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How much control - 4/23/2007 9:47:04 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
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As a mistress, how much of your subs life do you control? Just the Bedroom? More? What are you peramiters?

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RE: How much control - 4/23/2007 11:08:26 PM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

As a mistress, how much of your subs life do you control? Just the Bedroom? More? What are you parameters?


I have a couple simple laws for those who chose to serve me and  my house. I will never ask them to do anything illegal. I will never ask them to do anything that will mentally or physically harm them. Other than that, it's pretty much whatever I want. I set the rules for my house and I expect all those who serve me to act accordingly. The house has its rituals and its schedules.

I control their lives.

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Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

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RE: How much control - 4/24/2007 6:02:26 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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I ditto MistressMelissa and add a caveat. I will not ask someone to do something I would not do myself.  If I find it vulgar, too painful, wrong, disgusting, immoral, etc.  why or how could I expect someone else to do it???

D~

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RE: How much control - 4/24/2007 6:49:56 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

As a mistress, how much of your subs life do you control? Just the Bedroom? More? What are you peramiters?


Sometimes everything other than the bedroom!  Depends on my mood but I usually hate micromanaging slaves or submissives eg choosing what they eat and what they wear.  Who cares?.  Its exhausting and I have much better things to do with my time than police lots of rather pointless rules. 

Instead we have general rules that have become habits (for both of us) so they don't require constant effort to enforce.  I respect his limits and he has a safeword he can use for extreme physical or emotional discomfort.  Subject to those disclaimers, I am his owner and have permission to control anything I want

The main ways I control him off the top of my head are:

1 he must always call me Mistress except in public.  Even in public he may never use my real first name.  Nor may he call me by any terms of endearment (like honey or darling).  These speech controls really help enforce the authority gradient and he has only broken them twice in 10 months (and was punished both times)

2 he needs my consent before spending over $1000, (he wants me to be the sole signatory on his bank accounts and manage his finances but I cannot be bothered.  Its enough effort managing my own money)

3 he may not communicate in any way whatsoever with other Dominants without my consent and he needs my permission for meetings with anyone other than work related meetings, (this was necessary in the early days to get rid of all the women - vanilla and kinky -who felt they also had rights to him.  I had to clear my territory and be quite brutal about it)

4 he must walk and sit on my left (always) but unlike some Dommes, I let him sit on the furniture (he gets a sore back)

5 he must do the chores I allocate (at my house or his) immediately and well, unless he has a good excuse,

6 he may never open my mail, answer my phone, read my text messages or - god forbid - look over my shoulder when I am on the computer.  I - on the other hand - have full access to all his email, MSN, mobile telephone, bank statements etc 

7 he may not be a member of collarme or the Australian site where I publish.  This is to protect my privacy and allow me to post freely about him

8 he must sleep each night with me in the same bed and if he cannot (due to work), he must wear his CB3000.  He may never have an orgasm without my consent.  Never.

9 he must be a model partner to me when we are in vanilla settings such as work functions (by complete coincidence we work in the same profession and therefore know a lot of the same people)

10 Wherever he is and no matter what he is doing, if I ring he must take the call (I really like this one: I hate subs ever being uncontactable if I want something)

.....there's lots of ways he is controlled that matter to us given the nature of our relationship.  I know he keeps a running list of all the rules somewhere.

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 4/24/2007 7:01:02 AM >


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RE: How much control - 4/24/2007 6:55:12 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

As a mistress, how much of your subs life do you control? Just the Bedroom? More? What are you peramiters?


Well, I have a slave so his entire life is mine to control if I wanted to do so.

I have no desire to do so.

What I control depends on my mood and no the realities of mundane life. To control more than I really want makes my ownership a chore and not a pleasure. To try and control things I can't, is foolish and a sure way to make both of us feel like failures.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Kitte9)
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