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LadyPact -> RE: Do submissives only submit to what they like and what is fun? (4/22/2007 8:54:30 PM)
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I may be knocked out of the running on this particular issue, as My main relationship focus is with My husband, rather than any submissive that I would take. Hopefully, My input will still have some relevance.
I believe that, in the beginning of any dynamic, there is a feeling out period. I am not saying this is a bad thing, but a sense of testing boundries. From My experience, this is the time where a submissive is more likely than not to enforce their safeword, to ensure that it will be respected, and maybe a bit of pushing on the Dom/Domme's part to see what kind of authority They have. A bit childish, perhaps, but it's been known to happen.
Like You, Mia, I seek control. In that premise, comes the idea of integrity. I was always taught that integrity is the character of one, no matter who else is looking. I use this general guideline with My submissives, to gage their behavior. What they do when they don't believe I am watching will usually tell Me what I can expect.
A good example of this is an old exercise that I have been known to give a submissive of Mine. The situation goes something like this....... He was granted permission to attend a get together of some like minded people out of the area. Before leaving, he was given instructions to greet others "from his Mistress" who I would like to have wished well in My absence. At the function, he did not know who I would know (or on what level) or who wouldn't have any idea I existed. After the party, I checked on the results to ensure he had sent My greetings. I got back reports of the wording and mannerisms of what happened at the event. It gives Me a hint as to how thoroughly one will follow instruction when I am not there.
I hope this applies to your question...... As always, best wishes to you.
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