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My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 1:08:14 PM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice...
I gave my Master a gift which made him extremely happy, a set of woodworking tools and machinery. He was so excited that he couldn't sit down! This is good, right. I'm overjoyed in seeing his pleasure and feeling clever at having gotten something he loved so much.

Here's the thing: since he got it, he hasn't stopped doing anything but woodworking. He hasn't needed me for anything, and he's hardly even spoken to the kids or me. Even the dog is mad at him and sulking because he won't play with it anymore! All human contact with Master has almost ceased, and I'm starting feel a bit funny... almost, jealous of the tools?! It's not that I have no way to keep busy and do things without him, but... those who know what I mean... what shall I do? I'd hate to mess it up by whining just when he's the happiest. But I'm feeling sort of neglected, and so is the family.
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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 1:11:39 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You should make a paper airplane and fly it past him so he reads it.

Seriously- the person to talk to is him.  How long has he had it?  If it's anything less than a week, I say suck it up and just be amused as his enjoying the new toys.

Over a week?  Time to talk and say "OK I love that you love your new toy, but life is moving on here and we need you back on the floor as a manager."  Even just a half hour at dinner every night would be more than reasonable.

And in time it should become just another hobby to enjoy on a regular basis.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/23/2007 1:12:26 PM >

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 1:29:54 PM   
MstrStoney


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		 The only thing you can do is talk with Him , or go out and join him and make him know you are there and you want him in all the ways he sees in you ..Note: if that does not work ,Stickit in his face with a very special smell . Evil grin .
 
 
 
 
MstrStoney

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 1:36:03 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Ahhhhhhhhhhh, he's honeymooning with the woodworking stuff. It's like a new car - it'll wear off after a little while and things will be back to normal.

Or

You could take a lesson from The Secretary and do something to his beloved woodworking stuff. Intentionally. And sit back and wait.

And brace yourself.

~chuckle~

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 3:07:26 PM   
selfbnd411


Posts: 598
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		Why fight it?  Let him learn and before you know it, you'll have a whole dungeon full of custom built furniture 

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 3:34:42 PM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice...
I gave my Master a gift which made him extremely happy, a set of woodworking tools and machinery. He was so excited that he couldn't sit down! This is good, right. I'm overjoyed in seeing his pleasure and feeling clever at having gotten something he loved so much.

Here's the thing: since he got it, he hasn't stopped doing anything but woodworking. He hasn't needed me for anything, and he's hardly even spoken to the kids or me. Even the dog is mad at him and sulking because he won't play with it anymore! All human contact with Master has almost ceased, and I'm starting feel a bit funny... almost, jealous of the tools?! It's not that I have no way to keep busy and do things without him, but... those who know what I mean... what shall I do? I'd hate to mess it up by whining just when he's the happiest. But I'm feeling sort of neglected, and so is the family.


Jack down a little bit NGS...  Let him have his fun and take advantage of it by asking him to make stuff for you and for around the house!!!!  I have a full complement woodshop and haven't made anything for quite awhile. It WAS a passion for many years but priorities change and woodworking is on the back burner at this time. Your guy will  slow down abit after awhile....let him go have his fun and be glad that you obviously got him the perfect gift....... You did good!!!!!!

PS....have him make you a spreader and a nice new custom paddle....?????


< Message edited by stockingluvr54 -- 4/23/2007 3:37:39 PM >

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 4:07:47 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Oh boy, do I know what that feels like.  In my case it wasn't a gift I gave, but a Christmas gift he got from his nephew and the "honeymoon" with the gift did not end during my entire visit with him.  It was frustrating, annoying and at times I felt very neglected. 

Other than talking with him about how you feel and your perspective, I don't have much advice to give.  Eventually, the interest in this gift may fade a little and his time will be spent on other activities.  Though waiting for that to happen can be quite challenging.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 4:08:02 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline 		You should make a paper airplane and fly it past him so he reads it.

Great  idea to catch anyone's attention LA !!  

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A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 7:00:09 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		If it were me I would ask him about the tools, the uses for the tools, and have him teach me about it if he was game for that. It would teach you a new skill, give you time with him, and he could take pride in showing you his knowledge by sharing himself with you

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 7:13:59 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Dress up as a piece of wood and lay on his work table....just sayin.....

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 8:07:56 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Box 'em up and mail 'em to me! 

How long has it been going on? You can't give a guy a new toy not expect him to play with it.

Try to make an "appointment" with him a day in advance, to do something with you or with the family. Don't wait until he's in the shop, or about to go out to the shop, before asking him to change plans. Make him a better offer before he's set his mind on woodworking for the day.

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/23/2007 11:26:18 PM   
gypsyfirefly


Posts: 643
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		Ask if you may assist Him in someway - getting items He might need or even just sweeping up the sawdust?  Of course, He may just wish to be alone and enjoy the gift you so thoughtfully gave Him. Either way, He is enjoying Himself. Try to take pleasure in the fact that He is enjoying Himself because of something you did for Him!
 
 
We are all wanderers on this earth. Our hearts full of wonder, our souls deep with dreams.  ~ Gypsy Proverb

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/24/2007 1:54:07 AM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		you have no idea how hard it is, for us men, to live up to womens expectations of us!
a short sharp jolt (men are not gifted at interpreting hints) might be to go as if to bed with him, but place the hammer in your position gently in the bed, and go wordlessly into another room, until he comes looking for you.

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beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/24/2007 2:30:22 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Many men including myself, do not deal in hints...and stopped looking for them a long time ago. Like most of us...we want the words and without mincing. 

Ask him to make some toys for you...and I bet he'll make them for himself. Then he will need to demonstrate the toys on you...don't ya think ?

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 4/24/2007 2:37:02 AM >

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/24/2007 4:30:30 AM   
kaie


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings All,

  i agree with julia.  i would ask to learn about them, and have him teach me how to use them too.  i had a similar problem with football. And the draft is this weekend.   So, i sat down and said that i miss being able to spend time with him during football season and i wanted to learn about the game too.  i was kind of nervous, thinking he wouldn't want to take the time, but he was thrilled that i was interested in something he was interested in and really took off with the idea.  Giving me all kinds of assignments and such about football and making me pick a team because i'd enjoy it more, etc.  i also agree that guys like a straight shooter, just tell him how you feel.  i think some of the other suggestions, though fun and interesting to entertain the idea, might end up causing more problems than the woodworking tools are. 

Respectfully,
kaie

(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/24/2007 7:25:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well all of these ideas on how to integrate her self into his hobby is great- it still doesn't solve the issue that he's spending ALL his time with the hobby.  One can assume this means around the house chores, as well as private intimate time.  You can't substitute those things out.

And I don't think it's right for a master to abandon those over the long term due to a new toy.  We make commitments, we build expectations, and we need to be held accountable to them.  I think the OP is perfectly justified in her frustrations and "jealousy."  It doesn't seem to be much, she's even still laughing at herself about it- that sounds reasonable to me.

As I said originally- you give someone some time.  We all deserve vacations from life, and a week seems about right to be able to let go of it all without real repercussions.  Afterwards though, it's time to come back to Earth. 

Getting involved yourself is a great option and one I can definitely see worth exploring- but that still doesn't mean he gets to forget all the things he's committed to doing, nor what builds the strength in the relationship together.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/24/2007 7:29:48 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		 You've just described me to a T when I'm newly absorbed in something or even just absorbed. I don't want to *balance* everything else along with this passion.....that stops it being a passion.

Anyhow ..........I'd probably sit with the kids and the dog outside the workspace with a jolly, bright and cute placard saying * We miss you*, with down-turned clown mouths painted on us all.

I once taught the kids a daft song I'd heard, when my husband was working late and weekends continually........We crooned down the phone * Ohhhhhhh, Won't you come home Daddy, Daddy, Come home Daddy, Won't you come homeeeeeeee*........

Ok, I know I'm a silly person.........but HE got the point and we ALL got to laugh.

agirl



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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/24/2007 7:36:38 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Act like a tree and leaf???

I know....groan.

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/24/2007 10:00:35 AM   
annapolisfemme


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/14/2004
Status: offline 		Relax & be proud of yourself for giving a gift he appreciates so much.

Deliver snacks or a meal to his workshop - or have the kids do so & sit down for a few minutes to eat with him & listen as he talks about his new passion. 

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RE: My gift was too much of a good thing! - 4/29/2007 12:06:29 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I think you have mad him insanely happy. And he may have forgotten others depend on him. But I also feel you should give him some time and space. You never know, he might be making something for you and the kids, and the dog just has to suck it up. If it goes on too long, throw the breaker! Then stand there and wait for hom to show up.

< Message edited by Kitte9 -- 4/29/2007 12:07:24 PM >

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