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Quiet fun - 4/23/2007 7:39:48 PM   
bacchas


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		My friend who's topped me in the past is afraid of getting kicked out of her apartment like some of her neighbors have. I told her that I'd try to find some quieter activities for us.

She's relatively new at topping, and I've done very little, other than sensation play with people. Most of my experience is from parties or conventions.


I'm very interested in authority and power play, but honestly I have little idea in what to suggest for that type of scene because I've never really done it. Internet stories aren't a good source of inspiration because most of those (while interesting) are so outlandish that they could never be done in real life.

So I ask you good readers. What are some things we could do under these conditions. I'm kind of looking for things that may have more of an authoritarian feel, things that are more mental than physical in nature.

Thank you

ps I told her that I like gags, but I don't think she really does
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Quiet fun - 4/23/2007 7:45:06 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Gags are helpful, if you're particularly loud.  You can also play music - not necessarily loudly, but it does buffer some of the noise.   Another alternative is play in a room that doesn't butt up to a neighbor's apartment if possible.

Alternatives:  learn to give her massage, pedicures, and other acts of pampering.  Rope bondage, particularly situational.  Position training.  There are a lot of possibilities :-)

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Quiet fun - 4/23/2007 9:51:44 PM   
bacchas


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Position training? I'm not familiar with that.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Quiet fun - 4/24/2007 6:11:12 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Position training is the act of teaching someone positions for different things. ie when you walk in the door she assumes position A.  When you stand up in a room she assumes position B.  When you tell her to go to the bed she assumes position C.  You make this up to suit your needs.  This can be very powerful.

You want play that revolves around the mind and that power it sounds.  Bondage in all its glorious forms is a wonderful way.  A sadistic person will tie a sub up, and then discuss all the potentially ugly things he could do to her....pierce, cut, fire....the list is long and the explanation slow and methodical.  He will then blindfold her and let her imagination run wild. 

One of my favorite things to do is tie him up, explain some of my "harder" kinks, including knife play.  Then bring out some of the harsher toys.  One of which happens to be a small pointed knife.  I then blind fold him and do a few various "softer" things.  each touch makes him wonder if that knife is next.  I go slowly and leave go back leave go back.  Eventually as quietly as I can muster I bring in a small cup or bowl of water that is approximately 98.6 degrees.  See where this is going?

I dip the knife in the water and ever so gently run the edge of the knife along the skin so as to let the water drop to the body.  In a situation like the the sub has no idea that it is water.  It feels like body temperature fluid and of course his mind has already gone crazy with what could happen.  He thinks he's been cut.  But, wait, it doesn't hurt.  But, wait, he feels his blood running down his body.  *S* I love that trick and now I share it with all......  My lovely knife.....has never cut a single time.  I use the X-actos for that...easily cleaned and disposable...one blade per person.

D~

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Quiet fun - 4/24/2007 7:03:42 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		What is she interested in doing?

If she isn't interested in Ds then anything like that is going to fall flat.

If she's interested in flogging, you may have to find another place to play. Even the quietest flogging will produce noise.

If she's interested in SM there are small things you can do that while they themselves are not noisy, they can create a good deal of pain. Then it becomes a matter of the bottom learning to be more quiet.

Personally I don't like quiet and I wouldn't live somewhere that others could easily overhear what was happening.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Quiet fun - 4/24/2007 6:58:07 PM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline 		Along with what others stated:

Bondage
Mummification
Wax Play
Needle Play
Fire Play
Role Play
Sensation Play (without any real impact play)
Objectification
Humiliation
Golden Showers (and the like)
Water Bondage (in the tub)
Sensory Deprivation
Caging
Queening
Strap On
Sleep Sacs
Hoods
Vacu Beds (people hear vacuums all the time lol)


are just a few things that popped in my head that do not generate a lot of noise if done properly and instructed well.

Tigress~FL

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Quiet fun - 4/24/2007 7:36:15 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Trampling comes to mind...
Violet wands are lovely
Ice is a devious torture device
Using a strapon sounds just like fucking...shouldn't get kicked out for that (already mentioned)
Vampire gloves
Devil's fire
Fisting is another "just like fucking" activity
Knife play YUM!

Most things have already been mentioned, but a lot of CBT is relatively quiet in and of itself. Though you might be loud if she does something particularly intense. Nipple torture is normally rather quiet also

~E

(in reply to TigressFL)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Quiet fun - 4/24/2007 8:03:37 PM   
bacchas


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
What is she interested in doing?...


I'm not entirely sure. She's been pretty vague when I've asked what she wants to do. The couple of times we've played, I've been tied up and she'd tickle me, play with ice, a bit of hot wax. Personally I don't think these things were all that loud but eh. She's expressed an interest in shaving me, I'm fine with that.

I've seen her bottom a number of times and she seems to enjoy sensual scratching, caressing and things of that nature, but I don't know how intimate she wants to be.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Quiet fun - 4/25/2007 6:20:40 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bacchas

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
What is she interested in doing?...


I'm not entirely sure. She's been pretty vague when I've asked what she wants to do. The couple of times we've played, I've been tied up and she'd tickle me, play with ice, a bit of hot wax. Personally I don't think these things were all that loud but eh. She's expressed an interest in shaving me, I'm fine with that.

I've seen her bottom a number of times and she seems to enjoy sensual scratching, caressing and things of that nature, but I don't know how intimate she wants to be.


This is your greatest problem then.

Without clear and complete information from her, I just don't see how you two can solve any problem -- in terms of SM, Ds, noise, anything.

To each his own, but I won't play with someone who can't communicate with me especially after one trial scene.

Since it reads likes she's in the top role I think she has a slightly greater responsibility here to communicate well and to lead negotiations. Otherwise how is she the top? Is she a service top just there to fulfill the wishes of her play partner?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Quiet fun - 4/25/2007 12:30:18 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		I do most of the play that will cause screams in a dungeon. You may be able to find a local dungeon by asking people at one of these links:
 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EastSideMunch/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MilwaukeeMunch/
http://www.sewdg.com/
http://satyricon-ds.hypermart.net/calendar.html
 
Also, if you get a motel room during the day, no one bothers to check what the noise is all about....

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Quiet fun - 4/25/2007 12:38:10 PM   
MissDiscipline


Posts: 117
Joined: 10/1/2006
From: Domme Beach Calif
Status: offline 		In addition to a dungeon, I use gags and music when I am in a hotel or I just tell my sub to STFU..

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Quiet fun - 4/25/2007 3:49:17 PM   
stacydahling


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline 		There are also some very quiet spanking toys.  Just make sure the sub is well gagged.  Our favorite quiet spanking toys are a couple of rubber toys we've found and something we picked up at a tack store called a bosal.  Strap on play, bondage, smothering, etc... are also many other quiet things to do.  Just make sure the sub is gagged and understands that too much crying out through the gag and the play stops immediately.  The sub will be suprisingly quiet if you suggest that play stops if they are too loud.

(in reply to MissDiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Quiet fun - 4/26/2007 8:18:22 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		It has been a while since I've been at a tack store. Thanks for the heads up on the bosal. It looks like it would make a good toy! If someone wants to see a bosal, you can visit http://cgi.ebay.com/Black-White-Braided-Rawhide-Bosal-Horse-Tack-equine_W0QQitemZ290109451617QQihZ019QQcategoryZ3157QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItem


_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to stacydahling)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Quiet fun - 4/26/2007 9:39:01 AM   
stacydahling


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline 		There are all kinds of pervertables in a tack shop...  I'm glad you like that one.  I'd also suggest looking up sweat scrapers.  They are wonderful toys.  

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Quiet fun - 4/26/2007 4:39:35 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		Oh yes, I've gotten a LOT of toys at tack shops and farm supplies. http://www.horsetackco.com/index.php has good prices on crops and bats for those who don't have a tack store close at hand. I highly reccomend the doggin bat http://www.horsetackco.com/leather_doggin_bat.html which I've seen on BDSM websites for $38. And http://www.horsetackco.com/international_jump_bat.html is only 18 inches long, so it fits in many toybags. Because it is inexpensive, it is a great one to doctor up.. aka add fur, sandpaper, feathers, studs or "vampire" nubs.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to stacydahling)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Quiet fun - 4/26/2007 4:47:28 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		oh, you can also get elastrators and their rings online http://www.livestockconcepts.com/Elastrator%20Tool.html for under $10, when they are $35 on BDSM sites. http://www.extremerestraints.com/heavy-duty-nipple-enlarger-kit_640.html

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Quiet fun - 4/26/2007 5:51:18 PM   
stacydahling


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline 		Here's the sweat scraper I was speaking of.  http://www.horsetackco.com/oster_sweat_scraper.html

I think I'm buying everything you just listed right now.  :)

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Quiet fun - 4/26/2007 7:20:21 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Generally, for emphasizing authority dynamics, the dominant has to want the submissive to do something. The authority dynamic is most obvious when the submissive doesn't want to do it. What does "authority and power play" mean to you--that is, what goal do you have in mind that makes you want to do authority and power play?

The top doesn't necessarily have to lead the negotiation (although if a person cannot run a negotiation effectively, I would argue that that person probably isn't a very developed *dominant*), and service topping (where the bottom is dominant) and egalitarian SM (where there isn't a power dynamic) are fine things to do, but typical dominant top/submissive bottom power play doesn't exactly work in that situation.

Also, your second message seems to indicate that you are assuming that your playmate likes to top using the same activities she enjoys when she bottoms--that's often not the case.

There are lots of quiet SM activities. Most "small" non-impact play, often genitorture-style stuff, is quiet in the application--whether the bottom can keep quiet during the application of clamps, needles or abrasion to tender areas like genitals and tongues is a matter of self-control. Electricity is often quiet and can be very painful. Difficult bondage doesn't make noise, and if you want to emphasize obedience, the top can ask the bottom to assume a difficult position, and the bottom remains in the difficult position out of self-discipline and obedience, not because of ropes or cuffs.

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 18
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