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Suleiman -> RE: The language of submission (4/24/2007 10:39:36 AM)
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I speak softly. Normally, my voice projects. I've never been very good at modulating it. I'm one of those people who seems to constantly be yelling. When I'm seriously acting in the submissive role, I keep my voice soft. If no one can hear me over the noise or some other conversation, I wait patiently for them to stop before trying again. Body language is a problem for me, too. Once again, my natural, neutral facial expression is apparantly incredibly hostile. I picked up the nickname "mad dog" in three different schools in three different states because of the sour look on my face. That dark glower I have in my profile photo isn't some attempt to look domly - that's just how I look. I've never been able to overcome that one, so mostly I just look at my feet, or their feet, or otherwise find something on the floor to focus on. I try to keep my body relaxed so that I don't give off a threatening vibe. That usually means I have to do about thirty minutes of yoga and meditation before company arrives.
To be honest, doing that sort of thing makes me incredibly depressed. Like most folks, I want to be accepted for who I am, and it feels to me that, in order to be accepted, I have to lie, to put on a false face. I have to mimic other people's body language, and spend time in front of a mirror practicing how to smile, how to use my cheeks, my eyebrows, my eyes, so that I don't seem threatening. It's not that I want to threaten people with a look, it's just that I get really screwed up inside my own head if I have to masquerade in front of people who are supposed to be the center of my world. Dominance is much easier. I just behave politely, and the glower puts an edge to my interaction that makes folks want to do as I say. It's also a hell of a lot less depressing.
Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out. For some folks, it just takes more work than others.
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