RE: The language of submission

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RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 10:39:36 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
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I speak softly. Normally, my voice projects. I've never been very good at modulating it. I'm one of those people who seems to constantly be yelling. When I'm seriously acting in the submissive role, I keep my voice soft. If no one can hear me over the noise or some other conversation, I wait patiently for them to stop before trying again. Body language is a problem for me, too. Once again, my natural, neutral facial expression is apparantly incredibly hostile. I picked up the nickname "mad dog" in three different schools in three different states because of the sour look on my face. That dark glower I have in my profile photo isn't some attempt to look domly - that's just how I look. I've never been able to overcome that one, so mostly I just look at my feet, or their feet, or otherwise find something on the floor to focus on. I try to keep my body relaxed so that I don't give off a threatening vibe. That usually means I have to do about thirty minutes of yoga and meditation before company arrives.

To be honest, doing that sort of thing makes me incredibly depressed. Like most folks, I want to be accepted for who I am, and it feels to me that, in order to be accepted, I have to lie, to put on a false face. I have to mimic other people's body language, and spend time in front of a mirror practicing how to smile, how to use my cheeks, my eyebrows, my eyes, so that I don't seem threatening. It's not that I want to threaten people with a look, it's just that I get really screwed up inside my own head if I have to masquerade in front of people who are supposed to be the center of my world. Dominance is much easier. I just behave politely, and the glower puts an edge to my interaction that makes folks want to do as I say. It's also a hell of a lot less depressing.

Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out. For some folks, it just takes more work than others.

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to RosaAzul)

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RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 12:33:52 PM

sunfleur

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

if your Master/Mistress isnt complaining, then why would you think you're 'doing it wrong'?
personally, as i come to know someone better, i tend to drop the "Sir's" in every sentence, unless it's required of me to use the term. one can show respect and submissiveness by simply be polite, putting the Other first, and.. something i have found to irritate all Dominants... dont interupt when they're speaking. Often times i find that being a good listener is better than being a good speaker.

sunfleur

(in reply to RosaAzul)

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Post #: 22

RE: The language of submission - 4/24/2007 6:17:06 PM

MansizeDOM

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline

Hello Rosa

You raise a good question.. Reading the profiles I noticed a number of submissive women express the desires regarding what they want in definite assertive terms.. It is a subs right to find her or his dom of choice.. however an assertive expression and strong language only means that the person has no real desire to become submissive or that their training and education into the lifestyle behavior did not have the quality necessary for the sub to internalize the the concepts of submission... Also important is the sub must have respect for the Dom and the Dom must have likewise respect for the subs ability to submit.. Being a Dom is a big responsibility .. however being a true sub requires a special strength and realization to submit first to your own submissive desires.. unless you can submit to the desires of submission in yourself, it is to submit to desires outside of yourself..

(in reply to RosaAzul)

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RE: The language of submission - 4/29/2007 11:53:36 AM

Kitte9

Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

I can't imagine doing it any other way than a step at a time. We are all individuals, just like everyone else. *s* We learn individually. It will happen for you when it is time and not a moment before. If your Master, Dom/me is not willing to take the time, you were not meant to be. Just my view.

< Message edited by Kitte9 -- 4/29/2007 11:54:28 AM >

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Post #: 24