SAM or any other creature. While I don't expect them to roll over and play dead, I do expect some human emotion and understand some requests are harder to accept than others. I enjoy watching the internal strugle but at the same time that should be reserved for the difficult choices, not everyday life. You want a leader, not a dictator and that's natural. There are those individuals who veiw this lifestyle as their excuse for being an ass. An attitude of "I'm not an ass, I'm a Master!"which is the sad side of our reality.

mstrjx -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 8:29:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kitte9 I know I want to sub for someone, but I don't think I want to make it easy. I want someone strong enough to show me, not someone who just says 'do this' and expects me to obey. What you are saying, but don't know it at this point, is that you want someone who is so compelling that whatever the 'do this' is, you find yourself making it easy even if you didn't necessarily intend on it being that way. There's a saying in life - Nothing's 'impossible', it's just that some things take a little longer. I believe the same can be said of submissives/slaves. In the end, they want to submit. The key is to find something in yourself (the dominant perspective) that brings about that submissive side in the 'stronger' subs/slaves. The right attitude, right phrase, right 'action', something that finally flips the switch in that person, so to speak. A little cleverness, a little ingenuity, a little patience, if the pairing is right, whatever needs to be found WILL be found. Jeff

Kitte9 -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 9:15:50 AM)
Please excuse my ignorance, but what is a SAM?

MistressMelissa -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 9:35:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kitte9 Please excuse my ignorance, but what is a SAM? SAM stands for Smart Ass Masochist These are masochist that will try and bate tops into playing with them by being a smart ass. The belief is if they can upset and or challenge the top sufficiently the top will have to play with them to prove them wrong. Thus it's a from of topping from the bottom. Here is an article on the subjects of SAM's http://lauragoodwin.org/sam.htm

WhiplashSmile -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 9:40:42 AM)
First and foremost, I want to know them as a human being. If they are trying to act out a role of being the Ultimate submissive, it tends to discourage me. I expect honesty and open communication. I look for how well their actions match their own words as well. In general many of the same things I look for in my friendships and other kinds of relationships. Because this is a deeper kind of relationship, I look for chemistry, attraction and things like that. Another aspect I look for is how deep and honest her and I can go with each other. Meaning how much of our trueselves we get out on the table with one another. How well she deals with me and how well I deal with her.. in short acceptance of each other for who and what we are deep down inside.. Call it Deep level honesty and exploration with one another.

MiladyElaine -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 10:01:41 AM)
I look for obedience, honesty and loyalty. If they have none of these or they are found wanting, they get dumped before even meeting. I like someone who's a little familiar with their role, but not so familiar that any difference in the way I want to do things is considered "fake"! I appreciate a passive attitude and unlike mstrjx, I do NOT like surprises!

RavenMuse -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 10:11:09 AM)
First... the spark of Dynamic between us that draws her submission to Me and draws My to want to reach out and possess her. Second... that she has a driving need to please and once that spark kicks in, that the need to please isn't 'everyone' but turning to be a need to please ME Third, do I get the feeling I can trust this girl? Do I believe she is Honest? Then her intelect, strength of character, personality, social and communication skills.... do I like who she is as a person? Then comes wether she is physicaly pleasing

KnightofMists -> RE: For the Dom/mes (4/23/2007 3:36:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kitte9 What do you look for / expect in a submissive? Many things... I expect... Obedience I look for behaviors that demonstrate this expectation

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